Jff ... Dam Mad

The real anger for me isn't over words, but the griping when they have to do it. I wouldn't let it stop me though.

Amen! This reminds me of when my first one was a baby. My female boss was picking me up for committee work and complimented my husband for being such a willing babysitter. He looked at her hesitantly, then respectfully suggested to her that she would be insulting a Mom if she said the same thing to her. We all had a good laugh, but I never forgot it. I was so proud of him. That was in 1976! We're still happily together.

It shouldn't be- but for some dads it is. I think it depends how comfortable they are around their kids as well as other factors. However, as another poster mentioned, I'm sick and tired of how others treat him when he's out with both kids by himself. Every time he takes them out, anywhere, which only happens about twice a month, he gets ladies admiring him and praising him for being by himself at the store with the kids. Huh? No one EVER says anything to me about taking the kids out by MYself, and I do it several times a day, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month!

We dont say babysit, we say watch. Can you watch the kids Saturday while I work? That bugs me too. Almost as much as people fawning all over a man that has his kids in tow. He's not super dad, he's just a dad. Nobody pats me on the head for taking my kids to the park!

nope. not in our home. my husband doesn't see his role as babysitting.

Heck when I'm gone the boys get excited!! Especially if I leave for the weekend!! They get to sleep on the couch!! They get to play games with Daddy that I normally don't play with them!! YAHOO!!!

Friday night is "boys night in" at our home! TOTALLY hilarious!! They get excited Thursday night talking about what they are going to do Friday!!

I admire how great my husband is with our children. He truly enjoys and cherishes his time with them.

He does work out of town 5 days a week - maybe this is why? All I know is he loves them and is great at showing them.

I think women do their partners, themselves, and their child a great disservice when they treat the father as a babysitter. I know it would infuriate my husband. He is a dad and a great one, and wants more credit then being treated like a glorified babysitter. Some men, are just fine with the arrangement. That's very sad for the children. I really can't understand the women who want to be everything, to the exclusion of the father. It's not good for anyone.

I've never really thought about it. We don't use the term babysit. Not with each other or other people who happen to be caring for the children. It is you are going to go to grandma's for a little bit while we paint the living room or Karen is going to be with you tonight while we go bowling.

My husband doesn't consider it babysitting when I am not home and I certainly don't think of it as babysitting when he isn't home. It is parenting /raising/caring for our daughters.

No way. It's equal, as I sit here on bedrest. Dad is in charge of DS. We share parenting equally. 100% Dad and 100% Mom. I can recall a time, however, when I would leave to go to the grocery store and he would call me AS I WAS PULLING INTO THE PARKING LOT asking me "What's TAKING YOU SO LONG!?"

That was a hell of a time. I could never be a single mom. God Bless DH for coming around and being such a great dad.

God forbid he has to watch the baby (she's 14 months old)... or even our older one (he's 4). It's always, I have stuff to do, I was going to run out... blah, blah, blah. I look at myself as a single parent (even though I'm not, but I do the work as if I were one). Luckily I have family who will help, so I always make arrangements for someone to watch the kids. AND because my husband can't seem to get anyone ready for bed (even if I ask, I can still come home and find everyone up) and one time before my daughter was home, I came home to find my husband asleep on the couch (in the afternoon) when he was supposed to be sitting up and watching the boy. I commend the dads who are not lazy.

Or "Mr. Mom" - I can't let that one go uncorrected. "In our house, it's Dad."
(do you hear that, FIL?)

Oh, or "Daddy Daycare". Really? Is it "Mommy Daycare" the rest of the week?

In our house, neither of us is a babysitter, we're parents! :D

Nope. We share our childcare responsibilities... took two of us to bring them into the world and it takes two of us to keep them here safely and happily!

Ugh this is such a peeve of mine! My husband will sometimes get pissy when I inform or remind him of my plans. He'll say "great so I'm stuck home baby-sitting the kids while you're out again." He knows it irritates me so I don't call him out on that anymore.

I know it's not supposed to be babysitting, but they act like it is and that they have a choice.

I raised by daughter solo, so I have no personal experience with this, but I do see even with my own grandchildren that the mothers are expected to be the primary caretaker and the mother literally asks the dad to watch the kids and the dad actually feels like he can say no. Then the responsibility is back to mom to either take them with her or to find a "babysitter."

I personally don't consider it babysitting; like others have said, it's parenting, but I see a lot of young, and I do stipulate YOUNG, men who think they have a choice.

Nope! Cause you PAY a babysitter! Hubby is really good about being with our son when I need to get out though, no complaints, and I dont when I am with our son the rest of the time. We share the responsibilities. Because that's the way we want it.

I laugh at this too!

~No, in our house Dad does not 'babysit'...when he needs to be the only one responsible for their care he is just being 'Dad'!

My husband said it one time... I looked at him and said Oh here I thought you were his dad? He looked confussed and said I am... I told him its not babysitting when your their parent and if that's the case then I babysit 24/7 and last I knew I wasn't sitting on any kids or getting a pay check from it either ( he said it on a day I was cranky lol) that was the last time he said it and now will correct his friends if they say it lol

that "phrase" drives me nuts!! and one of my biggest pet peeves!

This drives me insane. I make sure whenever I say my husband is watching the kids that he is WATCHING the kids not babysitting. Last I checked he contributed to this result (meaning kids) so they are his responsibility just as much as they are yours as a mother. My sister gets this from her significant other too and I sends me fuming.

i think it's ridiculous. my husband and i have always raised our kids together. he was changing diapers and taking care of the boys on his own from day one. it's utter nonsense in this day and age for anyone to think that child-rearing and care is up to the mother, with dad 'helping out.'
khairete
S.

not in a million years do i even entertain the thought that it might some day have a chance in H*** of being "equal" - hehehe. but yes, i have finally gotten my husband to pick up our son from school three nights per week so that i can work overtime. and no, he doesn't call it "babysitting" (that i've heard! lol) actually he is doing really great at stepping up and i'm happy i pushed it.

thats a pet peeve of mine too=) IDK why I'm sure there are a lot worse things I should be annoyed by instead of this! I knew a couple of people that referred to it as that and I would say its not babysitting if they're your kids. Heck I don't even ask my boyfriend to "babysit" i ask if hes available to watch Em if i have some sort of appointment.

My husband also is quite verbal about the term babysitting when it comes to Dad's. We both happen to work, but if I need to run out for a few hours, I'll just ask him if there is any reason it would be difficult for me to leave. Of course our youngest is 10, so it isn't all that big of a deal to leave him with DH.

My husband would be sooooo angry if I asked him to babysit the kids while I ran out. (And vice versa!)

What we ask each other is "Hey babe, I'm running out (or whatever). Can you keep both eyes on the kids?" Why? Because we each keep half an eye out on the kids while we're both at home so we can keep the other eye on whatever it is we're doing.

Babysitting, no. Parenting, yes.

Nope. We worked opposite shifts when DS was really little so I know my husband is more than a babysitter! He knows it too!

My husband called it babysitting once. Really? I gave him "the look" and asked him "really??".He didn't call it that again, but does sometimes act like he is off duty once I get home from work. He gets mad sometimes because I will pass the baby back to him so I can cook supper or take care of something else.
When our oldest were little, it was always 3 to 1 because we worked opposite shifts. He always got how hard it was to take care of 3 babies. But I got the bit about giving him a break because he sits with the kids all day.

Guess I don't read into the literal meaning too much. We are both parents and sometimes we need a break from the rest of the family. He parents when I do and I parent when he does.

But we don't call it "babysitting" but we don't go out of our way to NOT call it "babysitting". Does that make sense?

Uh no, we never call it babysitting when dad watches the kids. We are BOTH parents and we BOTH act like it. We are both responsible for our family, our home, our yard, the laundry etc... We both take care of all of those things. I.m SHOCKED to read how many women have husbands who pitch a fit when they have to watch the kids. SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought we were past that in this day and age. Reading these responses just makes me even more grateful that I married someone who is a true partner in every way!

My DH doesn't call it babysitting BUT he always acts like I "owe" him something for the few times that he watches the kids. It burns me up!!!!