hi M.
I went through this 16 months ago with my daughter. (Wow it goes by fast)
At this age.. you can get your finger in there to message. try the orajel it numbs everything but the tooth and can get in the throat too easily causing a choking hazard. Don't use orajel or any other numbing product, I did the same thing, and then tried it and that day someone told me a horror story from using it.
Wash hands real good, then I put my thumb in her mouth and started stepping up on stair case bottom step to get her to bite down.. I then went up and down.. danced around the living room, sorta exercising with her pressed on my thumb. It was the only thing that soothed her.. Jack johnson helped too.:/
I also started letting her suck on a strawberry or cold carrot, at a very early age. oh and i took a rag put in ice.. twisted it up and let her naw on that ..best thing is one of those nets from babys r us.. that you can put a piece of ice in..
Its a tough time but will get better in the fact that you can start using these methods.
I couldn't see her suffer so i also used tylenol.
good luck with it all. And enjoy every moment..goes by too fast..