Help!! Cant Put Baby Down

He's so little, he needs you.
I've been there.
Some things that helped me: baby sling/front carrier. I would do some
basic housework (but no vaccuming), tidy up etc.
Also, a little bouncey chair for him to sit in while I did a few things like laundry nearby.
Eventualy a walker.
Try to get help when you can..if someone offers to help, take it. Rest,
walk round the block, run an errand.
Accept help when offered.
Hold him sitting down while watching tv. It comforts him & gives you a break.

Do you swaddle? I would swaddle my LO, then get him to sleep, then transfer. The swaddle kept his limbs from flopping around during the transfer. I also put an extra layette blanket between me and him and then put that under him for the transfer, so it would be warm and the cold crib sheet didn't wake him.

you will doubtless here 'the housework can wait' and 'your baby needs you' and probably a nutty suggestion here and there that your baby is spoiled or that you need to 'teach' your baby to be less selfish.
the simple fact is that despite our overwhelming adoration for our sprouts and the preciousness of that first year, sometimes you have to pee, or do the dishes, or make a phone call, or dance naked in the moonlight, or your back is breaking, and you have to put the baby down.
sometimes you really CAN'T do that without the baby objecting loudly. babies are like that. but if you are sensitive to his needs, and taking wonderful care of him, and loving the stuffing out of him, i promise you it will not break your baby to put him down for a few minutes, even if he screams red-faced over it.
get a bouncy seat or a blanket or some other safe clean place for him to be, and lay him down where he can see you, and do what you need to do. when you've finished peeing or chopping the vegetables or taking a shower or doing a yoga stretch to relieve your aching back, pick him up again.
it's common for new mommies to forget how simple it can be. just as common as it is for babies to want their mommies 24/7.
you don't need a stepford house, but yeah, you DO need to do some basic picking up and taking care of. it's harder to negotiate with a tiny loud person, but when the rubber meets the road, you just use common sense. it would never have been an option for me to go DAYS without putting the baby down because i couldn't take the baby crying. no good mother can listen to her baby cry without wanting to fix it, but any sensible mother can let it happen for a few minutes here and there so they can get on with what needs to be done.
khairete
S.

Enjoy it while you can!! They are only that small for such a short time.

Maybe your So could help with the house work.

Sorry, my oldest was like that. Now he is driving and thinking of going to college out of state:(

It takes time to fix this, he's trained you to do his will...lol.

I think you have to weigh out what's going on, okay? Like if he's screaming and sucking in air and starting to puke and gasping for air because the snot is gushing....that's not a good time to let him cry for a few minutes.

If he's fussing he needs to be redirected or focused on something else. Put a toy in front of him when he's on his tummy, put it just barely out of reach so he'll have to wiggle a little bit to get it. Put him on his tummy several times per day and lay by him, teach him to do tummy time. You can also put him on his back in a reclining position, propped up or in a bounce seat, and put toys over him so he can see them and reach for them.

Find things he likes, that hold his interests, that he'll look at and reach for so he will start growing his hand/eye wiring in his brain.

It will also help if you leave him for a few hours per week so he'll learn some independence. Find a Mother's Day Out in your area and take him once a week. Some are from 10am-3pm and others are 9am-noon. He could go just to have a different environment and take some time to learn to be away from you for a few hours at a time.

I am not saying you are doing a bad job. Some mom's wear their babies for a year or more and are with them constantly. That's a choice. I had to work so I had no choice. Pay rent and buy groceries or live in my car and go hungry...I put my daughter in child care and went to work.

What I'm saying is he will grow out of this even if you do nothing. He will learn to be away from you if you work on it. He can be taught to interact with things around him if you give him opportunities to like those things. Then you can start working on moving further away from him and gain some independence.

I got a baby sling and wore our son as much as possible.
He loved it!
Forget housework for awhile!
It'll still be there when your son is older.
Enjoy your little one while you can.
They grow up so fast!

Bless your heart. I hate reading posts like this.

You haven't mentioned here if your ped has told you that your baby has colic. It would have been helpful to mention it.

If a baby has colic, they usually cry even if you are still holding them, and they usually cry at a certain time of day. Their little tummies are in pain and that's why they cry. I don't think they really understand a lot about colic, but usually it starts to get better at the 3 month period and finally goes away.

I'm going to guess that your little turtle doesn't have colic because he cries whenever you put him down. You haven't mentioned that he cries mostly after having a bottle (or breast), so I'm going to leave that out of my thoughts too. Instead, what I think has happened is that you held him all the time when he was a little thing and he has come to depend on it.

The only thing you can do to help yourself is to train him to lay down without you holding him. You don't like to hear him cry (no one wants to hear a baby cry), but crying is normal and you need to help him learn that he doesn't have to be held all the time.

It's going to take steel nerves on your part. Put him in his car seat and put it up on the counter while you wash dishes. Talk and sing to him. Act happy. Coo at and kiss his face while sitting in it. Rock him gently and then get on with your work. Pick him up and take a break from your cleaning. Then put him back down. Just make sure to take him from room to room with you.

Some people can stand to co-sleep. I am not a proponent of co-sleeping at all. Too many people on here begging for help getting their kid out of their bed so that they can have normal relations with their spouse or so that they can get some sleep!! For you, I think you have to deal with the daytime issue of getting baby to stop screaming for you to hold him all the time. He needs tummy time so that his neck muscles get strong, so that he can learn to turn over and eventually start to creep. He can't do that if he is just being held all the time.

Another thing is that you cannot be as good a mom if you are exhausted. You have to look out for you. Don't feel guilty about it.

Good luck!

My youngest was like this. To be honest, we had to wear him in a sling for four months. It was a very long four months. He did not like to be in a bouncy seat or a swing and the minute we set him down, even if he was sound asleep, he would wake up and cry. I wish I had an answer for you.

I just asked this question a moment ago, so I can't help but laugh. My daughter is 8 months old and has been this way for the last couple of months or so. Trying to get house work done with a baby that you can't put down is impossible. I wish I could give you advice on this, but I too need the same advice. I wish ya luck and feel your pain.

Hi there! You are not alone. I had 2 of these babies so I know exactly what you are going through. Mine are 3 and 5 now, and everyday is still difficult, but not so bad as it used to be. I recommend joining the Fussy Baby Site on Facebook. It is by invitation only, but that won't be a problem.

We have what are called High Needs babies. Dr. Sears had one and wrote a book about it. You can find the checklist to see for yourself online if you do a google search.

Tricks to help: Cut out dairy for you if your are bf or move to Alimentum if you are formula feeding.
Look into GERD or silent Reflux this is super common.
Do not use Soy formula because of the estrogen mimicry it causes. I didn't know this when my first was a baby and she is starting to get breast buds at 5.
Some babies love to be carried/worn. Mine hated it! They would actually scream louder if possible.
Bumbo was awesome once they could hold up their heads.
Graco Sweetpeace Soother: This was a godsend! it is a swing that comes with a seat that sits above a 30* angle so that the acid doesn't burn so badly. It can go forward/backward or side to side. The best thing, is that when the baby falls asleep in the infant seat/carrier from the car, you just carry it in and put it ON the soother so that the movement stays the same as the car. You can also play the built in music/heartbeat/womb sounds, or you can plug in an mp3 player.

The best thing I ever learned: GO see an Occupational Therapist. For some reason, the baby is not able to process sensory imput quite right. OTs can help with this. Mine says the earlier she gets them, the less work is required, and she would really like them as soon as they leave the hospital if possible. Mine have been going for 2 years and the differences are beyond words or explanation.

PM me if you want/need more help, I have lots of good tricks and information.

my last two were like this. Don't think twice about letting a new born fuss for 10 minutes or so to see if they can get to sleep on their own. My first baby would, my last two would not- they cried! My last two napped in the Ergo (the right back protecting carrier can make all the difference) and I barely got anything done at all, and my body ached! Yes, the house feel apart. It was a rough time. And it seems you are at a point of needing to try something else. I did two things that are not safe at all, so I"m not recommending them. Just telling you what I did in desperation. First, I layed baby on stomach. He would not sleep on his back. The next no no I did was I used a heating pad in his bassinet. I learned that baby woke during the transfer from baby carrier to bassinet because of the lack of warmth. So I found the perfect sized heating pad and placed it in the bassinet under a blanket. I preheated it, placed baby on it, turned blanket heat off (unplugged it to be certain) and left the room. It worked until it stopped working. Eventually I let all my babies CIO for naps because I had other kids and other responsibilities. With my second baby I patted her back until she fell asleep because she would not transfer. I did this until I couldn't take it anymore (around 5-6 months). But with my third baby, I was homschooling my oldest and could not stand there patting backs. I did CIO for naps before I did it at night time, probably around 3 mo. 30 minutes was the longest they went and after a few days, they took 10 minutes. My first I let nap in the swing, but my last two didn't care for it. The point is, different babies take to different things. I feel for you. This was a very hard stage for me too.

Babies cry. It's OK. Baby wearing is nice for people who can manage it, but i's also OK to put your baby down. All my kids went through this phase. You do what you need to do. You hold hold hold and love love love them, and when you need to put them down: you do. If they cry, they cry. They WILL LEARN, that its actually OK to be put down, and will start to feel secure being put down if you just let them work through it. WHATEVER you do, you do not want to train them to get SUPER frantic in order for you to pick them up. They learn this when you put them down, but then cave and pick them up when they are super frantic.

You need to know yourself: Will you cave and pick him up? Or will you have the capability to let him cry for ten minutes and pick him back up when he's quiet, or let him sleep? Both answers are OK, there is no right or wrong, but you need to set habits, so figure yourself out and act accordingly.

If you WILL CAVE and pick him up, then just wear him and never put him down, and pick him up the minute he cries and sleep with him so that it's on YOUR TERMS until he's a bit older.

If you CAN BEAR the crying? Then stick to your guns. Give lots of love and holding, but when you put him down: Leave him down for 20 minutes while you wipe down the kitchen. Even if he screams. He will learn that screaming doesn't make you pick him up. That may not stop him from screaming, but he won't be afraid. He'll get used to it. Same with whatever bed he sleeps in. Children adapt to whatever routine YOU GIVE THEM. But you have to stick to it in a guilt-free, confident way. And you have to accept that babies cry. When my third was born, and I was home alone, never putting her down wasn't even an option with two other small kids and a whole house to run. Sometimes she howled, but she's a healthy 5 year old now.

In lots of cases, you can stave off crying by letting your baby be in command, but it leads to lots more crying later if that parenting style continues and 2 and three year olds can still get their way by crying. At 3 months old, you still have some time decide to figure out your style.

We had a bouncy seat that vibrated and it had an aquarium that bubbled and made noise. My babies would stare at that and conk out.

A friend of mine lent me her matching swing (with lights and noise) and that worked too. I'm sure they have much more advanced things now, but that was wonderful.

With my first ones, I used to pop them in their stroller (I had one that was more like a pram, so they could lay flat) and walk around the block once.

Good luck!

I used to set him down in the car seat (he was cradled all over to feel like he was held) and when that didn't work, I'd "co-nap" with him and roll away. They used to sell a little foam wedge for babies (15 yrs ago) and I'd put it on his back, so he felt pressure on his back. He slept on his side.

My son lived in the baby sling. I became a sling expert then a sling addict.

Maya Wrap
http://www.mayawrap.com

Over the Shoulder Baby Holder is very padded for comfort and when they get bigger and heavier.
http://www.motheringfromtheheart.com/catalog/25.html

ERGO
pretty new - back and front carry (more expensive)
I'd totally get this if I had a baby.

I miss the sling days! My 2nd born used to walk up to me (as a quiet toddler) and carry the sling to me when she wanted to be held.

Babies need to move through space. It's good for brain development. You can look that up. Either they move through space and you hold them, or they are moving themselves.

Bumbo - I wouldn't do that. They are supposed to go through a succession of movements (when not in the sling, lots of floor time and eventually he'll get on his stomach) and being trapped in that thing really isn't good.

You can look up the negatives about the Bumbo online.
http://mamaot.com/2013/07/16/beware-the-baby-bumbo-seat/

Amazing Babies DVD - I watched this with my 2nd baby and it was eye-opening. I only used a baby seat if I was in the shower, but otherwise, she was never in a bouncer. Babies really need to move when they are not being held.
http://www.amazingbabiesmoving.com

Hang in there! I know this is rough, but it will be short lived. I had a friend who used to drive her daughter around in the car for naps.

Is there a La Leche League chapter near you? Visit their meetings and see if someone can show you how to use a sling. That's how I learned. I couldn't figure it out on my own and I almost gave up.