Ideas to Bring Hubby & I Back Together...

Is there a neighbor that you could swap kids with once a month? That way each of you gets a 'free' night out? I know that w/ the cost of a babysitter + dinner + movie it's WAY expensive.... it's getting nice out so you don't even have to do anything that costs money... just drive to a nice park and take a walk! Good luck.

Watch the movie "Fireproof", together if possible. It changed the way I look at my marriage and my relationship with my husband.

Please stop putting your relationship with your husband on the back burner. It would be better for your kids to see that your husband and marriage comes first. The kids will only be with you for a short time then they are gone from your home and you don't want to be living with a husband you no longer adore or even know.

Several small things would be important. Institute a date night for at least once a month. Spend time together talking and "bonding" everyday. Put the kids to bed 1/2 hour early and/or try completing some household chores together. Example he washes dishes and you dry. You spend this time talking.

Love notes, words or admiration and just letting him know how much you respect him and everything he does for the family but be specific.

Men are visual so are you making certain you are eye candy to him? Example, if he loves your legs, throw on a pair of shorts and stand in a chair to reach something on a high shelf when he can see you.

What are some of the things you say and do to capture your husband's heart and attention? Do these things often and frequently. Also complement him to someone else within his earshot.

Make a conscious effort to work on your relationship with your husband. Even ask him if there is anything he would like to see improved. He may surprise you but be prepared to deliver on all reasonable requests. I really hope that helps.

We do projects together.
Most recent was improving our yard. Digging, planting, watering side by side. It's a good opportunity for us to do something together and its a good convo starter/ice breaker when I dont know what to say......So......the tomatos are looking good.

OH yeah - and we work out together! Forgot that one. I mean not necessarily right next to each other the whole time, but we go to the gym together. We split up for a while and then end up on treadmills next to each other or on the bikes. Its kind of sexy and we leave feeling so much more energized and his testosterone is up --- if you know what I mean,

TRY to line up a date night once a month. It helps. You need that time where you can go out, relax and have an uninterupted adult conversation. If you have a sitter that is not avl all that often, maybe see if she has a friend she can recommend. Sometimes Gym's like a LifeTime Fitness offer child care once a month. Maybe there are places around you that offer some type of Saturday night childcare once a month where the kids can play and you can get away.

Date Nights!!! Please find family, friend or someone very trustworthy and go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its good that you are thinking about this, you need to make the realtionship with your partner just as important as your children! can you make sure you have time for each other after the little ones are in bed? possible cuddle & watch a movie together?

Marraige is very tough when the kids are young. they need you constantly and y our needs always seem to takea back seat to their. My husband nearly left me 2 or 3 times becuase he felt neglected. As a working mom with a sick parent I was just spent and felt he should understand that he was last on the priority list. YIKES!!! Men do not have the network of emotional connections that most women do. Their wife is their primary emotional connection - and that's how you want it to be! After dinner we try to stay at the table when the kids wander off so we can catch up on the day. When he tells me about his day I have to stop whatever I'm doing and show him that I'm listening. Women can easily multi-task - men's brains are not wired that way - so when you're doing stuff while he's talking to you that's a signal to him that you're not really interested and not listening. For us, we're just being time efficient. ;o) Little things go a long way for men. A touch, initiating sex, rubbing his shoulders while he's sitting on the couch.

Women yearn for love, men yearn for respect. Be sure to show him respect and make sure the kids do too. That will go a VERY long way.

And yes - find time to get out by yourselves once in a while. Find another couple to trade babysitting with. For years we did that with another couple and it was great. Free babysitting. Eventually we even did the sleepover thing so each couple would get an overnight without the kids. That was wonderful! Good luck - this is important to do - the best thing you can do for your kids is to have a good marriage. ;o)

We've been together 15 years and have 2 small kids too. After 7 months of marriage counseling, I can tell you that the best thing you can give your children is a strong example of what a good marriage is like. And to do that you need to make your marriage and your relationship with your husband a priority. Find a babysitter that you like and schedule them for every Friday, or every other Friday, or even once a month. Alternate turns planning date night. If you get a good sitter, then your kids will be begging you to go out (mine are always asking if this Friday is date night so they can stay home with our sitter).
If your kids are so busy that you are always shuttling them to activities, you may also want to consider cutting back on the activities. I let my son pick ONE activity at a time (my daughter is still too young for scheduled activities) so that we can actually spend time together as a family, and that he has time to invite friends over to play. You have find a balance that is right for your family.
I have also noticed that regular exercise gives me more energy at the end of the day -- so once my kids are in bed I have at least an hour or two to spend on my own projects or talking with my hubby.
Good luck to you -- this is hard, but important!

There are many different answers to this question. But the question lies on you two. Have you sat and talked to him? You may be spending to much time together and not enough apart, or to much wrapped in your children and not enough wrapped in eachother (both mentally and physically). For my husband and I about twice a year we take the kids to a grandparents house to "visit" and we spend one or two weeks with eachother. It allows us to reconnect (both physically and mentally). It also allows us to unwind from all the activites of having two small children (3 and 18 months). you can also try date nights once a month for a babysitter to watch the children over dinner while you two do something that brought you two together and is a common interest. A day/night off for either of you may also help. Wishing you the best of luck.

talk, talk, talk. We are going trough the same thing plus medical and learning disability issues, so with exhaustion and talks about specific topics the "us" time has dwindled. But just recently we agreed that our focus is in the right place, so for now we cuddle a few minutes before falling asleep and the wild sex and champagne days will come again.

Our kids are 15, 11 and 8 and they are in their rooms for the night at 8pm. they don't have to be 'asleep', but in there so we can have our time. That gives us from 8pm til about 10:30 to do what we want! We have our adult conversations to get caught up from the day...get caught up on our favorite shows...or we go to bed early and have some non-talking communication... :o)

Also, you may want to check out the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

Good luck!!!

You need to move your marriage to the front burner.

1. Date nights - if you don't have a babysitter - fine - wait until after the kids go to bed and sit on the couch with a glass of wine - or whatever you drink - no phones, no computers, no tv - and TALK!!!

2. Cut back on outside activities - or do them as a family - PERIOD.

3. Take a shower together either before bed or in the AM - MAKE TIME for each other.

4. KISS - not just the polite peck - KISS EVERY DAY - when my hubby comes home - I KISS him.

make sure he's on the same page as to putting the marriage first - tell him "i'm feeling us slipping apart and this is my idea to pull us closer...." and tell him what you want and need.

If you can afford it - hire a house cleaner so that your weekends aren't spent cleaning the house.

If you can afford it - find a neighborhood teen that you trust or to go http://www.babysitter.com - I THINK that's it - to find a baby sitter you can trust. Then schedule dinners out - or not even dinner OUT - have the sitter keep them in one room and you guys have dinner on the patio - alone - think outside the box....YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I hear you on this one! I am going through the samething! We have 3 kid's and everyday im constantly running around trying to get the kid's to their practice's for band and soccer, then come's homeowrk and dinner! It's over whelming! What my husband and I have done is we do a "date night", we have our neighbor's daughter come and sit with the kid's and we just go out, either to a movie, dinner, or even to the city...We try to do this atleast once a month and if we are'nt able to do that then what I do is pick a day that's not soo hectic and get the kid's to bed earlier and we just sit down and watch a movie together or just even sit down and have a cup of coffee or tea and talk about our day...Check around with your neighbor's, im sure you may know some of your neighbor's well enough and they might have a teenage daughter that will watch the kid's for you...Good Luck!

How old are your children?
Are they in school?
Can you trade sitting with a neighbor. Are there people at your church that baby sit? Do your ids ever sleep over at other homes? These are the times to take advantage of alone time.

When you do go to their games, practices and performances, hold hands.

Does your husband have a favorite snack? My husband and I love Hershey with Almond bars. Not because we like to eat them, but because they remind us of how we first met. Every once in a while he or I will hand the other a a bar of the chocolate. Nothing else needs to be said.

Do you both work? Maybe go in late every once in a while.
My husband and I sometimes, meet for breakfast at a cozy or fancy place. He goes into work a little later. Skips lunch so he is not actually missing any hours. I like to go DT to a new restaurant or new hotel to have breakfast, gets us out of the burbs.

Sometimes, I will take a picnic lunch and kidnap him at lunch time, if I know he has the time.

We go to a movie in the middle of the week. There is a place in town where you can order adult drinks and real food while watching the movies. For Christmas I asked my mom to give us tickets to see David Sedaris , so next week on Monday night, we will be going out!

Sometimes, I will whisper something naughty to him, then I kiss him goodbye for work.. We text or call and just check up on each other and say we miss each other.

Parenting is a full time job, but your marriage is always the most important. Your children will grow up and have their lives, you will be spending the rest of your lives together as a couple. Do figure out how to strengthen it. Yes, there are going to be times, just a wink and a blown kiss is as close as you get, but make the effort to make it more.

My husband and I have been married 7 1/2 years (together 14 1/2) with 2 small kids. We both work fulltime and he is also a fire captain and wrestling coach (we are busy people). Here are a couple things we do:
1. Romantic dinners after the kids go to bed. My hubby will go get take out from an "adult" restaurant and bring it home while I finish putting the kids to bed, then I pour a glass of wine and we eat together.
2. Date night. You need a babysitter at least 1 night a month, even if they come over after the kids go to bed. We do this a lot because I feel guilty taking time away, but if they are already alseep whats the bother.

I don't know how old your kids are (mine are 3 and 6), but it is also good to have a date night and leave them with a sitter while they are awake, because they will grow to see the strength of your relationship. My husband was gone all week on business and we had a preset dinner with some friends for that friday night when he got home. My daughter (6) was upset with him for leaving once he got home. He talked to her and told her that he missed her very much and that he wanted to take mommy on a date. She smiled sweetly at him and told him that was really nice because mommy deserved a date with daddy and kissed his cheek. It was so sweet. They are very understanding that mommy and daddy together is important.

You need to get away together without the kids. Either on a date night or for a long weekend. You guys deserve it. Take a walk together at night after dinner and talk. Talk at bedtime and let him know that you miss him. You miss the two of you and the bond that you had, that you want that back. If you have family near by have them watch the kids or some good friends and go to a bed and breakfast somewhere and enjoy each other once again. Leave the electronics at home and only call to check in with the kids, no e-mail just you two. When the kids are in bed plan something romantic like a picnic in front of the fireplace with some desert. You are in a rut like all parents and you, like all parents need to rekindle the romance. Start looking into getting a regular babysitter that you can rely on and that might help. Get your kids to carpool with other parents, do something so that you can have some time everyday to connect with your husband.

We used to do a date night once a month, we'd go to dinner, sometimes end up at the grocery store:) but it was just nice to have some time alone with no one trying to climb out of the cart! Another thing we do is kiss for at least 30sec before bed. Sometimes it leads to more, sometimes we lay there and talk and sometimes we say I love you and go to bed. No matter what happens I love that bit of intimate time together. :)

If you can find a babysitter I would do a date night-or weekend if possible. If not, put the kids to bed, turn off the tv(or go outside if its a nice night) and have a drink, dinner and have conversations where you are not allowed to bring up the kids.

My husband and I have been going through some issues and I'm trying to reconnect with him as well. I also asked a somewhat similar question and gots tons of helpful answers. Here's my two cents: women want to talk their guy's ear off. All they hear is 'blah, blah blah", or, they feel compelled to FIX our situations rather than just listen, which is ultimately what we need. That stresses them out.

So, meet them on their level. Your goal is to connect with him, so connect with him. Does he like sports? Buy him some tickets to a sporting event, buy him a jersey before, feed him a great meal, and give him some mindblowing sex afterwards! In one night, you've met all of his passions- sports, food, sex! Sounds like a man's perfect night!!

That will get him thinking "DAMN, my wife is awesome!!" In turn, he will want to connect with YOU more.

Good luck, I know life is so busy and it's hard to find time to connect with our men, but it's so important!