Child Being Bullied in High School

We set up an immediate meeting with the principal and arrived with a formal letter addressing the issue and problem students(with a copy for each of her teachers) We stated in the letter if this continues to be a problem we will be involving the police department. By the following week the trouble maker (ring leader) was romoved from all classes and the other girls involved became nicer. From that day on school was much better.
****So heartbreakig to deal with...but this worked for us. Best Wishes****

Yes. First, find out what the district policy is in Bullying and Harrasment. Write to the principal and copy the superintendent and ask for a written copy of it. This will put them on notice that you are going to move through the process to get something done, and you will probably get a call from the principal to find out what the issue is, if they do not already know.

Speak to him, but make sure that you still get a copy of the policy in writing. When you get off the phone, send the principal an email confirming your conversation that documents everything you said, everything he said and any agreement that you come to (if he offers to have someone investigate, says he will get back to you on a certian day, etc.) At the end of the email, say "unless you correct me in writing, I will assume that all the details I have written here about our converstation are accurate. This will send a second message that you are not going to let this rest and that you understand the importance of a paper trail. Again, copy the superintendent.

If there is no documentation of the incidents in question, send a letter confirming the details of what happend to your child. Again, copy the superintendent. You want all the administrative parties to be on notice that there is a problem, which triggers thier affirmative obligation to correct the situation and creates liablity for each of them, based on thier knowledge.

If it did not happen in writing, it did not happen.

Know this though, confidentiality applies to the other children as well as your own, so you may not be entitled to know the details of what they do to the bullies.

If there is any electronic device involved, you can involve the police and press charges yourself. Capture the offender (use the phone company to trace blocked calls and make a police report, then press charges against them.)

It is all about what the administrators know that you can prove that they know.

M.

My oldest son dealt with it for 2 years! Its so hard to get them stop.

Two years ago I was threatened with truency because I could not get him to go. Every morning he would get physically sick and throw up before having to go, the school would send the cop out to pick him up, the principal even came out once to get him. He was in the 5th grade. Our school is very small, the grade size ( not just the class, but intire grade) is between 20-30 kids each. I even called the parents of the kids doing it still nothing got done, it actually got worse. I was calling pretty much every day for them to do something and every day my son would some home upset and at times would have marks on him. Changing schools isnt an option around here.

I had to write letters (keep copy of each letter) to the principal, the teachers, counselour and to the school board and nothing got done.I went to almost every school board meeting and would bring it up. Still nothing was done so I got a lawyer involved and he wrote the school a letter telling them that I was going to sue the school for not following the school's anti bullying policy and attached all of my letters that I had written over the past year. They finally did something and my son enjoys going to school now.

good luck and stand your ground for your child!

We were dealing with this last year in middle school. The school was no help. The police were no help. My daughter and i took it in our own hands. The girl texted her to meet at a park to fight. My daughter was an hour away at my sisters. I drove to the park and confronted a large group of kids. I told them that my daughter has my permission to kick their a$$ when she gets home. We were sick of it. They had been tourturing her. She went to school and told them to set it up. They never did and backed off.

I am not saying that this was right or would work in every case. In our case, fortunately, they were full of hot air.

In the end i wrote to the girl. I told her that if she really looked she could see that her and my daughter were the same. Both have a very sick parent and too much stress for a middle schooler. There is no need to take it out on others.

I wish you luck, it is horrible to watch your kids go through this.

Document every single thing.
Most schools have pretty strict anti-bullying policies, but whether or not they are enforced can be another matter. Kids are killing themselves over being bullied these days, so it should be taken seriously.
Get your son's handbook and look up the policy regarding bullying and harrassing. There should also be a section that tells you how to file complaints.
Is your kid being called fat, stupid, ugly, gay? What is the type of harrassment that's happening? Be specific.

My son just started his sophomore year in high school.
He hasn't done it to anybody, but apparently there is a tradition of flipping pennies at Freshmen. My son and his friends all had pennies flipped at them last year so it wasn't like anyone was being singled out. Nobody got hurt or lost an eye. I guess the thing is to see if the freshmen will pick up the pennies, but everybody knows not to do that, because that's the joke. I told my son I bet the janitor appreciates the "tips" the first week of school.
Even though it's not nice and the teachers certainly don't condone it, I don't see that instance as a matter of bullying.
If it's ever to the point where your child is afraid to go to school or afraid to walk home or ride the bus, something has to be done.

Gather your facts. Document incidents. Go to your county office of education if you can't get anywhere with the school or your local school district.
Many schools now have conflict resolution and another program...can't remember the name of it but there's a show about it on MTV. My son's school does that. It's about kids understanding each other as individuals and how much people can be hurt without knowing you're even doing it. It's pretty powerful. I'll ask my son when he gets home.

You are your child's best advocate. High school is such a hard time as it is.
I hope you get some great responses and I hope you get some help through the school.

I hate to say it, but highschool is still fresh in my mind. Mean kids are relentless. If my daughter gets bullied in highschool i will take her out, put her in another highschool, homeschool or get a tutor. Ive seen the nightmare for myself. The kids that fight back get it just as bad.

One of my high school friends has an amazing daughter named Ariel. She is in a group of young people here in Oklahoma (Upward Bound) that are organizing an anti-bullying movement. Here is what came up when I googled their anti=bullying group, I find their leadership in this area to be something wonderful, a true show of what our youth of today are capable of.

Stand for the Silent

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8...

Hi - I don't have any children in high school yet so haven't experienced the problem. I would start by addressing it with a teacher and just keep moving up the chain of command if you feel that the problem is not being addressed; even go beyond the school to the district office if you have to. I would document the bullying, who you talked to, what the response was, etc. too. No child should feel scared or unsafe at school. Unfortunately this problem seems to be getting more & more common. Good Luck to you and your child.

Yes and Yes.

In Middle school my daughter was bullied by a big girl. My daughter is pretty, cheerleader, etc and I guess she was a good target. It stopped when the girl tried to start a fight with my daughter.

Little did they know, my daughter is a black belt. She blocked every hit, the girl was frustrated and no one has bothered her like that again.

We have also been targets of cyberbully. Document everything. I have open police reports right now just waiting to nail some little biotch (its a jealous girl) to the wall. It started when daughter was named captain of cheer. At that point, the police liason told her....you are the target now. He has routinely been hanging around when she is changing classes, etc. He knows she is a black belt and will stand up for herself. The cyber stuff is anon and on Formspring.

Good luck.

I also agree with documenting everything but........I would hate for you to wait any longer if this has been going on for a while. If you have talked to teachers and they have done nothing, go directly to the Principal. If you have already spoken to the Principal go to the Superintendent. There are too many teens in the news committing suicide over bullying. Most schools now have very strict policies in place about bullying. Although the lists are a valuable tool, do not wait until you have a laundry list of items before you do something. This is not a waiting game. If your child is truly upset by this bullying, you need to start pushing school administrators right away. We have teens right here in Illinois that have committed suicide over bullying, (it's on the news and in the papers) please don't wait.

My daughter had several issues of bullying in HS and she never told me until recently. She is a sophomore in college now. She told me that she had a teacher that was the on site police officer's wife and she went to her and the police officer got it straightened up. I guess if the school will not address the issue then you could try this.

Hi,

I agree with the mom that documented everything....................................and then if they still don't listen bring in a lawyer....just the site of one...makes school districts cringe! But try this first:

You will really have to spell it out for the school. Also, your child needs to stand up to the bulley and tell them that what ever they are doing is "not ok and to leave them alone." When they have done that document that too because then you can say to the school that they did it and when.

The second thing I would do is call every teacher and see if one of them follows through (make sure you have specifics of what the bulleying behaviour is). Then go to the assistant principal (if you have one are usually the individuals responsable for discipline) with how you went to every teacher, when and what you discussed (also documented) and even though such and such teacher followed through or none did, you can say you went through the teachers and that the bulleys are still continuing. Then go to the principal if he doesn't address it then go to the district office.

There is a protocal for these things check your handbook too because it will tell you the protocals and the school policy on bulleying (if you have to bring in the lawyer that is your document to use with your doucmentation). The school also may have a school counselor, psychologist, social worker (ask to see if they have these and if you may talk to them). Schools tend to ignore parents that go straight to the top if there was no other problem solving because how are we to expect of our kids what we don't expect of ourselves. PS Bulleys are usually kids not taught the proper social skills...and have other issues (just keep that in mind-your child could ask them are you ok is something bothering you and that is why you are taking it out on me?-if they are old enough).

L.T.
Middle School Teacher

If the school does not respond, then go to the district office. If they do not respond then go to the police. Everyone has a boss to answer too. The school principal will not want the district involved because he/she did not address the problem. Make sure you have documentation of the times you called, spoke to or corresponded with school personel with no satisfaction. Many times the schools don't want to get involved because it is difficult to figure out who is doing the bullying. Make sure you have evidence of the bullying such as the emails or facebooks postings etc. The more paper work you have to back your child up the better the responce will be. Children and their parents have to learn that bullying will not be accepted or tolerated by anyone. I hope this helps