Daughter with a Sweet Tooth

I usually talk to my kids ahead of time and tell them two peices unless they are big then just one. Then I will put it up to where I give it out when I think it's time for some. I dont' think at 4 1/2 she would be able to stop herself at 2. My kids still can't without being forced to.

My boys are both the same way. They started having it every day like it was a regular part of their meal and I had to put a stop to it. I keep it up high where they can't get it and they only get it on weekends now. Luckily we don't have any cavities yet. I say let her cry and eventually she will get to know what the norm is. Maybe put some rules around when she CAN have it so she has something to look forward to. Like a reward chart and if she gets so many stars she gets a piece. Or like we did and limit to only weekends.

It sounds like you're actually doing a pretty good job at making it the forbidden fruit. Which was the opposite of what you were going for, right?

No worries.

What you really want to teach here is critical thinking by using real life. Kids generally aren't very good critical thinkers unless coached by us parents.

I would suggest that you teach her how to make her OWN boundaries. Let her have the candy she brings home. It's really not a big deal, because once it's gone....it's gone. She's NOT getting "all the candy she wants" if the supply runs out, now is she? And if she complains once it's gone...use Love and Logic. Empathy. "Oh, I'll bet you wish you'd saved some for tomorrow. You must feel disappointed that you didn't put some aside."

Tell her "Well, DD, how many pieces of candy do you have? Oh...you have 20? Well, if you eat 5 pieces every day, you can make it last for 4 days. How many days do you want it to last? If you eat it all now, you won't have any tomorrow."

Then let her decide. And respect her choice. It's hers to make...and she'll learn that if she wants to have some candy tomorrow, she'll save it and ration it more carefully.

As for her teeth, the rule needs to be "Always brush your teeth after eating candy."

I would let her know that the options are a)she can have candy in moderation or b)she can have no candy at all. If she whines for more today, tomorrow when she asks for a treat let her know she is not getting a treat because of yesterdays behaviour.

one of my kids has always had a sweet tooth. i also don't forbid anything, if i have it, we can discuss it, and it's always been like that. whenever she asks for something sweet i tell her 1 piece (a day). if she asks for more i tell her it's not good for her health and as her mom i have t watch out for her well-being. i know, it sounds like an adult thing to say but i have always said this to her and she has always understood. funny thing is she does not have a single cavity while her twin sister who almost never asks for sweets, has had a few.

My guy just turned 4, he finished the last of his Halloween candy a couple of weeks ago, the suckers. His Easter basket only had a few candies, the rest was crayons, bubbles, stickers, etc., the same with his Christmas stocking. He has no cavities, the dentist said his mouth is as near perfect as it can be, I know that won't always be the case but want to aim for it. He doesn't get candy every day, even if he eats all his healthy foods. I limit it. When he brings it home I go through it, put it out of his sight and reach. If he sobbed for not getting some I'd send him to his room, discipline the tantrum. If he threatened me I'd probably ditch whatever candy we had to show him he doesn't threaten me.

I'd just limit the candy she gets, one piece every few days. Toss or give away most of it, I put some in a bowl on a counter he can't see or reach and others eat it. Remember, candy is a treat, not a major food group. You're the mom, you call the shots. Introduce her to healthier treat options, other than straight sugar. My guy loves sweet potato fries and mashed sweet potatoes.

Yes, kids like candy, but it doesn't mean they can have it whenever they want. We have to be the voice of reason, don't try to explain it to her, she doesn't or want to understand. But just because she asks for more doesn't mean you have to give her more, use your control while you can because when she's older you won't always know, she'll eat it away from home. If you can curb her taste for it now she may not go crazy over it later.

I agree with Christy Lee on this one.

I have 8 kids, 2 of whom have sweet tooth's like no one I have ever known. They are also my skinniest children (go figure).

Candy isn't really something I keep in the house, but when there is a special occasion, a holiday, whatever that brings candy into the house. I let them have at it. It isn't an everyday thing, and the other 90% of their food intake is healthy, so instead of fighting this battle I let them eat and then it's gone and we go back to our normal lives-candy free.

At 20 (one of the two kids) still LOVES his candy, he even has a huge bowl of it in his house all of the time, but he has through trial and error learned how to moderate his intake. My 3 year old, the other chocoholic, will ask when we are in a store for bananas and chocolate, every time without fail. So we buy tons of banana's and one candy bar. Those banana's are going to out weight anything that candy bar is gonna do.

As for her teeth, some of that just may be genetic. It isn't always about the candy and soda.

What you are doing is creating a mental 'need' for this candy, by actually be so restrictive.

Some things need to be creatively forbidden. You might have to face the possibility that your daughter just is not ready for the responsibility of moderation with candy. It's okay; just don't put that on her shoulders right now. If you let her have it at all, give her a little piece in your presence and no more. Don't let her take possession of any goodie bag. Dole out the candy as a reward or treat. Or just tell her no, that you tried it and you're sorry but it didn't work. Let her help you prepare some sweet, less unhealthy treats--fruits and homemade sauces, even homemade candy with natural ingredients. In fact, that might be the best way to go: Ask her to help you make candy. Sometimes a spoonful of honey is all I need in the moment. Be creative.

Keep the candy where she can't get to it - and let her know that she can have a little bit or none at all, and if she flips out about wanting more, she forfeits her chance to have some the next day. My daughter loves to play on the computer, but if I tell her it's time to be done and she gives me a hard time about it, she misses out on being able to play on it the rest of the day or the next day.

You could also enlist the help of the dentist here - if she's had all these cavities, maybe a talking-to from the dentist will help drive the point home. It doesn't work with every kid, but my daughter, as well as my older stepson, are/were the types that took any kind of authority figure very seriously. If it is/was me telling them something it was like I was just nagging, but a doctor or dentist telling them the same thing was like the word of God.

I would also be tempted to scare her a bit - show her some pics on the internet of really badly decayed teeth and tell her this is what happens when she eats too much sugary stuff. She also needs to be better about brushing if that is a battle too.

Something could be driving her sweet tooth and it needn't be candy.. candy is just what she desires.. I know you said she eats healthily but could be her body is more sensitive to certain things such as white flour (which can totally raise your insulin) and then... once your sugar crashes, you just CRAVE sugar like crazy.. Also, too much fruit/juice in diet will do the same thing..

.I was like your daughter when I was a kid, whereas my brother was not... I'd eat all my Halloween candy in days whereby, he'd save his... and in my biological mother's home, we seldom got candy or junk.. but when I did.. I LOVED it..
I like the idea of teaching moderation but if a child is craving candy (although they can't voice it as a craving) then you may have a difficult time stopping her and too, she can't stop herself... Therefore, you may to approach this from the standpoint of not giving her high glycemic foods... these foods can include things like an overly ripe banana, white flour as noted and a myriad of other things.. so while moderation may not be in the lesson for now.. at least you can help her little body from having the cravings to begin with..

good luck

Heck, I am your daughter! Cannot just stop at second piece. So I am no use to you lol. Sorry.

It doesn't sound like your daughter gets the moderation thing quite yet. The thing with sugar is that the more you have, the more you crave it. It's been documented that when one stops eating sugar, the body stops craving it completely.

I have to say, my mom was a health nut when I was a kid. No white sugar or sweets in the house. I didn't desire it any more, because I just didn't have it and my body didn't get a taste of it. I've grown into an adult who couldn't care less about sweets of any type. My husband, however, lived in a house where sweets were readily available. To this day, he has a sweet tooth and buys sweets regularly for himself.

I don't know what the answer is in your case, but it sounds like once she gets a taste, she can't stop herself. And I would have thrown the whole lot out, too, after a candy tantrum.

You're doing fine. Stick to it. If she pitches a fit, pitch it out. If you know she's likely to have brought home goodies (just come home from a party), check her room and if she has actually hidden it away, pitch it and next time stop her at the door, check her pockets and pitch it right away. Tell her why. It's not because you don't want her to have candy but because she's being sneaky and dishonest and a right brat about it, so she's not allowed to have it. Ok, so don't call her a brat, but yeah, make sure she knows it's about her behavior and not the candy.

I ration candy too. I can't imagine not having it in my house ever, I loves me some chocolate too. Two or three pieces depending on the size for my girl. She still tries now and then to get more out of me and she 6.

Stick to it!

My kids have candy every day. My oldest has a super sweet tooth. She'd eat the whole bag of candy if I didn't teach her control. So they have a piece or two a day. Then when they go to a bday party, they only have a few pieces and save the rest.

I'd really try letting her have an after lunch treat everyday and see if that doesn't help lesson the desirability of candy. You think you aren't making it a forbidden fruit, but does she really have access to candy ALL THE TIME? If not, then it is a forbidden fruit.

I take the bag of candy after DD has a token piece or two. Then I put it up and if she whines and cries about appropriate distribution, I have thrown it in the trash after a warning. I have discussed with DD that sugar hurts her teeth and too much candy can make her sick (she's seen that on TV, too) and that it's a sometimes food for AFTER her growing food.

Sounds like you are doing a better job than most. My son (age 6) has great will power (and a sweet tooth). If he gets candy at school he will wait to open it and let me know he received a treat. My daughter will get into anything (she is only 3).

Could you avoid the hard and sticky candy and use chocolate instead? The gummy and hard candies seem to stick to teeth and could cause a cavity more than peanut M&M's (for example).

Both my kids eat way too many sweets and I have to always find ways to get them to eat veggies. Fruits are easy, but veggies are a challenge. I always throw out the sticky and chewy candy from parties or gifts.

edit: I can totally see my son passing the marshmallow test. If you do not know about this, you should google it. It is interesting.

My oldest is similar. Don't worry. It'll get better. It's times like this that you have to be like a rock and just let her be upset. We let our kids have a very small treat every night if they eat their vegetables. Sometimes I regret it but same time, they know now it's one small treat a day and my sweet tooth daughter is totally fine with it. She'll actually police herself. (She's 8 now.) It has to become a mantra with some kids about health etc but they do learn. She's still just young... I can see it in some of my kids' friends. Some are so into junk food and their siblings aren't. So seems to be the way they're born but don't give up or panic. I would set some limit, explain why every time it comes up but just once to save your sanity, and then let her cry. And search her room if you need to. It may be a bit more of a battle forever with her vs some other kids but I bet it will get better. I also point out very overweight people sometimes and how unhealthy it is but say it's what happens if you don't watch your sweets. I guess it's politically incorrect but it seems to have been effective. I say how their hearts have to work harder, they likely will get sick etc. Both of my kids still want their treats but also self moderate now.

It sounds like she has very health eating habbits, and that is great! Dont worry about the occasional candy splurge because you know that 99% of the time she is not eating any candy at all. I will usually let my 4 year old go at it for the first day, then I put it up and start rationing. When he asks for some, I will let him pick out a few pieces and then put the bowl right back up. If he begs for more, I will usually tell him, OK, one more piece, but then no more for today. He is usually happy with that because he got his one more piece, and I am happy because he intake is still limited. Regarding the teeth - cavities at this age are more likely to be genetic OR a problem with kids having a milk or juice sippy available all night long. Talk to your dentist about sealants - if she has not had any already the dentist may agree to do it early based on her history.