Guilty - Barrington,IL

Updated on October 18, 2010
J.L. asks from Hoffman Estates, IL
23 answers

So my hubby was sick in the hospital and should be released today. He has Pneumonia and was dehydrated...Sorry to stereotype but he is a typical man and doesn't go to doc when he should. He gets sick easily etc...the list goes on. I could get even angrier and vent but it would be a waste of energy. He just doesn't follow through on what the doctors tell him. I am suppose to go out of town today for the weekend. My parents have agreed to take our three kids for the weekend so he can continue to get rest. I feel guilty for leaving but he is on the mend now...Would you still travel?

Update...My hubby and parents insist I go. It is for my high school reunion. Ticket paid for non refundable.

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So What Happened?

Thanks Mama's...I did go and I had an awesome time! It was so good to reconnect with my friends I've stayed in touch with but haven't seen in ages.....My parents were a big help and hubby had downtime. Kids went home with him over the weekend at his request. He is back to work but not a 100% but he continues to get better and I am taking good care of him. Thanks for your support and encouragement. :)

Featured Answers

C.

answers from Hartford on

Definately go. For me, a weekend all alone would be the best prescription for recuperating.
Have fun,
C.

3 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

go and have fun! also consider getting these vitamins for hubby. my hubby and i have been taking them and haven't been sick at all! http://www.YummyLiquidVitamins.com It's less than $50 per month and is premixed so it's easy to take. it's sooo worth it! he will feel like a new man without all the shakes and quesiness that some other stuff gives you!

2 moms found this helpful

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

Yup.

It would be different if it were your kids who had been sick. Plus, not to minimize, but he was dehydrated-that's pretty fixable.

I feel your pain-I have a sick often hubby too..and since we've had kids I'm a lot less sympathetic. Cuz when he knows he's getting sick-go to the friggin' doctor instead of trying to be manly and wait it out. All that ever accomplishes is me single parenting more! :)

So-yea-GO...and have fun!

5 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Yes, go. Your husband is a grown man. He won't have any children to take care of so he'll be fine. Go, and make sure you give him lots of appreciation, respect, and love before you go!

5 moms found this helpful
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S.A.

answers from New York on

he's a big boy, he sounds fine. Go!

4 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Detroit on

YES!!!! while it is a bummer he was in the hospital he is out now and it doesn't sound like he is on his death bed, you have the kids taken care of so he can't complain you expect too much out of him while he is still sick. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!! and have fun! Sounds like you need a break. Your husband can take care of himself.

3 moms found this helpful
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B.H.

answers from Detroit on

Yes, I would go!!. He told you to go and probably don't want you there mothering him.LOL

3 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Chicago on

RUN - don't walk - and go have a good time!

He's a big boy who can take care of himself. The kids are in good hands and will probably have a blast at their grandparents.

Don't spend one minute feeling guilty. Think of the gifts you're giving - the kids get special, uninterrupted time with the grandparents, the grandparents get to spoil their grandbabies, your husband gets to have quiet time in his own home...by himself. Besides, if your husband didn't want to end up sick then he should have taken care of himself properly in the first place, right?

So if anyone should be feeling guilty - it should be him!

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Go! Have a great time.. He is a big boy and he will be fine.. Maybe he needs to finally learn to take care of himself.

I know EXACTLY how you feel..

I tell my husband,"" I do not want to hear your complaining about not feeling good, until you go to the doctor and find out what is going on"..

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

GO! He's a grown up and as you said -he's on the mend. Imagine how angry you'll be if you stay there instead this weekend! I'm sure he can dial 911 or a friend or relative if he has an issue. Have fun!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Columbus on

GO GIRL, GO! Don't feel guilty, it was planned and paid for, it's not like you're leaving *because* he's sick. Have fun, he'll have a great time having the house to himself- wouldn't you!?

1 mom found this helpful
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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

I'd go but then again I had pneumonia and 3kids to take care of and he still only had work. Go and have a great time and let him have quiet rest. If you don't go you may resent him if and likely you stayed home to wait on him when he is a capable adult. He told to to go ahead and go so go.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

Go and don't feel guilty. Your husband will probably love to have the house to himself and the kids may have a blast at grandma's. Everyone gets a little vacation!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like you could really use a break and have been looking forward to going. As long as he has a phone by him and plenty of liquids to drink I say go. You staying home and being more exposed isn't really helping anyone. Have a great night out and NO GUILT. I am sure he is looking forward to getting some sleep. That is the last thing you do in a hospital.

Take care

J.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I would go. He's an adult, he can take care of himself. Some downtime might be exactly what he needs to recover. He can spend the weekend resting.
Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.M.

answers from Chicago on

GO!!!!!! Where is the problem? YOUR PARENTS are taking care of the kids!!! All he has to do is to take care of himself!! Have a great time!

1 mom found this helpful
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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

Definitely go. Enjoy yourself, and get some well deserved R&R.

However, when you get back, sit down with him and have a heart to heart with him about his health.

I think he just doesn't "get it" that his health (and lack of taking care of his health) effects not just him, but all those who love him, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Tell him that you love him and you want him to be around for a very long time, but you are concerned, especially with this last hospitalization, that he won't be. Tell him you want him to be around to see and play with his grandkids and enjoy his retirement. Then, tell him you want to help him with this issue, and try to brainstorm some things that will work to help him take care of himself more.

Then, follow through. But he is responsible for his own health and care. If he keeps ignoring it, maybe it's time to see if he is depressed (depression in men often shows itself as lack of concern about their own health and hygiene).

1 mom found this helpful
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V.V.

answers from Houston on

Go! I'm thinking he is lucky to have the house to himself for a whole weekend! Even if it is to recover.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

since it's a high school reunion and those only happen once every 10 years, yes, you should go.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would go, he can take care of himself.

C.F.

answers from Boston on

GO :-) Enjoy the quiet time. he's an adult and should act like one. not fair to make things harder on YOU because he's not willing to Take Care of himself!

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Depends...
Why are you going out of town?
Could you postpone until next weekend?
Have you paid for hotel, etc, where you would loose a significant amount of money if you canceled?
Yes, I'm sure he's fine and he can take care of himself, but I'm also sure he would like to have you arround. Husbands are like babies when they're sick, they need our love and nuturing.

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