Mom That Wants to Go Back to School...

Hi, A.. You sound like me: almost 16 year old who plays baseball, a 14 year old who plays soccer and 3 year old. A Yorki and a husband. I am on my last 2 classes to earn my Master's Degree, it can be done but it requires a LOT of effort and mind setting and ONLINE school. It's the most flexible way to go to school without sacrificing "their" time. What I have done for the past 4 years that I have been going to school: get dinner, homework and anything else done and my bedtime is not longer 10 it's midnight so I could go to "school" once I am done with the family. A laptop is grea to take along to practices so you can get work done while they are in practice.

Good luck, but I am living proof that it can be DONE~

You have to look inside yourself to your heartfelt calling.... Is it family? Is it career? Is it your children and husband? Yourself? You have to make the decision based on where YOU think your energy, time, companionship etc should be spent. If you have looked over a daily, weekly, monthly schedule and see where the majority of your time is spent either now or with the changes you are desiring, does this satisfy where you want to be or where you want your time spent? There are only so many hours in a day, month, year, and our kids are only kids ONCE..... There is never another chance to rewind and spend time with them as children, and I think you gave thought about that with your concern about missing their activities. They are already apart from you for hours every weekday (I'm assuming) so all they have left to get your attention and time is a little bit each evening and weekends. If you were able to create a schedule that didn't sacrifice their time with you, I think you would be happy, but otherwise you may consider waiting or doing sonethjbg online that can be accomplished late at night after they are asleep???

I think you are right.... With kids, others come first :-) if you are Christian, you could look inside yourself and pray that your calling be revealed. It may very well be that one if these other passions is in the works for you, bug maybe after your kids are grown???

A.,

I totally feel what your are saying. It sounds like you want a challenging career to make a difference in people's lives and still be an active Mom.

I would love to be able to speak more with you. What part of town do you live?

Regards,

A.

Thine name is MOTHER. I feel for you, girl. I'm kind of in the same boat. Although I'm a SAHM, I desperately want to do something for me, but just dont feel like there is time. I think the truth is, if you want to do it, something HAS to give and a sacrifice has to be made somewhere else. Its the superwoman complex and the reality is we CANT do it all. Try to stay positive and remember that the sacrifice we make is one that lets new, beautiful lives flourish and they wont be kids forever. All the best.

Is there any way you can go part time at your job so you can go back to school? With the economy being what it is, your boss may be more open to that than you think. Call some local schools that cater to adults doing career training and get information about the programs they may have that you can do most of online from home. There are so many options available now that have a lot of flexibility for busy moms just like you. Don't waste time being depressed, arm yourself with knowledge and FIND a way to make it work!

i haven't read the responses from other women yet, but i will. i am in the same boat mamma. i want to go back to school so bad and it sounds like we even are interested in the same things to further ourselves in. i love cosmetology and i have also dreamed of becoming a nurse. maybe some other mommies have some ideas for both of us. :)

I think that you can give more of yourself whole and without resentment to your children (not that you necessarily feel that right now) if you feel like you're doing what you want to do with your life too.
Regarding the fields, you might just go and talk with a counselor at a community college to see which direction they would guide you. Personally, I think cosmetology industry wears on people and you have to put a lot of time in to get the income you want. If you have a talent for it, I say go the nurse or medical route. People are always sick and in need of care and that's a career field you don't have to worry about cutbacks in like you do the other things. Also, they have several 2 year medical programs available...possibly some you haven't thought of that a counselor could tell you about. Plus, jobs in that field are typically well-paid and since they are in demand you might have more flexibility with your scheduling (which is nice with kids). Whatever you choose, I wish you the best. It'll send a great message to your kids about the importance of education...no matter the age :)

I was working at a great job. Then I had my son and my job was not the best situation for a single mom. But I had no way out. Just my luck, I got into an argument with my boss. She suspended me. I went to my local college to look into a new career. As it turns out, I could not afford to quit my job and pay for college. So I went back to work. Then my Boss fired me. What a blessing in disguise. Because I was fired without good cause... I can get unemployment for up to a year maybe more, and since I am a displaced worker, and a single mom, I qualified for scholarships and grants that pay for all my college classes and my books and even some of my gas. Ching Ching!!! there is my advice. Sign up for college. Some have a waiting list. Find out what you can do to get fired... and dont do it until you get accepted into college. When you get fired at work, make sure it was not for anything serious like stealing or sex or something that is really bad. Just go late a few times, be undependable, inflexible... and you are out of there. In florida the boss does not have to have a great reason to fire you. But then you get unemployment. Life is too short to spend it serving the ungrateful boss. Go do something that you will enjoy until you are 67 yrs old. You kids will have to give up a bit of mom for 2 to 4 years. it is a small price to pay for a happier mom.
Cosmotology is not a good paying job. and the high end places will be harder work for low income. Nursing is a great job. you could be a school nurse, a vetrinary nurse with puppies, or even hospital nurse helping all the soldiers that will be returning with injuries

I'm a practicing CPA for 12 years - if you are trying to get out from behind a desk DO NOT go into accounting. After 12 years in, I feel a bit depressed as you do. The career choice I made pays well, but as a mom you are often forced to choose work or your family. Tax season has long extra hours and the work is rarely interesting. It's a job so I'm trying to stay positive. It sounds like you have a lot of talents and interests, don't settle for another desk job!

Bless you girl! You sound like someone I would be having coffee with (with kids running around and screaming and totally distracting us of course). I can feel for you so much - you are not alone. Most of the things you described as having an interest in are hands on training type jobs. Would your husband be supportive of helping out with the kids? What if you took the program a little slower than the average student so that you had more time for the family. I know with finance and accounting you could do a LOT of that on-line (even with a reputable school like UCF or UF) when the kids are asleep or at school. Doubt you could go that route for all of nursing or respiratory therapist, but maybe some of it? Worth looking into.
Keep your head up mom. You sound like an awesome mom and wife.

A., I just went back to school in the Fall. I would check with your community college 1st to see what they require for each degree. Most Associate's can be completed 80& - 100& online.

Maybe just 1 onlice course would help you out. I'm sure that there are community colleges in your area, pretty sure there is one in Lakeland.

Good Luck. I hope that you do go back, the sense of empowerment is amazing. I went because how can I require my daughter to get her degree, when I don't have one myself. I wanted her to see that learing is fun and as a woman you can do everything and more. I just didn't think and 3 1/2 she would notice. She went to daycare the other day and told my provider that she has homework.

R.

I too became burned out in my career after 18 years and decided to go back to school. Though my situation is different as far as work (I took time off after having my 2nd child three years ago) I have managed to go back taking one class at a time at night to complete my prerequisites and hopefully will begin the 2 yr program for physical therapy in the fall. I also found a scholarship at the school for "mature" women going back to school, so there is help out there. I don't know if you have other family members around to assist, but I found that I could use them at times as well - Grandma loves to spend time with her granddaughter:) I did take some courses online and some are even on the weekends. I noticed you live in Tampa - check out HCC - that is where I go now (and got the scholarship) but they do not have my program so I will transfer in the fall. Good Luck:)

Hi A., Iwent back to school too. It is hard with kids and toughwith the lack of jobs. I started doing Passion Parties and am having a blast, makig great money and getting out of the house. I still have plenty of family time. Let me know if you want more info. ____@____.com

See if you can find an on-line program to start. University of Phoenix or a similar program can definitely accommodate your busy schedule. (especially in accounting and finance)

Another option is to take a community education class for yourself. They are really cheap and are either in the evenings or on Saturdays. You can work on a certificate or just take leisurely activities for yourself.... You need something too! If you're in Miami, check out the Miami-Dade community education bulletin.

With your kids activities- Maybe you can set up a carpooling deal w/ another Mom. (trade off every other week or so)

Remember, happy Mom, happy family.

well if this is somethng you real feel this passionate about then you have ti sit down and figure out how you can make it happen. i wish you luck with it all. and yes you do already have a very busy schedule--but if you want it you will figure out how to achieve it. good luck,

I know exactly how you feel!I put off my wants to take care of someone else's needs as well. You just have to follow heart and your tuitions.

If you really want to go back to school and start a new career you should do it. I am a mother of two children. However, I lost my first child to kidney failure when she was 10 months old. During the pregnacy and her illness I was in college at UWF. It was a difficult time but I made it through college and graduated 4 days before my second daughter was born. You can give so much more to your children and you will be a happier person when it is all said and done. Yes you will have to make choices between your education and your childrens social/school activities. But in the end you will be better for it
C CODY

Hi A.,

You have a common dilemma that many women face. Finding that balance is especially tricky with the responsibility of and priority of 3 children. This is not a yes/no question you are asking. It will depend on several factors such as the age of your children, your organization and planning skills and your current support system. There are likely some things that you can cut out of your family's lives that can simplify your day a bit. You'll have to make some sacrifices likely. Organize your daily schedule to determine where and how you can add in time for college with minimal impact on your family. Start with that, and then look around you to see who can serve as a back up/support if you decide to return to school...start with your husband. Having children is a big committment and realistically, you have to give up some of your "wants" to do it well. However, that does not mean that you need to loose yourself in the process. You were an individual with interest, talents before you started a family and it's important for your own sanity that you express your positive qualities in life. That may mean that you need to go back to college to pursue your career passion. A mom and wife are only two of your hats...They are two of your most important obviously, but still only two aspects of who you are. If you know that you are meant to pursue a "hands on" profession that is in service of others, do it. You may not feel complete until you reach this self actualization. Think about how you define success? What does that encompass? If something is missing from that picture, do what you need to do to make yourself complete. Not only will you benefit, your family will as well by having a happier you around. Follow your gut instinct...it's rarely wrong. Go talk to a Career Counselor at your local community college. They can help you process your thoughts, provide career assessments that can highlight possible career paths, provide resources that will help choose among these paths and give you the encouragment and moral booster you need to get started. Good luck A.!

Hi A.,

I am a full-time mother, as well as a full-time student. I can tell you that it is possible - but the way in which it is possible is different for every family. My husband (God bless him!) works 2 full time jobs, so that I can be a full time mother and student. That may not be possible for your family - which is why I say, it is different for every family. Because my husband is always working, he can't watch our daughter while I go to class and I refuse to put her in any day-care type setting, so I attend online college. I have already earned my AA in Psychology and am currently working on my BS. As long as I am at home going to school, I will also home school our daughter. But when I go back to work (degrees in hand), my husband will quit one of his jobs and my daughter will go to school and we'll juggle life in a more traditional way. Meanwhile, this works for us. I know that I wouldn't be able to do this without online school, so it is a Godsend for me and because you're schedule is already so hectic, may be the best option for you too. The only problem is that online colleges are a bit limited when it comes to being able to offer hands-on training (for obvious reasons). The professions you mentioned all need hands-on training. So I would recommend that you pick the thing you most want. Are you just looking for a degree, or two? Do you need a change of career, if so, which one do you want? No matter your answers there, research that field. Make some calls and see exactly what you need to get it done. The next step is figuring out a way to make it happen. I won't lie - it is a family affair. You're family has to support you and help to make it happen. When I have finals, my family is super understanding. They know that for that time, being a Mama and wife has to come second. My husband steps in and handles things while I am working on my finals and then I am able to take over again when I am finished. During regular class time I am able to juggle the house, our child, my husband and the other things that come up - usually without a problem, but you should expect an adjustment period. It won't just fall into place over night. BUT, and this is so important, it IS possible. You just have to decide how much you want it and how hard you are willing to work for it. I have stayed up until 2-3am writing essays for the next day, but so far, it has always been worth it. The day I got to hold my AA in my hand and see my name on it, it erased all my struggles to get it. I think holding my BS will have the same effect. And maybe my Masters after that. :D Good luck to you and write if you have any questions.