Help with an Unfair School Situation

Updated on May 06, 2012
B.G. asks from Tyler, TX
28 answers

So my daughter is in the 1st grade and at the beginning of the year the kids were encouraged to read and take AR quizzes for a reward at the end of the year. She has worked so very hard reading and only needs a few more points to reach the goal the school had set. So on the calender of events for this month I see that the reward is a field trip and called the school to get information about it and am told that only 2nd-6th grades were going to be rewarded for their Accelerated Reader points. I've not done anything yet, but I feel I need to, it's unfair, not only to my daughter but to the other kids who have been reading and taking quizzes the whole year only to be let down. What should I do?

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M..

answers from Youngstown on

I agree with the others saying don't make a big deal out of it. Life is unfair sometimes. She did do a great job though so maybe you can take her to the zoo or something to show her how proud you are of her.

7 moms found this helpful

L.M.

answers from New York on

Talk to the teacher. Hopefully something is planned. If not, go above her if you have to. Suggest a plan of a class party. Volunteer to help or whatever.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Well, it is unfair. But mostly it's a demonstration of why we should not use rewards to bribe kids into doing things they should do for their own inherent satisfaction. Kids should read because it is a wonderful thing that opens the world to them. Not to get a field trip. A field trip is a great thing - kids learn and have fun. But it is part of their education - not a reward for kids who respond to a bribe.

2 moms found this helpful

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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Perhaps the teacher is planning on giving them a reward. Before saying anything to your daughter, discuss it with the teacher.

Dawn

5 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Take her out for ice cream.

The reading itself is invaluable - it is the absolute best method to gain reading comprehension, writing and grammar skills not to even mention building a huge vocabulary.

It sucks that the school was misleading, but don't let on to your daughter. She shouldn't associate reading with any kind of lost reward or school dysfunction. Reading is its own reward. :)

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

ish. if the school was really unclear, then yes, it's a little sucky, but i really have issues with making good behavior (reading? really?) all about a reward.
that being said, i don't think it's a terrible thing if hard-working kids get a treat. and i don't see why parents can't provide that.
'fair'? why is that always the rallying cry? unfair would be if your child did well on a test and wasn't graded correctly for it. fair isn't about learning to read and taking quizzes and doing well and then not getting extra stuff.
at some point we've got to develop standards and expectations for kids in this country that are at least middling.
high would be better yet.
and that means the reward for learning to read and doing well on quizzes would be knowing how to read and a heartfelt 'honey, i'm so proud of you' from the parents.
and maybe a movie and ice cream.
khairete
S.

5 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

On one hand the school wasn't clear? Thing is if you pitch a fit you are telling your daughter that she should only apply herself when there is a reward. Not a good life lesson I think.

She learned, she read, isn't knowledge reward enough?

5 moms found this helpful
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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Yeah, take her out for ice cream and say "good job!" Not everything we do needs to have a big reward attached. We're doing our kids a disservice teaching them that.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Unfortunately, life is not fair. That is a lesson all kids and adults need to learn. If the school is not including the 1st grade, then do something for her at home. Pizza and a movie or go to the book store and buy her a book.

My daughter loved reading. When we would send her to her room when she got in trouble she was giddy! We finally figured out that she was enjoying the punishment. I had to take ALL the books out of her room. She had a library in her room practically! I love to read as well.

What to do? You reward your daughter for her reading and move on.

4 moms found this helpful
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E.C.

answers from Detroit on

Maybe you can organize something with the other parents in her class and teachers to have a classroom party? Assuming that it was an accidental oversight by the school by not disclosing this in the beginning, I am sure they have a valid reason. I would make it something positive for the kids instead of putting too much negative energy into a situation. (Not that you necessarily would, but you may get all the parents riled up).

3 moms found this helpful
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K.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I would say something, what they did was unfair and not right. They should have some sort of reward for everyone that took the quizzes. I'm sure she worked hard and she and every other child who did it deserves the reward. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I would just take her out for special treat yourself, maybe you could go with some of the other first graders and their moms?

3 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Does it have to do with car seats?
I know a lot of K's and first graders miss out on filed trips nowadays because of car seat requirements, especially if buses are involved. And even if it's by private car the school doesn't want the liability.
Why not just call the school and ask why?
Is your daughter even aware that she's "missing out" on something? I'm sure if the first grade was not included then the teachers never even mentioned it.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely let the teacher know your disappointment, your principal, the reading specialist, etc. etc. And if they thought first graders are too young or something maybe you can help implement a 'special' day for the ones who did this. Congrats! you have a wonderful daughter/

3 moms found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

Agreed that the reading she's done has benefit her more than any kind of field trip ever could. If it's a liability issue that the school doesn't want to deal with, perhaps suggest something else like a pizza party in the classroom or something? If they say no or that 1st graders aren't included in any kind of reward program, don't mention it to your daughter just take her out for ice cream or skating or something to show that YOU'RE proud of her.

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

By all means reward her yourself no matter what the school does.
My son's favorite treat is a trip to the book store.
For great grades and doing his chores and generally helping out when ever where ever it's needed, he gets what ever he wants at the book store.
Where my son initially went to school there was no AR program.
So when we moved he began AR in the 3rd grade.
When he wanted to take out Harry Potter from the school library the librarian had him read the first few pages to her to prove he could.
That year he won an actual trophy for earning the most points ever accumulated in one year.
Try not to stress over it.
It's meant to encourage reading in kids who'd normally not read so much by making it competitive.
If a child is already reading up a storm, the program is alright but it loses it's point.
The important thing is to ENJOY THE READING!

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

I think you should be calm in speaking with the school, and let them know that the program has created some confusion amongst the 1st graders (you can particularly use this if you know of any other 1st graders who are also doing AR too). And let them know that your daughter has been working diligently on the program. Don't expect them to try to accommodate her now (it might create bad feelings amongst either the other 1st graders or among the older kids if they are forced to have her come) --- though you can ask if that is an option. Regardless, your focus should be on preventing other 1st graders from being disappointed, so by that token, focus on asking for the program to be presented more clearly, or presented to the 2-6 graders so that the 1st graders don't get confused.

Then, create a special reward for your daughter for her efforts---there is nothing stopping you from taking her to a waterpark, or the zoo, or a special movie, or etc. You could also enlist her teacher, by explaining the issue, and then asking her if she would sign some kind of certificate (you can make up one at home, something simple like "Congratulations, Sally! for reading X books at Y level this year!" (I would avoid using the words "Accelerated Reader" or "Accelerated Reading", so that there is no confusion from the teacher).

You could treat this maybe more like the parents who give rewards for good grades. It's not quite the same, but there is nothing stopping you from recognizing and rewarding the work yourself. I would definitely make it a special treat, and if she wants it to be just you & her, rather than the whole family, that would be best.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I'm all for the idea of coming up with something to do with the 1st graders that put forth the effort. I'd talk to the 1st grade teacher(s) about it, and/or the home-room parent(s). I think this could possibly be an easy fix. 1st graders going on a field trip with 6th graders isn't ideal, anyways...

Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You should ask the school why it wasn't made clear that 1st graders were not eligible for the reward and then suggest to the school that you feel it is a source of discrimination and ask for a good, solid reason why 1st graders are be excluded.

That is completely unfair. Those kids have worked hard and are going to be very disappointed. Then next year, they aren't going to want to even participate because this is going to leave a bad taste in their mouths.

I would definitely call the school and the superintendent of the school district and let them know that the school is discriminating and that the students were never told and INSIST that the 1st graders so on that trip or that another, equally exciting, reward be offered to them.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Seattle on

I realize this is not fair but unfortunately in school and in life things are not always fair. My child who has the highest amount of AR points in her 2nd grade class did not get to go on a field trip or watch a movie because she was not chosen out of those who were eligible. You can try addressing this issue with your child's teacher or the principal and you should also do something special for your daughter that is deserving of recognition of her achievement.

1 mom found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I would probably say something to the teacher or a note to the principle. Maybe they have something different already planned for the younger kids.

You can take her out or do something special together. I see no wrong in rewarding a child for working hard. Most adults get raises at work or promotions for their hard work so why should we always tell children to just deal with it. Just be sure to let her know how happy you are with her for working so hard. Knowledge is always the best reward.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

The Teacher..... should have explained that to the kids.
And as a grade level, all of the 1st Grade Teachers, should have told the kids that. But that, they are getting another reward.

At my kids' school, the students are all given some type of reward for AR. Unless they fail miserably in even getting the minimum.

1 mom found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I would ask the teacher, I wonder if they usually do something special for these kids?

If not then yes, plan a gathering and get other parents with 1st graders reaching the goal and propose it to the 1st grade teachers.. Like a special party in the library. The parents could organize it.

Or an ice cream party one afternoon.

I remember at the end of the year assembly when they gave out awards, that is where the top readers were given a certificate, a ribbon and a gift card for a free cone at the neighborhood ice cream shop.. The kids were thrilled to called up on stage and presented their rewards and award.

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L.M.

answers from Dallas on

I teach first grade and our 1st graders don't start AR until January because they are still learning to read. Perhaps the school does that because the older grades have been doing it all year. Another reason might be that many first graders do not reach their goal because of reading ability. Maybe they don't want them to miss out on the field trip when all they need is time to work on reading more. As first graders, there aren't many books on PK or Kinder level. However, if a student is struggling with reading in a higher grade, they have many choices on their level to reach their goal.

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V.M.

answers from Cleveland on

please let us know, but I would be very shocked if they did nothing for these kids. Maybe it isn't the field trip but my kids have an AR store to buy toys with their points and earn other smaller prizes. or they can save them for the big one which i think might be free admission to the waterpark for the end of the year picnic.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I would definitely talk to them, especially if it was not made clear that only the older kids got to go. If they will not budge, see if they will come up with an alternative award for the younger kids.

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V.S.

answers from Dallas on

Do you know for sure, since you never were told other then the school calendar, that the reward for first graders was to be the field trip? Very often the younger kids are rewarded in a different way. I would talk to the teacher, not about the field trip, but about what her reward is. If there is nothing planned, then I would talk to the principal about the announcement being made in front of first grade but not including first grade.

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K.S.

answers from Miami on

Not a fair system if they told the 1st graders about it then took it away. I would suggest that they try to do something else for the kids as ar eward. A bounce house party, a pizza party in the classroom. on the other side the 1st graders are probably just not the right age for the approved field trip so its probably best child does not go. Seriously 6th graders and 1st graders different world of activites. But they should be rewarded with something.

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