Moody 4 Year old....help

Updated on July 18, 2010
C.M. asks from Denton, TX
5 answers

Hey Moms,

I need advice on how to handle my four year old daughter. She has been extremely moody and difficult to handle for the last month or two (can't remember exactly when this started). She was a super baby, then we hit the terrible twos followed by the trying threes. Now that she is four it is almost impossible to get through a day without several breakdowns. She is super sweet and always has been, but lately she has been really mean to my younger son. I don't think it's out of boredom because we have several activities planned through out the day. She also gets downtime while my son is napping. I have had issues getting her to sleep at night (I can't get her to sleep until 10 or 10:30) and she has always been very sensitive to lack of sleep.

Things she does...
Wakes up grumpy
Yells and screams if she doesn't get her way. Says "you're not my friend" alot.
Cries and breaks down at the littlest things (she drops food on the floor or spills food on the table)
Sticks out her tongue
Has been overly sensitive

I never know what will set her off. It has made for some very long days for both of us. I'm not sure why she has recently started freaking out when things don't go her way. I've never been one to "give in".

Any suggestions on what do do or how to handle this? I'm ready to enjoy my daughter again. I hate feeling like we are enemies. If this is how she is at 4...I can only imagine what she will be like as a teenager!

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Mine is almost four and I'm having a similar experience. Sometimes you want to scream right along with them. I don't belive it's aimed at us or purposeful - just that they need something. As someone suggested, maybe it's just more mommy time and less structured activities where she feels she's in control. I did find with mine, that involving her in helping w/ dinner, getting things for the baby, dressing herself, doing all she could made her feel better - happier, in control?? Also, try to talk with her when she has an outburst. As hard as it is, try to remain calm and ask why she is so upset? Listen and help her find a solution to what's bugging her. This obviously doesn't work all the time, but might give you some insight into what's bugging her. I'm sure the sleep isn't helping, but I can't belive that is the whole story. Hang in there.... when it's bad, I try to fastforward to the teenage years, and I know I'll wish I was in the 4s again......

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Try pushing bedtime back by 15 or 30 minutes at a time, more sleep may make for a happier little girl! Set aside time during the day for some one on one time with her, maybe she is feeling a little neglected about face time with mommy. Nothing big, just color together or have her help you make something for dinner (or even baking something for a REALLY special time!!).
Hopefully at least one of these things helps. Sometimes at that age they need a little more TLC, especially since they are so much more aware of their surroundings. Good luck and here's to a smiley 4yr old!:)

1 mom found this helpful
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G.O.

answers from Brownsville on

my four year old is the same way... very big attitude and strong minded. like you said i can only imagine her as a teen!! but tackling the here and now is hard enough. i feel as though too many activities might be overstimulating for her. she likes to play outside but not for long periods and i feel it helps release her energy. she does have meltdowns for everything like brushing her teeth, brushing her hair, what clothes shes going to wear, taking a shower, wiping herself, eating a sandwich, drinking juice instead of milk or vice versa, pretty much anything can set her off. i think as a parent you just have to breath and make her go to timeout when shes being a maniac. if i see my daughter having a meltdown i send her to her room to timeout. im letting her have her meltdown in timeout and shes releasing all those feelings shes having but away from whatever the situation was.

let me know if you find something better because im ready to enjoy my daughter again too!!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

Read one or both of these: "siblings without rivalry" by Faber/Mazlish and "mom! Jason's breathing on me". by Wolf.

It will change your life. Both should be at your library. Another great book by Faber is "How to Talk so Kids wlll Listen". Easy to read and chock full of useful information.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Dallas on

Could part of her behavior have anything to do with her food intake? When you give kids a lot of sugar, then it can set them off. If you haven't talked to your doctor about this already please do so. Also, I educate others on the importance of eating more fruits and veggies which helps us by providing more energy and reducing stress.

I've been introduced to a wonderful whole food based supplement, made from 17 different fruits and veggies. They have been juiced, dehydrated and then the powders put into capsules and gummies. There are over 20 independent studies (not done by our company) that show that it actually gets into the bloodstream, it balances and strengthens the immune system (don't get as many or as severe colds or flu AND minimizes allergies, asthma and disorders such as ADHD,rheumatoid arthritis, MS, celiacs, etc), improves blood flow and other markers of cardiovascular health, and reduces inflammation and oxidative stress.

If you would like to know more about what I do, please get back to me. This might be something you might want to check out for your family. If you do, then we should talk. It doesn't hurt to chat and check out your options. Good luck with whatever you do.

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