Family Members on Facebook

LOL...I don't blame you. I would just have another FB profile made that's friends only where you can be free to say anything. I understand what you're saying about the privacy issue. I don't say bad things about my family on there, but I wouldn't want my mom or MIL looking constantly.

About the pics...well, I don't think there's anything you can do. Either just ignore it or laugh at it.

Good luck with everything!

I would shut down the page and tell them I don't have time to do FB anymore. I would make a new page under an ussumed name if you want to stay on it. That is what a friend of mine did. You just have to invite the people you want on there and expect that old friends won't find you unles you have invited them.

My question is what do you have to hide? You really should look at it that way. I am on facebook and Myspace. My mother (58) is on facebook. I am cautious about my wording out of respect but I do not hide anything. If you have pictures you do not want on-line of you then maybe you should rethink what you do in front of the camera. I am not trying to be mean but I feel like you may want to look as to why you are having these feelings instead of poiting at your family members first.

As far as the unflattering pics being posted, I say that is the risk we all take when we participate in Facebook or any other online group.

As far as your mom is concerned, that would bother me too. But again, the risk we take...

However.....I guess you need to evaluate the impact of deleting her, and will the negative reaction damage your relationship, or is it already strained? She seems to be living vicariously through your posts, and perhaps is so bored in her own life and is in a bad habit on hanging on every post you make.

If she will just be irritated, and will get over it, I say delete her. It would bug me too (and I'm 46!).

Facebook seems to be the place for adults, where as Myspace seems the place for younger people. Facebook is free to all, no matter the age, so you would probably totally insult her. Like any site, watch what you post and don't post anything disparaging about friends or family. It's not private, so keep it light and connect with family and friends.

Based on your posts, it seems like you have issues with your family. You might want to deal that, maybe speak to a pastor or counselor.

Yeah, my mom's on there too. I thought I had a good idea when I set up a myspace account specifically for family, then I didn't tell her I had facebook hoping the myspace would be enough.... but she found me. To answer your question, no I don't think 50 is too old. I think it is fine for anyone of any age to be on there. I have friends of many ages and walks of life as my fb friends, and am glad to have some that are older. However, I understand it can be annoying. The fact is there is nothing you can really do w/o offending her. No matter what advice you get here it comes down to delete her and face the consequences, or don't. Only you know how she may react. I wouldn't delete my mom. I post a lot of silly stuff on mine... inside jokes with friends etc, and I think my mom got bored with asking about it because I gave her answers she found boring. My diatribe on NBC programming lately was enough to bore anyone's socks off! It was unintentional on my part, but you could probably do something similar. Post a bunch about your favorite TV show or a cause you are into, etc - one you know she finds uninteresting. After a month or so she'll probably get bored with your profile :) As for your sister, just tell her you don't want anyone posting pictures of your kids. You have every right to stop her doing that and get them removed if she does. You can easily report those through fb and they'll act quickly since minors would be involved. As for bad pics of you, unfortunately that is a product of the age we are living in. There are some scary ones of me out there too. If this all bothers you too much just shut down your page and start a new one under a different name and email and invite close friends only. But really - they are your family. If this bothers you that much, I think it is time for you to have a heart to heart with your family.

No offense, but anything you put up on the internet is public. And I am not sure how facebook works, but if someone puts up a pic of you that you do not approve of on MySpace, I believe you can report them and have it removed. My 60-something year old mom is on my MySpace. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it. It is made to keep in touch with people and keep UPDATED on whatever they post.

Wow... that's too bad that your family is misusing Face Book like that. I am 47 and a Mother of 5 kids. The two oldest from my first marriage are 26 and 23. It was my 23 year old daughter who encouraged me to be on Face Book to share pictures with her. We now live in the same town so we don't communicate with each other that way as much. My 26 year old son is not on Face Book. But since I also moved it is a way for me to keep in touch with friends back in San Diego from my younger kids' play groups. ( 6, 4 and 3 years old) Initially I thought I was too old for Face Book but it seems more mature than My Space. And I would never push myself on my kids' friends to be my friends on FB but some of them are by choice. If for some reason my daughter wanted to delete me as a friend I don't think I would take it personally. I would wonder what she was doing that she wasn't proud of but, hey... it's her life and her business. I would think if you talked to your Mom about it and she still didn't respect your space that she should be deleted. You could just tell her that you got too busy for FB and she would never know that it was just her you singled out.

Good luck,
K.

K., You can create a new friends list that has very limited privs and add your sis and mom to it. You can set your privs such that the people on this list are blocked from seeing your wall, your albums etc. This way you can have your cake and eat it too. As for the unflattering pictures posted by others, you can let your family know that you don't want any pictures of yours on Facebook. Maybe they will listen if you tell them nicely. Good luck!

I like Joanna's advice - start your own "private" page for family & friends that you choose, and have your "public" family/friends page where you can bore the pants off your mom :) Thank goodness my family members aren't that computer literate, although some of them are that annoying LOL ;)

Okay, I'm 50, and no, I'm not on Facebook or MySpace. Not really interested in any of that, or what my 20 something adult children may be posting. Just hope that they (and you) know that nothing on there is completely private, but I do think having a separate private page may make it easier with your mom without hurting her feelings. As for your sister, she's probably looking to get a big reaction out of you with the threat, so since you've already said no to the posting of the pictures, I'd not bring it up again unless you see she does it. Not being on these sites, I'm not familiar with the posting rules, but I would hope posting pictures of someone without their permission (and especially identifying them) wouldn't be ok. Can people have their profiles banned for doing stuff like this? If so, and she does it, tell her to remove the pics or you will report the violation, and follow through. Just my personal opinion, but, as an adult, my life is too full for these sites (and I am computer literate) and they seem more suited for teens and ocllege kids. But hey, if you enjoy it, it's for you.

OUCH!! I am 47 ,but I look 30's, is that ok!!!

I have a Myspace account and it has nothing on it. My 14 yr old daughter has a Myspace account and I would not DREAM of being on her site of having her on mine. I monitor her site weekly by using her id and her password which is a rule of the house.

If I thought for a minute that my mom was monitoring me I would delete her in a second. You are an adult and you deserve your privacy.

If you want a private Myspace account...set one up for family only.

As for pictures........Make sure your family knows that if they post a pic of you online and it is copied and used.....it is a legal issue.

I had a relative post an innocent pic of me and the pic showed up on an adult site advertising for a lesbian lover. Yes, this is a true story. Someone surfing the net that knew me happened to see it. Of course it was removed promptly but I have no idea how long the fake post was there. This was a face pic!!

Personally, I would shut the page down and start a new one OR start a new one with friends only.

Honestly, it sounds like the issue isn't really Facebook but rather the relationship between you and your mother and you and your sibling. If your mother is looking on FB to see what is happening in your life it appears that she is not involved in a more personal level. I don't know what your relationship is with her but she is clearly hungry to be involved in your life on any level. As for your sibling...well, that's silly and immature on her part. You can complain to FB if she posts pictures of your family without your permission citing privacy. You can remove her as a friend or remove any tags on photos. I would say though that you probably need to fix things "in real life" and that would probably resolve the online issues.

My mom is almost 60 and is on Facebook. I'm 35, my brother is 25 and my sister (her stepdaughter) is 50. She has "friended" most of the same friends as me. She lives 4 houses down from me, yet still wants to chat with me on FB. She comments on most of the things I post. I just deal with it. It kinda ensures that I don't post anything on FB that I wouldn't want my mom to see. hahaha. Anyway, it's a public site and future employers can look up your page and make judgments based on what they see there so you don't want anything too personal. I use chat and send message to people when I don't want anyone else looking at it. You can also select the Go Offline option on the bottom right hand corner to keep her from chatting with you while you are online. If your sister posts an unflattering pic of you, you can just remove the link to your name. Don't take it too seriously. It could be worse, my best friend's ex-husband tried to "friend" her on FB yesterday. Talk about someone you don't want up in your business!

I'm not sure it has to do with the age of the person, it's more like their technoligical savviness. My MIL is on both myspace and facebook and blog and everything else you can be on. She designs web sites. Yeah, she looks at all my stuff and comments but she doesn't do it annoyingly. She has almost all the same friends as me. I think the bottom line is that she "gets" the online communities. My friend's mom isn't so savvy and she's constantly bugging her about posting FB pics, etc.
I guess it is our relationship because I don't post anything that she doesn't already know about usually and I'm not that private of a person anyway, everyone knows all my business, I have nothing to hide. It honestly bugged me at first that I couldn't be anywhere without her but I guess I am used to it now. (and she lives in Pennsylvania so she craves pics of our son and us and has nothing else keeping her busy up there)
Good luck!

My aunts who are in their 60's and 70's are on facebook. With me in Texas and them in New Jersey and North Carolina is the best way for us to keep in touch. (I am 31). They enjoy seeing pictures of my sons etc. But if you don't want them to see stuff or read stuff either block them from certain sections or delete them... SOrry for the relationship strain