My 15Mo Hits & Throws Things at Me & Our Dogs.

Hi D. - I'm a grandma and understand how frustrating this can be. Swatting him is reinforcing that it is okay to respond with hitting/throwing. Look up "Love and Logic" - it's an awesome program that allows parents to gain back their power allowing for the child to have some on his own. I wish this program had been around when I was a mom! Good luck! D.

D.

I don't have much advice on the hitting, but I want to tell you what we did for our daughter when she was only about 14 months old for time outs. It was at Christmas and she just wouldn't leave the Christmas tree alone. After telling her no several times I went to every time she would play with the tree I told her "don't play with the tree", then I would hold her on my lap also holding her hands down for 1 minute(my pediatrician told me one minute for every year), she screamed the whole time of course. After a minute I would kiss her and put her down. I did this every time. It worked! After a day of this she stopped playing with the tree. We also did this when she went through a biting phase. It worked then too. I hope this helps. Good luck.

J.

run to a library or bookstore and get "love and logic". he's not too young for time outs, but it has to be done in an effective way. trust me, this is the time where he figures out how to push yoour buttons, get what he wants, get a fun big reaction from you, what kind of attention he can get, etc. i wish i had done it with me second child, who is still very difficult at 5, because it's hard to re-train. we've been very consistant with this method with our 2-yr old since he was 1, and would do the same thing your son is doing, and he is now very obedient. the idea is to allow consequences to occur, instead of punishment. you can provide the conseqence, we use his crib, and just say "oh, too bad!" in a sing-songy voice and put him in his crib for a few minutes. the idea is, no reaction (kids love that big reaction!, but just so he realizes "when I do A, B happens" not that he's in trouble or that he gets negative attention (attentiuon is attention to a child). anyway, it teaches choice and consequence, and the book or tapes explain it really well. good luck!

try giving him a ball and playing catch

Jamie V has got it! Good Luck. Just do what works for you and your son but please don't hit a 15 mth to teach him not to hit. He needs to be taught not hit. My son (30 mos) did the same thing with his toys. We put the toy in a time out where he could see it. It took 3 times for him to figure it out. When you give the toy back explain that it will go in a time out again if he throws it at somebody or the dog. Be prepared for him to throw it at you the second you give it back to him the first time. He will do it just to see what happens. Be firm and consistant, your son will catch on real quick. He needs to learn form you what is ok and what is not.
Play throwing games to teach him. We play catch with balls we throw the ball for the dog not at him and we throw bean bags into a bucket. The basket ball hoop works great too. Good luck hang in there!

My son is 2 1/2 and had the same problem i ended up with a black eye stitches you name it... I went to his OT which is his therapist because his is autistic and asked for help because when i would swat hed hit harder and harder until I gave up on punishing him.. It was so stress full finally they told me to try the snuggle time. THis is were you hold the child firmly in your arms sitting down and until they calm down you hold them when you let them down you tell them you love them and thank him for calming down if he hits again do it again it actually worked and now he still has his fits with frustration but it takes me 1 minute of holding him talking calmly to him and he stops and he gets up hugs me and tells me thank you now its cute but if you have any other questions please let me know

I started my young one on time outs at that time because he threw stuff at me. I put him in a chair facing the wall and said to stay there until I said he could get up. At that age the time out should be for just 1 minute. They won't like sitting in a chair with Arms, facing the wall very much and eventually will stop. I got my son to stop throwing fits as well that way. He would have to sit in the chair until he stopped crying and then he could get up. I would also voice your concern to your doctor and see if he may have some other physical problems going on. My son was hitting and such because he got frustrated that he could not communicate what he needed to at the time.

Motherhood can definitely be a challenge!! It is definitely wise to try to get this hitting under wraps. I would still try to do short time outs in a regular spot, you may have to sit with him for him to stay. Also, taking toys away that he is throwing may help. Also, reinforcing and giving him lots of attention for positive behaviors and acting like a "big boy" might help, along with ignoring or reacting less emotionally to negative behaviors. He might be seeking attention. I know my three year old acts out more if I make a phone call or write an email.
Figuring out why he does certain behaviors may help and also what he considers a negative or positive consequences maybe very useful to figure out. For example, I taught for 8 years before becoming a stay at home mom and some of my students might need a hug and how was your night to avoid a long day of attention seeking behavior and other kids I worked with loved to be alone of isolated, so time outs are not particularly the best consequence of negative behavior. The fact that you are trying to figure out how to meet your child's needs, means you are on the right path to finding a solution that works for your family. Best of luck! I am sure everything will work out!

I have found that spanking doesnt help. My daughter also throws things and hits me. Hitting didnt help with that she just figured if mom was spanking her she can do the same I suppose. Now I have a chair that is in the corner. Whenver she misbehaves she knows she is going to the naughty chair and believe it or not but she is actually trying to bhave more because she hates sitting in the chair. I learned this technic from watching SuperNanny. It really can work but you have to be perisitant. Hope this helps

you REALLY need to get his attention. If swatting him on the backside doesn't get his attention (and by swatting,I don't mean a tap...but not a real 'beating' either)then pop him on the thigh just below his diaper. Sometimes they feel nothing through the diaper and therefore are not getting the point that it is a punishment. At some point he may hurt the dog enough that the dog actually snaps at him out of protection for itself. He needs to realize that hitting and throwing things at you or others (including animals) can cause pain & it might take causing him a little pain to get the point.

Hi D.,

I agree with Jamie V, redirect! I always say no hit, that hurts Mommy or Kitty---- then say gentle or hugs and kisses only! I really think they all try to get a reaction from us, no matter if it's good or bad. Try to remember to appreciate the good moments and point them out as much as possible! Sooner or later they will see it's nice to get attention from good behavior, not so much the bad! You know his personality and what works best!! Good Luck : )

A.

I would try time out and just sit next to him and when he goes to get out tell him NO and sit him back down, I have put children that young in time out, but you have to stay with him or yes he will take off. Good luck it can't hurt to try it.

My 15 month old boy does the same thing! He hits his 3 year old brother and me (pregnant and due end of July). Sounds like we have alot in common! I just keep repeating in a firm voice "no hitting" and hope this will stop once he starts learning to use more words. He seems frustrated because he can't express himself like he wants to.

My daughter went through this but she would also scratch to the point of blood. She did that to my husband and would usually pinch me. Once we learned not to "react" and just ignore it as if it didn't happen - it stopped!!! She was doing it for the reaction. You said your son has a smile on his face while doing it. This is because somehow he got the impression that this was fun because he got such a reaction. It will become a game, I saw that with my daughter. I stopped reacting and started ignoring it and it stopped with me. Once my husband had been scratched in the face so many times he finally listened to me and stopped reacting as well. I am glad to say that it seems to be over and has been for quite some time.

Just please remember that each child is different and what might work with one will not always work with another. :-) Just decide what you want to try and stick with it for at least a couple of days.

If you do decide to go with the time-outs (everything I heard is that under 3 they really don't understand it which was true for my daughter) I would do it for 1 minute and sit with him for that minute. Don't forget to try to explain what is going on and why too.

Good luck on whatever you decide and know that you have support here!

Hi D.

I have a variety of suggestions for you and your 15 mo. He might be going through a testing stage where he is trying out his independence.

Some of the strategies that I have used is firstly having a behaviour stool or mat. If my son (4) is naughty, he sits on the naughty mat and has to stay there quietly.

He now knows what kind of behaviour is suitable.

Second option is to remove some of his favourite toys.

Third option is very alternative!!!! My boy watches Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. It is a very moralistic children's dvd and is focussed around trains. They talk about behaviour management, consequences and punishment.

Just thought I would throw my two cents in!!!

J.

I would have to agree with you as you mention that swatting him reinforces the idea that hitting is okay. I've never been a believer in spanking so I've had to get creative. I understand the need to keep the crib a safe place. In the past, when my kids were little, I kept a pack-n-play in an area in the house to use as time out. We started time out at about the same age as your son. We start with about 2 min. and as they get older we would increase it. Kids love attention, and when they find out that attention gets taken away when they do something unfavorable, they soon get the idea. He probably senses that a little one is on the way and he's probably just securing his spot in the family, making sure he won't be forgotten or left out when the new one arrives. Good luck and God Bless, A.

Just redirect, redirect, redirect. I just read an article that says they are not doing this to intentionally harm anyone. It is just a phase. They are experimenting, etc.... He doesn't know what he is doing is hurtful. He should grow out of it.

Yep, Been there. So don't think that your son is extra naughty, but something does need to be done. I think that hitting back doesn't do any good. So I developed the three stages of time out in which case I have only ever gotten to stage two and he's better. I have a chair in my house and before that I just made him sit against the wall. But it's the time out chair and the first stage is he just has to sit in the chair and can come out when he's all done. Second stage is the chair is flipped around into the corner so he can't see anyone and I tell him when he gets out. Third stage is he has his head against the wall. What normally happens is he gets to aggresive and so I tell him to go to time out (when I first began I took him there). He'll go to time out and cry a little and sit for about 15 seconds and then he'll come back to me and I'll ask if he's all done and he then gives me a hug. Normally all is well after that or I might have to remind him to be soft but for the most part it works until next time. Hope I helped.

D.,

You are correct that swatting him merely reinforces the behavior and also that he is too young for time-out. The first thing I would do is get down on his level, look him straight in the eye, and say "That hurts, and makes me sad." (Give him the saddest face you have). Secondly, take away the object he threw IMMEDIATELY, regardless of his reaction. If sippy cups are a problem, give him one ONLY when he is genuinely in need of a drink, supervise his drinking, and DO NOT let him walk around with it. All this is merely his way of getting attention, so make sure you give him POSITIVE feedback when he does NOT react this way and whenever he does something "nice." Hug him, tell him how much you love him but that his naughty behaviors are not acceptable. He must learn to make good choices. Let him know in no uncertain terms when he makes a "bad choice."
K.