How Do I Deal with My Own Seperation Anxiety?

I had to start working again when my son was 4 months old and it was HARD going to work when all I wanted to do was be with him. There's no way to "get over it" because it's just one of those natural feelings of being a mom. It does lessen with time as you get used to longer periods of separation but it is hard! If you don't have to work, wait a little longer to reenter the workforce. Your daughter would benefit from you being there. If you do have to work (like I did), then just be sure to find a quality caregiver. It makes all the difference in the world to know that you little one is in good hands when you yourself can't be there. Good luck!

She's only one month old... so presumably 4 weeks. If you were working and on maternity leave, it wouldn't even be over for 6 weeks yet if you live in the U.S. If you live in Canada you'd be entitled to a year maternity leave.

What's your hurry to get back to work? That feeling you have to get back to your daughter while she's a newborn is your instincts telling you that she needs you. You'll naturally get over it the more often you're away from her and as she gets older and doesn't rely on you as much.

First, give your body time to heal and get to know your baby first. Figure your new life out before you go changing everything all over again.

Just time and practice. My son was about a year old before I was able to leave him without thinking about him almost constantly while I was gone. I went back to work at 3 months and was not very productive there! Practice with short trips out - food shopping, haircut - and soon you'll get used to it.

Unless you *have* to start working now, I would hold off a little if I were you (unless it were just part-time). She is so young & it is natural to feel anxiety leaving her, especially at this age. With my 1st (girl), I got 8 weeks maternity leave due to a c-section, and I literally cried at some point every single day for the first year. I *hated* not being with her during the day. It was torture & it took forever to get "better". I don't even think it did get much better, I just cried myself out ;-)

With my 2nd (boy), I eased back into it, going back 2 days, then 3, then 5. It still sucked but surprisingly I didn't cry. I think that was only because I had a plan to go part-time after @ 6 months. 6 weeks of full-time left, and my heart still aches when I send them out the door to the sitters, I want to be the one spending the day with them!

Anyway, my point is give it some careful thought. If you just want to get out of the house and/or have to work, that is understandable. Just keep reminding yourself that it is much harder on you than her. Make sure you find a great caregiver & know that your daughter will really have no memory of you not being there as much the first few years of her life. Focus on the time you do get to spend with her and don't worry about cooking, cleaning, etc. It is really quality over quantity in the end! Good luck, I hope it is much easier on you than it was on me ;-)

The best way to get past feeling anxious is to make sure you leave him with someone you totally trust. Once you have done that tell yourself 'I have done everything possible to make sure my daughter is being loved and cared for while I am away' and repeat as often as needed. Make sure you take a little time away on a regular basis and it'll get easier.

I have been working since my son was 8 weeks old. But initially I relied on my parents & in-laws for the first 6 months.
After that, I found a good day care. Checked on it during the day when the kids were there to see how they interacted with kids.
After I put him there, I used to call & ask to be connected to his room & talk to his caregiver.
My friend used to just go once a day at some random time to see if her child was doing ok. Watch her from some place where the child does not see mom.

K.,
It is natural and good that you are bonded to your daughter. I wouldn't try to break those bonds. They are put there for a reason. It isn't normal or right for a mother to desire to be away from her newborn infant. It is actually healthy and good for her to struggle with being apart from her. Don't try to get over it. Embrace it. Your daughter needs you, even more than you need her. You are life to her. Don't break those bonds. It is critical in her lifelong ability to make and maintain relational bonds with others that you maintain that incredibly strong bond with her now. If you don't *have* to go back to work, then don't. Stay home and be your daughter's mother. The relationship was designed that way. If you will not be able to eat or have a roof over your head, and if your husband cannot provide those things for you, then that is different. But, if it is just a "want" then please, for your daughter's sake, put off the job hunt. Jobs will always be there in the future. Nothing you can possibly do is more important than mothering your child.