Memory Loss Is Driving Me Nuts!

Updated on February 01, 2007
C.J. asks from Donna, TX
9 answers

Hi, When I first met my husband his memory was great! He had told me that he was in a depression for a long time and also taking memory enhancing pills because he could not remember some things the very next day. He said that after he met me he was not depressed and could remember simple things, usually about us, or our dates!

It seems like he's beginning to lose his memory again. I try to do new things with him but it doesn't work. Just last week we were getting everything together so that Monday morning we could go and get some needed paper work for our tax return. We drove off, ate breakfast and he asked "Where to?" Looking at it now I feel like I did the wrong thing. I got upset and yelled at him saying how dumb he was and how could he not know what we were doing that day and so on!

We don't have health insurance and have already spent more than $500 this past year on doctor visits with him because he is always having stomache problems. I didn't think of bringing it up because he wasn't having that problem!

Please help, anything would be good! It is ruining our relationship.

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S.G.

answers from Austin on

Sorry I have no advice for you, part of it is just having XY chromosomes, my husband does this often :) I am interested in the playgroup, what is RGV? We are new to the area and I have a 7 y/o and a 2 week old.

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L.W.

answers from McAllen on

C.,
I really think you need to put yourself in your husbands shoes. I know it may be frustrating for you (especially being a mama now a days with so much we have to do for our families) having to deal with a husband who can't remember simple little things. This can be making your blood boil. But think of it this way....what if it was you loosing your memory. Wouldn't you be scared? Worried? Frightened for your life and sanity?This is serious. Your husband could be going through early stages of Alzheimer's disease. How much would you do or spend to make sure you were taken care of? When you marry, it's for better or for worse, and although illness can cause a big strain on a marriage, it should only make you stronger and appreciate your partner more. Try reseaching the subject further. I was just reading something in FIRST magazine the other day on the effects of flaxseed optimizing brain power. It states that flaxseed is a natural brain power enhancer that boost brain function and heighten's memory. The way it works is that the linolenic acid (or omega-3 fatty acid) keeps the myelin sheaths that surround the brain cells lubricated, which is the key to maximizing the brain's ability to send messages, leading to sharper memory and improved motor skills. Aside from this it is also good (if eaten daily) to smooth out irregular periods, reduce cramping, reduce appetite (great for us who are trying to loose weight), and because it is natures richest source of magnesium, reduces stress enhanced nerve cell activity that leads to neck pain and tension headaches. The good thing is it is tasteless and can be mixed with your food. 1/2 a cup daily to reduce irregular periods and reduce stress related pains, & 3-6 Tbs. a day to reduce appetite. Either of these amounts daily, may just help your husband considerably, and help with your expenses. Who knows, this may just be nature's cure for Alzheimer's! I've seriously considered trying this myself...if it helps me with ANY of the above problems, I may just be all the better for it!

1 mom found this helpful
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N.M.

answers from San Antonio on

My husband has memory issues too, but mine frustration sounds like peanuts compared to this. Usually it's grocery store items, thing I need him to pick up on the way home. Taking care of everyday tasks is sometimes straining on his memory. I know most of these things sound like a typical man. But it drives me crazy.

Have you thought of trying Focus Factor, it's a new vitamin out it works wonders! When my husband was on it He was a whole new man, I highly recommend it and it's worth the cash. You can check it out here: www.freefocusfactor.com

You can also take ginko biloba which can be found at any grocery or health food store.

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B.W.

answers from Austin on

why not try some natural remedies? for starters... a healthy diet and plenty of water. but you can also look into ginkgo, st. johns wort, rosemary (it's for remembrance as Ophelia said). much less expensive than western medicine. do a google search on memory enhancing herbs.

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D.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi C..
I'm so sorry you guys are having to go through this.
It's unfortunate that you do not have health insurance.
I suggest that you go to www.liveops.com
This will allow you to work from home, which may help pay for any medical expenses. You choose when to work.
A friend of mine pays out of pocket for Blue Cross Blue Shield and says they are very reasonable.
I also recommend you go to the sites below and become informed before your next visit to your Husband's Doctor so that you can ask for tests to be administered to find out exactly what is causing the memory loss then be able to treat it properly and effectively.
You and/or your Husband should also attend a memory loss support group.

http://www.memorylossonline.com/
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003257.htm
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to...

Memory Loss Support Group in San Antonio:
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to...

Take Care.
D.

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S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

You don't say how old your husband is, but I would be worried about early onset alzheimers. He really needs to see a neurologist.

Good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Killeen on

Hi C.. I find myself forgetting things like appointments, things with kids at school and so on. I just had my son four months ago, and the doc tells me it's my body going back to normal. I take ginko biloba for memory loss and it seems to work rather well. Good luck with everything and many blessings...L.

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R.L.

answers from Odessa on

Sorry but I do not have any advice. But I wanted to thank you for the question. And to let you know that you're not alone. My boyfriend has a lot of memory problems and I to find myself yelling at him and blaming him for stuff. My boyfriend served in the military and goes to VA hospital for treatment. If your husband has served ANY time in the military, he might be eligible for aid threw the Veteran's services. He didn't even need to serve during war time. Good Luck!

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L.S.

answers from San Antonio on

I would try write a "Things to do" List everyday. Tell him it's to give him a clear view of what has to be done. My husband also has short term memory and it drives me nuts. I leave notes every where and a calender that shows everything we are doing put to a year in advance. My mom thinks I'm nuts and do other family members but I say if it keeps you to remember everything than why not do it. As for the health insurance I would suggest ya'll try to get some privately because you are paying that much by going to the doctor so much. Depression is not only cause by one factor but by many factor so don't think that you are the source of his depression. I'm depressed but not from my family I think I'm depressed because I feel like I do the wrong things in life and I'm always beating myself up with it.
Hope this helps,
L.

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