How Do I Teach/organize My Kids to Do Their Own Laundry?

Updated on May 04, 2008
S.A. asks from Fayetteville, NC
32 answers

Hi
I am a single mom of four kids...18, 15, 13, 11. My 18 year old does his own laundry, but my other three are used to me doing it. I've been doing it and living under the clothes mountain. I realize that it's about time to train my kids to do it themselves, but I don't know how to help them organize themselves or develop a routine. I never lived by a routine growing up and learned responsibility the hard way. Should they each have their own laundry day? Do they each get their own hamper and wash when it's full? What are some of your ideas? I would love some advice in dealing with unmotivated teens. Same with their rooms. I always have to tell them to clean it. How do you get your kids to take ownership of their room and hang up clothes, pick up, etc...etc...

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for your responses and advice. It really helps. I think that I've been in survival mode for so long, (it's easier to do it myself!) that I didn't realize i was really doing a disservice to my kids by not teaching them to care for themselves. So thanks. It's encouraging to see the different ideas and that there isn't just one way to do it. There are several things that I know will work for us. Thanks again and God bless.

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L.

answers from Charlotte on

You can go to Flylady.net. It's free and she has lots of great suggestions and help with every aspect of home organization - including teaching kids to do it. Hope it helps! Blessings to you.

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

I find that a round, $1 basket holds a good load. Separating is the problem, that is why I would not want them doing the wash all in one load. The ideal would be, to assign a task for a week. So, they would all mark their clothes, and the first kid would sort, and do a load of jeans. Then a load of wash and wear etc. Maybe another would fold, or that would be a one day assignment. Or, they each do their own when their basket gets full, or, are assigned their washdays. This should have been going on for years. When I work with college kids, I see that they don't know anything about washing clothes, they put it all together and wear whatever it is that has red dye all over it.
Spend a day with each one on one teaching them. They may not do it, but they will have learned. You are a brave, stong woman,

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B.S.

answers from Huntington on

here is what i do , show them and have them denonstrate. If they don't help,no clean clothes for them! there has to be consequences for everything!

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K.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

Hi S.,

My kids do a pretty darn good job taking care of the laundry and cleaning up there rooms. For the laundry I would make it a team effort, as it can seem very overwhelming. The youngest can sort the laundry, and fix inside out socks. The 13 year old can be in charge of making sure the laundry gets into the washer and dryer and the 15 year old is in charge of folding everything. When folding each child should have their own pile. When the 15 year old is done folding he/she calls everyone out to take their piles to their room and put them away. If it is a really overwheling week of laundry, or just to much on the scedule I call everyone to come and fold and put away laundry. This method takes about 15-20 minutes for all of the family laundry to be put away. Yep, every load.

As for keeping the rooms clean, there is some effort in this. Twice a year I help the girls clean out their room. By clean I mean purge old, and broke toys. It's a little like mom's version of "Clean House." After that I have an impound yard (18 gallon plastic tub) that if I find things not put away when they go to bed it gets impounded and they have to pay 25 cents and item to get it back. The first 2 weeks we did this I collected $34 for charity. And yes, I did allow the kids to put our stuff in impound. I can't tell you how many times my husband had to pay to get his wallet and sunglasses out. I found this idea in a book called "Boundries with Kids" which can usually be found in the Christian section of any book store.

Good luck and happy laundry!

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R.P.

answers from Memphis on

First I would teach them how to do the laundry. Separating the colors and all that. Then let them know that it is now their responsibility and under no circumstances will you be doing it for them. If they don't get it done, they don't have clean clothes to wear. After that happens once or twice they will learn to keep up with it. That's how my mom got my brother and me to do ours. Now, my 4 and 7 year olds put up their folded clothes already.

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

I think a seperate laundry day is a great idea. I would help each of them for 2 weeks to get the idea and how to wash and fold laundry, after that they are on their own!

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K.P.

answers from Raleigh on

And I thought I had laundry mountains. About 2 years ago, I took each of my sons (14, 14, and 8) to the laundry room for a class. I went through how to use the machine, how to read the labels and also how to tell if the bin was too full. I gave each a day to do laundry and no one would do laundry on that day but that person until finished.

It took a week to get the routine in place. The laundry baskets were placed in each room and each week like clockwork, laundry was done.

At 11, 13, and 15 your kids are into fashion and looking good. Forgetting to do their laundry will give them limited clothes to wear and their favorite clothes may be at the bottom of the basket.

I still do my laundry and the household laundry (towels and such). It does take a burden off and it gives the kids an opportunity to take care of their clothes. Designer clothes are expensive and they care about how they look and are seen by their friends. Hope this helps.

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S.H.

answers from Fayetteville on

I gave my kids 2 basket one for white clothes and one for the rest and gave them all thier own days to do their laundry, they also had to make sure it was put away the same day. If they did not do it on their day they were out of lucky until the next week. Cleaning their room they also had their day for that, I gave them a check list so they would learn to do it right. If they did not do it they were on restriction.After a few times of getting grounded and seeing that I was serious they caught on. Another problem I had was towels they would use up all the towels, so I bought them their own color and gave them 4 apiece. that helped cut down on the mound of towels I was washing in a week. Hope this helps. S.

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C.C.

answers from Knoxville on

I had this problem with my kids also - three boys. Give them each their own laundry basket and teach them how to wash whites and colours seperately. They may have to have an assigined laundry day since there are four of them. As far as the rooms are concerned, my solution was to shut their doors. I insisted they help keep the living room and kitchen clean by picking up their own stuff, but their rooms are their own and if they don't mind the mess, why fight about it?
Good luck!

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A.L.

answers from Charlotte on

Yes, a schedule is definitely a good way to go. My now 13 year old had to be put on a "do you own laundry from now on" regimen as well. I just could not do hers, mine and my 7 year olds, and the newborn baby's clothes any longer. It was too much. So, I went to Walmart and bought a couple of those foldup material hampers that comes in cool colors for each of them and myself. I do my son's and my laundry together. My husband likes to do his own. I told my daughter "This red laundry is your personal laundry basket. You will now have the responsibility to do your own laundry. If you do not, then you will not have clean clothes. So, it is up to you. When you are ready to do it, let me know, so that I can approve the loads and make sure you are doing it correctly to avoid you messing up your clothes." She learned quickly thereafter when she ran out of clean clothes. It was like a swim or drown lesson. Now, she even inquires with me, my son, or my husband if she does not have a full load as to whether we have any whites, colors, or neutrals that need washing to add to her loads. I still have to get on her about her linen and bath towel, go figure, but she is on her way : ). My 7 year old is learning as well because if his basket gets full, he'll ask if we can wash his clothes or if he can separate the clothes.

Hope this helped even a little.

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A.H.

answers from Greensboro on

This is sort of tongue and cheek but here's what worked for my mom (mother of 4):

1- We each had a hamper in our own room.
2- We only had a TV in our basement and our bedrooms were on top floor. During the Cosby Show or some other riveting bit of TV, she'd holler down, "I'm doing the laundry now, bring me your hamper and I'll do it." We knew we had a choice - miss a few minutes of our favorite show or it would be up to us to do our laundry later. We must have been exceptionally obsessed with TV but we never did seem to go up and get our laundry for her. Which meant of course that we did it later.
3- She also "ruined" one or two things of my older sisters by shrinking them too much, etc. She would just shrug her shoulders and say, "If you want your clothes done a certain way, you're going to have to do them yourselves." That also prompted us to learn laundry procedures at an early age.
4- She also taped very clear, step by step instructions on the cabinets above the washer/dryer so that if you could read, you could manage laundry!

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K.K.

answers from Charlotte on

HI S.:
It sounds like you already have a plan that may work! Having each kiddo take a day and have their own hamper is a great idea! If they play sports and have stinky stuff that needs to go in more often, you may need to offer an extra day for each of them. Have you ever read any of Dave Ramsey's stuff? He has great advice for teens and their finances, also gives tips on motivating them. For instance, some jobs in the house they do for no payment because they live there. Others they get payment for. Do you have a church home? I wonder if there is a lady there who has raised teens that could come beside you to encourage you. Sounds to me like you are doing alot of things right! Your obvious love and concern for their character speaks volumes. Hang in there.
K. K.

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A.C.

answers from Louisville on

When they do not do as they are told the first time do you have punishments? do you let them run out of clothes, take away phone time, computer time, car keys etc.? I am having a very hard time with my 15 year old right now myself. The only thing that works is motivation, and subsequently instilling a conscience in them. I'm glad you use the word training instead of raising. I tell them when I do laundry to gather all their stuff and bring it to the bathroom, much easier though with my son who is 13 and strips off in the bathroom at night before his shower. I usually do their laundry myself, and assign other chores for them, but on occasion when my daughter runs out of the clothes she wants to wear she will do it. I do dark, delicates, whites, towels, sheets in separate loads and they only care about doing clothes usually when they want something. So I guess have them learn to sort, then put in full loads, make them separate their own from each others when done, if they want to conserve, which all kids are learning to do that. I buy only black socks & underpants, so no bleach for those needed. When they fold laundry, they sort by piles for each one. Lost socks go in a drawer. A hamper for each is a great idea if you have room for them, my home is small. We gather up and throw in a big hamper in the bath/laundry room, and do laundry every day, usually heaping loads, at night or in the morning early, otherwise everything gets wrinkled when we get around to folding....this is just my way...take care

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S.B.

answers from Charlotte on

I basically do the laundry also but have taught my boys all basic house work chores..dishes,laundry,vacuming,floor washing...and they have done it.Not because they HAD to because they wanted to..of course this was when they were younger..much much younger and helping mom was fun..lol.back on topic my boys have a basket in their room and when I do laundry I go get theirs to make sure I have a full load instead of a partial load.How to get them to do their own at the ages they are??I would tell them how to do laundry..seperate,use washer and dryer and show them once.Then tell them they are on their own when it comes to their laundry.When the basket is full..wash..if they run out of clothes or dont have what they want to wear for school Monday..not your problem...or...have the oldest do the laundry since he/she already does theirs.The oldest could sort,wash,dry and fold but not put away and that would help you.I know thats what I did when I lived at home..good luck
S. B

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B.D.

answers from Greensboro on

S.,
*Let them know mom needs some help!
*Separate Laundry baskets for each child
*Show them to separate dark and lights
*Ask them to check all pockets (keep a "lost and found" box in laundry area anyways)
*Definitely assist 11 & 13 year old (they should probably share the laundry duty between just the two of them)
*Laundry day should be when they have a full load (not when they need a pair of special jeans the next day)
*Should the special jeans be needed, show them how to HandWash in the sink and dry on a line or drying rack
*Encourage them use of the free sunshine with a line outside. If you don't have an area for that - invest in drying rack (very benefical in the winter months when we need to add moisture to the air anyways)
*Use measuring cups for laundry detergent and fabric softner - make sure you mark a line on the inside of measuring cup so they can more easily see the fill line.
*Pay per load - if you have the funds...let them know that you will pay for their services. Payment based on a FULL load that is washed dryed and PUT AWAY. Encourage a "bonus" pay for anyone that hangs cloths on line outside to dry (since this is saving a bunch of money).
*Keep monitoring laundry baskets, but learn to walk away and let them take control of this chore (this is the hardest part since it is our instinct to "just do it"

*God bless

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J.N.

answers from Nashville on

S.,
I would definitely get them each their own hamper AND give them a day to do their laundry. If they don't get it done that day, then they have to wait til it is not someone else's day - and mom gets 2 days because I suspect it will not get you out of doing the towels! If more than one does not get theirs done on their day then they just have to wait until "their day". I started doing my own laundry voluntarily at 11 so there is no reason you should have to do it for everyone. I do wash all the laundry here, but my kids (9 and 12) have to fold and put away their own. And my friend Tammie solved the "I forgot" problem by simply locking the laundry room door for one week. Her girls didn't forget again!
As for unmotivated kids, if my kids don't clean their rooms (or do any of their other chores for that matter!) I clean it for them MY way - AND they have to pay me. If they want maid service, they have to pay for it just as I would! It seems to be a very good motivator because I don't get paid for their chores very often any more!
I hope this helps.
Good luck and God Bless!
J.

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D.O.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi S.,
I raised my kids alone also and I started them out early to help me around the house. My suggestion would be to talk to them about helping you out first and then show them how you want them to do their laundry and give them a hamper and explain about washing whites, and colored clothes separate and let them know you will be checking on them and the main thing is to be consistent and trust your faith in
GOD to help you and them to get thru this part of your lives.
Kids love to push your buttons and they react to how we react,
its kinda of like not letting dogs sense your fear, for me I feel its like that with our kids, they love to see what and how far they can push our buttons. Just pray and be consistent with what ever you decide to do.
De

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N.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi,
Ask them after reading all these wonderful responses which they prefer...just for laughs. I started doing my own laundry at 12 after mom ruined one of my fashionable items, and so did my 11 yr old brother. Let's face it...a monkey can do laundry and if they can ride a bike and work a video game they can figure out laundry. The little pop up hampers so many have mentioned are only $1.00 at some dollar stores. They also have colored baskets. I am a big fan of the idea of each child having an assigned color for their towels and laundry baskets. At a glance you know who has the job finished and where things go.
ALSO...my fave tip...I use one of those clear plastic bags with a zipper that came with my new blanket for "mateless" socks. We don't sweat it if we find a singleton...just put it in there and have a matching up session every so often. It fits easily between the wall and the washing machine. When desperate they will dig in there for an "it'll do pair".

I was just having issues with "chore attitude" and your question and the resulting answers have inspired me to fight the good fight. I am building bridges to my future daughter-in-laws as I train up my boys. If you don't train them to pull their weight with their chores, then you ARE teaching them to train women to become their servants. I tell my sons that their future brides will appreciate them for doing their chores cheerfully.
Blessings to you...sounds like you are an awesome mom
N.

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K.P.

answers from Louisville on

I have 5 kids, the youngest is still at home. A couple of things I have done. Our kids have cell phones. If their room isn't clean in the morning (bed made and clothes picked up) they don't get their phone that day. I always try to find something they like (TV, computer, cell phone, etc) and tie consequences into that. I believe that teaching kids consequences is as important as anything (in the world and eternally).
I have a system for laundry that has worked for about 15 years now. I have a laundry basket for each kid wherever I fold laundry. Their name is in the bottom of the basket. I do laundry, fold it and they have to empty it every day. I like this, only because I don't want a laundry day for me, and I don't want my kids taking my laundry out and stuffing it in a random basket to wrinkle. At times I have had the laundry room between the kitchen and familyroom and then I also would put books, toys, IPods, etc in their baskets to be put away with the laundry. It makes housework easier for everyone. I tried to get my kids to do their own laundry and could never get it to work but every family is different. Maybe it could be on a family chore chart, they would only have the job for one week along with dishes, trash, etc. They could still use the basket system. Good luck.

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N.G.

answers from Clarksville on

Hi S.!! I am also a mother of four..(13,11,5, and 14 months.) I actually taught my oldest two boys how to iron and do laundry when they were 6 and 5 yrs. old. Now don't panic, I always supervised them when they ironed!!!! I stressed caution, but I made it an enjoyable experience for them. I learned to encourage them instead of yelling or getting frustrated when they didn't pick things up as quick as I thought they should. Yes, they have their own hampers and do their own laundry. They wash, dry, fold and hang up their things. It's not too late to get them on a routine/schedule, you just have to decide what works best for you and your family. As far as household chores: they know if they don't take care of what they need to ie.. schoolwork, homework, cleaning rooms//bathrooms/kitchen, then they receive no allowances, no trips to the movies/skating rink with friends. No video game playing, no internet activities, etc..... Set some rules and guidelines and let them know who,what,when,and where!! Discard Why??(They know why) Make sure when you do this that you follow up on things. Stay consistent and on top of their progress or regress!! Address any and all issues/concerns immediately!!!! Again, find out what works for you and use it!!! I believe progress has many roads, find yours!!!!! Good Luck and God Bless!!!

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D.W.

answers from Memphis on

I have three kids and I have decided that when they come to a certain age they will do their own laundry. Here's what I have decided for my family. Each child will get their own laundry hamper that they will keep in their room. We wash all our clothes together and don't seperate because we don't use harmful chemicals like bleach so I wont need to teach them to seperate colors. They each will get a laundry day where they will be responsible to do their laundry. If it doesn't get done then they will discover the effects of their laziness. When the day comes for them to do their own laundry, I will do it with them for a day to teach them how it's done and how to hang what clothes and fold the ones that's needed. Then have them put it all away in their place. In our home, since there are so many of us, we all have responsibilities and one day their laundry will be one of them.

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H.C.

answers from Hickory on

First, I decided their rooms are theirs as long as they are safe and sanitary. I have my kids (10, 13,15) clean their rooms once a week, which means I can see the floor! I have made that easier for my older 2 with buckets (my son) and baskets (my daughter) to toss their clothes in. Yes, toss! They look reasonably presentable going to school, so I don't fret.

For laundry, I have them put all their dirty clothes in their own hamper (in their room). I started by having a wash day for each, but then decided they would be better moved to do their laundry when they ran out of clothes than by my nagging. Each knows how to sort their clothes and how to run the washer/dryer and we have them wash their own clothes from time to time, but most often I run them through, toss them in a hamper and deliver them (unfolded) to their room. I give them a time limit on when to have the clothes away and the hamper returned to the laundry room.

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M.W.

answers from Huntington on

I have 7 kids, so as of first grade, they were each responsible for their own laundry. Each child had their own laundry basket. I encouraged cooperation among the kids. For instance, in the girls room, they each had their own basket, but one would do all the jeans, one would do all the light colors, one would do the rest of the darks, one would do all the delicate things. The boys, weren't all that concerned about greying whites, or cooperation, so they usually just each did their own. We have a pitifully small water heater for such a big family, so baths, laundry & dishes had to be timed not to coincide. We had a chore schedule, so each one knew when it was his or her turn to do the laundry. If someone needed some particular item washed ASAP, when it was not their washday, they just asked the person whose day it was if they could throw it in with theirs.
Oh, BTW, the summer before they were expected to start doing their own laundry, they would help me, so they could learn the finer points of sorting, choosing water temp. etc. I used the same technique for all the chores... cooking, dishwashing, etc.
Another BTW, I love those Oxi Clean detergent balls, no measuring, no mess! Handy at home, laundramats & college dorms! And they save money as well as hassle!
M.

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Z.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

Say "NO" thats the Hard part.The ROOMS not clean then "NO CELL" "NO TV" NO GAMES" "NO U CAN'T GO" this Next One is pushing it but "NO Food" Until after your Room is Clean You Knew It was dirty & You Knew you where wantting 2 eat.
They're Old enough to Know YOU Like a Book & KNOW How to get away with Everything! Its You against the 3 YOU LOVE & No is hard to say.
The Clothes As they take them off put them in there own dirty clothes stakes.(In something) If there is not enough 4 a full load. I turn down my water level then after turn it back up as SOON as I get the clothes out to dry.I made it FUN at a YOUNG age they think there doing something BIG then. I'd set Days 4 each to use the washer If they didn't wash on that day I'd have them wash EVERYONES CLOTHES.The one that didn't wash will wash his clothes the next time!:-)Clean Brother R Sister rooms works also 4 the Dirty roomer cuz they want"No" one in there stuff. Set Back MOM with U'r Feet up You've done enough!PS Never Cleaned My Bro.ROOM :-)Well I had 2 some but he was going 2 tell on me 4 talking on the phone when I was grounded.Glad thous DAYS R GONE & I Still LOVE MY BROTHER!!

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N.P.

answers from Knoxville on

You sound overloaded and I'm not talking about your washer. I taught for years and I know the work load there is huge. Have you considered that you really don't want them to do their own work? If they did, would you feel unneeded? Do you feel sorry for them because they lost their dad? I think if I were in your shoes that I would feel guilty and want to makeup for their loss. Actually, when you are a single parent you not only have double duty but then you multiply that times four and you're up to your eyeballs in duties. There aren't enough hours in the day. I have a strong faith that God sees us through the valleys but I also think that he may be telling you to think of yourself now. I taught with a minister's wife one year; we shared lab rooms. She had four teenagers and she taught public high school and had the responsibilities of being the minister's wife and NO ONE helped her because she was so giving and loving and wonderful. No her husband didn't lift a finger. I saw her exhaustion day in and day out. She had a smile plastered on her face so who knew the real truth. I certainly didn't until one Monday she came in to school relaxed and REALLY happy. At lunch, she told me that she packed a bag on Friday, left a note, and went to Gatlinburg - alone. She sat by the pool, read books, slept, and didn't call home. When she arrived home late Sunday night, the house was clean, and the teens (and husband) were quiet. THEY GOT IT! They kept it. The respect for her developed very quickly and the change in her family and for her was dramatic. Everyone was so much happier. Her hands no longer shook from anxiety and exhaustion at school. (She was an awesome teacher by the way.) God sometimes tells us to be discerning. No one is going to listen to you at this point. Leave a list of responsibilities that you are willing to do. Leave a list of responsibilities that they should do and that you won't do and stick to it. Close their doors and let them live with it or take a trip! God bless.........

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C.B.

answers from Clarksville on

When I was 12 I was doing my own laundry. I had my own basket and I was responsible for doing it. My mom showed me how to work the washer and dryer and I did it. I was to wash my clothes when needed... but the basket had to be a full load.

Rooms... I don't have advice for that,lol. I wasn't very good at keeping my room clean because I had to share with my younger sister and she kept it a mess. I'd say to get them to straighten up before bed time so it doesn't stay messy or get worse.

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K.M.

answers from Nashville on

When I was younger this was one of our chores - we did everyone's laundry, not just our own. I would recommend a couple of things having gone through this with my step-daughter. First, talk with your kids and let them know your expectations of their responsibilities AND CONSEQUENCES if they don't perform. My step-daughter was usually a good kid but if she did not have a consequence for not doing something it usually did not get done. Second, I think it would be hard for all of your kids to do laundry on the same day so I would suggest getting a blank calendar that showed days of the week and letting them choose what day they wanted to do it so they have some input. I think if they're included in the process they'll buy more into it. Third, give a reward for when they do get the job done - I don't know what you do at home but it could be anywhere from a gold star on the calendar that after so many a younger child gets a reward to an extra hour of staying up late on a weekend, whatever you feel comfortable with that will be appreciated by that particular child. I would suggest that each child have their own basket in their room. If the basket isn't full they can most certainly do laundry together as long as the job gets done. Also, then go over with the children how to do their laundry correctly. Write down on a piece of paper and post it in your laundry are in simple instructions, sorting - lights, whites or darks; washing - cold, warm or hot; I think you get the picture. Remember that they won't be perfect in the beginning but give positive feedback when they make an attempt to do it.

Good luck!

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M.E.

answers from Lexington on

get them each a laundry hamper that has compartments...one for whites, colors, and towel/washclothes. tell them you are old enough to do this yourself now. give them a list with cycles/temp settings for the different categories of laundry and show them how to operate the washer/dryer. then once you've shown them, then leave it for them...they'll get tired of not having clean clothes to wear and will start to do it. as far as cleaning their room and taking charge of their belongings, tell them if they can't take of there own stuff, then it's getting tossed out in the yard...and do it...throw it in a pile in the back yard untill they can be more responsible with it, they'll get tired of looking for it. and if the looks of the room are bugging you, close the door. i remember when i was a teen, nothing felt "right" if it wasn't messy.

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R.S.

answers from Huntington on

Flylady.net is a great place to learn about routines and helping kids learn to take care of themselves.

My three kids (son 18, daughters 16 and 14) started doing their own laundry about five years ago. I gave them each a mesh hamper and a laundry day. I did the towels and laundry for my husband and me. The trouble was that during the busy sports seasons, we'd be gone too often to get it finished in a day. The only person who stuck with it is my son, who isn't in as many sports as the girls. He does all his own laundry every Saturday and is very good at it, so i feel good about sending him off to college next year! The girls kept getting behind, and finally started doing theirs together, which works out okay. But the main thing Flylady will tell you about living with Mount Washmore is that if you have that much laundry, your kids probably have too many clothes. You can probably sort half of what they have out of their drawers and only leave what they really wear, and you'll have lots less to do. Good luck!

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M.T.

answers from Raleigh on

My kids aren't teens yet, but when I was growing up, my room had to be cleaned every Friday after school or I didn't get to go anywhere until it was. That worked really well for me in the high school years when there was always somewhere I wanted to go on the weekends.

As for laundry, my mom gave my brother and me our own laundry baskets, taught us how to sort and work the washer and dryer, and then left it up to us to do our laundry when we needed it done. She would not let us leave the house in dirty clothes (not that I would have wanted to, but my brother didn't really care for a while), so if something was dirty when we wanted to wear it, that was just too bad. We were always welcome to throw an item or two in with her laundry, but we never had a set schedule, although there are more of you, so maybe you'll need to try that out. I would suggest trying it without one first and implement a schedule only if there are too many conflicts. Although when your kids need clean clothes NOW and the machines are tied up, it may force them to work out their own schedule.

One other great thing that my mom did when I was growing up (and that I fully intend to do when my boys get older) was have me cook dinner. In the early teen years (14-15) before I was really old enough to drive and work, my mom had me cook dinner two nights a week during the summer. I got to pick whatever recipes I wanted and which two nights I wanted to cook. Then I just had to give her a list of ingredients I needed and she would pick everything up at the store. I knew how to cook all kinds of things by the time I went off to college, and at the time I did understand the fairness of having me pitch in like that since I was sitting around the house or hanging out with friends while my parents worked all day. And I appreciated the flexibility of picking the meals and the nights.

Good luck! :)

D.B.

answers from Memphis on

Oh my word, they can for sure handle doing their own laundry.

Get them each a laundry basket (different colors so you know if you find one in the hall or elsewhere who it belongs to). Give them each a day of the week to do their laundry, regardless of how many clothes are in their baskets. On their day they can grab whatever towels are in the bathroom/kitchen & throw those in with their clothes. Then they have to fold it all & PUT IT AWAY, laundry isn't finished until it's put away.

flylady.net is a great website for organizing your home. She takes you out of living in C.H.A.O.S.(can't have anyone over syndrome) to freedom through routines. Take babysteps, don't try & eat the elephant all at once! She takes you through a 31-day Beginner Baby Steps that is VERY helpful in getting your home organized. She helps you break your home into zones & from there you can keep it organized & clean. 'you can do anything for 15 minutes' is like their mantra.

Your children will benefit immensely from being organized & productive. When they can do for themselves it helps their self-esteem & helps to motivate them to do more. They will probably balk at first, but stick to your guns. You are a family, not a resort and they need to be helping.

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M.E.

answers from Huntington on

make a schedule for everyone to follow, cleaning room, doing laundry and other chores or tasks that are assigned, when they don't live up to their schedule, make it clear there will be consequences. Good luck!

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