Meal for a Sick friend...how Does This Work?

When I've dropped off meals (through the schools helping hands program) I was given a choice of days to sign up, and they let us know if the family had any allergies or were vegetarians, etc.
We were given a specific place and time to drop the food, say between 3 and 5 pm in a cooler by the front door. We did NOT even knock on the door, we just dropped the food and left. Families that are dealing with sickness and other trauma don't want to be bothered with entertaining visitors, I would hope most people realize that!

Hope you are up and around soon. What a nice offer to help with meals! Ask the person who asked you if you would like meals delivered, "Thank you so much, how does this (meals) work?" and let them tell you what to expect. If you have food allergies or major dislikes, please let that person know so people don't plan something you can't eat. In the past, we have been the beneficiary of meals and have also brought meals to families in need. Food was always dropped off, no one planned to stay. I guess if you need help, someone might be able to stay to help you. We were grateful for whatever was dropped off. There is a computer app that you can get for this type of meal donation to help you coordinate deliveries. The "administrator" would mark a calendar with the nights food was needed and send an email to people who volunteer to participate. Then they can go to the site, select a night and sign up. They can also see any food allergies. They can post what they are bringing, so others can see what has been provided so they don't over duplicate.

You might let the person in charge of assigning meals know if you family has any allergies so there is a heads up for anyone volunteering to bring food to you.

Around here, when we do meals for someone, we will ask if there is any particular foods they do not care for and/or allergic to. We also ask what are some favorite foods as well so that we can hopefully please the whole family's taste buds.

Typically, the person bringing the food will let the receiver know when they will be there to drop off food. We typically drop off the meal and then leave shortly after because if someone is sick and not well, they do not need to feel pressure to entertain a visitor. I prefer to use dishes that do not have to be returned so I do not lose any of my good casserole dishes, etc. Sometimes, even with a name on the dish, it gets misplaced and you never get it back.

The only time I received any meals was when I came home from the hospital with our new baby daughter. My husband was a great help because like me, he is OCD about returning dishes promptly and clean... sometimes with a little goodie in one of the dishes as a thank you along with a thank you note.

When I prepare a meal for someone, I like to prepare something that can be frozen if needed. I make a great homemade marinara sauce so a lot of my go to dishes include my sauce with some sort of pasta or homemade stuffed shells or manicotti. I have a homemade chicken pot pie that is very good and when I make this, I make 2... one for my dinner and one for the other person. Other things I have taken were homemade beef stew, pot roast. I include a salad, bread and small dessert as well.

Many supermarkets have ready made meals to go and some people go that route or go to a nice take out for someone. I personally prefer to cook myself because I enjoy it.

The meals we have planned have all been done through our neighborhood and our block or closer friends. I have not participated in organized meals from a church but I am sure they have a pretty good organization system.

I hope you have a quick recovery and feel better soon.

They don't stay. They just drop off.
Generally, it's items that can be frozen & used for a different night, although, it can be something specifically to be eaten that night such as
lasagna, shepherd's pie, spaghetti, tacos, rotisserie chicken w/a side etc.
One doesn't specify what they would like, they just accept the free pre-made meal.
The only thing you should be able to stipulate is food allergies.
Also, in my experience, people rarely make weird things.
It's out of the graciousness of their hearts that they want to help someone who has a family, going throught an illness/medical procedure so they
don't have to worry about cooking for their family.
Just accept whatever is dropped off (they normally don't stay & hang out,
it's for you to eat not them), say thank you & be grateful.
How nice of your church.
Hope you feel better soon!

ooh honey!! I've been watching on facebook and praying for you!! I wish we lived closer!!

When I was on bed-rest - our church made a sign up sheet for us. The people signed up and sent my husband messages to find out what we liked, etc.

Since I was on bed rest - people dropped it off - made sure a plate was made for me - brought it to me with napkin, utensils, and bed table - and left. My husband took care of the rest when he got home....

You can tell the people that are orchestrating this for you what your preferences or allergies are. And when they drop it off?? YOU decide if you are up for company. This is ALL about you. Some people will WANT to pamper you, care for you - since you care and do so much for others, they want to "pay you back"....it's OKAY to tell them how you are feeling and if you are up for company or not.

As you know, my mom died a year ago Thursday. The week she was in the hospital - my parents neighbors ensured that my dad's mom was taken care of during the day and that a meal was ready for my dad when he got home...when we brought her home from the hospital? oh my word...people were funneling in to see what they could do. We have one point of contact and each neighbor took a different day. They came over for us during the day - and every night - there was a fresh meal for us. It was awe-inspiring the love and generosity that was shown.

Ask for a point of contact. Let them know your preferences and any food allergies. then when they drop off? it's UP TO YOU!!! Babe!!

I truly hope you are better soon!! Prayers!

People usually tell the person organizing what allergies, etc. they have. The coordinator then lets people preparing the meals know.

We've typically dropped off, wished well, & left, unless invited in. Same has happened when meals were brought to us.

Some people have gotten store-bought (rotisserie chicken, etc.) & other have done home made (wonderful chunky chicken noodle soup!!).

We didn't have allergies, & although I don't like "weird" food, we have always been grateful & enjoyed whatever was brought for us.

When we have prepared meals, we also take into consideration ages of any kids, & tailor meals to what they like, or add kid-friendly foods to what we bring for the adults.

Also, since you are so incapacitated, you might want to consider asking for packaged meals that you can heat in the microwave @ your convenience. That way, they can drop off anytime, maybe load into your fridge/freezer for you, & you can pull out for lunches & dinner as needed, or to coordinate with the times your hubby is home.

Prayers for a speedy recovery! T.

There's no set rule. The thing is, if this is going to be a service to you and not a nightmare to coordinate, then they have to work with you! We've done meal chains several times in my neighborhood, and we always work so that the person in need has to do practically nothing. It's perfectly fine for you to call the church (or have your husband do it - surely if you are so sick, he can take 20 minutes off of his 16 hour days and help out!).

We've used a free website called Lotsa Helping Hands many times. It's very easy to manage. You would appoint ONE person (perhaps the church person or a good friend) to coordinate. People can join the website only with that coordinator's permission. The person in need sets the schedule, lists preferences/allergies/aversions, determines when food is delivered and where (we've often put a cooler on the porch or breezeway or by the garage so you don't have to open the door), etc. We specified disposal containers so no one had to wash/return, and you can specify if you want foil pans for the oven or non-metal so they are microwaveable. You set a delivery time (we always picked something like "between 4:30 and 5:30" and indicated the location of the cooler. You can list preferences ("chicken, pork, no beef" or "no nuts, no dairy"), whatever you want. It doesn't have to be an allergy - it can just be what you prefer.

People signed up for the days they wanted, and they listed what they were bringing. That way, the next person could see that lasagna was coming on Wednesday so they wouldn't duplicate that for Friday. You can also specify kids' meals if you want to. And you can list the take-out restaurants you like so someone who doesn't cook can still order you a meal for delivery.

We also used Lotsa Helping Hands for chores like laundry and errands, carpooling and homework help, yard work and so on. It's pretty versatile and the tech support is very helpful and not overly techie at all!

If they don't use the website, you can still list the preferences with the coordinator and let her work it out with people. It does NOT help you if people just bring whatever they feel like. I'd take advantage of the offer and extend it. If you think you really need help for a week, then sign up for 3! Really! You will be way behind from being laid up and it will be a nice treat to have dinner prepared for you even if you could manage to drag yourself to the kitchen. DO let people help - just get rid of the scheduling and organizing and put that on someone else's shoulders.

I think it's okay to say you want food dropped off and you don't want people to visit/stay. The church may ask you if you want someone to stay, as there are often people who really need the company. But if you aren't up for it, then say NO! The point is for them to help you, not for you to have to extend yourself when you feel lousy.

Feel better - I hope this isn't too serious and that you will be back on your feet soon.

You let the coordinator know your (and your family's) dietary needs, likes, dislikes, etc. and what time to bring food over and where to leave it. Then leave a cooler somewhere that's easy to find and the person bringing the meal can leave it there without having to disturb you, chit-chat, etc. The person coordinating should be able to take care of the details for you.

I am part of a group in my community (neighbor brigade) that delivers meals to families going though crisis and the above is how we handle it. We have a website with a calendar, a single coordinator interacts with family and figures out what they want/need (e.g. kid-friendly food, no dairy, low-fat, no spices, sauces on the side, favorites, etc.) and then we just sign up for a night and drop off in the cooler during the window of time specified.

Hope you get the help you need and are well again soon!

I was put on bed rest at 6 weeks for the remainder of my pregnancy. We were members of a great church and our Sunday school class was close knit. I received food for the next 7 months. Because our family was small, I asked for every other day only. I knew because I had provided meals to others that normally the portions were large. Sometimes the individual would contact me and see what we liked or if there was anything I was hungry for. Most times these wonderful ladies would bring our food, chat for 5-10 mins and be on their way. They also helped with transporting my step daughter to her dance lessons and church when my husband was working out of town. I was humbled by their love and help. I NEVER asked for help and had always been the one to take meals to people. It was a growing time in my life. I did my best to send thank you notes promptly.

Be blessed by your church family. Know that as believers we are happy to help our family in time of need. I hope you are better soon.

Blessings!
L.

In our Sunday School, the likes and dislikes are usually mentioned. Usually, they just drop the food off and leave, unless other arrangements have been made.

A couple of months after we made a major move cross-country, I was very ill with pneumonia.... (two different episodes within 2 weeks) .... my neighbor and her Bible-study group adopted us... they brought meals for several days.... it was such a WONDERFUL gesture! I was exhausted and trying to care for 4 kids, including an 8 month old baby. They made large quantities so we had leftovers, also. My neighbor also watched my son during the day a couple of the times so I could rest more. (The kids were in school.) Hubby was working standard 8-5 hours so he could take care of things in the evening and the weekend.

We were very blessed to have such a great neighbor!

ETA: Sorry, forgot to add that our church uses Sign Up Genius for all of our events. It really does make life easier for all involved!

We've never stayed. We've dropped off only. In one case, the family had a cooler outside their front door so no animals or insects could get into the food.

No one is expecting you to be up for company.

I'm really sorry you are sick. I'm so glad that you have people who want to help you and can help you.

Have you been checked for Fibromyalgia? I know two people with it and the pain is excruciating.

Ask if they can use a website like one of these:
Take Them a Meal
Meal Train
Sign Up Genius

One of the first two might be best. You can list food allergies, dietary restrictions, directions to your house, convenient times for food to be dropped off, etc. The websites have calendars with spots to sign up for. Everyone invited to the calendar can see which spots are open. People can also list what they are bringing so that you don't end up with five people in a row bringing lasagna! They bring the food all ready to eat so that the most you have to do is reheat it.

When I have delivered food to people I might stay for a couple of minutes just to visit, but I never expect an invitation to stay and eat. If an invitation was extended I don't know if I would except it. It would depend a lot on how close I was to the person and what exactly the health situation was. I might offer to help get the food on the table, but I don't know if I would stay to eat.

One time when one of my co-workers had surgery she didn't feel up to having people in and out of her house. We would bring the meal to work and our office administrator would take the meal and drop it off. You could ask for something like that to be done if you don't feel up to having visitors.

Hope you are feeling well soon.

In our ward when someone needs food brought in the person organizing it always lets us know if there are allergies we need to be aware of. They assign the days/meals then that person volunteering usually just drops it off.

IF you're contagious or your immune system is at risk they shouldn't even come in. I've dropped off food on their porch before because I had sick kids at home and didn't want to take a chance on passing anything on.

If a person calls you and says "Hey!!! I get to bring you guys some food tonight, what are you in the mood for". That's hard. If they're cooking they may not have the food or the skills to make what you'd eat. They may also plan on buying take out and bringing it to you.

The last time I took food in I forgot about the kids and took Chinese food for hubby and wife...I completely forgot the had a couple of toddlers. I imagine they shared but still, I'd have liked to bought more food.

So ask, if you're asked what you want, ask them to give you some choices. You can say "Gosh, I don't know. It's so nice of you to call me and ask! What do you like to cook?". Then they should say "Well, I'm cooking XXXX for dinner tonight, how does that sound?" or they might say "We're doing Pizza Hut tonight, want a couple of pizza's from there?"

This isn't hard. Even if you can't stand the meal and it's gross and in the trash within moments of you unwrapping it please never tell them it wasn't to your liking. You can always find some thing to say about it.

Like "that was the most interesting thing I've ever seen done with chicken!"...lol.

There are no rules. I suggest that you call back the person who called and ask. I've experienced people just bringing food with no specific person in charge as well as the more organized way in which someone coordinates the food and delivery. In the first instance the person bringing the food may or may not call to find out preferences.

When did they ask? Perhaps a coordinator will call you to ask for more information. If no one does it's ok to call and ask about the plan.

I don't know the answer to your question but I hope you feel better soon.

I am so glad people are helping!! But I'm also confused that people want to stay and eat with you. I don't get that. We had a sitter once that wanted to hang out in my room when I was horribly sick with strep...I couldn't talk enough to tell her to get out - it was awful.

I would never assume people like what I am making, I would text, email, whatever to make sure the food I was planning on was good. Or even ask if they had a specific meal in mind they would like.

My mom often does a rotisserie chicke from the grocery store and will make a starch side and a vegetable, plus a bread and dessert. I think this is a safe way to go, so good - but you don't want everyone bringing it.

I am like Cheryl and have been following you on FB. I wish we were closer so I could help as well. I've been praying for you!

First, I am sorry that you are sick. Secondly, I am so glad that you are a member of such a 'real' church!

ETA: I meant this as a compliment that her church is actually concerned about their membership--benevolence. How is that rude Veruca (and her flower bearers)?

Her church sounds as if it has a 'real' meaning of congregation.

Now, to answer your question: Be very careful about sounding like a choosy beggar. Yes, ask the questions, but let your tone be very easy.

If you have allergies tell the coordinator immediately, but do not say I do not like ..."rice"--unless specifically asked....