Moving My Boys into the Same Room

not really good suggestions--but ideas. I assume you're talking to the boys about this upcoming move-- so DS4 knows DS2 is coming, etc. I would suggest separate bedtimes...DS2 has to go to bed even 15 minutes earlier than DS4--but DS4 would have to be ready (in PJs, etc, by the time DS2 goes down.) THen maybe DS2 would be asleep by the time DS4 got to bed.

Also--by the time this happens, DS4 may be out of this stage of being scared to go to sleep.

Another angle that might work---DS4 might be less afraid since DS2 is in the room with him. ??

My thoughts were a combination of Marianne's and Pam's posts....stagger their bedtime - let the 2 year old go in and get to sleep while the older child begins his bedtime routine. By the time the older child is ready to go to bed, the other child will be asleep.

We have a air treatment system in our daughters bedroom that creates white noise, and there's a humidifier with a nightlight that shows up through the tank. She also has a flashlight on her night table. We tell her every night to have good good dreams too.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

Some of the things that worked for me as we had to shffle 5 children around over the years are: Having separate bed times-I would put the younger child to bed with a story prayers and tucking in time while the older son finished his shower and snack. The older child would be read his story on our bed and then tucked in with his own quiet prayers and goodnights. One of the things that helped nightmares for us was talking about "happy thoughts" Before we said goodnight. What makes you smile, what was your favorite bday present etc. Helping children go to sleep with pleasant thoughts can sometimes ward off nightmares.I have also put the children to sleep in our bed and moved them later.Somestimes showers and stories together also worked and then each child would have their own tucking in and prayers.

R., I realize that I'm late in responding but just now able to read my mail. This is what worked for my daughter, who also is scared of the dark at times: if you don't already use one- get a night light so the bedroom is not totally dark and 2nd-- find some nice smelling room spray (I use a lavender scent which is also suppose to promote restfullness and sleep) this spray smells "bad" to monsters, or helps to keep bad dreams away. We went from having to use it everynight to just using it occassionally. Good luck.

We also have two boys, 3 and 4 1/2 so I have been anxiously reading your responses.
On the nightmares thing my oldest had that issue and we started talking about dreams right before he goes to sleep, last thing before I leave I ask him what he's goes to dream about and try to "direct" his ideas appropriately if he doesn't come up with something good/happy - this has dramatically improved that situation. On the room issue - Mine have seperate rooms now but we have debated having them shared because the youngest does not like to be alone to go to sleep. We have tried all sorts of ways of dealing with this, limiting or eliminating naps, moving bedtime around, changing routine with no real luck. Like you both of them will take a while to go to sleep, they stay in bed but will talk/play, sing for sometimes up to 2 + hours to go to sleep with or without us. I'd like to try having them share but am afraid then they will play together and make it worse and different bed times doesn't really solve my issue. Good Luck with the advice and the transistion I will keep reading your responses for my own issues!

It will be difficult for a few days, but they will get used to each other. As for your child that is afraid to go to sleep, it is just an excuse. Don't play into it. Firmly tell him, that a dream is just a dream and he must go to sleep and that if he does have a bad dream, he can wake up and come tell you about. Don't coddle him over this, it will just make it worse. He may feel better at having his brother in the room with him at night.

our 4 and 2 year olds sleep in the same room, and though I try to stagger bedtimes, the younger one is usually awake for at least a half hour, singing and jabbering. I usually put the 2 year old to bed in his bed (though he usually ends up moving himself into his older sister's bed....) then I put my daughter to sleep in my bed and just move them both to their own beds when I get ready to go to bed myself. saves a lot of arguing between the kids and they both go to sleep a lot easier.

good luck with your kids!!

Do you leave a nightlight on for your older boy? Do you play soft music in the room until he is asleep? If not it might help. Also the fact he is not alone in the room might help with the "afraid to go to sleep" issues. You can put the younger one to bed 15 minutes or so before the older boy so his "talking" won't be as big a problem.

When we moved our 2 into the same room, we would stagger their bedtimes as well my boys were 4 & 1.5 at that time - we actually put the older one to bed first, then the younger one, as the older one tends to fall asleep more quickly lol - the staggaring worked for a few months, then we started putting them to bed at the same time. We do have rules regarding goofing off once prayers are said and it is time to sleep - if they start to make a lot of noise, the first thing that happens is the light gets turned off. If the noise continues, the door is closed for 10 minutes - if they can stay quiet, we will re-open the door (both of them are adamant that they want that door open, so this is very effective). This works very well for us - my younger son is almost 5 now, and no matter what time we put him to bed, he usually doesn't fall asleep before 10. my older son is now 7, and he is usually asleep within 20 min of putting him to bed - its amazing how different two children can be lol!

Good luck - let us know how it turns out :)

~T.

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R., try using some soothing music at bedtime for both of the boys now. Then when you move them into the same room, it will be a part of the their nightly routine. I know that when i had bad days & had night scares; i always would put on some soothing music & it helped me to calm down to sleep peacefully at night; but, i also would wrap my arms around my bible too! Kids that age need something for comfort. Hope it helps. Good luck!

Are you sure you want to be transitioning him into that room if he is afraid of having nightmares? Something has triggered his fear that may add to it. I would wait until you get through the nightmare stage. Can you put something in his room that he can see that he can see as his "protector". Have you also tried praying with him before he goes to sleep?