Getting 3 1/2 Month Old to Sleep in Crib

Updated on November 14, 2006
X.S. asks from Seattle, WA
15 answers

Ok, so I knew I was creating a possible situation when we were allowing our daughter to sleep with us from birth. All other moms I know had their babies in bassinets and cribs. So now, at three 1/2 months, I am trying to get my little one sleep in her crib. She has been consistently sleeping for 8 hours for at least a month now, and she normally goes down very easily. But last night she was screaming, ctying, almost to an inconsolable point. Finally, I gave in and put her in our bed and she calmed right down and went to sleep. So I am wondering if any of you have any advice for me as I am feeling guilty and regretful! Any advice would help!

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

The sooner you do it the easier it will be. If you are persistant the transition will be faster. Maybe start by having her take her naps in her crib, do that for a couple weeks and then do the night time transition.

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J.E.

answers from Billings on

Hello i am a mother of 4 and have always had my kids sleep with me and my hubby. I have had people say i was going to regret it but i never have. i think that they have been in you for 40 weeks and then all of sudden you want them to sleep in a crib or bassanet when they just want your warmth and smell on them.Also i think its great cause my oldest 10 now doesnt want to sleep with us or anything so as i say enjoy it while it lasts cause someday they wont want anything to do with you. hope that helps.......

try sleeping with the blankets for your smell on them and then put them around her so she smells it or what i have done when my babies didnt feel good i would lay on there beds or blankets and get them all warm and then lay them down on them and that helped.

hope it all works out for you . take care J.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

http://www.hush-baby.com/

I bought this for my 3 month old girl. We play it when she goes in her crib to sleep. She is out in no time. She will sleep 11 hours stetches. Good Luck!

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F.R.

answers from Spokane on

My son slept with my husband and I until that age. What I started doing was laying him in his crib for his afternoon naps so he'd get used to his crib. Then after a week I started putting him in his bed at night, he'd cry for a while, but if you can hold out for about 10-15 minutes it makes all the difference. Just let her cry for a bit so she understands you aren't going to rush in and come get her right away. The more consistent you are the easier it will be for your daughter to adjust to the change. I hope that helps.

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

First of all, whether or not you decide to have your child sleep with you in your bed, in a bassinet or crib in your room, or alone in their own room is an entirely personal choice. I think there are pros & cons to both choices & need to make the choice that is right for your family & not care what others opinions of it is.

That being said, if you decide you do want her to sleep in her crib in her own room here is what I did. My daughter slept in a co-sleeper (bedside bassinet) until she was around 2 or 3 mo. old. When I did make the switch she did have some rough nights. When she would wake-up hysterically the first couple of nights, I would get her and nurse her back to sleep. Then I would put her back. After about 2 or 3 nights of that I then started to let her cry it out a bit. I would let her cry for 10min. (I had to watch the clock because 10min. seems a lot longer when your baby is crying), if she was still crying I would then get her and nurse her back to sleep. After a couple more days she was back to sleeping as well as she had when she was in my room. My daughter is now 2yrs. old and I still use the 10min. rule on the very rare night that she wakes up. Her cries are easier to interpret now, so if she sounds as if she is hurt or truly scared or something, then I go get her immediately. I just try to trust my Mommy's instinct.

Good luck whatever you decide!

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H.B.

answers from Portland on

I did the something. My daughter would sleep with me and my boyfriend until she was 3 months old. Before then i tried to get her to sleep in her bed but she would not have it. I started to put her in her crib during the day for naps and then one night i put her in her crib and she just went to sleep. She still fusses a little when i put her down but i think that is because i am trying to get her on a sleeping routine. Just try the nap thing and she will get used to sleeping in her own bed during the day and get comfortable and eventually she will sleep there at night.

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C.M.

answers from Eugene on

My daughter is almost 11 months old and has always been in our bed. We have just recently been trying to get her to sleep in her own bed and it can be hard. What we found works best for us is to set up a bedtime routine. At the same time every night we quiet the house and turn down the lights. We give her a bath and then read a story. I nurse her and then her Dad puts her to bed. If I try to put her down she will just cry and cry. It has always been that way. She sleeps great until about 1 am then we bring her to bed with us. This way we get to have some time in our bed to ourselves and we still get to wake up to her sweet smile. I love having her in our bed, but know I will be ready to have it just us again soon. Our nurse gave us this information and said that in time, as she becomes more comfortable in her own bed, she will stay in it all night. I think co-sleeping is great and plan on doing it with our future children too. I just never felt right about her being so far away. Hope this helps and good luck.

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L.H.

answers from Seattle on

We co slept with our baby for 12 months and we got a lot of disapproving looks when we told people, we were told we would raise a needy baby and that it would stunt her mental growth. We were told that we would never get her out of our bed and that she would never learn to self soothe. Turns out none of that was right, she is 22 months now and has been sleeping in her own twin size bed in her own room through the night with no night waking for well over 8 months now. She is ahead of every milestone and is a very independent little girl. Don’t let people tell you co sleeping is bad, its how thousands of generations of people have raised their children. Babies’ having their own room is a relatively new idea. Of course if you just want to have your bed back (there were a lot of times we wanted that too :) ) the thing that worked for us transitioning our daughter was
#1 get a nightlight
#2 get a fan and turn it on low
#3 get a radio and play npr (national public radio) on a volume that is just about even with or just above the fan noise.
#4 give a warm bath, fill that tummy and give a slow rock.

at the very beginging we would do the feeding in our bed and when she was done eating we would move to her room to rock with the lights out and the sterio, nightlight and fan on. If she was extra fussy I would breastfeed her down (rocking in her room) or give her a warm bottle of chamomile tea (very weakly brewed)after a while we didn’t even rock her we would just sit in the room with her until she was asleep.I feel like we really didn’t have many sleepless nights it seems like it worked well for us, good luck!

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K.Z.

answers from Portland on

Don't let ANYONE make you feel bad for sleeping with your baby! She was inside you for 9 months and is missing that closeness. She needs to bond with you. If your bed is big enough, I say don't push her away just yet. Why does our culture feel the need to put babies in their own space, away from what they want which is the warmth and heartbeat of Mama? Children need to feel they have the love and support of their parents early on. With that support in their hearts, they will learn independence on their own and it will be theirs to find, not yours to assign.

This may help you with all parenting choices - just listen to your baby's cues. Know her cry and what she wants and give it to her as soon as possible. You will build her trust and she will know her needs will be met and later (after 1) you can start asking her to wait a little if you need to and she will still know her needs will be met and will learn patience.

I say let them sleep with you as long as you want, especially as long as you are nursing. That is so much easier when she is sleeping right there next to you and you don't have to wake up or get out of bed to do it! You just do it and both go back to sleep, it is the sweetest thing.

For me it helped to stop listening to what "others" thought I should be doing with my child and follow my heart. I knew my son wanted to be close to me and at 2 he is still sleeping with us. Now I can't imagine him in another room all alone! We do have a King sized bed, so that helps! But if you don't, you could try the side car idea of setting up the crib next to your bed (push to the wall so it can't move). Then you will have your space while not having to get up when she wakes. You can bring her to you to nurse and set her back there when she is good and asleep again. But I wouldn't even do that until she is 5 or 6 mos. Enjoy the time you have together, it goes by so fast!!!

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S.M.

answers from Portland on

We put our children's cribs right next to our bed and took the rail off, put the crib between the wall and our bed so there was a tight fit. and our children slept in "their crib" but were close enough to feel safe and that they were with us. I don't see any problem with sleeping with your children, your bond will be strong and she will feel safe. We are the only culture in this world that has such a stigma attached to sleeping with our children. Granted around age 3 it gets annoying, but my son is almost 2 and sleeps in his own bed, our daughter is on a matress in our room on the floor. We have no qualms about sleeping with our children though. My advice is to embrace being a mother and do what is best for you two.. ot what all your girl friends are doing. good luck

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D.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I would put her down for her naps in the crib until she gets used to sleeping in there and then when you feel she is ready just put her in there at night. You may need to stay near-by, but a little further away every night. I'd do it quickly though before seperation anxiety peaks!

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A.D.

answers from Great Falls on

I too am a first time mother of a 3 1/2 month old daughter. My daughter sleeps in her bassinet for the first few hours at night. Around 11:30 she wakes up and is ready to nurse. Since this is when I am just going to bed, it is easier to bring her into bed with me. It started this when she was about 8 weeks old. I have not regreted it since. And now that I am back to work, and miss most of the day with my little girl, I enjoy holding her close at night. Do you feel you have to get your daughter to sleep in a crib because it is the norm? Or are you ready to have your own space? I ask because, if you are putting your daughter in a crib because you feel like you should, then you need to know that many many parents out there share thier bed with their children. If you and your spouse are happy with her there, no worries, just keep doing what you are doing. If you are not happy with the situation, or sleep better with her in the crib, then now is probably a good time to begin the transition. One thing that my husband and I did when our daughter woke up everytime I put her down, was to put a heating pad in her bassinet about 2 or 3 minutes before putting her down. Once she was laid down, I would hold her hands or hold my body close to her until she had settled in and feel back asleep. I hope these small suggestions help.

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D.K.

answers from Portland on

You seem to be getting lots of advice. The bottom line is that you are doing what is right for you and your family. CoSleeping works for some. IF you are wanting to make the transition though I suggest the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. It was invaluable to me trying to figure out how to get my little man to sleep in his own crib (mostly because our bed is not big enough and I woke up constantly when he was in the bassinet nex to me) through the night. Patients and consistancy are key and working out a routine so she knows what to expect next. If you end up trying it I hope it helps you as much as it did me. (my 5 month old sleeps through the night in his own snuggly crib)

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G.S.

answers from Anchorage on

Well, there are 2 camps here!!!! One camp makes you feel like a terrible mother if our baby sleeps with you and the othere says do what works for your family. Let dad have a vote!!!:)
I personally have a 16 yr old and 7 mo old and see nothing wrong with your children sleeping with you (if your bed is big enough) There are safety issues to consider, as long as noone is drinking or taking Rx drugs. Or if you or your husband are such sound sleepers that you don't remember that she is there.....I for one know how fast their childhood goes and if she sleeps better and longer and it isn't keeping you awake, (except for the worrying over this topic)..I say let her sleep with you. I do put my lil boy to bed in his hammock and he will wake up and when I put him in bed to nurse he eats a little and goes back to sleep with us.....In other countries this is the norm. I don't advertise this to everyone, because I really don't want to hear why they think it is wrong. When my daughter got older I made it a treat once in a while instead of making her feel kicked out!!!Good luck, she will be well adjusted and bonded to you no matter what you choose. Don't let "THEM" decide what is best for you!
G.

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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My advise is buy a bigger bed Mine are 3 and a half and almost 2 and they are STILL in my bed.
Good luck.

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