How Do I Stop These Temper Tantrums?!

Hi T.! There are Articles on this page you might find helpful... http://sahmom.org/catalog.php?category=29

There are Articles dealing with Tantrums, Toddlers that refuse to share and more! :) Hope that helps

Hi. I am currently going through the same type of behavior with my three-year-old daughter. Its almost at times like my sweet even tempered daughter has disappeared, and has been replaced with somthing or someonelse! lol! It is very frustrating, especially when we are in a public place, but most of her temper tantrums take place at home. When she starts, I make her go to her room and have her fit. She is not allowed to come out until she is finished, because I refuse to talk over her. If she comes out of her room before she is finished crying and fighting, then I take her back to her room and tell her we will talk when she can listen to me. When she is finished, I sit her on my lap and we talk about why she had her tantrum, how she could handle it better next time, and I explain to her why she cannot behave that way. This technique is beginning to work. She is getting better at controlling her emotions and using words to express her feelings instead of actions. I hope this helps :)

We're going through the same thing with our son who turned 4 in October. The same type of fits, can't console him, anything sets him off. He screams at me, hits his sister, throws whatever is in reach. It's been horrible and stressful. I called a behavioral specialist and have an appointment this week to talk to her. My son doesn't behave this way with my husband as much as he does with me. I can't say "Good morning" to him without getting my head taken off. Hopefully the specialist will be able to give me some insight and advice. I hope you get your little one figured out.

In my experience as a teacher and a mother, some times the worst thing you can do is punish a child for a tantrum. Your daughter may be having a hard time expressing her feelings and this is the only way that she can do it right now. I would encourage her to use "I" statements..."I feel" or "I need". With a new brother or sister on the way, she may feel like she is going to be forgotten or left out. I went through that with my oldest when we were expecting my son, but she did finally get through it. Some children that I work with have this problem when they can't get things the way they want them when they want them. The best thing that I have found to do at that point is to ignore it. Make sure that she is in a safe place and won't harm herself or anyone else and just let it run its course. It may take time, but eventually she will figure out that doing this gets her nowhere with you, and in order to get what she wants she needs to use her words and talk to you. I know that it is hard to do, but sometimes even just walking to another room does the trick, she will see that you aren't going to give her attention for the tantrum. I have had to do this with my toddler! She likes to pull on those heart strings to get what she wants and she has to learn that behaveing in such a way is not going to get her whatever it is.

I hope this helps! I wish you luck and patience in handling this obsticle! =)

does she know you are fixing to have another baby? maybe this is just a phase she is going through and she will grow out of it. i never really had any problems like that with my kids. i am sorry i couldnt be of more help.all you can do is love her and keep punishing her for it. maybe eventually she will get the hint.

well i am going through the same thing with my 3 yr old plus have already been through it with my oldest and what i usually do is act like them..lol, keeps their attention on me and not what they were doing, and they start laughing at me, and i saw that is how u were acting... lol, other than that, I usually give spankings , timeouts, etc.. Stick to it if u take something way, or timeout, etc.. I have realized through parenting u have to stick to what u say, b/c if u dont, they do it over again, b/c they know they will be able to get away with it again. Strick disipline comes a long way. Always explain later on after u and the child both calm down why u spanked or took a toy away or whatever it may be, of why u done what u done.. and always tell them u love them, but mommy dont like it when u behave that way. Also, on your own time pray to god to help u, god can help so much, give your problems to him and he will see you through it. good luck

Well the tantrums at home were hard to handle for a long time. However I managed to get him to stop them in the stores.
One day he was having a tantrum in the $1 store. So I made him sit in timeout right there in the floor in the toy isle. He was 3 so did the 3 mins. He was so embarrassed he never threw another fit in those type stores. Then During the same time we were in Wal mart and he started acting up. I had a full basket of groceries I needed but I had to do it. I started to leave the store He was so upset he begged me not to go. I gave him another chance and finished my shopping. From then on he never gave me an tantrum in public. But I was going to leave the grocerys if I had to take him home and go back I would have done it to teach him the lesson. Sometimes we have to sacrifice to teach them. Hope this is some help.

T., first of all does your daughter go to day care? if so maybe there is a child at the center that is acting like the way she does at home now, and she see's what that child gets when he acts like that and thinks maybe she can do that at home and she will get the same thing. some daycares will have children there acting out and they dont want to fool with them and will give them what they want to shut them up. and that might be where your daughter is picking up on the problem, if i was you i would talk to the center she attends and see if you could come in oneday with out her knowing you are there and just see how she acts. and you might find your answer there.

Hi T.,
Does your daughter know about the new pregnancy? It sounds like she's jealous and maybe a little scared, and being that she's 3 yrs old, she doesn't know how to deal with it, hence the tantrums. It may also be an "age phase". Just keep reinforcing your undying love for her as well as letting her know that the tantrums won't be tolerated...or that she won't get what she wants when she's like that.

Good luck with your daughter and the new baby!

A.

HAVE YOU TRIED TO COPY CAT HER? DO EVERY SINGLE THING THAT SHE DOES AND LET HER SEE HOW SILLY AND RIDICULOUS SHE LOOKS AND IF THAT DON'T WORK THEN BUST HER BOTTOM UNTIL SHE REALIZES THAT YOU AREN'T GOING TO TOLERATE IT!!!THATS HOW WE BROKE OUR SON!!ACTUALLY, WE ONLY HAD TO DO THE COPY CATING CAUSE THAT REALLY MADE HIM REALIZE HOW FUNNY HE LOOKED!!GOOD LUCK!!T.

You have tried all but one thing that I would recommend and that would be spanking. She is old enough to use a wooden spoon on her tush when she starts this behavior. It needs to be done in a way that will train her and not aggrevate the behavior. I recommend 1-3 swats on the bottom, and spend a lot of time explaining to her why she is getting the spanking, and when you are done, praying with her and telling her you love her. Also before she can be dismissed she needs to apologize. Even if she doesn't mean it, she needs to get in the habit of being sorry for her behavior. You mentioned that you are trusting God with this next one that is due in April-so explain to her that her behavior is not only affecting you and the family, but it is hurting God. Children understand so much more than we think and they need to know that their actions have consequences and may ripple out futher than they can even know. We had to resort to spanking when our daughter was around 2, because it was the only thing that seemed to get her attention. We didn't have to give her many before she learned that it was not worth it and she is now 5-1/2 and we don't have temper tantrum problems at all. I wish you the best.