How Did You Make the Toilet Inviting for Toddler to Use?

Sometimes, changing the focus a bit, like picking out a favorite book to read while sitting, HELPS. That way, you're not just sitting or standing there waiting for him to go.

Sometimes we talked, sometimes we sang, but something to take the focus off, throwing in some, "You're such a big, boy,"..."I'm (and/or Daddy will be) so proud of you."

We also had a piece of paper on the wall where a sticker was placed (one Abbie picked out) when there was a successful poop. Then......we began COUNTING THEM, too. Another thing you can do while sitting......practice alphabet sounds, colors, counting, etc.

He may not be ready for this yet. Boys can take a lot longer than girls to train. Don't force the issue or it may backfire. Just take it at his pace. You may want to try having him go potty in his diaper (if you can catch the signals) while sitting on his potty chair to get him used to the idea of that is the place we potty.

I used a sticker reward chart with my daughter and she loved it. It was just stickers so I did not feel like I was bribing her or rewarding her too much for something that she should just learn to do.

Good luck

A.... whatever you do, not force the issue. I am deep in the trenches at my house dealing with my 3 1/2 year old over this very issue. He is totally trained to pee in the toilet, but he refuses to poop in the potty because I tried to potty train him when I thought he "should" be. The result... he's dug his heels in and is fighting it.We have quite literally been at this for a good 7 months or more. IT IS UGLY! Not worth it. Let it be.

A recommendation I might make is try him in training pants with plastic covers so that he gets the idea of what it is like to be wet. Maybe if that is annoying enough, he'll get the idea ( works for some, didn't really phase my kid... hence my predicament. I forced it). Do it during the day, and diaper him at night. If that fails, scrap it and wait until he is mentally ready. That was the sage advice from my pediatrician. Let him watch you go, and talk him through it. Let him play with his potty chair while you go. But if you make it traumatic, then he sounds like he may do the same thing. Look at it this way, he'll get it eventually. Just as it is natural part of life, so is mentally preparing to do it. Best wishes... know that you are NOT Alone. I feel ya sister! ;)

hi i put a piggy bank on the back of the toilet, and told my little one that everytime she goes, well put a quarter in it, we used pennies, but she loved collecting the pennies. and started going everytime, when she had a bm she got extra pennies, it really works. good luck

A.: I have always had good luck with making the potty time fun time with reading books or singing songs. I had my child sit on the potty once every 30 minutes or an hour depending on how long I felt he was staying dry. We went to a teacher supply house and got a couple of big charts and alot of stickers. His reward was a sticker in each column that applied. We put a column on there just for sitting on the potty and one for pee pee and poopy. So that would give him the desire to even just sit and try once an hour and he would get a sticker and he loved it. The chart would show his progress and believe it or not it worked very well. He was potty trained in less than a week. I still had to keep up the chart for awhile because children love to have a sense of accomplishment and rewarded for good behavior. I agree that a candy reward is not good or money so I feel this was a more positive way to do it and he looked forward to it and couldn't wait to get his new sticker. Hopefully this may work for you if you try it.
A little about me: I am a 38yr old SAHM of a 1 1/2 yr old boy and I also have two other beautiful boys, one 6yr and one 17 (almost 18 yr old). I am married to a wonderful husband that is an excellent daddy.

Guess I was one of the lucky ones, both of my children were toilet trained by two and the third by 18 months old. I started putting them on the potty chair at 6 months old when they got up in the morning, after meals, before and after naps, and before bed. We played patty cake, peek a boo and other games when they were really little, read a couple of pages or a really short book when they were a little older. If they went on the potty they got a treat/reward my sister-in-law used skittles or fruit snacks with her two. We didn't ask them if they wanted to go, we put them there. Yelling, screaming, kicking were punishable acts at any time so wouldn't have been acceptable then either. You can, if you put the potty chair in the bathroom, turn the water on low while they sit there to encourage them to go. Sound of running water often helps speed up the process. Never sit there for more than 3 minutes, ever. They have either gone or not gone. Then there is always the big child talk. You are a bigger person now, only babies need diapers, bigger people have underpants. Let him pick out a package of big boy underwear he likes and let him know he can start wearing them as soon as he stops wearing a diaper. Only big children get to play with certain types of toys and get to play certain types of games etc. Until he is toilet trained he simply can not have any new games, toys, etc. Bribery in some respects but it works.

When we were training our girls, at about 2.5 yrs, we started with a kitchen timer - and called it the "potty clock". We would set for 30 minutes, and once the clock rang, we'd get excited and tell the girls it was potty time. They didn't go potty at first, but did get used to sitting on the potty every 30 minutes. Once they were done, we'd reset the potty clock. We then bought the Huggies Clean Team soap and the girls were excited to use the neat soap (the head blinks for how long they should wash). When it was time for going #2, we bought bathroom wipes and call them "poopy wipes". The designs on the package are attractive to them, and the girls only get to use those wipes if they go poop on the potty - yet another exciting thing for them. We could have gone a bit overboard, but we wanted them to be interested, look foward to the treats (soap, poopy wipes) that resulted in them going potty. They have been potty trained since last August and still get excited about the poopy wipes... Other things we tried were M&M's as rewards, wearing no pants or diaper around the house (summer time worked great for this b/c the girls would wear just a shirt and undies outside and no mess to clean up if there was an accident), and keepign the potty in close range to where they were playing... good luck. It seems like such a hard job, but once your son is trained, you'll be so releived.

Sounds like you're pushing it a bit much. Our 5 year old started doing the same things as your son, and we got the potty chairs so they'd be there when she was ready. We basically just waited until she was closer to 3.

There are a couple of things we found that worked, but it was a process. At the sitter's she liked using stickers, but that never really worked for us.

The thing that did work pretty well was setting the timer for every 30 minutes, and letting her on the potty whether she had to go or not. Also, tying in the "potty first" rule. Anytime she wanted to do something different (go watch a show, or color, or play with toys, get a drink, have a snack, etc,), she had to go potty first. It was pretty much, "You can do whatever you want or have whatever you want, as long as you go potty first."

There will be times after he's "potty trained" that he just will not want to take the time to go potty and will go in his pants even when he "knows better." Then we'll just start setting the timer again, and making everything "potty first". She knows that if she takes time to do it herself, then we'll back off. I'm sure that sometimes she does it for attention, but it saves me from doing a mountain of laumdry.

Good luck!

A.,

I hear your struggle!! I have a 3 1/2 y/o son that has been potty trained for about a year - so we started roughly the same age and I am currently working with my 16 m/o daughter. We did the reward system for him and it worked. Maybe instead of looking at it from the perspective that you are rewarding him for doing what is natural TO YOU, look at it as something new to him. What is "natural" to him is the diaper....and now you want him to change - so you need to reward the behavior.

With my son we had a hard time (and boys I have heard lots of times are harder than girls) so we got a potty chair for him and if he wanted to watch a show, we required him to sit on the potty for the length of the show(15-30 minutes) then once he realized what he was doing and started going potty (our chair played music - so he/we would know immediately if he went) then it was easier to "celebrate". Then after he figured it out we progressed to needing to go potty before the show. I know that TV with kids is very contraversial, but this truly was the only "motivation" we could find. We tried sticker charts, toy rewards, candy....nothing "motivated" to WANT to sit there - so this worked for us.

My dt on the other hand, though she isn't really talking much, gets rewarded to sit on the potty (toilet/not potty chair) with m&m's. And she will point to the bathroom and want to sit there for the reward - we read books and sing to keep her there long enough to get use to it. It is a slow process but she is littler. For her (b/c of her age) is more about getting use to the idea.

I hope this has helped. I know the "reward" is something I too struggle with, but we all need a little motivation sometimes. Good luck!!

Hi, A.. I don't know if this would help, but my son done the same thing when he was 2 yrs old. I used cereal like cheerioes or fruit loops in toilet like a game. The point in this is an aim game. Put the cereal in toilet and tell him to shoot at the cereal and see how many he can hit!!! It's fun and learning at the same time!! It's just an idea to see if that helps. This is the way my son went potty!! Some stores might carry some toilet things to do this, but it's cheaper to just use cereal. Hope this helps with your son's potty training. Their is also a potty training tape you can get from the library and all sort of books. Good luck!! Just be patient and don't give up!! R. E.

For my daughter I got her one of those sticker books with a subject she liked (Shrek at the time) and I let her only look at it when she went on the potty and she got to put a sticker on it if she went. She loved it! We also tried putting a penny in her piggy bank each time she went, kinda worked. Hope that helps.

Hi A.-

your son sounds just like mine! I would suggest rewards- but, nothing big. We started with small goals like sitting on the potty with clothing, then with a diaper, and, then, with nothing on. Whenever he makes an attempt, he gets a sticker to put on his sticker chart in the bathroom and one for his shirt. When he conquers a new goal for the first time or it's one he's struggled with a lot, he gets a "potty prize." I bought a bucket and filled it with $1 cars, buildings, stickers from Target's $1 aisle. I even take crayons from restuarants that he's been given and repackage them. He has no clue and he feels very special to get a prize. It's increased his interest dramatically. We've also used hand stamps as prizes. You can get some safe inkpads and an assortment of cute stamps at Pat Catan's- sometimes Target even has them.

This is an award system, my oldest didnt like being wet so she was easy, the second one didnt mine it at all, so I drew a picture of her on the toilet every time she went on the toilet she got to put stars on the picture that was on the refrigerator, There is also books out there and a viedo go to your local library.

dont push it.let him sit on it tell him how big boys go to toilet.and praise him even if it is in his diaper if he does something while on the potty.make sure the one you have is his size and when you or your hubby goes into the bathroom invite him to sit on it.make toilet training fun.run water while he is sitting on it.K.

There is a question here on potty training almost every day. Look at the past questions and responses. Potty training just takes time and patience. They do it when they are ready. Good luck!

I'm sure this is a habit we'll have to later break, but right now we put the pot in front of the TV and he gets to watch football or a kids video. He never gets to watch TV otherwise, so it's enough to keep him pants-less and sitting until he goes. When he does go, he gets M&Ms or smarties.

It's always fun. We put M&Ms in a bowl on the back of the toilet and she gets them when she uses the potty. We sing songs. We have a potty chair, but she really doesn't like it, so we don't use it. Instead, I squat and hold her while she's on the regular potty. We also wave bye, bye to the pee pee/poo when we flush.

We've never said "Ew" or "Icky" or anything negative about the potty. If she tries to stick her hand in, we just quickly redirect her.

Hope this helps!

Hi A.,

When my boys were training (They are teens now) we had "Tinkle Targets", similar to the pieces of toilet paper or cheerios mentioned by another mom. They were available at Toys R us (I think), but kind of expensive. You could make your own by drawing or stamping pictures on pieces of toilet paper. Let him pick out which one he wants to aim for. Maybe even let him draw/stamp them.

It may be too early for him (boys take longer than girls). My older son was past 3 before he really got the hang of it. By 3.5 he was a pro. Didn't even regress when baby brother was born and had to spend five days in Arkansas Children's Hospital.

Is there another little boy he knows who uses the potty? Let your son see this boy do it. It may encourage him.

Good luck, and remember they all get it eventually!

K. Z.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but no one can force a child to potty train. Just keep providing opportunities to go, but the more you force him the less likely he'll want to go. He has to decide for himself when it's time.

Your son may simply be not ready to go to the potty. I have had friends that started their kids on potty training at the same stage your son is at and it took forever. And I have friends that started potty training their child when the child was ready for it and it only took a day or two to potty train them (without rewards). You may want to try to send your son to the potty with your husband. Maybe when he sees daddy going to the bathroom, it will incline him to go. And maybe you'll have to teach him to stand and not sit. When my hubby potty trained his sons, he used either cheerios or a piece of toilet paper as a "goal" to pee on in the toilet.