Blending Families

I have a blended family and my husband and I sat down and made a list of 'House Rules' The Rules had what to and not to do with the consequence next to it. Then no matter what we were a team.
If the action was really bad, I reported it to him and then together we handled it. If it was my kid, I usually took care of it and vise versa, but we tried very hard to be a team. The kids will try to break that team and they have a hard time understanding it all. Know that you can not put adult emotions on the childen, no matter what age they are.

Lots of love and patience will make the fun times great!
Our kids are 5,7,9,10...we are busy and have so much fun!

Enjoy every moment!!!
T.
www.tesabartell.myarbonne.com

ps feel free to contact me any time :)

One of the hardest things you will face is the commitment each of you will have to your own kids versus the other one's kids. Without the commitment of marriage, it might even be more difficult as the commitment might not be strong enough to overcome the obstacles. It can easily turn into manipulation on the kids part because they might not view the arrangement as permanent and you might not view it as permanent.

I would consider bringing a family counselor in to help with the issues that are sure to come up. Good Luck

T. C.
Spa Girlfriend Parties
www.spaescapescottsdale.com

I have been in a blended family not only my whole life growing up but when I got married we started our own blended family. Let me tell you that this is one of the most difficult things to have to deal with. It takes a lot of work and communication. I have read materials from a web-site that you may find helpful as well http://www.blended-families.com/
I am not saying its not worth it, but it takes a very big commitment to stay with it and not to give up.
The most important thing is that the parents have to stay connected and not show the kids that they are on opposite sides of discipline otherwise the kids will play that against the both of you.
There is also the very best of times that can be offered as well, as to bringing the family together as one!
I wish you the very best and I am willing to be here if you ever need to vent or have questions.
I have been in my marriage for 2 years but in the relationship for 10. I have a 15 year old and my husband has an 11 year old and we brought our daughter into the family a year ago.

I agree with Tese, you and your boyfriend need to sit down seperate from the children and make a list of House Rules, then together present them to the children. Make sure that you are always a united team. The children may love the ideas of new brothers and a sister, but they will be children and at some point they will each try to find a weak spot in your team. Remember too, to discuss how you are going to handle each others children. How will you feel if you walk into a room and find you boyfriend 'scolding' on of your children? How will he feel? It is important to make a promise to talk to each other openly about this. I know people where the guy feels like he can parent all the children, but the girl is not aloud to parent his children and vis-a-versa. Best of luck, and remember to have fun.