I am throwing a baby shower for my sister in law, and looking at her registries, she has one registry with just her baby furniture on it (crib, changing table, bookshelf). This seems a little presumptuos to me to expect people to be buying your furniture for your baby. I understand smaller ticket items (car seat,bassinet, etc), I am just not so sure about the bigger items. I dont think people should ever feel obligated to buy things like that, just like most people would not register for couches, beds, kitchen tables etc. for a wedding. It is wonderful if people offer to do that, but I dont think it should be expected. Just wanted to know other peoples opinions, and if I should mention something to her, if others deem it tacky or innappropriate. In my family this would not be appropriate, but things may be different here in Utah.
Thankyou to all who responded, I really do appreciate the feedback! The culture here is just so different than what I know, I just wanted to check with others before I did or said anything based on my own experience and background. I think that if grandparents want to buy the big ticket items or look at furniture to purchase that is wonderful, it is just not something that I would put out there as apart of a registry for people who are going to be purchasing gifts for a shower. I am not going to worry about it. Just wondered if that was something that was normal here. I am quickly learning that things are done differently here, and there are set guidelines and rules to be followed within the culture. I hope I will start to get into the groove and way of life here soon. Thanks again!!
To me registry is just a bunch of things I need. I never expect anyone to get everything off my list. If she needs those things then she can register for them and if someone feels extra generous they can get them for her but they probably won't. When I look at someone's registry I never pay attention to everything on it I just look at stuff I can afford or want to get for them.
Perhaps my view of registries is different from others (?) but I don't think that your sister-in-law is "expecting" anything from anyone. The point of making a registry is that there are times in life where people want to buy you things, like when you have a baby. They would ideally like to buy you something you would really like to have and need and enjoy. So, you make a list to give those people ideas. And, since Grandma Jane is likely to spend more money on you and baby than your co-worker, you put a variety of items on your list. Also, especially if this is her first baby, she is probably just really excited about all the cute things for her nursery that she found at the store and wants everyone else to see the cute things that she would have in her ideal nursery. I enjoy looking at other's registries just to see their tastes and excitement emerge. I used to work at Babies 'R' Us, and though I saw many expectant moms walk around with comments of "Oh! Look how cute this is!" I never once heard one say "Oh! Lets put this on the registry so someone will buy it for us!" And, though I do live in Utah now, I grew up far from here, so I don't think it is just a Utah thing. Just love her and forgive her this little faux pax (or however you spell it...) as you see it.
I would say that registering for something is just making up a wish list -- not expecting someone to buy the items on the registry. I've been to a lot of showers where attendees (older women, especially) would rather contribute money to a group gift than go out shopping, so it's always nice to have a larger item that can function in that way. Also, if grandparents want to help out with a big-ticket item, then she's already chosen the wants she wants, and that makes that easier.
when i go shopping for things on a registry, i just ignore anything that is over my price limit. i assume that those higher priced things are registered for because of wishful thinking or for the benefit of parents or grandparents who are willing and able to spend more money. it is not unusual in my family for a grandmother or mother to combine monies with an aunt to buy something over $100 for a first baby.
I think that it is a bit presumptuous, however, I know that people often like to go into together to buy items that are needed. since the crib is essential, and sometimes expensive I think that it is ok. Every baby shower I have ever been to had registered for the crib. its also a way of showing the grandparents what crib they want..since they tend to buy the big ticket items. When you are having a baby expecially your first you want everything new and to your liking. I hope that helps!
A.
I know when I did my registry, I registered for everything I still needed. I didn't expect someone to get me the big ticket items. It was more of a list for me to know what I still wanted, and if someone wanted to buy things off it, then they could!
A.,
I am from Utah and, formerly, from California. I agree with you. Expecting others to provide big ticket items is possibly tacky. It is possible, though, that those are the things she really needs. What you can do without overburdening anyone, is go in together, as a group, and get one or more of the items for her. We have done this for fellow employees where I work, and it works well for everyone.
You register for what you need. How about asking the guests to go in on something big? That's how we do it with our big family in Utah. Maybe she has no real expectation of getting it, but figured what the heck! Might as well try. I wouldn't be too put out about it, or mention it. You are under no obligation to get what she asks for, but what you can afford and what you WANT to get her Don't let this come between you and the joy your SIL is feeling right. Get what you decide, and have fun. Maybe you and your family can get together and get something for her. Or, take her to a yard-sale, and see what you can find together.
Good luck.
