Kid with Very Strong Perfume in Preschool

I can't believe people are suggesting it is a cover up for not bathing:) Anyways, I had a child in my class who was very clean and his mom just liked to have him wear cologne. I was horribly allergic and simply asked her not to have him wear it, or to put less on so I wouldn't react to it. She was very happy to comply. I was very nice about it and so was she:)

Speak to the principal or director. It IS a health concern with so many students, teachers, volunteers, etc. being diagnosed with allergies. The teacher may not be able to do anything about it but an administrator can. I also feel for that poor little boy! I wouldn't want anything to stand between my children and friends.

If the teacher won't do anything what about the director at the pre-school? If he/she still won't ask nicely then I would take it upon myself to do so...some people are highly allergic and I myself get headaches very easily from perfume/cologne that has a strong scent to it and it always irritates me when I'm around someone in public that smells like they poured the entire bottle all over them-ugh! Those type of headaches normally turn into migraines for me which isn't fun by any means! Especially if someone suffers from asthma....the school wouldn't comply or DO anything about it if it sent one of the kids or parents into an asthma attack? That is a serious thing and preventable just by saying something very nicely to the parent............sounds like the teacher just doesn't want to do it. I would do it myself.....

A teacher who can't do nothing isn't much of a teacher.
Both grammatically and in terms of establishing rules in her classroom.

Does the preschool have a director?
Even if the teacher isn't aware of allergies and other sensitivities --
or double negatives, for that matter --
the director can be approached, not with a complaint,
but with a concerned report about how your daughter
and others and YOU!! are having allergic and other respiratory symptoms.

That this child needs to be told not to wear this product any more.
Not that he has done something wrong,
but that many (21st century, enlightened) organizations
make rules for their participants so as to ensure the comfort of all.

Don't speak to the kid's mom.
Go directly to the director or administrator of the school.
Good luck.

Yes the teacher can do something about it..My daughter is also in preschool yesterday the montly news letter came out & was handed to us as we drop off our kids there was an article in there this is done by the (director of the preschool) he added that choldrenshould come to school with no personal possesions no gum or candy or other foods should be in their mouths also kids should not come to school with cologne/perfume & should be clean odor free..It is annoying to have someone next to yiou that stinks as in no bath for days,a smkoers home,heavy perfume/cologne it not only causes headachers but flare ups of respitory included asthma attacks.I'm not saying you can't wear it I do I wear lotions body sprays but make sure it's not over powering to others.
No you shouldn't approach the parent of this child it is the teachers classroom it should be handled in a different approach perhaps the monthly newsletter it always helps & that way no 1 person feels they are being attacked

the teacher absolutely CAN do something - she/he can tell the parents not to send their kids to school with strong fragrances! and the teacher can let that mom know that the smell is bothering volunteers and other kids. that is completely reasonable. maybe call some other preschools and get their policies on such things to use as comparisons.

good luck!

Hi K.,
When I worked in a special needs preschool, the Director of our Bridges Program wore an excessive amount of VERY strong perfume (can you imagine?). I had to work next to her in a tiny 10 x10 room, as well as DOZENS of children with SPD, Autism, Asperger's, etc. No one said ANYTHING to her as she was the daughter of our Director. One of the MANY reasons I don't work there anymore!

Anyway, there are in fact MANY things your teacher can do. I guess if I were her the first thing I'd do is in the weekly or monthly newsletter to parents I would include a paragraph about it in a generic way of course, maybe pull a study off the internet about how strong scents effect children's learning, allergies, asthma, SPD, etc....perhaps she's already done this and gotten no response.

I think maybe what happens is the offending child maybe getting ready for school while Dad's getting ready for work, maybe Dad splashes some on himself, some on his son! Just like Daddy! Everyone in the family is so used to the scent they likely don't realize how strong it smells to everyone else.

I think if you very humbly and apologetically approach his mom privately....I say that because if another mom approached ME in that way, I would probably be grateful....although I guess being defensive is a natural reaction...

Yeah, you can approach an administrator in the same manner. That's probably the safest route.

Good Luck, I feel for you (and all the kids in the class)!

Maybe if you talk to the parents of the other children that are having issues with it. Children's parents are confronted if their child stinks. This is also obviously an offensive smell to others and is causing disruption. Maybe if you confront the teacher with more parents by your side and say, "you know, how is this different from a child with any other offensive odor? And how is this any different from a child wearing clothing that is offensive or disruptive?" Because he stinks and his attire is an offensive disruption. Find someone in the class who has athesma(spelling?) and use that too lol

Our preschool had "rules" like a handbook........they even put in there no makeup or perfume........you might want to see if they have a handbook of some kind.

You might ask the teacher if she could simply put out a notice to all parents that some of the children in the class have allergy problems to strong perfumes or other strong smells, so would they please refrian from using anything on their child that has a strong odor.
I served on Jury about a year ago, and the man who was seated next to me wore something that smelled so strong that I started sneezing almost the minute he sat down. I talked with the bailiff during the break (which thankfully was about ten minutes after the man was seated next to me), and when we came back into the courtroom, the bailiff made a general announcement. That solved the problem. It might work for your child's class too.
Preschools tell parents all the time not to bring peanut butter because of the high incidence of allergic reactions, so I don't see any reason why they couldn't deal with any other allergy causing substance.

There is something the teacher can do and that's just simply speak with the parents. Maybe she don't think that it's an issue. What about the children with allergies and asthma? I would talk to whomever is in charge to address the issue. The boy's parents could be putting cologne on their child. It happens, but I would address it with someone else.

Definitely talk to the director/owner. They should absolutely do something about it. If all else fails, does he bring a backpack or something to school? Perhaps you can leave a note in his backpack for his mom. If he doesn't, I used to send notes to other parents through my daughter's preschool. They would be sealed, and the school would simply pass it along.

Actually you can go to the school that is a valid issue. Myself it would be me in the hospital as sensitive to strong smells. I'm sure the teacher can talk to the parent. Think about it this way what if the child is not being bathed and thats being used as a cover up?

Put a flyer in everyone's mailbox asking to limit the use of colognes etc. due to allergies. My OBGYN's office will send you home if you show up wearing anything scented including lotion and deoderant because 2 staff members are very allergic.
This way - no one will copy Old Spice Boy and no one will be offended or feel singled out. it could be a cultural thing, so tread softly...

I don't know if you can easily and appropriately do anything. There's someone in my office who wears strong cologne. They actually got an opening window in the office he shares. No other offices have this.
It seemed odd that on one has been able to tell him, but that's how it's gone so far.
With children, it's a little more of a problem.

Um... I think, the Teacher can talk to the Parent. Why not? That is her job.
She is just giving you excuses.

The thing is... you and the other kids are getting coughing from it... and others can be allergic to it.
So that is a concern... which should be brought up to the Parents.
After all... if it was peanuts... it would not be allowed.
For some people, strong scents can really make them sick.
AND your Daughter gets a HEADACHE.... from it.

So, I would think... that this is a topic... that the Teacher CAN talk to the parents about.... because it is causing problems.... health problems....

And besides... why should "you" have to be the one... to handle a classroom problem with a child? I think, this situation, is the Teacher's job... to handle.

I would, document everything, about this boy/cologne & how it is affecting you/the other kids/ your daughter getting headaches... and write a letter or something, to the Teacher or Principal.

all the best,
Susan

K., with so many allergies, and asthama, that people have generally there is a tactful way that the Teacher and School Director can address this. I hope that you will talk to them and let them have a try first then talk to the parent.
We know of a child that has such bad body odor he used a lot of cologne.
Good Luck, and I am sure you are not the only parent to have talked to the Director about this.

I would take the mom aside and ask her if her son puts his cologne on in the mornings? If she says yes ask her if he could please not put so much on as some of the children are allergic to his cologne and if she says no she does, ask her if she could please use a little less as some of the children are having a reaction to it. Then thank her. Its easy.

N. Marie

Hi Momma-
It's so funny that you posted this because on Monday I read an article that says you should only wear enough perfume or cologne so that people notice you have a fragrance but have to lean in to really smell you. They shouldn't be able to bathe in it next to you. =)
Maybe ask the little boy's parents in a nice way, like saying,
Your son, ___________, is such a sweet boy and smells really nice. However, there are some kids in the class that are very sensitive to his cologne. Would it be possible to limit how much he wears? If they want to know how much, a dot behind each ear is more than plenty.
Tell her you don't want to offend him or them, and you appreciate him having such great hygiene habits and appreciate them for teaching him how to take such great care of himself.
One of the other things is that he may want to smell just like his dad, or get ready just like his dad does, and that might include a little cologne. If he could wear less of it (because he is much smaller), that would really be of great help. Also offer up that if you or your daughter has too much on one day, please don't hesitate to let you know.
You have to make it about the good of the whole and not make the parents or child feel like you are coming down on them.
Does that help? I know sometimes my co-workers get a little perfume heavy and I have to limit my contact with them on those days. I just tell them I am sensitive to smells and that it kicks my allergies up a notch. =)
-E. M

put a note in the parents box explaining the childrens allergies in the class and we ask that noone come into school with overwhelming perfume or cologne. I understand the boy wanting to use cologne because I have a 6 year old who loves to copy his older brother but I help him put it on and let him know it is only for special days, like picture day. lol

I would agree with just approaching the mom directly and in a very nice way explain that you and others (including the kids) are very sensitive to any kind of perfumes (because ton of people are) and you've noticed her little boy seems to have some kind of cologne on and unfortunately it's making it difficult for those around him. There is no reason for a kid that age to be wearing that kind of stuff any way but you don't want to put the mom on the defensive. I can't promise it still won't create a conflict but it's your health and comfort that is at stake, and your child's, and that needs to be more important.

I wouldn't talk to the mom, I would go above the teacher. If it's affecting all of the other kids, someone needs to say something to the mom and I think it should come from the school.