Husband Forgot Daughter

I'd be VERY ticked off at Shaun if he left my daughter alone. But I'd tell him that he needs to be more aware of things when HE is in charge of her. That you shouldn't have to worry that he's going to leave her by herself when you are out running errands. KWIM?

I find that men are very forgetful, unless the things they need to do are for them. Is this your first child? Was there something done differently in the routine that caused this? It is unfortunate that this happened. Now that it happened, getting past the frustration and finding a solution is what you both should be focused on. You are blessed that your daughter was safe.

Continuing to place blame on each other will only make matters worse. We are human and make mistakes. Maybe a call home to remind him she is there. Maybe laying out the next day's activities before going to sleep to make sure both of you are on the same sheet of music.

Sorry does not fix the problem, but it is a step in the right direction. As a woman, I am guilty of focusing blame on a man instead of the big picture. The what ifs did not happen, and that is great. Now, work through the obstacle in front of you with open communications so it can be prevented.

Hope things work out.

I can't even imagine how scary that was. Luckily for everyone involved (mostly your daughter), she didn't wake up and never knew she was alone.

I'm going to play devil's advocate... is he normally left home alone responsible for your daughter, or is she normally with you? If he's not used to having to take her everywhere with him, he may have honestly just forgotten that she was home - especially since she was sleeping so the house was quiet. (it's hard to forget a kid that's active and awake and under your feet!) Since she was sleeping, he may have forgotten that she did not go with you.

Has he apologized to you for forgetting to wake your daughter and bring her with him? Does he show remorse or regret? (Remember, he can regret the incident and be sorry for it even though he says it was an accident). If he has been stressed or not getting enough sleep, it may have honestly slipped his mind. Fathers bond with their children, but don't have that bond that we have as mothers. Though the child is a part of them, it's different when you carry that life within you. The fact that it was an accident doesn't lessen the severity and doesn't lessen his guilt, though.

If he said he's sorry and feels ashamed... I'd just let it go. Harping on it and being resentful is only going to breed more bad feelings - and let's face it - mistakes happen even with the most observant parents. Instead of focusing on the negative - focus on the positives of the experience. She (lukcily) wasn't hurt or scared and will will probably never forget to remember to take her with him again. Hanging it over his head won't change the past and may cause resentment and other negative feelings in the future.

Take a deep breath, let it go...and let go of the bad feelings about the situation. Everything is fine and it's in the past. Leave the past where it belongs - behind you - and move forward.

He may very well be embrassed about the whole situation. Sometimes men seem as though they don't care or that it wasn't a big deal. They really do not feel this way, but it is more a defense mechanism becasue they feel like a failure. Men do not do well when they feel like a failure or that they have failed their family.

I bet the embarassment alone will teach a huge lesson and he will never do that again! Women can multi-task, and men have one task brained. It was probably a huge mistake, and one that you cannot fathom b/c men a women think SOOOO differently! Pushing the issue (epecially in a forceful way) will probably make that defense mechanism stronger and push him more away (and less willing to accept responsibility like you need him to). Even though you don't feel like "letting him off the hook", if you will go to him and tell him that all is ok, but to please be more careful next time, I bet it will make a world of difference.

If this is the only time it's happened I truly believe he simply forgot. I have 5 children. When our youngest was 4 months old, a friend brought us a kitten. We were so excited and wanted to know how old this kitten was. So we jumped in the van, drove to the vet, and asked them to tell us how old this stray was. Just as they rounded the corner with our precious kitty it hit me...OMG we left Joshua at HOME!! That was THE longest 5 minutes in my life waiting on them to return with the kitten & the news.

I looked at my daughter & said OMG Sarah we left Joshua at home...very quietly of course. As soon as we had the kitten we quickly drove home & there he was sleeping contently in his crib. I was terrified & felt like the world's worst mom. I swore my children to secrecy, in fact my husband didn't find out about it till about 3 years ago & m son is now 10!!

You will fill your mind with all sorts of what if's and they are valid. But if your routine was changed there's a good chance that is why he forgot her. Be thankful nothing happened, resolve to put in some sort of safety check system and forgive him.

You have every right to be mad, and I would be fuming as well.

You two need to sit down and discuss this when you dont have the kids around-and do it calmly. He needs to admit that what he did was wrong. When you talk about decide how you're going to handle this problem and make sure that it never happens again.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and I really hope that you two can work this out.

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Hi. I think that Karen P's advice was excellent and I have to say that I understand your frustration. My husband has never "forgotten" our kids but it drives me insane when he asks me what we need to bring with us when we leave the house or go somewhere overnight. He is a very smart man but for some reason he needs to be not so nicely reminded at times. I have explained to him many times that, "you have been around these children for the past 4 years....pay attention"! Thankfully no harm came to your child and hopefully the eperience will improve your husbands order of thinking. You can't dwell on it too much. I would wager that he will do better from here on out.

Hi T.,
You have every right to be mad- I would be livid. Thank goodness nothing happened while you were gone. Accidents happen- sure, but come on.. to forget that your child was in the house like that is inexcusable to me. Hopefully, this will be a lesson to him to pay a little extra attention before leaving the house "Keys- check, door locked-check, everything off-check, kid not here... check!". If not, maybe he needs to tie a string around his finger or some kind of note on the door...Good grief.

T.,my husband has never forgotten our kids at home, but with as much as he has on his plate with work and everything I would not be surprised. If your hubby was upset about it ,believe me he will not do it again.....he learned his lesson. However if he thinks it was not a big deal.....well then stay mad till he gets it....

I don't understand how anyone can forget a child is in the house sleeping. But, in the news you hear of it happening often. Thank God she didn't wake up while she was alone. You have every right to be very mad! Men look at things so different. He probably sees it as well nothing happened. As a Mom we see it as everything that could of happened. I don't know away to reconcile on this one, other than time. He needs to understand how much you have lost confidence in him as far as his parenting. I wish I had better advise. I wish you luck on the situation.

WOW!! I don't blame you I would be very mad! It could have been an honest accident, but I don't understand how he could of walked out and forgotten about her!? That just doesn't make sense to me. Maybe you need to tell him to stop & think what if she would of gotten up and got hurt or something happened to her or the house caught on fire while she was their, would he still tell you not to be mad? I don't know what to tell you, but I just wanted to say that I think you have every right to be mad, very mad. Good luck with this one.

The good news is that your daughter was ok. Chances are, with the discussion that has already occurred, he will never forget her again. It is one of those lessons that hopefully, sticks with you, especially the panic he probably had when he realized he forgot her. As hard as it is, you probably need to let it go as further punishing him will do nothing but harm to the relationship which the 3 yr old will pick up on.

You know, when I was little, my mom and dad told my sister and I to get into the car. I was very young, but I remember this. I was maybe 4 years old??? I ended up going to my room for something and they left without me! It was horrible to know that your family could just not know you are there! They ended up only getting to the stop sign at the main street, like 3 minutes up the road, wondering why it was so quiet in the car. My sister, who is two years older than me thought it was hillarious and didn't want me to go with them, and didn't say anything! They came back and got me, so maybe a total of six mintues passed, but to me at the house, it seemed like hours. I sat on our sofa and cried and cried and cried....and when I saw them pull back into the driveway, I ran into their arms. I still to this day, hold it out, whenever I get mom or dad upset at me! LOL. I am ok, it didn't ruin me forever, it was a mistake, and mistakes happen! Don't be angry for too long, it can happen to anyone. I just always watch out for my kids....and maybe this will make your husband more aware too...he knew he made a mistake, and that is why he is so defensive.

My parents left my sister in a gas station bathroom once. There were 6 kids and two dogs and a cat in the car, and they just didn't count. Frankly, it's a wonder stuff like this doesn't happen more often, and remember that as a stay at home mom you're way more focused on the kids than he is. The kids are what your whole day revolves around, and his doesn't. And she was quiet and not in the same room. I've forgotten my kids were home since they're teenagers who shut themselves up in their rooms, and I've forgotten that they were at a friend's house and needed picked up, too! As long as it scared him some and he understands that it could have been serious, you need to forgive him for being human and male. I doubt he'll forget again.