My son (22 months) is small and is below the 5th percentile for weight, but he has always been small like me. For the last 3 months or so he has gradually cut almost everything out of his diet. He was a picky eater already, but now he doesn't want anything. He used to eat eggs, chicken, bacon, sloppy joes, spaghetti, and any fruit. Now he literally only eats bread with butter, crackers, or sweets- of course, which we don't want to give him. Occasionally he will eat some mandarin oranges or a banana, but mostly it's soy milk all day long. I know what he needs to eat, but what I want your help with is this: I know if I only offer him what he should be eating he is going to throw a fit and refuse to eat for a couple of meals. I have been avoiding this because it's h*** o* me to have a cranky 22 month old in tow all day and keeping me up at night. So I've been letting him have his bread and butter and milk while still offering all the other things that he refuses. I think I need to do this, but I know it's going to be a big battle. Will he eat other food if he starves himself long enough? How long might it take? He can't afford to lose any weight! My boy is very strong willed and has SCREAMED for hours to get what he wants (like a glass of milk - not water - at 2 am) If I put something like a vegetable on his dinner plate, it goes on the floor. Every time. He won't even take a single bite of anything new - even pizza. What should I do?
More info: Yes, we do fruit smoothies frequently and he eats a little bit. We use yogurt and spinach along with fruits in ours. My 5 yo girl loves them! My boy had a milk allergy from birth and was gluten intolerant. So, he was on a limited diet until recently when he outgrew both problems (thank God!) Yes, I mix flax seed into pancakes, use whole wheat, make banana bread and he eats all of that stuff still - but I want him to go beyond the bread category.
"but mostly it's soy milk all day long"
"letting him have his bread and butter and milk while still offering all the other things"
He's getting too much milk. 16-24 oz. MAX per day. He's too full on milk, so why eat foods?
it is a phase most kids go through it but it is also a battle and you are losing. He is testing you whether you know it or not. Just to see how far he can go he is at the age where they start testing boundries. My kids went through it every kid goes through it, keep trying to throw in better foods keep pushing back or this wont be the last battle you lose
Our doctor said it was mom's job to offer healthy food option, and the child's job to choose how much to eat. Do not make him special meals, just offer what you planned for dinner, and if all he eats is starch, let him. Just remind him that this is dinner and there is no more food until breakfast. My daughter is also very petite and was put on Pediasure at 18 months which she sucked down hungrily at 3 bottles a day. She obviously craved the nutrition but did not like solids very much. She is still petite and a very picky eater. She now has a Carnation Instant Breakfast in 2% chocolate milk every morning. The other thing we do for our picky and slim girl is follow advice given us of "snack, snuggle and snooze". Before bed she drink a glass of milk with some graham crackers or a muffin or yogurt, etc. just another little bit of food so she does not go to bed hungry. These little picky tummies can only hold so much food, so "tank" him up before bed, but I would be strong about NOT feeding him in the middle of the night. Good luck.
I was also going to mention the fruit smoothie. I started my oldest on one when he was 18 months old and he has been drinking one daily for breakfast. He's six years old now! Ours consists of milk, yogurt, banana, frozen strawberries, frozen mango chunks, 1/4 - 1/2 avocado and sometimes a spoon of almond butter.
Have water available at all times but cut out or cut down BIG time on any other drinks and bread. This stuff is filling him up. Plus if it's his favorites, he may hold out for them. Afterall, he knows he'll get this stuff eventually. Offer offer offer all the good stuff. Encourage grazing - make food fun. Never make him clean his plate or sit at the table till he is done. His tummy is as small as his closed fist - not very big. Take a muffin pan - with 6 slots and just put a little bit of something in each one and set it down with a cup of ice water. Or - you yourself, sit down with a plate of veggies/crackers/fruits, etc... and act like it's JUST FOR YOU. He may want some of what you are having. Continue with smoothies and doing what you are doing but I'd remove what you don't want him to have or what is filling him up. If he REALLY wants the milk - no problem, just ask him to take 2 bites (I use their age) of such and such food first. Then don't give him a huge cup of milk. Also give him some power/control... "sure you can have some milk, let's eat some grow food first - do you want a red apple or some green sugar snap peas?" Give him choices, he'll be like - "Cool, I get to decide what to eat" :-) Whatever you do........ don't give up. Continue to offer foods that you want him to eat.
My son is picky also. I honestly got sick of arguing about what I was making for dinner. So I decided to not go out of my way to make special meals for him. Unless the dinner I'm making for me & my hubby is NOT a kid friendly meal. i.e spicy stuff etc
On thing my mom always told me: "Your kids will Not starve. If they're hungry enough, they will eat"
Just be patient with it. He will not starve if he doesn't eat dinner.
Otherwise i agree with the other moms. Pediasure , vitamins, etc to help fill in the holes he is missing.
do a little research on Soy milk and boys. And consider giving him almond milk or rice milk. Don't give into the milk at 2 am. Please let him scream. Because now he knows he can scream and get what he wants. They become extremely testy at this age. Meaning they test you and test you to see how many buttons he can push and which ones he should push to get what he wants. My son was extremly pushy at this age. Can you make some whole made bread and sneak in some good for you things like banana or apples... I told me son he had to try his food and if he didn't like it he could spit it out. He was always afraid of just trying something. What if you didn't have bread? Or didn't have butter? My son would eat bread and butter all day too. He loves it!
I'm not sure you can make anybody eat. Try every "trick" in the book and be as inventive as possible. Vitamins may be the best you can do for right now and hope that "this too shall pass." If you would like vitamin recommendations let me know.
In the meantime keep introducing new foods and hope.
My first one was a very fussy eater. All he would do was drink milk. Until he could understand consequences for his actions, I just gave supplements like gummy bear. When he started understanding consequences, I began to tell him that if he doesn't eat, he will not be able to do something he likes... like say playing with his train or watching his favorite DVD.
My second one was asking for milk at night. Let him cry out one night. That was the most difficult part. He cried for 4 hours. The second night he cried for an hour. After that, he did not ask for milk.
He may be a problem feeder, not just a picky eater. Consider hemp, rice or almond milk. Soy may not be the best choice for boys. You might also consider getting IgE food allergy and IgG food sensitivity testing. If he is drinking soy milk all day he very well may have an intolerance to it as well. Does he has developmental delays? Did his change in feeding happen after a vaccination or illness? The book Just Take a Bite addresses sensory issues that may be behind his eating difficulties as well.
Simple answer? Don't make it a battle. Make the food, serve the food, and walk away! He won't starve himself nad if you cook him only what he likes now andm ake a big deal out of it, he will continue and it will get worse and you will find yourself saying 'oh little Jimmy will only eat x and x, he's so picky' and you will be a short order cook! He's not even 2, serve food and walk away. If you stop making a big deal out of it he will too. Its a battle, so stop battling! If he throws it on the floor, make him pick it up. At his age he knows how to eat like a big boy, no food throwing or dumping. Give him a plate, a fork and a cup and let him eat. If he doesn't eat, then don't worry. He may be small but he wo'nts tarve himself to death and missing a few meals won't make him drop weight. Its a battle of wills now and you CANNOT give in because of him screaming at 2am for milk. If he's up at 2am for milk, he's not hungry. Give him a water and let him be. He will get the point.
I am willing to bet he won't lose any weight. The baby fat which I know you said he is small but he has some fat somewhere is starting to get used up. Sounds like a normal eating habit switch. Around the age of 2 kids just don't feel as hungry and will not eat for while.
Hang in there. Maybe giving his food to him in a different way.
Those zoopal plates can be fun. Also you will be surprised at this but you put something on the table and he will be expecting you to tell him to eat it but you say Nope, that isn't for you don't touch it, here is yours and give him his bread. If he reaches for the food then in a playful way tell him no. Then smile as he puts it in his mouth.
Tell him to count the bites. Bet him a cookie that he can't take 5 bites and count out the bites.
I agree with the mother who suggested making sure there are no other allergies to the things he's currently eating because if there is one, it could be working like a drug in that he must have it to "feel good".
Also I agree that a stron-willed child will starve himself contrary to what the experts say. I have one of those, too.
One thing you could try in reintroducing the foods you know he used to like, give him just the tiniest bite of it--it will be a fight but you must win it--and then give him something he really wants, even if it's a sweet. Pediasure is probably your best bet through this and make sure you get the kind with the fiber or put some kind of fiber in or you'll have a constipated boy--made that mistake, too.
I also agree with the no eating or drinking during the night. You've got to win that battle too because everyone needs a good night's rest.
Strong-willed children will test your patience so know what battles you have to win and which ones to let them think they've won.
If he's strong-willed, he WON'T eat if he gets hungry. That is a total myth when you're talking about strong-willed kids. Trust me, been there, done that. Our son is tough, tough, tough and was the same at that age ... put a vegetable or fruit anywhere near his plate, it went on the floor or he'd leave the table altogether and refuse to eat. Have you tried fruit smoothies? We got away with those for quite a while, until our son was old enough to realize it was fruit in there. You can sneak in veggies like carrots in those, too, along with protein powder, yogurt and other goodies that add nutritional benefit.
My third child has been a picky eater since birth. After two children, who are good eaters, this totally frustrated me. Others would comment frequently "Why does your child not eat?" I talked with my pediatrician about this at his checkups and did not get much help. Frustrated, I kept trying to introduce just one food a week with not much luck. At about 1 year of age, we discovered that he was lactose intolerant so that was helpful but still left lots of questions. At the age of 11, a friend who has a child with sensory issues began asking me further questions about my child. She asked me does he display any sensory issues other than eating, like does he prefer certain shapes, colors, textures? My son hates to have his hands messy or wet. Never would try fingerpainting and would come to me if anything was on his hands to get it off. So, I went to my pediatrician and pushed hard to get a referral to talk to someone further about eating sensory issues. He sent me to Sister Kenny kids where a team of people met with us and confirmed that sensory issues can play havoc with kids eating. They gave us some helpful suggestions but also told me that you need to catch this very early to retrain a child in his eating habits. Keep trying to get answers, allergies or sensory issues are something to explore with your doctor.
just keep offering him the same thing as the rest of the family, and ignore his "rejection" of food. if you make it a power struggle by trying to force him, then you are going to have an issue. kids love to strive for that kind of independence.
so anyway, just dont worry about it, relax, just offer him food, let him eat it or play with it or whatever he wants, and relax. he wont starve himself. kids just do this sometimes. :)
good luck!
This is only going to get worse as he grows older. The twos are a preview of what will happen when he becomes a teenager. You are his mom set some rules now. He has to eat good food whether he likes it or not. Make good healthy meals and make him eat one or two bites of everything on his plate. He doesn't leave the table until he does. If he throws it on the floor give him more. (only put a few bites of everything on his plate and reserve some to add if it goes on the floor) I know this is very difficult I had to do this with my two oldest. Now they are in their 30's and eat everything so do my grandchildren. If you are not strong enough to do this hopefully you hubby is or your Mom or a friend. He will learn to eat good food but only if you present it to him. Honestly it should only take a week or so to make him see that he won't win this battle.
If you give in everytime he screams he will learn to scream to get his way with everything. He won't pick up after himself, respect a curfew, do his homework etc if you let him get by with this.
DO NOT GIVE IN!!!!
