Day 2 and 3 Yr Old Son Will Not Try New Food. Stressing Me Out!

Since this is essentially the same question you asked a few minutes ago, I'm just going to cut and paste my answer from the other thread.

Having a new baby in the family has probably been a big change for him so now may not be the best time to make such a drastic change to his diet. I would love it if my little one only ate healthy foods, but a smart lady once told me that what a child eats is one of the few things in his/her life that they can actually control. Pretty much everything else is decided for them and if you push to hard it will become a constant power struggle. Keep offering him healthy options, but for the time being I wouldn't take away the food he has been used to eating.

This may sound silly but you can try this one thing that helped me. Try to make a smiley face on a plate with bananna's and a little peanut Butter. Just a little piece for each eye, peanut butter smile and bananna nose. It may help. Also, try those Fruit-ables drinks that have fruit pieces in it or the veggie fruit drinks. Take Canned Mandarin Oranges and make a design on a paper plate or ask him to help you make a design. Maybe if you can get him to help you make a pizza on an English muffin you can add veggies in the spagetti/Pizza sauce. You can make a smiley face on those too. Sometimes as silly as it sounds, it may help. good luck.

Remember, a month ago you brought a new baby into your home and your son is competing for your attention now. Considering that you are likely not sleeping and he is feeling out of sorts with a new baby in the house you may want to wait a few more months to take this on. Since he is 3 he is likely also looking for ways to exert his own will and he is testing boundaries. All of those things make for a volatile combination, so you may want to wait to work on this for a few months.
If you are sure that now is the time to address this, then my first recommendation is that you calm down. Your son is able to sense your energy, and if you are hyper and worried, he will be too. His world is confusing right now, and he may not understand it all, but he can feel it. Take some deep breaths. You can not make a total change in a day or a week. This is going to be a LONG process, so relax. It's okay not to solve this problem today. If you don't feel ready, wait until you feel stronger. A sleep deprived exhausted mommy may not be the person to take this on. Second-You and your husband need to be on the same page about this. If you guys don't have a plan that you both agree too, your son is going to pick up on that too. Again, you will not be able to make this change over night, so both you and your husband have to be committed and invest the time in helping your son learn to change. Third- talk to your pediatrician. Is you son healthy? Does you pediatrician think it's okay if he misses a meal or two? Once you get the clearance from your pediatrician, then you have to start slowly. (Hopefully the approval from the doctor will help give you the peace of mind to stop stressing about him starving.) It has taken him at least 2 years to develop the eating habits that he has now, and you are not going to change it in two days. When he is really hungry, he will eat. You just have to relax and offer food that you want him to have. Don't argue or beg. Don't engage in a power struggle. Serve the food, and if he eats great. If he cries say something like "I can see that you are upset, and don't know what to make of this new food. I hope you will try it, I really like it, and so does daddy, but it's your choice." Then let him decide. If he doesn't eat, give him time at the table to try, and then excuse him without a fuss. Don't offer snacks in between meals.
My hope is that you will wait and let things settle into a routine with the new baby and give your son a chance to adjust to that change before taking on food too. Then in a few months when all has calmed try to tackle this again. Your son needs your love and reassurance that he is accepted and wanted with this new baby in the house. I worry that the stress and possible rejection for not eating is only going to make him more unsettled, and he will start acting out more and none of you want that.
Good Luck.

It took time to develop these habits and it's going to take time to change them.

My son is now 4 years old.
Since he started solids at 6 months old... he has always been a UBER picky eater and taste/texture sensitive.

Please also read this article on Food Neo-phobia in kids:
http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/Recipes/extremely-picky-e...

Anyway, as I said my son is UBER picky.
But now at his age, his palate has "NATURALLY" increased and he eats, tons more variety. On his own.
We do not have food battles.
We do not have eating battles.
We do not force feed.
We do not use food as a punishment or reward.
Our kids know, their body's cues, and the biological cues for hunger or fullness. I am proud of them.
My son does not eat for emotional reasons or boredom or as a manipulation....

Next, I do not understand, "WHY" a child, 'has to' eat new foods or different foods, on demand. They are not an instant streaming on demand video.

Even for an adult... I don't know why they 'have to' eat what someone else is making them eat.
What if your Husband made that kind rule with you at meal/eating times?
What if, you were in my State and I made you eat raw fish, raw eggs, raw sea cucumber, rice with no butter on it, BBQ Eel, Poi, etc. ?

I know some Adults, that will not even eat shrimp, nor eggs unless it is scrambled, nor any type of meat, unless it is beef.

Every person, throughout life... has a changing palate or not.
Some individuals like plain food, some like spicy.
Some like exotic foods, some like only potatoes and meat. Basic stuff.

But with any human, adult or child, they will HATE meal time and cry... if they are forced to eat and treated like meal time is 'punishment.'
And sure, if that were Me...I too would say that I wanted to take a nap, instead, too.
Your son... is smart.

I personally, do NOT like fish.
I am in my 40's. I have NEVER liked fish. Since a child. NOTHING my Mom could have done, even if she force me to eat it, could have changed... my taste buds. No money given to me, will make me eat fish... just to please someone else.
I do.not.like.fish.

Your kid, is a kid.
He is an individual.
He is human.

My son is 4.. and he now eats a lot of different things. ON His own.
I also understand him and his eating preferences and likes/dislikes and his emotions and reasoning for things.
I don't expect him, to eat JUST like me.
Nor like my Husband,
Nor like my daughter.
He is also a 'grazer'... just like his Dad/my Husband.
There is nothing wrong with that.

I just have never understood... why food and eating has to be a battle.
Battling it, is chosen.
I don't use it as a manipulation.
My son eats. No matter what I cook, there will be something there he will eat. He knows, that mealtime... is NICE and relaxing and fun and family time. NOT a stress time... to escape via a nap.

My son, eats, even if picky.
Some days he is not very hungry.
Some days he eats a TON.
And per growth-spurts.
But... my son KNOWS his body... and does not have food hang-ups or emotional problems because of eating.
He knows his body and hunger and fullness cues.
THAT is good.
We don't have junk in the house. So no matter what my kids eat, its okay.
I don't censor them or manipulate what they eat or how they eat.
They have healthy perceptions, about eating.

If Adults... were treated like that at mealtimes and for foods.. it would be considered very, not nice.

Forcing a kid about food and eating... is really a manipulation.
My son, has grown into, becoming a more adventurous eater. ON his own. Naturally.

all the best,
Susan

When my children were little, my doctor (bless him!) told me, "Choose carefully which battles to fight with your children. Pick the ones you can win. You can't win battles over food."

And yet most children seem to stay relatively healthy. At your son's age, it might indeed be better to say, "Well, this is what we have, so if you don't want any, you're out of luck. Maybe you'll like the breakfast menu better" (or whatever meal is next).

If you want to feel better about it, you can offer a SMALL snack later. But you pick what the snack will be - including something you know he likes - and don't make a big deal about it!. Keep being the boss of mealtime.

If he's doing this because he's truly a picky eater, just make sure he gets regular checkups. One of my granddaughters has been a "I don't want to try it" girl since day one. (Her sisters eat almost everything.) When she does try something new, it's cause for cheering. But she's always been very healthy and active.

On the other hand, if your boy is doing this as a power or attention-getting game, the less fuss you make, the better. Be a good actress and pretend it doesn't bother you! If he won't eat, he can wait for the rest of the family to finish or he may be excused, whichever way you do it at your house. There's no other food until snack time. Don't be angry about it - just be matter-of-fact.

When he discovers that he's not conning mama into anything and he's not getting a lot of attention, he'll look for something else to play. DO give him lots of attention outside of mealtime - he needs to be sure he is not competing with his baby sibling for your love.

Oh, and next time you go to the library, look for Russell and Lillian Hoban's BREAD AND JAM FOR FRANCES. I don't know if your son is old enough to enjoy it, but you'll love it.

It is a way for him to control his life. Think about it, we tell them what to do, what not to do all day long. When do they get a say so about their life?? When they turn 18! lol

You say you have a 1 month old baby, this could also be a way for your son to act out as he isn't getting 100% of your attention any more. By driving you crazy about him not eating, he is getting a rise and attention from you, he doesn't care if it's negative attention or that you are going bonkers from it.

It could also just be a phase and you'll just need to let it run it's course. Just keep offering 1 new thing a day along with foods you know he'll eat. Also offer him smaller servings of food too. Don't give him 10 crackers and only 1 grape to try. Give him a reward for trying new foods too. For one whole week (7 days) he tries at least 1 bite a day of a new food, he can go to say chuckie cheese or what ever else he would like to do. Yes it's a bribe but after a few weeks of this, it won't be such a big deal to him to try new foods. But DON"T cave if he doesn't try a food a day!! You have to let him know you mean business!!

Good luck and congrats on the new baby!
S.

My nephew is the same way, so I can relate. It drove us to distraction with worry, of course! He is 9 now and is STILL very uncomfortable with anything new; especially in the foods area. Hang in there, mom! The solution is simple...STOP STRESSING OUT! Isrmsn't that something? It does you harm, and exacerbates the situation (because the little creatures ALWAYS pick up on it no matter how slick we think we are). My little guy ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches (toasted, with the crusts cut off), fishy crackers, and....well...not much else to speak of. Guess what? He survived and thrived, and as he got older we applied reasoning skills to the issue. We added more variety as he grew old enough to engage in conversation about each new possible addition to his limited diet. I hope you don't make the mistake that I did: thinking it was a discipline issue, as though he were being "two-ish". It was NEVER about rebellion or defiance. Feed the kid what he is able to eat, and quit living the fear and uncertainty.
WARNING: This only applies if you feel (as objectively as possible) that it isn't a defy-the-mom issue. Talk to your inner circle and get their take on it. (Think proverbs...With the advise of many councillors, etc.) . Worrying is not productive. Cheer up!

GOD BLESS YOU!

Girl, why are you fighting a loosing battle? Enjoy the time you have with your little boy and new baby. Give him a good multi-vitamin let him eat what he wants (as long as its not candy or other junk) and enjoy your new baby!! Try again in a couple months once your baby starts sleeping through the night. You do not need to stress yourself anymore than you are already. 2 year olds are always resistant to new things, some more than others.

Talk to your dr, but I am sure he/she would say that it is perfectly fine that he eats this way. My son eats trix yogurt, bananas and muffins, and barely anything else. The dr. said he is growing fine, so just let him eat that way. He is 5 yrs. old and is almost 4 ft. already! Does your son have any sensory issues? Maybe he just doesn't like the texture of food!

You need to try new foods ten times before giving up and trying again in a few months. Relax, and don't make mealtime a battle.

I'm sure everyone else touched on this too but I add my two cents: be patient and persistent :)

I heard that it can take up to 20 times of introducing new foods for a kid to actually eat it. I know, sounds like torture (for you!) but just keep trying.

Keep putting the food out, even if he doesn't eat it. Let him get use to seeing it on his plate.

You should also eat the foods you want him to eat. Power of suggestion!

Take away the other things you don't want him to eat. Obviously, you don't have to cut them out all together but limit them to only when you want him to have them. Not when he wants them. You are in charge of the food he eats and it is up to you to make sure he has a variety and healthy options.

Soups are a good way to 'sneak' in other things. Veggies and meat get mixed in with everything else and the nutrients get into the broth too.

Have you checked out Deceptively Delicious? It is the cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife) that is about making healthy versions of kid favorite foods. It shouldn't replace eating the basics but helps with sneaking in nutritious items.

Try offering rewards. I know that there will be some debate because we don't want to bribe our children to eat healthy but you need to have a tool to help you get through this hard transition. As they eat a more balanced diet, you can cut back on the 'reward system'.

With all due respect, the items he will eat are not very healthy and it is important for you to enforce some tough love here. Don't buy those items (esp as you transition to a more balanced diet). It will suck for a while b/c he will cry, scream, yell and throw fits. He will not eat much but you can't let it be an option. Trust me, I am no health-food-nazi. I love sweets myself and but we try to be balanced with our kid and the food we serve. Of course, there are treats and there are days when the food isn't the healthiest but over all, we try to have a balanced approach to the types of foods we provide.

Bottom line: it is up to you, you are the mom and you owe it to your son to provide a variety of foods.

And all that being said, don't be too h*** o* yourself either. You are doing a great job and I know just how frustrating & upsetting it can be. Give your doc a call, my doc had nutritionists available to talk to for ideas too. I suffered from PPD also and it was incredibly hard. Hang in there and accept the help that is available to you: talk to friends & family, talk to your doc, and give yourself a break. You deserve it :)

Hang in there!

It is very frustrating. My daughter seemed to eat better when she was a toddler. Then she stopped eating stuff that she used to like. Or she'd eat something at Grandma's and not at home. I'd get really upset that she wouldn't even TRY something. It's just not worth the drama. I know lots of people who would only eat one or two foods when they were kids, and they grew out of it. I wouldn't make it into a power struggle, just let him eat what he likes. I read somewhere that kids have to be offered a food lots of times before they will try it...like a dozen times! Your son is only three, so maybe he'll be more adventurous in a year or two, especially when he goes to school and sees other kids trying new things. If he likes pancakes, you can add pureed fruit or veggies to the batter and he'll never know.

He will not let himself starve. put healthy food before him and he will eventually eat it. If he does not want to eat it, let him leave the table but save the plate so when he says he is hungry later, give him the same plate. Eventually he will try the food.

Kids need to be exposed to a new food like 20 times before some of them will try it. Put some fruit on his plate for every meal and don't say a word. Eventually, he'll be curious enough to try it. Don't make a power struggle out of it. That's the worst thing you can do. As long as he is healthy and eating enough then he'll be fine. He just knows what he likes and that's a good thing.

i would puree veggies and add them to his spaghetti sauce, add fruit and wheat germ to his smoothies, those kinds of things for now and still offer it on the plate too.....its tough but keep at it

My son only eats cereal without the milk. That's just how he is. He likes his bowl of dry cereal with a glass of milk!

Pancakes - try adding stuff into them. Sliced bananas (hard to see when cooked and cut up small); chocolate chips; try using apple butter in between his pancakes. Try giving him a small cup of strawberry syrup, or peach syrup to dip his pancakes in.

Cheese - try cheese in a can. Its fun and you can make designs.
Once he likes spray cheese, you can introduce cheesey celery, apples, ants on a log.

For fruits and veggies - Gerber has some dry fruit yogurt drops in the infant aisle - peach, strawberry, and another. The have fruit in them, but look like meragne. My daughter was addicted to them!

French or Ranch dressing. Did you know that french fries dipped in Ranch dressing tastes awesome!

Cheesy fries - try making cheese fries with lots of cheese and bacon.
Motzerella sticks

AS LONG AS YOU BATTLE WITH HIM, so will he! You introduced him to eating "Cinnamon toasts crunch cereal with no milk, toasts, pancakes, french fries, crackers, fish sticks" so expand on what he likes, or seriously, stop the battle that you wont win. Make nutritious food, and enjoy it with your hubby in front of him. dont offer him any. dont engage, or play the game.. maybe he will want to see what it is you like so much. You cant argue with a 3 year old, thats still a baby. Tell him the fish sticks are all gone, & make similar patties, with grated carrot etc inside, bread them & fry them. bake the fries, or as someone said in the last thread youstarted, offer sweet potato fries. make tempura, crisy, delicious, healthier than fries. add pureed fruit to the pancakes. offer wheat thins or similar healthy crackers if any. gice him 100 % juice, if all hes eating is this simple carb loaded diet, he can use the vitamin c in juices. Remember, kids learn to battle this stuff from their parents. Dont engage the behavior & it will pass in time.

You have to give the advice you have been given time. It can't have been that long since you posted the other question and got really good advice. You have to take this slowly. Kids thrive on routine and what they know as their version of normal. If you haven't been offering what you are now offering it is throwing him completely off. The same way a child might freak if parents put a smiley face on the pancakes because pancakes don't have a smiley face!

I like the book Sneaky Chef. It will give you ideas and options for adding veggies and fruits to food/drinks that he likes while you continue to offer healthy new choices along with familiar foods. My kids get a veggie on their plate every lunch and dinner. Do they always eat it? No but it's there every single time.

Like everyone else has told you-you are creating a battle that you will lose. You can't force him to eat and you will eventually give in and give him whatever he wants because you know he needs to eat. Make eating a fun and positive experience. Praise him for good food choices.

And you have a newborn in the house. THat is a huge adjustment to his world. Give all of this some time.

If my child liked fish sticks I'd make them myself and use whole wheat bread and wheat germ to make the breading then cook them in the oven. Same with pankcakes-make them with white whole wheat flour (still a whole wheat just made with a lighter variety so it's not so heavy on the palate if you aren't used to whole wheat) and add flax or wheat germ. Sneaky Chef has a recipe for mac and cheese where you add a puree of sweet potato and carrots. Can't even tell it's in there! I just made whole wheat pancakes this am using 1/2 regular whole wheat flour and 1/2 white whole wheat. They were fantastic!

Cinnamon toast crunch would be out in my house. It offers lots of sugar and very little to no nutritional value. Your son has a taste for the sweets and fats. It's hard to work backwards and get him to enjoy the less sweet and no fat fruits and veggies. My kids got very of that type of foods at that age because it is so hard to go backwards. This will take time.

Consistancy and Rules. At our house, you eat as many bites as you are old of the dreaded healthy foods or new food. This has been going on since my daughter was 2 or 3. I also hid butternut squash, spinach and cauliflower in other food items such as mac and cheese, and potatoes (Jessica Seinfeld's book). There were only a few times when she wouldn't eat so dinner was done and she knew if she got hungry later in the evening there wouldn't be a new choice, her plate would be reheated and served. Some kids definitely fit Dr Oz's description of how being picky was so important when our ancestors were nomadic and roamed. A child can be poisoned so much more easily than an adult so being picky served them well and kept them and our species alive. Now I think it just serves to frustrate parents ;-). Also, this will be hard and frustrating, especially in the beginning. You have to dissociate a bit from the here and now struggle and see how important it is in the big picture. As Jen C. says, He won't starve and it WILL get easier. My daughter is for the most part still picky but will try new things and knows the rules. She also likes a wider and wider range of vegetables. Her favorite right now are frozen mixed vegetables and she even likes the lima beans in there. Who knew THAT could happen! One last thought. Make sure all the adults in the household are aware of the rules and support and help you. You have a lot going on with a 1 month old AND a picky toddler. Last, Good for you for not just giving up and still working on this issue! You'll get there, and you'll find what works for your family!

I can hear the tension in your posts. First and foremost, You are NOT starving your son. You are offering him a plate full of food. He is CHOOSING not to eat it. He is trying to fight back by refusing it. HE WILL NOT STARVE. I promise! Age 3 is a very controlling age. You have to "out stubborn" him.

I was an incredibly picky eater as a child. I made everyone miserable. I had daily fights with my parents and I knew if I stuck it out long enough, they would give in. FYI, once I moved out and began cooking my own food, I started to try the foods I'd always battled over. I now eat a wide variety of foods.

When I had my own family, I feared my daughters would turn out like me. My husband and I developed the "3 Bite Rule". Simply, you have to eat 3 bites of everything on your plate. Once you have tried the 3 bites, you didn't have to eat any more of it. No arguements, no debates. What I saw happen was they began to develop a taste for things they had previously refused. They are now 10 and 13 and will try anything once.

Best of luck to you.