Im Worried About a Vaginal Delivery

I think we all have fears - both irrational and not - about delivery of our babies. Especially the first time. I think the key is to feel comfortable with the process and understand how your body works. I HIGHLY suggest picking up a copy of "Ina Mays Guide to Childbirth" and reading it - it will really reassure you. As for the anurism fear, it sucks when doctors blow you off like that. Would it be helpful for you to talk to a neurologist or someone who can give you some more believable assurance that this is not a problem for you? You need to think to yourself: what could they tell me that would make me feel ok about this? If there's nothing they can say that would make you feel better, this is a fear you'll need to work through yourself or by talking to someone.

I can say, having had a c-section, that I would much prefer a v**inal delivery. With a c-section you're laid up for the better part of 2 weeks. It hurts to laugh. You can't pick up anything heavier than your baby. You can't drive. You really need some help at home. Your baby is more likely to have some respiratory problems. You're more likely to have trouble initiating breastfeeding. And you'll always wonder whether you could have done it by yourself if you never even got to try. Just remember - your body was MADE to deliver a baby and you need to have confidence in your ability to do it!

Personally, a c-section would be of more concern to me than a v**inal delivery. With a c-section you are more likely to have serious complications including bleeding problems, clotting problems, pain problems, healing problems, etc. In my opinion a c-section would be more likely to lead to a problem, although I too doubt the aneurism connection. Was your father doing something strenuous when he had his aneurism burst? Most often it is something that just happens, after years of weakening the blood vessels.

If you are worried about the pushing, remember that even if you never deliberatly push, your body will push the baby out on it's own. In fact, the way many doctors have your push (holding breath and counting to 10) actually causes problems for baby and mom (heartrate issues with baby, mom more likely to tear and have bladder problems) than pushing when you feel the urge. It also only shortens pushing by about 8 minutes. Talk to your doctor about not "purple pushing" as it's called. If you choose to have an epidural it may be harder to do as an epidural can take away your urge to push, but it is still possible.

Good luck and please consider that a c-section is MUCH MUCH harder on your circulatory system, blood vessels, and entire body than a v**inal delivery. A c-section causes your body to respond as though there is an injury, where a v**inal delivery is a "normal" event to the body.

Wanted to add that you also need to find a doctor who doesn't blow off your concerns. This is a very real and valid concern- your doctor should take the time to discuss it with you, do the research, and give you the information you need. Look for a new doctor or nurse-midwife.

Hi!
First off everyone has a different story to tell about v**inal delivery. I have 2 kids. The first, I got an epidural and everything was a piece of cake. Long piece of cake... (23+ hours) but worth it. My second child (both healthy normal kids btw) I got to the hospital and the epidural didnt have time to take so I did it drug free. It was not too much fun. The pain and pressure was unreal. I dont want to scare you but you need to know that you never know what you are up against. so if you want a c-section you go to your doc and tell them! You are the one that picked them they didnt pick you and you have the power to go elsewhere. Maybe I am more out spoken than some...probably so!

Good Luck!
C.

B.,
I feel your worry and I can relate on some level to say that I was TERRIFIED of labor the first time around and it took over my entire pregnancy - I was depressed, anxious, tempermental, etc. and I hated every minute of being pregnant because all I thought about was the labor I'd have to go through at the end. Sure enough it was hard work but I came through (alive) like we all do. I say that because I don't know enough about your father's genetic anurism but it does not sound like it could be related to labor and birth. You push, holding your breath not your whole head. Also, if you are afraid you could certainly go the route of using meds (epidural) in a higher dose to numb the pain and then just push when they tell you. It's scary, I know, but it really will be okay. C sections are not a dream come true. They are dangerous and no one should voluntarily choose one unless theirs or the baby's life in danger. Understandable, it is sometimes necessary but otherwise opt for a more natural, v**inal delivery. You'll see when its all over that it was a good choice. Also, if you are worried about the pressure from labor and pushing, another idea you may want to seriously consider which I did with my 2nd is a water labor (and birth). You experience pressure but nearly no pain. I am so serious. And the pushing is SO SO SO much easier. Your body just does it on its own. Please research it and see if this might work for you. It made my labor awesome. I wish I could do it again - it was so amazing. Good luck and please don't be scared. If you stay calm you'll probably spare yourself a hard labor since anxiety makes it a lot harder and painful. Hang in there and know that we all send you hugs and kisses - you'll be alright!
If I can be a sounding board or of any help please don't hesitate. Feel good, N.

B.,
I really think you will be ok with having the baby v**inally. i can understand your concern though. I know that is a hard thing to worry about. I dont think you have anything to worry about though. If you want, I can ask the doula group I belong to about it and see what they think on this matter. let me know if you would like me to do that. And, it might help for you to have some extra support during labor and delivery. have you maybe thought of that? Who is your birth team so far? That might help ease your fears. C-sections are alot harder on your body for alot of reasons, including recovery. I would take a v**inal delivery over a section any day, but that is just me. I hope I helped to ease your mind somewhat.

S. Bailey CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

Unfortunately, unless it's medicatlly necessary, I don't believe a doctor will just do a c-section although more seem to find easier reasons to have one than not. If your doctor's aren't concerned, then I wouldn't worry. I delivered twins v**inally. I had some major tearing and some broken blood vessels in my face but don't recall and major pressure in my head when pushing. If you really want to take precaution, visit a nuerologist and get a cat scan to make sure nothing looks out of sorts. And seriously, don't be embarassed asking doctors questions. If you dont' ask, they typically don't volunteer information. ASK! Good luck and congrats!

A C section is not the benign procedure that alot of people seem to think. It is major abdominal surgery and does come with real risks. Other than a dr. mentioning that it could be genetic, have you had any tests done to see if you are at risk for a brain aneurysm? I would not make a major decision like that based on a "maybe" situation. Vaginal delivery can be intense, but if you stay relaxed as possible and let your body do what it is designed to do without getting tooo worked up about it, I would think it would be fine. Learn as much as you can about labor,....information is power and the more you know about what is happening in your body, the less scared and nervous you are and the more you can be confident in your ability to birth this baby....thus the less tense you will be and the easier the birth will be on you physically.

But, if you are really concerned, go to a dr. and be tested to see if this is even something you should be concerned about.

Don't worry. The whole pushing thing you see on tv is way way overdone. Both my delivers were v**inal and the psuhing was a piece of cake. No veins bulging in the head or anything.
Ask for an epidural and you won't even know when a contraction occurs. You don't want a c-section. The recovery time is much much longer. Relax, again the whole pushing thing is NOT like you see on tv. Enjoy because it is the neatest thing you could imagine.

Honestly you're probably over thinking this. Ask them to induce you with the IV drip. They also have (can't remember term) it's like a long tampon on a rod. It releases a chemical that induces your body to eface. Get the epidural. Many doctors do not automatically give an epesiotomy. However, if you are having problems pushing, tell them to make the cut. It's really not that big of a deal. Many women tear anyways, so there's no difference between the epesiotomy and tearing. It's only a handful of stitches. Very little upkeep afterwards. Also, you can ask for drugs to help with inducing labor and help with nausciousness: nubaine and fenergan. My OB nurse called it "the cocktail". It works great together, very relaxing, and you really can enjoy the birthing process and after birth much more when you're not worried about pain. The drugs help keep you more energized and less stressed from pain as well. You have more energy for baby and visitors afterwards.

I discourage people from getting a c-section unless absolutely medically necessary. There is a huge risk of infection, huge, and the recovery is months not a week or couple days. You have to be so careful not to lift anything for quite a while or else the stitches inside your tummy will tear. You won't know from the outside, but you can have hemmoraging. Additionally, there is likely to be some scarring from a large incision across the lower abdomen from a c-section. About 75% of births are now c-sections. They are not medically necessary, are much much much more costly, and have a much longer healing time. It's over-rated.

I know other women swear by it, but a v**inal delivery is normal and has a quick recovery. I was walking around the very next day. (I think I slept off most of the day after both my boys.)

If you feel as comfortable as I did with my OBGYN then tell then your concern. It is not silly to be afraid of a v**inal...no more is it silly that i was TERRIFIED of the possibility of a c-section.

When I was pregnant with my first, I wold worry about all sorts of things - it comes with the hormones I think. I would talk to your doctors again, and clearly state your fears and ask them to explain very clearly why you shouldn't worry. What I would sincerely tell you though, is don't think that the c-section route is the easy way to go. I know quite a few people that have had c sections that, especially with their first, have had a difficult recovery. Now, I have had three, all v**inally and I was able to pick up and hold my baby immediately after birth, I was up walking around within a couple of hours, and with my last two I was home the next day. There is no way that that would ever happen with a c section, regardless of how easy it is. Also, even if you have and episiotomy or tear, your stitches dissolve and you barely feel them anyway. Not the same as c section stitches. Plus, there is a greater chance of infection with c section stitches because they don't heal as fast, because they are cutting into your body. Anyway, I would strongly encourage you to have an open discussion with your doctor about your fears and perhaps they can be alleviated without going the c section route.

Good luck!

Hello B.. I have an 8 month old son and I had similiar fears as you. Women in my family have very long, hard births. They all told me "it's natural, it's what a woman is created to be able to do." Yet my mother's bladder is falling and my sister at 36 is practically incontenant (sp?). Now I can't say anything about your specific fear however I will tell you, I really did not want to have a pushing birth. I heard enough about tearing, bleeding, not being able to sit well, etc etc, to make me very fearful. Many mom's I know said the healing process from a v**inal birth was harder to deal with than the actual birth! And now I know you can force an anurism. No thanks.

Besides for that, I had lower back problems that got me out of work a month early for my maternity leave. I read that Dr's are either really into giving a c-section or they're not. I thankfully worked with a group of doctors that are very liberal on this topic. They knew about my back issues which can lead to a long labor but as soon as I got into the long, hard births that run in my family, they were pretty apt to leaving it up to me as to what I wanted to do. Personally, I would really advise you to just tell your Dr something more female medically related rather than your father and an anurism. I honestly feel your concern is waranted but you have to make them believe that something with the BIRTH could effect you or your child. If you think about it, there's probably something in your or your family's medical past that could raise concern.

And I will tell you, I will never have a v**inal birth after having my son with a c. So many people thought I was nuts because I wanted the c-section but I had such a great experience. There were no surprises, I knew when I was going to have him, I didn't have to scream in pain for 18 hours, I didn't have to worry about my water breaking...I packed my bag, went to the hospital at 5 AM and very peacfully at 7:51 my son came into this world. The incision isn't cute but it's not a big deal; mine healed very quickly and I was at home walking stairs and picking up my son after 4 days. The way they used to do a c-secion a long time ago was very debilitation but it's really, honestly not anymore. They don't cut the muscle, they spread it so you have control over your stomach again much sooner than long ago. Now mind you, I'm not telling you that you will jump off the table and will be doing lunges any time soon but you will heal very quick and I rather have stickes on my abdomen and not "down there."

Some final food for thought is that I compared the number of women I talked to who had hard v**inal births vs. those who had hard c-sectio births and the number was x4. A very large portion of v** births said they were induced, they pushed for hours or something else went wrong that inevitably led them to having a c-section anyway. I had a very good experience with mine and I really do encourage you to speak to your doctors but like I said, I would give them female related medical reasons. Don't forget that baby doctors hear it all and they have to use their best judgement in making a decision about this so plead them your best case and hope for the best.

I wish you a lot of luck!!! You will be thrilled no matter what the situation turns out to be. Once you see that little face, you'll forget all about the birth. It's an amazing experience and I hope all the best for you and your new family! You are more than welcome to ask me anything else you'd like.

With best regards,
S.

B., Do not be afraid or embarrassed to bring anything up to your doctor! This is why they are there! When it comes to your health and your life you need to feel comfortable with who you are entrusting with your care! I know how you feel,because I've been there too, but I always ask because as the saying goes: The only silly question is the one that goes unasked! Even if you ask and are still not comfortable with the answer-ask again until you feel secure. You don't need extra worry right now you just need to concentrate on bringing your baby into the world and enjoying that special part of life--so get your questions answered and relax. It will be okay! Best of luck! I have had 2 babies and no meds either time! just get your questions out of the way and focus on the positive! I reccommend prenatal yoga also for breathing tecniques and also squating to open the birthing canal but as always check with your doc first!Again good luck!

I have also had both a v**inal and a c-section. If my husband and I have a third, I hope I can have a v**inal delivery. I also recommend finding out from your doctor if you are at risk and if you are, what it would mean for a safe delivery. Hopefully, you trust your doctor to know what's best. That fabulous doctor isn't always easy to come by, but it's great when you do find one.

My first delivery was v**inal. It was painful, I was induced, but in all honesty, I hardly remember the pain at all. I just know it was there. I showered a few hours later, went home the next day, walked comfortably. With my c-section, I pleaded for them to let me go home because my bed was lower to the floor and I physically couldn't move well in theirs. The recovery time is much longer with a c-section. I will say, however, that it was pretty awesome having my doctor show us our beautiful little boy just minutes after lying down. =0)

Either way you choose, you will have a beautiful baby soon. As long as you can trust your doctor, just try to relax and enjoy the last part of your pregnancy.

I would get a second opinion from another doctor if you are concerned. However, was your dad giving birth when he had the aneurism? I guess I don't understand the connection. Sometimes women burst blood vessels in their face when pushing but not in their brains. Relaxed pushing and not holding your breath should be helful with that but you still have time to research all that. Good luck and don't be afraid of birth, it's a natural thing (a c-section is not, believe me I've had both).

Get a doula. I had one and she was WONDERFUL. When you push, it almost feels good (yes, I know it sounds weird). Because you are pushing the baby out. If you are pushing and causing your face to burst vessels, then you are pushing the wrong way. I had a doula and she was right there telling me how to push and helping me get the baby out faster. She was great! Also, my doctor at U of C, great doctor, CRAPPY hospital, just told me to start pushing, then she left the room. It was me, my hubby and my doula. If I did not have a doula, I would have been pushing wrong and blowing hard for needless hours. GET A DOULA!! Best money ever spent!

If you are that worried see a neuorolgist before delivery. And anorizm isn't something they usually know about until it happens unless you are worried about like in this case. Talk to your family doctor if your OB isn't too helpful.