Give Back the Pacifier?

As a mom who has been trying to break a 4 year old of thumb sucking for nearly a year and a half please give her the paci back. My son never would take a paci but when my daughter was born i insisted (even brought my own to the hospital) since my son is a thumb sucker. My daughter (who will be 3 on Sunday) now only uses her paci at night and my son still sucks his thumb regularly any time he feels stressed in any way.

Yes, give her the paci back. YOu don't want to have to try to break a thumb-sucking habit later!

What makes you think that when you eventually take the paci away the thumbsucking won't start back? I think you are just delaying the inevitable if you let her get hooked on the paci now. I'd take it away and see if the thumbsucking keeps up or if she forgets about it after she forgets the paci in a few days.

I would certainly lean more towards the pacifier if given a straight choice between that or the thumb. If she does go for the thumb when a pacifier is not available then yes i would make them available to her. It is a much easier habit to break then with the thumb sucking.

There are of course other things you can do to try to stop both now. Such as redirecting her when she does one or the other with some other activity. It can be a good bit tedious of course, but would most likely yield the best results in the long run.

Both of my children used pacifiers, but neither ever really picked up thumb sucking. In both cases they simply stopped using them over time. I know there are those cases say walking down the street where you see a parent and their toddler that looks perhaps 3-4 years old and still using a pacifier. However in most cases by this age most kids will hit that point where a lot of things 'are for babies' and they will simply stop using them. So i say let it go for now, try to stay away from the thumb sucking if at all possible, ive known of people who continued to suck their thumb well into teenage years for various reasons. So yeah try to avoid letting that happen now while you still can :)

Maybe her need to suck is a normal childhood behavior and out of your control...

My siblings and I all sucked our thumbs until we were from 5 to 7 years old and we all grew up just fine. Our teeth are fine.

My kids were binky babies. Never once did they suck their thumbs. I was able to control the habit by allowing it only at nap/bed time and in the car. When I pulled them out of their cribs, they had to drop it themselves. It was kinda cute, always a "bye bye binky! see you tonight!" They self-weaned at around age 2.5. It was never a battle because we allowed them to have control of when they wanted to quit.

Fast forward... I have worked in an elementary school for five years now. Every year, without fail, I see kids sucking their thumb when they are stressed. Mostly in kindergarten, but I have seen as high as second grade, too.

You are right, there are many differing opinions, and my personal opinion is that thumb sucking is harder to break than pacifier use. You do what works best for you, but if you want my vote: give it back. :)

If she needs to suck she needs to suck. It is an ingrained response that she isn't really able to control. It's like telling someone to not yawn. As soon as you do it they start to yawn then the next person does it then the next until everyone in the room has yawned.

She needs to suck. So mom, what are you willing to let her suck?

Her fingers will do so much damage to her bone structure that major surgery as a teen where they break her jaw and wire it shut to place it correctly is the only fix for the recessed jaw bone.

That's what the doc told us when we took my daughter to see about braces. Her teeth were not too bad but he said to not waste our money unless we were willing to really fix her bones too. Then he placed his hand across her chin and showed us her profile with his hand there. That's how much her bone was deformed. The depth of his hand plus more. It was shocking.

So I can tell you that a pacifier is going to do way less damage that a finger.

Hmmm. This is a tough one. My son was a thumb sucker and yes, it's a hard habit to break. But it's not impossible. My BIL is a dentist and although thumb sucking is worse on the pallet, neither are good for her teeth. If she is going to be a thumb sucker, she'll be a thumb sucker. So the question becomes, are you just putting off the inevitable?

Not knowing your situation, I can't give a strong opinion on this one. But you have to make a firm decision. Right now, it's been taken away. But you cave and give it to her when she gets loud in public. In her brain it's not really gone. If you decide to give it back to her to help her sleep, will it only be used for sleeping or anytime she wants it? Again, you just have to decide what the rules are and stick to them.

And it's ok if you aren't ready to give it up. There are recommendations for everything under the sun...only you know what is best for your family. So make that choice, decide the limits and stick to it. GL Mama!

Does she have any other lovey that she is attached to? Maybe you could start letting her take her blanket in the car.

I've written on here before about this happening sometimes when you take the pacifier away. I think, personally, to give it back would confuse her and she could do both then. I would just let it alone if it was me. I had one do that when I took his pacifier and he just had to 'outgrow' it, which he did.

I would buy her a special quiet toy that she only gets in cars for long trips and at restaurants. Like one of those squeezy squishy balls. Could be something she can only have under supervision because its a choking hazard. It lives in a special place in the car and cannot enter your house and become an every day toy. Or carry tiny lollipops.

In all likelihood she WILL suck her thumb when you take the pacis away, no matter when you take them away.

I know I sound like the "mean mama" here, but I stand by what I said when I answered your first question about this, toss the pacis and help her learn self-soothing techniques, at 23 months she isn't a baby and almost a preschooler. Sorry, parenting isn't for wimps, and sometimes we have to do things our little ones don't like ღ

And if you want to help her to stop sucking her thumb, here's some tips and info for you:
http://www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/9-ways-to-wean-a-chi...
http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-stop-thumb-...
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/thumbsucking.htm

Wow this is tough. I'm the mom of a thumb sucker as well (who will be 5 in Sept) and it's tough. We have recently weaned only to nighttime but that was difficult. I see your train of thought I really I do but honestly, I agree with those that said if she's found her thumb now maybe it won't matter when you take the paci away. Or maybe she'll realize how awesome her thumb is and is already hooked! LOL! I don't know, I say give it some time. Try to get her thumb out of her mouth...just keep telling her it's the same as the paci and we only do it during nap time or whatever. Try that first I think.