Does Anyone Have a Child with Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Try reading " The New Dare to Discipline" By James Dobson. I am sorry you are having such a tough time. We got a lot of insight from that book. My 22 month old daughter is very oppinionated and stubborn (lol my mom says I deserve it, I was the same way) and the methods in the book really worked, and made it a lot more fun to spend time with her.

I noticed you'd gotten some really good answers, but also wanted to suggest the yahoo group on ODD. Infinite Blessings!

My son is now 6 1/2 years old, about two years ago we started taking him to a childrens councelor. They told me that he had ODD. There were moments that i thought i would lose my mind. I know what you are feeling. Now that he has grown up a bit he is changing. He is learning more about life and how his actions effect things.
Looking back I think he was so desperatly trying to get a reaction from me. For him negative attention was still attention. We ended emptying his room of all of his things. Completly empty except for his bed and clothes. We made him very slowly earn back his belongings one by one. I used to have to physically restrain him durring his tantrums. He would hit, bite, spit and say terrible things. Remember that he is just a child, dont let those things hurt you emotionally. It is easy to let the frustration wear you down.
Be careful to not use ODD as a way to justify his behavior. He is still so little, make sure he KNOWS that you are in charge. Be strong... remember, he feels frustration when he cant get you to understand something. Help him learn positive outlets.

Yes, my 10 year old stepson also has ODD. I have found that when his tantrums get out of control, being also that he is older and much bigger now...as cruel as it may seem, I sit on him. This is not only to protect me from swinging arms and legs, but to protect himself. I hold him down and just keep repeating that he needs to calm down, and that I will get up when he is done and calm. Eventually he quits fighting, breathes hard for a little bit, and then everything is over. With ODD, they try to defy every bit of discipline you enforce...even to their own detriment. They are their own worst enemy and don't realize it. If you send him to his room, and he doesn't go..just tell him ok. Have everyone else in the room leave him. Later, when it is calm enough, he needs to apologize and make ammends to everyone who had to go out of their way, or drop what they were doing because he wouldn't listen. This can work for all punishments imposed. Best advise...try what you can to get it under control now...they only get bigger, stronger, and more determined. We have also resorted to phsychiatric counseling as well. Many of the medications out there don't do much to help, unless you are using all the tools available. And we've found, that counseling is the best tool of all, and meds haven't been needed.

While my own child doesn't have ODD, pre-baby I worked as a youth counselor in a group foster home for teenage girls, and 5 out of the 6 girls who lived there were diagnosed with it. I learned a few things quickly. The best advice I can give is not to immediately jump to the ODD as the reason for every single tantrum, or defiance of your rules - a lot of it has to do with experimentation with rules and boundaries. The second piece of advice is to set up strict boundaries - punishment needs to be swift, yet compassionate. Always remind your son after a spanking or altercation that above all, you love him. Be angry and stern with him, punish him, and when the time is right, explain your actions. I'm not saying that a 3.5/yr old will understand logic, but to be treated with a little respect will go a surprisingly long way. Some of the girls I worked with would rebel against me or argue with me just for the sake of it - remember that YOU are the parent, you set the ground rules, and they must be obeyed.
I would also recommend finding a good child therapist who specializes in kids with ODD - they can communicate with your child in a manner that he might respond to better, and he can also give you help at home.
I hope this has helped, best wishes to you and your family.
Love,
M.

http://www.klis.com/chandler/pamphlet/oddcd/oddcdpamphlet...

This link had some good ideas and information.

If you go to the libary at all there is a video it's called i think the 123 step program. I used it for my boys who have adhd. It really works. My dr for akron childrens recommended it to me. And ever since i've used that program i don't have much problem with my boys. Yeah the first cpl weeks using it was hard to get them use to the swing of things but now it's been 3 yrs later and my boys listen to me befor the dad , And it's all because i use that. Well Good luck and hope all goes well!

Hello, my name is M. and my son has autism but the more I read your issue, my son sounds like that to. He's so stubborn and he treats me so differently than others. Throughout his nine years, I've heard either that I'm not implementing the behavior plan or I'm not consistent enough. I will speak to my son's shrink on odd. I've never heard of it but I appreciate you talking about it because my son has been so difficult lately. If you like to talk with me about it, my email is ____@____.com. I get so beaten down and worn out with his behaviors, some days are better than others.

I agree with the suggestion to read James Dobson's book. He is an excellent author and would be a great reference for you. I don't have any specific help for you for ODD, but one thing I have always heard is when kids throw temper tantrums, you should totally walk out of the room and ignore them. When they realize they aren't getting the desired response, the will eventually stop throwing the tantrums altogether. The other thing to do is be consistent. If you say you are going to do something, or take away something, do it, no matter what. If you say you are going to do something, and then don't follow through, you are teaching him that he is in control, not you, and that what you say doesn't matter. Do what you need to do to protect yourself, and don't let him laughing once at a spanking deter you from using that as a punishment. I am glad you are seeking help now, while he is still smaller than you. The longer you wait, the harder it is to control him and protect yourself. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this problem. If I hear of any other suggestions, I'll post them. Best wishes.

I'm sorry to say I cannot help you with your son, but wanted to thank you for writing about this condition. I didn't know it existed and with little you've mentioned about what your son does, it sounds exactly like my 2 year old! My mother, who thinks every child is an angel, has even admitted that my son is just fine with her, but as soon as Daddy or Mommy come into the room (or home) he becomes a holy terror!!! I'm going to start researching the condition and if I think or find anything that might help - I'll of course get back to you! I'm sorry you have it rough - but remember - you are definately not alone! Good luck and again, thank you!

thats the same problem i have with my daughter ive tryed diffrent ways to disipline her and she still just laughs else she listens too better i wish i had some advise on how to handle it with my daughter im trying a new technique take toys away for mis behaveing have you tryed that