In Laws ? Did I Do the Wrong Thing??

Good grief, with all the non-responses you have gotten, I would book the hotel where I wanted to go and leave it at that. I wouldn't think twice about it and I wouldn't discuss it - that ship has sailed by them not responding to you over and over. If they say something, tell them you tried to tell them, but they don't answer or respond to you. That would get real old for me real quick!

oh, heavens! even without the financial considerations i'd have stuck to my original plans. the best family vacations are the ones where it's assumed everyone will do their own thing and get together periodically.
i'd go batso nutso if i were expected to glom onto either my in-laws or my own brothers 24/7.
khairete
S.

It's YOUR vacation. Book where YOU want to stay.

Yes, it's a family get together to celebrate a birthday - GREAT!! it would be great if you could all stay in the same place - but really - you've done your research and your choice is hotel A...stick to your guns!!!

HAVE A BLAST!!!

I'd book where I'd want to stay, and let them book where they want to stay. It's their first time, if there is a next time, they might or might not like your choice later.

Just stick to hotel A.
That is where you had it in the first place.

They were presumptive to just book hotel B, without telling you prior or getting your or your Husband's approval, first.
That is rude, right?
So they are not being thoughtful, plus they dont' even bother responding back to you/your e-mails/phone calls.

They had, NO business.... booking you... in Hotel B... at all.
Why try and please them, now?
Just stick to YOUR and your own nuclear family's plans... for Hotel A. And your own plans that you had... PRIOR to what they said.

You ALREADY e-mailed them/left a phone message to them... and explained your booking Hotel A.
So that is that.
Dust off your hands.
Hands off.
You did the courtesy call and e-mail to them, explaining you/your family will be at Hotel A.
Fine.
That is your and your family's right... to stay at Hotel A.

I am with you. My in-laws have made me do some ridiculous things - including a 9 hr trip to a beach house shared by about 13 people and they wanted me to share one room with my husband, 4 years old, 2 year old and 3 week old! After some lobbying I got us two rooms, but it took all my energy to just be polite about it and go. Well I've learned from that...

Three adjoining rooms sounds like hell. They will deal. I think it's great you put yourself first - Moms don't do that enough.

Pick up the phone and call them and let them know you booked hotel B and how exciting it will be to have 2 different hotels to waterpark in! Emailing this kind of thing just makes the situation worse, when your tone can't be heard it is eaiser to assume the person is being nasty or something. Talk in person and excitedly plan the trip together!

When it comes to vacation. I would have done what you did. I do not want to be tied to the hip with anyone. I like my space and I want comfort for my family. You did the right thing. And what s with them not getting back to you...oh well is what I would be saying. Have a great time!

You did the right thing! They never should have made reservations on your behalf without asking first.

Are you sure they didn't cancel your reservations before you called hotel B? Maybe it was three rooms for three families, and after your e-mail, they canceled your room. It's a longshot of an explanation, but I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I agree that you or your husband should call both families and tell them that you will be staying at hotel A and that you are so excited to see them. It doesn't have to turn into a bigger issue than that. I'm sure you'll all have a great time!

I completely agree with not having two rooms for three families. That's a rather big presumption for them to make without calling.

Keep your reservations and let them know you are doing so, that way there can be no question that you won't be 'chipping in' on Hotel B.

I'd also try a telephone call and leave a message. Some people don't check their email daily. It's a more personal touch and if you leave the same message at both in-law's homes, no one can say you haven't been communicating. Better yet, if possible, have your husband pick up the phone and do it himself if it's his family.

having different hotels negates the whole purpose of this trip.

It's one thing to stand firm, & it's another to be inflexible.

This is all about your husband.....it should be what he wants, not what you feel you need.

This is the perfect opportunity to create shared memories....not to split hairs. They were gracious enough to book your room, to lock in that deal. I would bet they were super excited over adjoining rooms....

& as a head's up, we always stay "off-strip" at Branson. :)

I would have done exactly what you did. It is fine to get together with familyh, but it seems that this 2 rooms for 3 families is TOO much. You would have no way of getting away from them if needed. That is when family can become unbearable. My husband once insisted on something similar for a family vacation....thing 2-bedroom condo of about 1,000 sf with 6 adults....Seriously not enough space...it was pretty miserable.

They live in a different state. You go on this trip every year. I would make this about visiting with them and making memories for your husband and kids. I would have booked an extra room in Hotel B and sucked it up.

I second crunchymamma... you do this trip every year and who knows... maybe they're paying w/ points so it is cheaper for them. Bottom line - it's about family, not just your family. Suck it up, book at hotel B, BUT ask for a room down the hall or one floor away, etc. You don't have to be THAT close to them!

You should reconsider, they are already traveling and price is much more a consideration or them than you.
I guess you need to decide between family and hotel it really is that simple

I do get it though, really, I do. It never seems that family makes the same considerations for us. But at the end of the day it still comes down to what you value and what you are willing to do. You can not control others only yourself. The few times I put my foot down, came with petty consequences. I still get irrated from time to time, but now that we are so far from family I would do anything to spend time with them.

Two rooms for 3 families? I love my family but there's no way in heck I'd share a room with them for any length of time. I need my me time with my family.

Tricky. You can't involve your husband, because he doesn't know they are coming, right?
I think it was a bit (okay A LOT) presumptuous for them to book a room for YOU as well, without speaking to you about it. Particularly when it wasn't the place you TOLD them you were planning to stay.

I do think you should pick up the telephone and try to make "live" contact with them to see what is going on. Maybe they "booked all of our rooms" for just THEIR families, not including yours. ?

It really depends on your husband though, what to do if they did mean to have booked a room for your family as well. If he would "take their side" in something like this, then deal with it and book another room at hotel B, as close to their rooms as you can get. If he wouldn't give a second thought to any of that, but would be unhappy staying farther from the strip, then keep your own reservations at hotel A. Either way, you need to have live conversation with the other parties to let them know exactly what is going on so everyone knows who is staying where.

Family vacations can be great... but things like this always make me stress over them. Why can't people just communicate and not make decisions for everyone else? Ugh.
Sorry this is happening to your plans for a wonderful surprise for husband.. :/

ETA: my husband is a people pleaser, and would say to take a room at hotel B. I would be like you, and be miserable about it. Unfortunately, I sometimes wonder if that isn't why we sometimes find ourselves in such predicaments (me & hubby)... because they all KNOW he will sweep it under the rug and go along to get along, b/c he'd rather be with family than worry about "trivialities"... but me.. I like my comfort. He is learning though... he now will only stay at Hampton Inn when we travel, lol.

go to the hotel you planned. family get togethers are great but so is a break at the end of the day. you can hang with his family all day long but still take kids and go to your place at the end of the day. I have a family trip coming up in july to new york. the sister in law and father in law who are meeting us there are staying at the same hotel. she wanted to book the 2 rooms needed and split the cost 6 ways. I nixed that We will have 4 people in our room and splitting our room 4 ways comes to $589 per person (this includes air) they have 2 people in their room and is costing them $725 per person (this includes air) should we throw it all together for the 6 people then it would be almost $700 per person. I would not mind doing that except she has made it clear they are having the room to themselves not willing to let one of the kids bunk on the pull out couch in their room. Since we have 4 to our room it is cheaper per person. she also keeps saying things like we can go, we can do, when we ...... not everyone is single with big bucks lol

Oh they didn't have time to respond? Good because you do not have time to try to book hotel b...hahaha. oh well you have loads of fun with your family. Don't worry about that.

Why did they go ahead and book Hotel B without your agreement? If you're bothered about it, go back to hotel A where you feel comfortable and cancel your adjoining room with Hotel B. Tell your family that you are glad they were able to get the room but you prefer your original plan because of all the stuff you mentioned here.

They probably got the better deal because nobody wants to stay there, so it's cheap.

Could you re-state your question? It's not making a lot of sense.

Yes, I think so.
They did contact you about their hotel choice.
You changed yours without speaking to them personally, and there may be some circumstances you don't know about that will make your "switch" sticky for your family.
Who knows the reasons for their choice until you talk to them?
Maybe they plan to foot your family's share of the bill for your husband's birthday gift?
Maybe they know someone that works for that chain and got an unbelievable deal?
Maybe they have some other reason of which you're not aware.

Who knows?
I think you need to stay at their choice this time.

Also with a baby and a 4 year old--does a super big waterpark or not make any difference for them really? Make this trip about family.