I have a 7 and and 8 year old. My 8 year old knows what sex is and that sex makes a baby in pretty great detail because I told him when he started asking questions. My MIL freaked out that I told him but I only told him because I knew he could handle it. However, I would never give that information to my 7 year old because she would not handle it the same. My 8 year old is extremely scientific, very matter-of-fact, does not run to his friends to tell them things and is really interested in the way things in the world work. He tends to be a very serious, somewhat quiet and strict rule follower. My 7 year old, on the other hand, is an amazing girl but is very whimsical, doesn't take things seriously, pushes limits and loves to gossip (ALREADY!) so I would never tell her about the birds and the bees at this age because she would tell everyone she met ALLLLL about it. So just curious, how much does your child know about sex and "where babies come from" and how old are they?
My daughter knew what sex was and how babies were made before she entered kindergarten. She asked and I told her.
My 9 year old knows nothing. I am waiting and taking cues from her on what and when to talk to her. She does know that she will get a period at some point, but that is it. I talk very openly with my daughter and I know what she is thinking and where her mind is at. She is not at that point yet, but I have a feeling it will be happening this year or next.
She is young and innocent for her age. Some of her friends who have older siblings are a bit more advanced, and I just keep asking her questions about things to gauge what she is hearing and will take it from there. I think it really depends on each child.
You know your kids. You be the parent. I think mis-informed kids don't hear ENOUGH about the birds and the bees. I think having an open and honest conversation about it with your children will help them to come to you for "real" answers in the future, trusting you to talk to them honestly. Better than hearing bad info from other kids!
As for me, my son is 4 yrs. He saw our "pet" grasshoppers in "position" a few times - male on top of the females back. Very casually I tell him that they are mating. We explain that "...they are making babies. Soon the big one, the female, will lay baby grasshopper eggs ..."
I think using the phrase "I'm glad you asked" helps children to know that it's good to ask parents questions! Then telling them the truth, of course, on their level. My son has not asked yet where REAL babies come from. But I will happily tell him ON HIS LEVEL though.
Side note - a friend came over yesterday with her 4th grader and 6th grader girls. She saw the bugs mating and told me that they haven't told her 4th grader about the "birds and the bees" yet. So when the daughter asked "Why is that one grasshopper on the other one's back?" mom told her it's b/c they're playing around and giving eachother a ride - like a piggy back ride. Sad. It's just nature! I'd have told the daughter the truth about mating if her mom hadn't warned me not to!
@Christy J - next time, please don't tell your children that your sister's baby came out of her stomach. "She was cut near her stomach" or "She was cut right here just below her stomach." or "The baby was growing in her uterus. They cut her uterus to get the baby out." Biggest pet peeve of mine. STOMACH is where food acids are, etc. No babies are in there ever, unless you are a sadistic cannibal.
My 2 year old knows that moms and dads kiss. The end. :)
When my 5 year old, then 4, asked where babies came from, I asked him "well, where do chickens come from?" (he said the store). I said before the store, where do they come from? He didn't know, so I grabbed an egg out of the fridge and said "What's this?" He was like "Um, white? Oval? Breakable? Egg?" LOL .... I cracked the egg and showed him the yolk, told him that if this egg had been fertilized and stayed nice and warm with its mom, that yellow would grow a little heart, a little beak, little wings, etc....it'd grow into a little chick. When the chick is big enough, it says "lemme outta here, lemme outta here!" and cracks the shell with its beak. He was impressed and staring hard at the egg, so then I said with babies, it's the same kind of thing: moms have eggs in them, and when dad fertilizes an egg, the egg grows into a baby until the baby is old enough and big enough to say "lemme outta here!" Then, we go to the hospital and the doctor helps the baby come out.
He did ask why chickens sit on their eggs but our eggs are inside. I said "Um, because........God is very kind. If I had to sit around on Victor's egg all day, I wouldn't have been able to take you to the pool, the zoo, dinosaur valley, or anywhere". Joseph agreed that would be very boring, and was happy we could carry Victor (little brother) around with us.
I DID seriously tell him not to tell his friends about this talk though. I said "Thank you for coming to me and asking me a big question like this. It makes me feel special and important to be able to talk to you. But don't tell your friends, because then their moms won't have the chance to feel special and important like I did, and that wouldn't be fair. Besides, every mom wants to tell their child in her OWN way". He said "Yeah, and moms need to do their OWN jobs", then went off happily to watch Curious George.
No more questions yet...I was waiting for him to ask me how an egg gets fertilized, but he didn't. He does understand that women/men have different bodies, what breasts are for (because he did ask why mine are big and dad's are tiny), but I purposely endeavor to know my children and to set a precedent now for open communication later...in all topics, not just "the talk".
My son is 6 and he's been asking since 2! He knows that babies grow in mom's womb. He also knows about umbilical cords because he's asked so many questions about his belly button!
He's asked how the baby gets there and I've told him we'll talk about it when he gets older. My concern is that he likes to try things out for himself. We've caught him attempting to get out kitchen appliances and power tools even though we've impressed upon him that these things are for grown ups to use. Needless to say I don't want to take the chance of him knowing about sex just yet. That's a call I sure don't want to get from school!
My daughter is 17 and I have been an open book as far as answering her questions as she grew up.
We have a very open relationship with communication and no topic is off limits. My mom would cringe if she heard some of our conversations...!!
My daughter who is 8 knows the scientific way babies are born. I don't want her to get caught up in the whole idea that only men and women can make babies together and any other way of creating or having babies is wrong. She has seen c-sections and vaginal births online. She personally wants to adopt a child when she is older. As far as the act of sex I haven't told her....yet. She understands what french kissing is and that anything including kissing is for two people who are serious about each other. In her own words "I'm a kid, a big kid kind of but kissing and hugging boyfriends or girlfriends is ewww. You're only supposed to hug and kiss your parents or grandparents."
Seeing as she starts 3rd grade in a couple of weeks I will continue to have our open dialogue about sex and any questions she has or anything she's heard about. I'm especially inquisitive about the types of things she does with her friends at school. While I don't think she's ready for the full sex talk, and neither am I ready to have it with her, I'm not naive enough to think I shouldn't.
9yo dd knows everything...she was asking lots of questions, so I got some books from library and went over all the mechanics and about getting periods etc. She's very small for her age, but some kids her age are already developing.
So far my 5 1/2 yr old knows that God made his mommy with girl parts, and daddy with boy parts, and that when God wants to give us a baby, He uses the mommy and daddy parts to make a baby. Simple enough for him right now. I'm sure within the next year or so he'll require further explanation.
A little girl in my neighborhood (I think she is about 7) already knows that breasts can be sexual, as I overheard her brother telling his friends that she was playing with her Justin Bieber doll and he heard her say, "Justin, stop touching my boobs!" WHY DOES A 7 YEAR OLD KNOW TO SAY THAT?! Ugh! Poor girl.
I think you know your children well enough to determine what they should and shouldn't know at this point. You are being responsible about it by basing your knowledge dissemination on their personalities and maturity.
Probably more than I think they do - LOL!
I have an 8 and 5 yo. Both boys.
They know about "parts" They aren't really curious about sex, but ask about how babies come out (my SIL just had a baby). She had a C-section so I told them the truth that her baby came out of a cut in her stomach.
usually when they ask me something I respond with a question just to be sure I am adding to what they already know, don't give them an answer they aren't looking for and correct any incorrect information.
Has been pretty good so far. allows for a bunch of little, timely communication about the subject.
my daughter was obsessed at 2 with how babies were made and how they came out and told M. she knew storks and god didnt "make" the babies and NEEDED to know
I answered only what she asked
how ware they made?
a boy has seeds (i dont know why i didnt say the technical term) and a woman has eggs and when they combine these ingredients a baby is made and grows in the mom
how do they come out?
through labor
whats labor?
and so on....
she has asked how the ingredients combined a few times, I'm waiting until she's atleast 6 or 7 to give the details on that
My GD is 10. She knows pretty much everything in detail. They had a sex education component to her health class last year and every day when we got home, she and I went into her room and discussed what they had learned so I know what she knows and I know that she has correct information. She doesn't feel the need to share this information with anyone - she is still embarassed by it. Yippee!
My oldest is 7. He knows how babies grow and develop. He thinks they all come out via c-section. I had 1 c-section and he saw my scar.
He does not know about intercourse or that he came out vaginally. He also knows what a miscarriage is--my sis had one last year.
When he's ready, he'll know!
