Breastfeeding & Growing Pains

I just want to say that everyone is differet, and every pregnagncy is different. With my first, I didn't start ovulating again until my child was about 18 months. With my second, he was about 9 months. My friend got pregnant again without a full cycle when her son was only 5 months old, and another friend didn't get her cycle back until she had entirely weaned.

I saw there were a lot of comments about waiting..and some of them not so nice or very helpful. I will try to be helpful in letting you know what it was like with 2 under 2. My first daughter was just a year old when I got pregnant (planned) with my second. They are 21 months apart in age and it was exponentially harder having two babies. My oldest napped from 10-12 and 2-4 and the older from 12-2 so I couldn't go anywhere. Their naps were like that for the first year. They couldn't bathe together for a year, so bath time took at least an hour. Then when they could, my oldest had to be watched like a hawk because she didn't understand that knocking down her baby sister or sitting on her was a bad thing. Twice as many diapers in the diaper bag, and 2 changes of clothes, bibs, cups, etc... when out and about. I had trouble nursing my second because my first interrupted every time even tho she had snacks, drink and her own special time. I was run so ragged that my milk dried up and my little one only got 5 months of BF before she had failure to thrive. Whereas I had enough extra milk with my first that I had a 2 month supply (frozen) when she weaned herself. My oldest has always been high maintenance and my little one is still mellow, thankfully. As soon as the little one started crawling, the older one was no longer enthralled with her...her toys were under attack! We have been vigilant about sharing and the girls being empathetic, but it didn't keep our oldest from pushing the baby down every time we weren't looking onto the hard tile floor. The first two years you will be constantly protecting the younger from the older child...it isn't their fault, they just aren't mature enough to be around newborns. Now that they are older (3.5 & 5) the fighting over the smallest things is terrible. She's looking out my window in the car, she's looking at me, she has my toy, crayon, blanket, bowl, cup... All of that said, seeing my girls play together and enjoy each others company is absolutely wonderful. It really depends on what you, your husband and baby are willing to go through and how well you can handle the stress of 2 under 2. If you're worried about whether you are ovulating during BF, an ovulation kit that was mentioned in another response is what has been recommended by fertility specialists as a first step. The best of luck in whatever your family decides.

You can still get pregnant when nursing, I did. And I have heard of women who still get pregnant even without their periods resurfacing.

Ask your OB/GYN.

I let my kids self-wean. That is me.

Your son is 1 years old... so, he can have whole milk. Organic preferably. But, if your son 'rejects' whole milk (which some do), then you either still nurse him, or try and transition to whole milk using breast mixed with a little whole milk and gradually over time, increase the proportions until he takes it.
Or, some use Formula to transition off of breast.
THEN, you will have to see IF he takes to a bottle or sippy cup for his milk. Some will not.

In lieu of dairy milk (which is recommended because the milk "fats" are an essential nutrient for brain development), then some use goat's milk or almond milk... which are on par with whole milk. Soy milk has 'estrogen' in it... which negatively affects a child's development and hormones.

The thing is, no matter what, even if you 'wean' your son... he may or may not wean... then, what is he going to drink from??? A bottle? A sippy cup? A straw cup? Some babies will not drink from these things... or it takes time to transition them to it. So your son will be dealing with a lot of 'changes' ... ie: weaning from breast, transitioning to milk, transitioning to another type of drinking method, and the change in his 'usual' daily routine for nursing before naps or bedtime. SO.... there will be LOTS for him to deal with too. And it may or may not go smoothly.

REALLY decide, if getting pregnant now, before he weans is what you want. Or, you let him self-wean, and then try to get pregnant. Meanwhile, you will have to see what the status of your ovulation or periods is....

Try and consult with your OB/GYN... or a Lactation Consultant.

All the best,
Susan

Is there a good reason why you cannot wait to have another child? I guess I don't understand. Why not treasure the one you have, and "finish" what you want to do and keep nursing him, then try for more after? If you are enjoying nursing, and can nurse, why would you ever want to break that great bond with your first and cheat him? And, cheat yourself? The eldest child gets cheated enough when the new cute infant arrives, and they get less attention, and then later become responsible for helping with their sibling - why take this away too?

Is there a medical reason why you cannot wait, and enjoy this child, and secure your bond before you try for a 2nd one? Live a little more 'in the moment' and enjoy the precious one you have. Don't cut short on what you can do for, and have with your first child. Be grateful that you have this time - You can never go back.

K.

You absolutely do not have to have your periods return in order to get pregnant. Many, many women are ovulating while nursing and still don't have their periods, and can and do get pg. Check with your ob/gyn and she/he can guide you. I agree with another poster that perhaps you might want to give this baby a little more time....treasure your time with this baby, because once you're pg again, everything changes. The way you feel, consequently the way you react to baby, your energy level, etc. Good luck!

Le Leche League has MANY books you can get from the library... about nursing toddlers. Includes info about nutrition, nursing while pg, tandum nursing... the MANY benefits of extended nursing. Keep up the GREAT work!
Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning
Mothering Your Nursing TOddler
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding
You can drop one feeding, the one you think would be easiest so you're down to 3 a day, that should help with your period, but remember you can ovulate w/o a period. I have a friend that is nursing 4x a day, no period, and just got pg 2m ago, her son is 10m.
Milk: soy, coconut- good sources of healthy fats and vit. w/o the hormones of cow milk
However, as long as you're nursing at least 2x a day, they only need you and water, no juice or milk. Be sure they're getting enough calcium from foods as well: broccoli, cheese...

You can get pregnant while nursing and you may even be ovulating. Get an ovulation predictor test and maybe go from there?

I got pregnant with #3 while BFing #2 and I had milk until I was about 3 months pregnant with #3, so my body basically weaned him.

We've never given any of our 3 kids any dairy, except the occassional cheese with mexican food. No milk. We use rice milk for cereal, etc...and no ear infections in any of them!

Good luck!

Hi S.!!! My little guy is almost 15 months and I just got my first period a month ago and I am still nursing. I'm a believer in self weaning and I've seen his need for nursing starting to diminish without any forcing on my part. I think babies are on their own natural timeline and do things when they're ready. Their little bodies know when its time. I see it, my DS has been cutting back little by little. They say that self weaning happens naturally around 2, some sooner, some a little later.
As for nutrition. I don't give him any dairy. If your concerned about calcium, broccoli had tons!! Our pediatrician has a great website if you need more reference. Its www.drjaygordon.com. Let me know if you have any questions or if I can help in any way.
R.

Hi S.. Just wanted to second (or third) what's already been said. I was breastfeeding my 2 year old a good 6-8 times a day and got pregnant, so I definitely don't think you need to cut back unless you want to for other reasons. A close friend also got pregnant while bf-ing her 9 month old son, and she never got her period. Also, I had a hard time getting pregnant the first time, and this time we weren't even trying. I think sometimes the body just needs a little time between babies :) Btw, I kept nursing my son after I knew I was pregnant, but just cut back very slowly until we were down to once a day for a few months....he's almost 2.5, and we just stopped a week ago and it was such a slow and gentle transition, I think it felt very natural to both of us. I wish you and your family the best!

My period started while I was nursing with both of my kids - my son was 12 months before it started. I would give yourself more time to see if it will start before you wean. Also, I don't know if you are night nursing, but I believe stopping night nursing will help bring fertility back, because you get a long stretch of hours with no nursing. If you cut back nursing, he will probably need additional milk, or cheese or yogurt. If you don't want to give him cow's milk (it is fine after a year) you could start him with goat's milk. It is easier to digest and more like our milk.

S.,

I have a girlfriend who was breastfeeding her son and got pregnant with her daughter. She breastfed her son thru most of her pregnancy as well however after her daughter was born her son couldn't understand why she got to be breastfed and he didn't. Hoaving said this. as long as you are healthy, I'm sure that you can do both. Not getting your period doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant. The fun is in trying, so go have fun!! Also wanted to mention that her kids get along very well. On the topic of giving milk: I only produced milk for 4 months with my son and after he got formula. At his one year birthday I started him on Vitamin D milk since he was eating lots of solid foods. I am sure that you could start your son on some milk if you want to try to cut down on breast feeding.

Hi S.!

I'm so glad you're enjoying breastfeeding. I certainly enjoyed it as well.

Just so you know, the fact that you haven't had a period doesn't mean that you can't get pregnant right now. I breastfed my daughter exclusively and when she was nine months old, I got pregnant again.

You say you're only nursing four times per day? My daughter was nursing a LOT more than that! She didn't eat food until AFTER she was one year old so she was nursing a LOT...eeek! It didn't impede my becoming pregnant and breastfeeding your son shouldn't impede you either.

She nursed during my entire pregnancy and beyond. We tandem nursed afterward and to this day, both children are very, very close both to each other as well as to mama and daddy.

Enjoy your son!

Best wishes,

M.

If your son slows down at all you may end up with your ~monthly~ visitor again. It may come back even if he doesn't slow down the nursing. Every woman is different, and you may need to completely stop nursing, but you may not have to in order to ovulate again.

Here's what I suggest: hold some newborns, find out how your son reacts to it... it's likely that he will not like Mommy holding a baby besides him and you may not want to put that burden on him just yet. You might come to realize you aren't ready for the work it takes to have two so close in age, either! If you find that you do want a second one, maybe holding a new baby will help you body realize that it needs to get pregnant again.

I suggest these things because that's what came to happen for me. My sister-in-law was very pregnant about the time my daughter was a year old... I started getting those mommy feelings again, and finding myself desperate to hold a newborn again. I got my first post-partum period 3 days before her first birthday, and she was still nursing 3-6 times a day. I don't think much of anything had changed except my desire to hold a baby again. Three cycles later I found myself pregnant without even trying (we actually planned on trying the cycle following our positive test!). Honestly, it was a little early for me, but everything turned out fine and both my girls are healthy. I nursed my daughter through my pregnancy and am still nursing her once a day at 2 years old. She loves it!

Take your time because you will probably feel that you are either cheating yourself or that you are cheating your son out of that precious time as a nursing pair. Obviously you don't have to stop nursing when pregnant, but I would've loved to have our relationship uninterrupted a little longer... I actually felt a little resentment toward my new daughter because of it. I'm over it now... I love her to bits! But it's very hard to realize that, and very depressing to know that you feel that way toward your own child.

In order to get pregnant, I'm pretty sure you have to give up breastfeeding, or at least just down to once a day. You have to have your period back to get pregnant. Some people below have said they got pregnant while breastfeeding and no period yet, so give it a try now! Otherwise, if you don't get pregnant, try to get down to once a day to see if your period comes back.

It is my understanding, through the Dr. Sears website & book, that you can continue nursing your baby. Now, if you are still not having your normal period sometimes that is the reason, just so you can keep better predict your fertile days. Have you tried La Leche League?
Good luck with working out breastfeeding & still getting pregnant.

Hi S.,

Just another story about bf'ing and child spacing. I am a mother of four and I nursed all of my babies. Each one was nursed a different length of time. My two oldest babies were 19 months a part. I was pregnant again by my oldests first birthday. Then we have 10.5 years between #2 and #3. 4.5 years between #3 and #4. My older two were close in age because we struggled with finding a birth control that worked at our house. I strictly nursed my oldest, no supplements or bottles or any thing and I got my period back by the time she was 7 weeks old. (That was a real drag, trust me!) So much for nursing and not getting a period, that never worked for me! I always got my period back some time between 6-8 weeks after all of my babies. So the thing to realize here is that every body's body handles things differently. I have had friends who never got another period or ovulate until after they completely weened their babies. But, not me. So, if you are thinking your are ready, I would just stop preventing it and let your body and nature just take its course. Yes, that could make it more difficult if you want/need to know exactly when you conceived, but they can figure out due dates now because of sonograms.

You suggested that you might decrease the amount of time you nurse him. May I suggest that you just cut out one of the feedings. I would check with your ped. he can let you know exactly how many nursing sessions or milk type drinks he consumes in a 24 hour period. If you are enjoying and savoring nursing him, I would continue to savor and enjoy your time with him. If you are considering tandem nursing, that is an idea and you probably don't even need to worry about weening him (unless you don't ovulate because you are still nursing--i am convinced my body would have gotten pg when I had 3 month olds, if I would have let that happen). If you want to try and better understand your body and learn and figure out when you are ovulating, I would suggest you reading a book titled "Choosing the Sex of your Baby", the chapter on predicting your ovulation. That book has lots of suggestions of things you can pay attention to to better learn about your body and its cycles. But, yes, nursing can mask and hide our regular body "symptoms" of ovulation.

Just one other idea before I close. If you are like me, my breasts get so sore during the first trimester that even dressing, they hurt. I can't imagine nursing when they are so sore and uncomfortable. I hope that is not the case with you.

You are wise to ask a seasoned group of mom's for their input and ideas. Just remember that you are the one to decide and that what ever you decide will be the right choice.

It is a blessing to have children close in age...my older two had each other for company. But, I must say that I was able to enjoy my time alone with my younger two who were much more spread out over time. Honestly, I can't remember much of my #2 sons infant time because I was so exhausted chasing his big sister around ,all the time! it was exhausting being pg while chasing a very active toddler around! Imagine being 9 months preg and trying to chase a fast 19 month old in a parking lot! Been there done that and it was scary and hard! I think twins would have been easier (but I will never know if that is true since I never had twins!)
S., best of luck with your next pregnancy, i wish you the best. You will know when the time is right. Enjoy nursing your little guy....the time is so short...that to me was one of the most special times in my life, that I will forever treasure.
T.

I have no idea if this gadget works while BF, but I purchased a fertility scope. You basically check your saliva every day, and it tells you when you're ovulating. I think it runs about $40, but if you haven't gotten your period, it will end up being cheaper than ovulation kits since you can test everyday (heck, I tested my saliva 2 or 3 times some days!) https://www.fertilityscope.tv/ I got mine from walgrees.com, and had free shipping. I'd think this way you can continue to BF and find out if/when you're ovulating. Plus, it's kinda fun...

Good luck!

Well, you can start 'regular' milk, and any bf over a year is considered gravy... As for getting pregnant, you can definitely get pregnant while bf...
Good luck
R.