How Do You Know When You're Pushing Too Hard or Not Enough

Yes, I do 20-30 minutes of the summer bridge books. Sometimes Brain Quest books. Sometimes daily, sometimes 3x a week.

My boys just do it on their own. My daughter, I have to help more. Her times are shorter BC she is a dIfferent type of learner then my sons.

No one complains :-).

I adjust for rainy days/nice days, more active days, etc. , I keep it flexible.

I love seeing what they are learning, and I think it keeps them engaged.
I also think it helps them develop study habits.

I also use the summer for more social topics like how to deal with a bully, birds and bees, how to be assertive, alcohol/drug education just so that my kids are aware and know this is something we can openly discuss.

Mine also have 20-30 minutes of reading to do. With the boys they do it to relax at bedtime. When I am tired this allows them to stay up later and is a win/win situation. My daughter doesn't like to read so I do a few minutes with her in the am, and then she does it her own way in the pm.

I just try to keep it fun.

If they are struggling or getting crabby we end it right then, always with positive reinforcement.

Keep doing the good work :-)

I haven't the foggiest. My kid is nearly 4. We are beyond the what to expect milestones, and into the realm of academics. We both work, and don't do drop offs or pick ups. The summer camp and pre-school both have report cards, but the categories are vague, and include things like - able to care for self, demonstrates good listening etc.

We just do things that I think are fun, or suspect he might think of as fun, and try to build vocabulary through bridging. i.e. he knows about a pediatrician, and a vetrinarian, so we talk about the arborist and the dentist.

Best,
F. B.

The first month or so that the kids go back to school is reviewing what was done in the previous grade as the kids do forget over the long summer break. If more parents did what you do then the teachers would be able to introduce new material earlier. My kids have 30/31kids I their class ... You are lucky there is only 18.

I never bothered.
Our son's always learning - it's just not always 'classroom' stuff.
As it is - he pretty much always picked things up very quickly in school.
So quickly he'd get bored with repeating/reviewing over and over.
And with the classroom traveling at the pace of the slowest students there was always LOTS of reviewing.
We'd do zoos, aquariums, aerospace museum, Walking with Dinosaurs - fun learning that's not always sitting at a desk and slogging through work sheets.
If he enjoys what you're doing then more power to you.
If he's getting burnt out, try something different.

Surprisingly my oldest recently said she likes her workbooks over the summer bc she doesn't have homework. So if your son seems fine with it, ignore others. I would say I'm flexible though. They don't do "work" every day and certainly not on weekends. I've seen volunteering that kids are who they are and maybe you can help along but trying to force a kid to be advanced if they aren't naturally eventually catches up. So why are you doing this? Bc you want to be able to say your kids are advanced? Or he needs extra help? Just be honest with yourself. And like I said, I'd be flexible. I certainly don't want my kids to look back and feel like they were never off the treadmill. Every day of their lives something was expected... Kids only get summer when they're kids. And an hour is pretty long. My kids have never done an hour every day and my oldest is 10.

Eta- interesting you say he is GT. That is very young to be labeled in school and you're also lucky he has such a small class. Under 20? Wow. If he is having trouble grasping things without this summer review, I'd wonder about the GT label. Our school doesn't have that but I've never claimed my kids are GT yet also not worried they'd have trouble grasping concepts at that young age and their class size is way bigger. And honor roll in 2nd grade? Very different.

I think your kids will let you know when it's "too much."
Personally I would HATE sitting down every day to do school stuff during the summer with my kids. Of course I read to them, every day, and loved that. Most of the games we played involved math/strategy/problem solving. They did day camps and classes that kept their skills sharp, so I just never saw the need.
But hey, if the three of you are digging it then who cares what anyone else thinks, right?

My son is also going into third grade. IMO, summer is for unstructured learning - the kind he picks up from catching crayfish in the creek, swimming and hiking. There will be plenty of time for school work during school time. I actually feel the same way about homework - if they can't fit it into the 6 hours a day they get at school, it can wait until tomorrow.

ETA - that is interesting about GT. My son's GT program makes a point of not giving homework during the year and never giving work over the summer. Seems like there are some very different approaches.

It's too much when it makes your home miserable. If your son is thriving and it's not a miserable battle, then it's great!

One hour a day isn't excessive, and he might be enjoying the one-on-one attention from mom. If at any time it starts to become unpleasant, drop it and do something else fun with him.

I imagine you think your work makes a huge difference to his future education and that he needs you to do this. Why? Is he behind most of the year? This is to get him up to speed so he'll be at the same starting level as the kids coming in and that have forgotten some stuff over the summer? If he's behind then this is definitely the year he needs it.

Is this for you? So you feel like you're doing a good job? I think that taking the time to take the kids to do things as a family, like the OKC Zoo, rock climbing downtown, hiking in appropriate areas, going and spending at least one full day, open to close, at the Oklahoma Science Museum. More like several days over the summer. Or we go out to the Tuttle Tiger Safari to feed tigers and experience all the wonderful animals that populate our earth.

We went to Dinosaur National Monument and some other science places in Utah, my daughter still remembers them letting her touch a dinosaur bone.

School is supposed to be fun in the elementary school years. They're supposed to play games to learn math and spelling and they're supposed to pull out items and do science projects. They're not supposed to sit for hours and hours doing book work.

This makes kids hate school and they actually test lower when they're pushed at home.

I do think this is incredibly sad for this little guy. Is he behind? A slow learner? Then I guess you do need to do this all summer with him.

I loved learning as a young kid. I loved going to school and was upset when it was the weekend. But my parents took that away from me. They made learning a chore. I stopped learning some topics and those issues are still with me today.

So I have a strong bias against making kids do work just to appease an adults ego. If that's what this is then please find another way to fill that inside you.

Taking him on adventures where he'll learn about life and the world we live in will make much more difference.

Psh. I do the same thing with my 4yo. Every day, we take an hour to work on the speech packet her therapy teacher sent home for the summer, read a book, and work on some math games.

She actually gets mad at me on the days I suggest we skip her "homework." We went camping for a week, and I caught her playing her own math games with sticks and rocks.

Learning is an ongoing experience... It doesn't end just because school lets out... And an hour a day can make a HUGE difference in academic learning, and only takes a tiny bit of time out of the grand scheme of the summer.

there's really not a right or wrong answer for this. it sounds as if your kids are fine with it, you and your husband are on board, so clearly this works for your family. if your kids were pushing back and rebelling, or missing out on fun summer activities, you might need to take a second look.
we homeschooled year round, but i tell you true, we always took it easier during the summer. summer is made for fun. but an hour a day shouldn't get in the way of fun, should it?
when my boys were in school i didn't really have them do anything formal during the summer. we're a 'the world is your oyster' sort of family, and we read together obsessively, so i don't think my kids backslid, at least not much. but it sounds as if your family has hit its rhythm, so i would just grin at your naysayer friends and toss it back with something like 'yeah, but once i finish with the bastinadoes, we make cupcakes!'
don't take it so much to heart.
khairete
S.

I'd tell your friends to shove off, personally. They probably feel guilty for having done nothing with their own kids all summer. Here's the thing. If you were drilling him on multiplication facts 8 hours per day, 6 days per week, I'd say, okay Tiger Mom, calm down. But you're not. An hour a day is perfect. Keeps him engaged, helps him immensely during the school year, and boosts his confidence. What's not to love?

kids always get summer work (math and reading), which i dislike. summers are for fun. there are 10 months a year they are slaving over schoolwork, homework, and studying.
i don't think you're a fun sucker, i just don't agree with it.

An hour a day is completely reasonable. My kids do the same, but have an extra hour for their music and chores time. I think it's great. It builds their confidence and prepares them for the next year. All the teachers at our school beg the parents to do a little a day over the summer. It really does help keep their skills up. You shouldn't feel bad about him working a little. Structure and routine actually help my kids thrive in the summer. We have plenty of play time too.

I don't see a problem with it. If you were keeping him to it regular school hours, I might feel bad for him but one hour a day? I think it's great. I think having so much time off in the summer is bad for kids, school wise, so doing a little a day will keep your kiddo from forgetting everything he learned last year. Good for you!

Don't judge yourself by what your friends or neighbors think.

You might ask yourself this, privately. How much of this schedule is for your son, and how much is for you? If there's any thought in the back of your mind (and I'm not saying there is!) that you're such a good mama by doing this program, you might want to rethink that.

Otherwise, do what you think is best in your family and don't be pressured to do otherwise! If it's beneficial to your family, don't be embarrassed. It might just be helpful to find some friends who are on the same page as you and your husband.

We do the same every summer. I don't really care what other parents think. The have violin, piano, and workbooks every day. They think the workbooks are fun and pretty easy. It just keeps them engaged. My friends complain their kids are lumps and their kids forget all their math facts, etc. And when the school year starts, their kids are thrown by homework. Mine hit the ground running every year.

But my question to you is, if it works for you and your family, why do you care what others say and do? Why are you even discussing it with other families? I have one friend who knows that we workbooks because she does them too. Other than that, it's not a debatable issue or a topic I seek advice from others on because, frankly, it works for us and that's the end of it.

If your son is happy and comfortable with what you're doing, then what you're doing is right. Your "friends" can go pound sand.

I've always done supplementary homeschooling with my son. The only difference is that we try not to cover the same material as at school; we try to expand on it. We've done lots of kitchen chemistry projects, with variables, controls, etc. The whole scientific method. I also read to him constantly, until he taught himself to read.

Really, I think anything you can do to make learning fun, to spark creativity and intellectual curiosity, is fantastic. I'd be a little less focused on covering the same material as in the classroom, but that's a subtle distinction.

There are a lot of adults who still have a bad attitude toward school, carried over from their own childhoods. That's understandable in many, many cases, but they don't always make the best parenting role models.

Great answers already. I know I'm expecting too much or pushing too hard by the kids behavior. When my daughter was 4 was laid off from my job in August. I tried to enroll her in Head Start (due to my new lack of finances) and it was wait listed. I tried to work on schoolwork at home-using many different methods. She wasn't having it. I finally tried ABC Mouse a few times a week (I considered it screen time-which is not an every day occurrence) and she did great. By the time Kidnergarten started she was well ahead of the rest and ready to go! Even her teacher was impressed with how well she wrote her name (8 letters in the first alone).

Either your friends and acquaintances are ribbing you or you need new ones!! Or stop telling them how you do it and they will be begging for advice when your kids hit the ground running!!!

I don't think so. I work full time and my kids go to a daycare/pre-school typed of school and they are still doing classwork for a couple of hours in the morning. So I don't see the difference between them having to do it in school or a summer camp.

I think you will know you are pushing too hard if your child tells you so. If your child is disappointed that he is unable to participate in fun activities and outings with his friends because he has to do his homework, or if he is stressed trying to get his homework out of the way to get to his activities etc. I know I wouldn't be able to carve out an hour a day to do this. I'm already short on summertime fun hours as it is, and trying to squeeze in some downtime is pretty tough too! So much to do and so little time!

I think what you are doing is fine. When my kids were younger they did a lot of reading over the summer. A lot of the other moms thought that was stupid but I always figured that it was none of their business.

If you and your kids are happy with this routine then it works for you! Do you ever limit your sons activities because of this routing? Not being able to spend the night with friends or being able to go to a camp with a buddy or being able to do something special with a friend/family early in the day? Perhaps your friends feel he is missing out on some of those things or they are just a little guilty that they are not doing that with their kids. We used to take the first part of the summer off and do some educational field trips or camps or creative play and learning. We also would have DEAR time - "Drop Everything and Read" time including Mom. In August about 2 weeks before school started, we started something a little more formal - kind of like what you did all summer. I wanted them to be in the mode for waking up early in the morning, getting breakfast & ready for learning before the first day of school.

My kids are 4 and 6 (going into K and 2nd grade) and we do this as well. I am not very good about doing it daily but I did start yesterday and plan on having them do it every day. Not for an hour - probably 10-20 minutes or at least fill out a few pages. I think it's great to bridge the gap between the end of the school year and beginning of the next. It's something they can do in the car, at home, at a restaurant, etc. And it's great for teaching my soon to be Kindergartener about being in school since he's been home with Dad most of his life (dad works weekends). Good job mama!

I D. the same with my kids. They are the same age as yours. It helps them to have a sort of structure from early on.