How Do You Bring Yourself Up?

have a drink and go out with friends
read emmy a book while cuddling
watch emmy sleep

hmmm
when i was single...making out with a guy i met at a bar was always fun. i was a kissing slut...nothing more though=) but still found a high in some gorgeous guy grabbing the back of my head with the exact amount of force to show he was in charge but still passioante and pulling M. and kissing M. ...yes ladies ..confession time...i was that girl at the bar you talked about kissing random guys after divorce=)

My divorce was truly awful but it was also a gift. I learned that every day the sun comes up and every night the sun goes down and if I survive the in between I have another day under my belt.

What I mean is if you focus on the big picture, like in that case had I looked at everything I was going to go through I would have thought it impossible, but here I am. :) When I looked at five and a half years of college crammed into four years while working full time, I would have thought it impossible, but I graduated.

When you look at everything you will go through and do from now until the day you die it can seem impossible but taking it one day at a time is more manageable.

What is it about the fiscal cliff that scares you? I ask because I have found when I understand things they aren't as scary. If the worst case happens you are looking at 5% more in taxes, if you even make above a threshold which is around 10 to 50 thousand depending on how many kids you have blah blah blah. If your job, however shitty it is, is not at risk then you are not subject to the employer side of the equation. It sucks for you only in that you will not be able to find a different job. You are surviving, miserable but surviving, in your current job, is that so bad?

I don't know if any of this helps but if you cannot tell, knowledge is my happy place.

Turning off the news works pretty well.
Don't watch it on tv, don't listen to it on the radio and don't read it online (or in a newspaper or magazine).
Try to take a walk or get outside for a little bit everyday.
Watch some movies - comedy ('The Money Pit' and 'Arsenic and Old Lace' and a few Abbot and Costello movies are favorites of mine) and have a good laugh - don't forget to pop some popcorn!

As far as education, I would be willing to bet you are eligible for grant money, as well as any number of scholarships. Go to your local community college and talk to their financial aid department. Most schools have entire departments devoted to finding the money for your education and a community college will be less expensive than a university.

Focus on your blessings. There are a number of studies done that show how lucky or unlucky a person is, is only a matter of perspective. You have a wonderful daughter, you are employed (it is easier to get a new job when you already have one), and you are willing to work to make it to where you want to be.

Find your passion and follow it. That doesn't necessarily mean employment but it can. It also can be your relationships, hobbies, charity, or recreation.

Think hard about the person you want to be, develop goals, and pursue them. It is easy to drift when you have no direction. You seem to be looking around you and only seeing walls. Walls were meant to be climbed, so pick a wall and climb it. I am partial to the education goal, but that is me. It was a hard wall to climb, but totally worth it.

Take a personal day and go talk to a career counselor or education counselor at a local school. Ask about programs available for you. There is financial aide available to help with tution. You may also be able to take personality test, that will help you to decide which major or program is best suited for your lifestyle and personality. This will help you to get into a career that you will enjoy.

No one should be miserable in their job, but I've been there, so I do understand. As a single Mom you know you need to work but hate going to a particular job. Start looking for something else. When you start looking look for a company that allows for flex time and tution re-embursment.

It would help to know what kind of job you have now and what you would really like to be doing.

I've been a single mom working full time for a very long time. I am usually so valuable at my jobs that the place falls apart if I have to leave early for a medical appointment. That's good on one hand....bad on the other. Male bosses, especially, have been very inflexible. However, missing work means missing money, so I never pushed too hard about things.

I have a friend who works full time. So does her husband. They have three kids under the age of 6. She gets scholarships and grants for her online school. She has a couple months left of her BS degree and then will start her Master's program. She has a gruelling schedule, but she does homework with her laptop on her lunch hours and after her kids are in bed.
It CAN be done.

As far as the Fiscal Cliff, be careful what you read and who you listen to. I'm not saying to be ignorant, just don't let yourself freak out about something that hasn't happened.

Don't borrow trouble.

Don't get into "the sky is falling" thing. You'll send yourself right into panic attacks.

Remember Y2K? The whole world was supposed to shut down and come unglued and guess what? It didn't. According to the Mayan calendar, the world was supposed to end. People have been predicting that type of stuff for centuries upon centuries. We're still here.

A lot of people are "just getting by". A lot of people are far worse off than we are.

When I get in a funk, I rely on my sense of humor. I watch funny movies. I listen to uplifting music. And yes, I pray. I mostly give thanks for what I have as opposed to asking for what I don't have.

I have a thing that hangs in my living room that says,
"Lord, Let me appreciate the wait as well as the answer".

Find something to laugh about every single day.
Laughter really is the best medicine.

Here are a couple of good songs that make me feel happy. Ignore the comments at the bottom, just listen for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYi7uEvEEmk
Lovely Day - Bill Withers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzNvpHxWO8c&feature=re...
Break it Down Again - Tears for Fears

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwgWHYcodg0
Canned Heat - Jamiroqui

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9tPiUckBSM
Brenda Russel/Oleta Adams - We Will Find a Way
(the best version I could find was posted regarding eating disorders, but still a favorite and inspiring song)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrpaOyfIIeY
Burning Spear - Estimated Prophet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv1lJnTbQ60
Christina Aguilera - Beautiful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6sqA9QtV5I
Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie

So, if you want some happy movies, I can give you a list.
I resort to many of them often.

Just find ways to build yourself up, and I promise it does really help.

You can get yourself out of your funk.

Best wishes.

P.S.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-REi5Bjdie0
Incubus - Drive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6mKMV0d2cs
Cat Stevens - Peace Train

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQvmCzILBfE
Love Train - O'Jays

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kNGnIKUdMI
My Sweet Lord - George Harrison

These are all uplifting songs for me. Funny movies are a second best.

The sillier the better.

Best wishes.

Kali, first stop reading the stuff about the fiscal cliff. If you want to "do" something, write your congressman and tell him to deal in good faith with our president to work FOR the American people rather than putting politics ahead of his actual job. Second, get your resume together. You may need to talk to a job counselor to help you get an idea of what you might want to do instead of what you are doing now.

Looking for a job IS a job. If you want to spend more time with your daughter, you may have to spend less time with her first in order to job hunt. And you'll have to job hunt at the same time you are working.

As sad as you are right now, I think that perhaps you would best be served by seeing a counselor and getting yourself out of your funk before you start interviewing. You owe it to yourself and your child to get through this. The time you DO have at home with her needs to be quality time without you stressing about fiscal cliffs and doom and gloom. She can feel your doom and gloom and it shouldn't be part of her home life.

Play music - whatever makes you feel better - at home. Keep the TV OFF if you can't tear yourself away from the news. Don't read weepy novels or articles. Only read happy things right now. I don't read sad books anymore myself. None. I suggest that you stay away from them too. You can google something like "uplifting Bible passages/prayers" or something like that if you'd like.

Most of all, tell yourself every morning that you are going to try hard in your job. Work hard throughout the day, and at the end of the day, leave work AT WORK. Don't think about the job when you walk out the door. Only think about home then. Put a smile on your face when you get to work even though you don't feel like it. People will react to your smile so much better than if you are sad at work. When they react better to you, it will help you feel better too.

I'm so sorry that work is the pits right now. Perhaps it will get better. If you position yourself to be ready to start sending out resumes, it will help you feel more hopeful in case you really need to and decide to job hunt.

Keep your chin up, okay?

Dawn

Youtube and look at funniest videos or "failblog" ...I did this last night to "reset"

Have you considered looking for a more progressive employer, for example a university, where you could work and get discounted tuition? A number of large companies also have education programs, where they will help pay for your education, if you can show how it relates to your current job.

I just finished reading 'I Declare' by Joel Osteen, and I LOVED IT! It really picked me up and gave me such hope and strength! It's only $9.99 on Kindle. It's so good! I'm going to read it over and over and over again! I think there may be excerpts from it you can sample for free on Amazon. I'd share some with you, but it doesn't let me highlight /copy/paste :/ I know you will feel better soon! God is working in your favor!!