How to encourage a 5 year old to do homework?

I don't make Rachel do homework. I really think it's a bit much in Kindergarten. I work full-time outside the home. By the time we are done with dinner, clean up, play with the dog, etc., we hardly have any time for homework or baths, haha. We do homework and baths on alternating night. If we finish the homework fine, if not fine. Luckily, her teacher is lenient this year. It did reflect on her homework grade, but I really don't care. She is reading and got the highest possible marks in Math. She is doing fine. We'll see what first grade brings.

Maybe try not calling it homework. If you know it is something she likes to do like drawing a picture, simply say lets sit down and draw a picture together. At the end of the task applaud her for completing no matter what it looks like. Make sure not too put too much pressure and keep it in time increments that she can handle. ALso have a favorite snack handy so she can munch while she works.

S.,
This is what I did and do with my children. I say "Honey, learning is important." Mrs. ______ is your teacher and she knows that these things she asks you to do will help you learn. I also sit with my children at this young age and draw my own picture and sometimes help them with theirs. It shows you child that your willing to be there for her and it should be fun not a stressful situation. Yes, my children still moan about it to start, but as a parent it's your job to say, "this is our homework time, let get to it." We also have a homework hour and never just try to fit it in somewhere. This time will establish good study habits that will stay with your child for the rest of her education. My three children have proved me right. Good luck! Breathe deep and be the blessing. I tutor children and can tell you that your involvment and attitude will make all the difference in her world.

I'm not sure this is the advice you're looking for :) but, counter-culturally, we let our kindergartner decide whether she wants to do her homework or not. We talk about how her teacher expects her to do it (she loves her teacher), that we would be happy to help, but that it's her decision. We figure (a) it's silly that kindergartners have homework at all (b) she has many years to hate homework; make it a fun choice now when it really doesn't matter (c) if she is struggling academically or the homework is something besides busy work, we can change the rules and (d) there are enough battles to fight with our five-year-old that this one is really not important to us!

Good luck with the battle!

Hi S.,

I don't really have advise to offer, as my son is in second grade in a Waldorf School and he still doesn't have homework yet. But I do recommend if you are able to finacially handle it check out the Waldorf Education.

My son's school is in Northridge, I drive from Valley Village every day and I don't mind it because I know my son is happy and liks to go to school.

There is another Waldorf City School in the Lake Balboa Area and it is cheaper.

Just thought you might like to know..

Best wishes,
P.

I agree with Mary. Kindergarten is WAY too young to have homework. I think we are unneccesarily stressing our children out at such a young age nowadays. I have a friend whose Kindergartner was already having spelling tests. She pulled her son out of kindergarten and started homeschooling with CAVA(California Virtual Academies. She's very happy now and so is her son. She says it's relatively easy once you get the hang of it and that she spends as much time with him on his lessons as she did battling him to do homework.

I plan to homeschool when my 3 yr. old is ready. Not sure if homeschooling is an option for you, but here's the link.

http://www.caliva.org/about/index.html

Good luck,
C.

S.,

You leave out some information that I feel is important to look at. Do you work part time or full time or are you a partial or full time stay-at-home-mom. Is this issue a time struggle or does she feel like she is not being heard? If you are coming home from a day at work she might feel rushed to finish something when she wants to only spend time with you under a less stressed environment. If you are a stay at home mom she might just want to choose when and where she will do her homework. Either work situation works. Although if you are working full time other things need to be relaxed at home so that the evening time is not a rush of trying to do everything, ie cooking, cleaning, chores.

Heres my advice on this subject and actually most every issue as a child is growing up. Choices, choices, choices. I am only talking about choices that you choose but nevertheless your child will be able to have a say in the matter. I have found that when my children can have an input on what is happening in their lives they can relax and do the job that needs to be done.

I have a 5 year old in Kindergarten but I also have an 18 yr old in College and two 16 yr olds that are in Gate/Honors classes in High School. I used this mind set with them and I use it with my 5 yr. old. I think that it puts the responsibility for homework on the student early on so that they can build healthy work habits for future studies.

Every day I give my son at least a half an hour to "decompress" after he comes home from school. This half hour is his choice of what he wants to do (watching TV, playing outside- with or without me, reading, baking ...) The day that his Homework comes home is Monday so we sit down with all the homework and discuss how many pages he has and how many days he has to do it in(4). We then figure out how many pages he needs to do on average each day. We then look to see if there are any days that week that he has something else he needs to do (doctors appt., sports practice, class...). If he does have anything we talk about how he needs to do a bit more on the other days when his time is more free. I lay out the pages and he picks the homework to be done that day. I also say that it is his choice if he wants to do more but he only has to do (usually) 2 pages that day. We lay out everything he needs to accomplish his homework (crayons, glue or glue stick, pencils, erasers) next to his work area. (He does it on the kitchen table because of great lighting and plenty of room).
I then give him the CHOICE of when he does his homework. The rule is that until he finishes the minimum of homework for that day he can not watch another TV show and he can't play a computer game and I will not join him in play and he can't play outside. He is allowed to play, read ... and basically entertain himself inside until that homework is done. There are some days when he tries to go around the rules and tries to get me to agree to something before he does his homework. I am firm and loving and keep myself busy doing chores or read. Once we have gone over what needs to be done I DO NOT bring it up or pester him with his responsibility to do his homework. It just sits there on the table waiting for him. If he asks to do any of those things I just quietly say that as soon as he finishes what he has to do we can move on to other things. I have looked ahead to if he doesn't do any homework and what will I do and we have discussed it so that he knows what the consequences are. If he has not done any homework, he goes to bed half an hour early to bed and there is no TV (he usually watches "Hi-5" while he getting ready for school) in the morning. I never take away his half hour "decompression" time after school, no matter what. There has only been one time that he tried not doing homework for one day and he was not pleased with the consequences so he does his homework. Sometimes he does it right away, sometimes not for an hour but he knows that the choice of WHEN to do it is his. He doesn't have the choice of whether he is going to do it, only when and where.
I hope that this advice helps. (Sorry it is so long but I couldn't find anything to delete)

Evelyn

I wish I had some advice for you but I don't- I'm just here to say that you are not alone. My son always loved school and homework until this year- like your daughter he loved his Pre-K assignments last year and is now in Kinder like your daughter. Most of the time he says he loves school, but like your daughter, he gets sent into a tizzy when I tell him that it's time to do homework. He moans, groans, etc until I get him situated and he focuses, at which point he is fine.

I am a teacher and at the private school I teach it we've discussed this topic- whether or not to assign homework. I am starting to hate keeping track of it- who did it, who didn't, hearing the excuses, seeing the tears fall, etc etc. Kids are busy at school all day and when they get home, they want to de-stress and relax just like we do. As a teacher, I am playing with the idea of only assigning long-term projects to do at home and the rest of the work I'd normally assign as homework could be done in class.

Thanks and good luck,
L.

Try this, buy a special puzzle that is a little too hard for her to do by herself. Make a pact that you will put so many pieces (say 3-10) into the puzzle with her every time she finishes her homework. The she will not only look forward to completing the work so she can do the puzzle time, she has special time with you, and she is learning how to excersize her brain in a problem solving way...
Good luck!
S.

Hi, I was really sad when I read your post. This is a teacher's/school's misguided attempt to instill a habit or discipline that children will need later in their studies. Five year olds need time to play, which is still how they do most of their learning. So if you feel you must go along with this homework, I suggest getting out the dolls and teddy bears and have a play school. That way her "homework" can be their "classwork". Good luck! Grams

Hi S.,

I had an equally hard time with my daughter's homework when she was in kindergarten. The teacher gave out a lot of coloring projects, which looked like fun to me, but they took my daughter forever! She would be coloring for over an hour and still not done, poor kid. Homework turned into a huge battle every night. First grade wasn't much easier, but now in second grade she's finally gotten into it and does it by herself without a fight.

But until then here is my advice:
1) Make sure your daughter has a good, hour long, unstructured, play time break. A cute movie if she's really tired out from school or some out door play time if not.
2) Give her a good snack when she comes home from school, before homework.
3) Remind her that nothing needs to be perfect. (This was a big issue for my daughter.)
4) Help her. I always wanted my daughter to do everything by herself but some nights she just couldn't manage it. Obviously some things, like copying letters, your little girl will have to do by herself, but anything that seems kind of hard for her, especially if she's been at it for more than 20 or 30 minutes, just tell her the answer. I know this sounds like bad advice, but most homework is just busywork.
5) It's kindergarten! After one hour if the homework still isn't done write a note to the teacher explaining why it couldn't be done and send it in incomplete. Many teachers are pressured into giving out a lot of homework by parents who are really into it. They need pressure back from parents who want their children to play and have fun after a long day of school.
6) If homework continues to be too much for your little girl scedule a meeting with the teacher to work it out. Her teacher might have some ideas for you too.

Good luck!
H.

Hi, S.! I used to teach kindergarten and here is a suggestion I used to give parents. If you are open to it, have some "homework" set aside for YOU to do while she does her homework (ie: bills, cutting coupons, etc...), and then when she sits down to her homework, you could sit down with her and do your homework, too. That way, she sees that EVERYONE has "work" they have to get done. I also really like the suggestions about small rewards for after. You could even try a sticker chart...she gets a sticker each day she completes her homework, and then builds up to a special prize after 5 or 10 homework days. She could earn her sticker by doing it without whining, or whatever your expectation is. Homework at this age is so tough, and I agree that 5 yr olds need to play. I also think it is important to teach our children, even at this age, that sometimes in life we have to do things that might be good for us but that we might not always "like". Hopefully, the teacher is assigning homework that he/she finds educationally valuable and that is reinforcing daily lessons at home...not just "busy work". Hope this helps, and good luck! J.

Hi, to me this seems like odd behavior. I would look into the teacher and the class and see if something has happened such as someone making fun of other's work or another event that has affected her negatively. Maybe someone called her stupid or a name and she fears that if her homework isn't good they might be right - kids have many insecurities, it's our job to detect them and work with our children to overcome them.

Also talk to the teacher and discuss his/her observances. And I would try and ask your child why - she might just be able to tell you something about what is troubling her.

well i have and still am there. try not saying its homework say hey come color with me or draw mommy a picture. or maybe even say that her teacher from preschool sent her some fun stuff to do maybe that will work but just prepare yourself it only gets harder it wont get any easier not to scare you or anything just being honest

In my experience with my daughter and son this is very typical behavior. Kindergarten is so different than when we were in school and it is very fast-paced and demanding. So much of the day is spent writing and learning and leaves very little room for free time or creativity. With my two kids, I just try to explain to them that whining and complaining only drags out their homework and that when they are done we can do something fun, i.e. go outside, play a game. I also try to make sure they are not too tired or hungry. Maybe give her a small reward like a sticker or a happy face on the calendar. As she gets older and it becomes routine, it will get easier. My daughter is in the 4th grade and they really become more independent with each year. My son is also in kindergarten so I know just how you feel. Good luck and hang in there!

sounds like homework has a negative connotation to her. does she have older siblings who have given her the idea, or are you sometimes stressed when she has to get it done???

the best learning is done through play. so maybe you could look over her homework before the two of you set down to do it, and invite her to color or count, or read with you. rather than telling her to do her homework. usually homework at this age requires supervision to keep them on track with the directions or purpose of the assignment. you set the tone. "this is fun, we are relaxed. we are doing it together. you are so smart! etc..."

Aloha, S.!

Have you tried not calling it "homework?" Perhaps if you both sat down and did it together and made it something fun, she would respond better. Are you able to turn the homework into a game? Good luck!

I think 5 is so young to have to do homework, but thats the way schools are these days. I would offer her a special activity for doing the homework: making cookies, a 30 minute romp in the park, playing with her, etc. Find out what makes her excited and offer a reward.

Also a second the advice to dialog with the teacher. There may be some struggle that you (and the teacher) may not be aware of.

Finally, how about a "homework club". (she may be a little young for this) Find some other students who need homework encouragement and have them group together to do their individual work and when done have some fun. This works for my junior high boy. They actually have an on campus boys and girls club where they have "homework club" and he now does everything but big projects there. It works so well that if I did not now work full time, I would start a neighborhoood homework club. Good luck and hang in there. :)

Hi S.,
A couple of ideas. we struggle with homework too. 1. go to the dollar store and put a bunch of little toys in a pillow case that she can pull something out of without looking into it as a reward for getting her homework done. reward her by letting her get some outside play time if she gets her homework done. sometimes children get overwhelmed by the homework load. Read every other sentence from the book if she is reading. break it down so you do some of the work until she gets more into it again. Kids do most of their work at school so doing some of the work for/with them just promotes the homework idea and takes some of the stress off them. My son used to take hours to do his homework so we started to use a kitchen timer. Now I bet him Nickles he can do that 20 questions of math in 15 minutes if you beat the time you get 4 nickles if you go over I get to keep a nickle for every 5 minutes you are over. I really pick random nickles and times but he likes to win! I knew a piano teacher that would place a row of pennies across the piano and when the student missed she would take pennies away so that is where I got the nickle idea. good luck!
S.
from California

As a teacher, I have learned that the best way to encourage youngsters is to make it into a game... that way, they are learning and doing the task without even realizing it. Once she begins to enjoy it (After a couple weeks or so) then enlighten her to the fact that the whole time she has actually been doing homework! (But refer to it as fun work from this point forward!) Her attitude toward the whole concept should change! (And NO - this is not ODD behavior. Children at this age have one track minds. All they want to do is play, not work!)

Also - you can call it something else too - Come up with some quirky name for whatever type of "homework" it might be. Like a title for the gamme you turn it into.

For example, the homework assignment is to draw a picture of her family pet. Read the instructrions from the teacher, then place everything in her backpack... and have her go put the backpack in her room. When she comes back to the family room, have some crayons and paper (or whatever supplies the teacher asked for her to use) and tell her that you want to have a family drawing contest! The winner gets and extra scoop of ice cream after dinner, or an extra cookie in their lunch the next day... or whatever! And yes, your child should always win! DO NOT say, HAHA, Mommies is better, I get the extra cookie! :) (Of course, you can ALWAYS have the extra cookie for yourself.. Afterall - you DESERVE it - You're a fabulous MOM!)

(The only potential problem with this plan is that the teacher might have a certain type of paper she sends home for the homework to be done on. IF you attempt to use this paper and your child feels she is being "tricked" into doing homework, she will be on guard forever! So I suggest using your own paper from home, then slip in a note to the teacher that this was what you needed to do to get her to do the homework. Surely they will understand! And in a couple weeks when you tell your daughter she was doing homework (funwork) the whole time, you can switch back to the teachers paper...)

You can turn nearly anything into a game... naptime, eating meals, picking up toys, manners, etc. the key is healthy competition and following through with the rewards.
Hope this helps!

I am a kindergarten teacher and had a student in the same situation. I suggested the following to my students' parent, maybe it will work for your daughter.
Buy incentive charts, you can find them in a teacher's store, along with stickers to go with them. Incentive charts are small charts with 20 squares. Show her one chart only, along with the stickers. Tell her that everyday that she does her homework without complaining she would put a sticker in one of the squares. When she is done with the chart she will get or you will do something special. Keep the reward very simple at the beginning, prize wise. Also, make sure she puts the sticker because that shows her ownership and tape it somewhere visible. Make sure she does not whine at all, don't give her any breaks. After her first chart, tell her you are going to do it again, however this time she is going to get a sticker for every 2 or three days she does her homework (base it on her response to the first chart) without complaining. If she fills is too much, give her a hint "the reward will be bigger". continue, by increasing a sticker a week and so on. Then little by little you'll wean her out of the incentive pad and she'll get use to doing homework without whining.
Hope it helps. GOOD LUCK!!!!

hi,

I used to let my daughter coem home from school and have a snack and a 30 minute break before starting her homework. I went to staples and got a littole pad of paper that had a cute pattern printed on the paper and a grid. Every asssignment was equal to a stickerplaced in that grid. When she filled the grid she would get to chose a present that was in my reward basket. These were little items from the 99 cent store or the sale rack at the book store, that I had wrapped. She loved this "game" and eventually it was not needed to get her through the homework. I also sat next to her and did a word puzzle or other homework of my own so she wasn't the only one working on it.