Is It Safe for My 13 Year Old Son to Have a Computer in His Room?

probably not very smart. You are inviting trouble in my opinion. a 13 year old boy cannot monitor themselves, that is a parents job.

I say no, for two reasons:

1) 13 isn't quite old enough to use good judgement in all that he might come across. Remember that you have to not only trust him, but everyone and every site that he might get to, be it intentional or not. You still need to know what he is seeing and doing.

2) That's the age when they isolate themselves enough anyway. Giving him more reasons to hide from you, the family, etc won't be helpful.

Among my regrets in my parenting decisions is letting my young teenagers have TV in their rooms. Internet was only an issue for the younger one (it wasn't around yet for the older). Even with good and careful monitoring this good kid still found things he wishes now he hadn't.

No. Computer use should be in an open area like the kitchen or family room.

No - a 13 year old does not have the discretion or self-discipline to have free access to the Internet. I would say this is extremely unwise - and I don't think it matters how "mature" the kid is, either.

My general rule of thumb is that if it wouldn't be safe for my daughter (and it would be absolutely no for her because of online predators) then I won't allow my son to do it either. It's our job as parents to protect our kids (and too often that means from themselves.)

No. It's not smart, either.

it depends on how well you lock down the computer, but I would generally say no, there's no reason he needs access to the internet in his room.

No. Plus, in his room where he has unlimited access at all hours, it also has high potential to be a distraction that could keep him from focusing on homework, from interacting with the family, and/or from getting enough sleep at night.

hi welcome to mamapedia. For your first question, I vote, no, all the experts say to keep the computer in an area of the house were everyone can have access and there can be no sneaking.

We don't allow it for our 14yo son.

We have our dd's computer at the desk built into the kitchen cabinets. Everything is visible, plus I usually check the "history" to see where she's been on it.

If you have the computer in his room, I would check on putting some filters on it.

No computers or tvs in my kids' rooms. period.

If you can check up on his usage of it. Where he goes, who he chats with. If he can follow the rules of not being on past a certain time and have parental controls on which sites he can go to, it may be safe. I let my son have it in his room and he was like 14. One rule was not after 10pm and when I went in at 11 he was still on it. He lost it and didn't get it back. They get into less trouble if they are in a more public place in the house though.

Hi S.,

I agree with the majority of posters that it is not safe. In addition, I have another reason--sleep. Teenagers need sleep just as much as babies and toddlers do and rarely get enough of it because of schoolwork, hanging out with friends, sports practice, etc. Computers and TVs in their rooms are one more thing that interfere with their sleep. In addition to being a distraction that keeps them up late the computer produces a specific kind of light which interferes with the ability to get to sleep and stay asleep even long after the computer is turned off. Our boys are almost 13 and just turned 16 and my husband and I have decided that they will not have their own computers and TVs in their rooms as long as they are living under our roof (for a variety of reasons).

Well, ok, I'll bite. Yes all three of my kids had a laptop of their own in their rooms with complete internet access at 13. They are now 20, 18, 15. The two elders are college students with large academic scholarships. The third is a sophomore in HS with a 96 average and poised for med school.

I suppose if I'd seen reason to think they'd be stupid with the computer, I would've have let them.

So I'd say it's one of a zillion "at your own discretion" kind of parenting call.

Or perhaps I just got lucky 3 times?

:)

Simple answer... NO!

I am in the Information Technology field and my husband does some computer repair as a side job. We are a family that is VERY into computers and technology. Our 4 year old daughter is more comfortable with a computer than many of the adults we know. All that being said... We would NEVER let our child have a computer in her room. No matter how old your child is, no matter how much you trust your child, no matter how bright you think they are... having a computer in their bedroom is NOT a good idea.

I have two boys and they are adorable and wonderful (still young), but I will NEVER let them have a computer in their room full time. Too distracting (affecting sleep etc) and too many opportunities for them to find and do things that are not appropriate for them.

My Aunt had two sons and she kept the computer in the family room, next to the kitchen. They chatted, played games, but she monitored what they did and they didn't mind.

Kids are going to try to do things you don't want them to do. I did. A young relative sent naked photos of herself to older men and she was 13 (was eventually sent off to boot camp which luckily worked). Don't do it.