Big or Small 1St Birthday Party?

Updated on April 09, 2014
A.K. asks from Stinesville, IN
35 answers

I don't have an opinion either way, just curious. I went to a friends 1st b-day party for her boys . They rented an event space & had a lot of people there. We are just having a small party at home. I just wondered what most people do, big or small?

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i think it's kinda wack to spend a fortune on a first birthday. it should be the people in the baby's life who love her and want to enjoy her, and at a year old that shouldn't extend much beyond immediate family.
seems to me that most people who go all extravagant on a first birthday party are looking to impress.
khairete
S.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We brought mini cupcakes to her daycare with a few balloons, sang happy birthday and brought her home. Done. Same for year 2 and 3. At 4 we had a few friends over with kids her age. Once school started, and she had an opinion about who to invite, we started having birthday parties.

I know some families make a bigger deal about birthdays, but she has a long line of older cousins who were already into graduation parties and weddings.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Small. Either small or nothing at all, at that age. We had about 5 family members in my backyard. I made an applesauce cake. I might or might not have picked up some hors d'oeuvres type food. My son was sort of pleased, but mostly bewildered, by the arrival of his toy piano. They're far too young to appreciate parties at this age.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Here is the deal. We live in the same town as most of our families. This means a lot of people.

Back when our daughter was born both sets of my Grandparents were still alive and 1 set of my husbands Grandparents were alive, then you add in all of the Aunts, Uncles, their children and their children. It adds up.

Plus each of my parents were remarried.
And then our siblings.

Just the basic in town family can easily be 40 to 50 people.

So we held our daughters first Birthday Party out at the family lake house. Of course she was way too young to remember, but the rest of us remember.

It was one of the last times, both of our families were all able to be together for any event, because it seemed like the next few years, people moved or people passed away or became too frail to be away from home for very long

Our daughter still took her nap at 1:00, but the rest of us continued to visit etc..

So I think Birthday Parties are the size they need to be for each family.

As our daughter started attending day care and then school, we would go out to eat where ever she wanted to go and then we would either invite the grandparents Aunts and Uncles, or just go to Great Grandparents/Grandparents homes for cake.. etc.

And then our daughter would have a little party with her school and neighborhood friends

Again, whatever worked best for the older people in the family.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

We didn't even have a party at that age. To me birthday parties are more about kids & their friends (so school age) but I realize some families and cultures are big into celebrating these milestones.
To each their own :-)

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M.M.

answers from New London on

Small for us. But I can see it being big if you have a ton of family around. I think it is all depending on your situation or personality.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We didn't do a party until DS turned 4 and decided he wanted a party. First birthday parties are for the adults.

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Small, just family and close friends at home for us. My little guy was pretty shy and would have been attached to my side the whole time if we'd done a big party somewhere unfamiliar.

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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

We never rented a venue and instead had a small family party. Then came my son's 6th bday and we did a larger party, looking back.. I should have waited, even on that .. I found that my son was just happy to play and share some good food.. To me, it's quality not quantity... do what you enjoy... when the kids are bigger, that is when they will tell you how big or not they want a party to be.. save the cash til then :)

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

Big parties are not for the birthday child - especially at 1 or 2 or 3. They have no idea what is going on. They are overwhelmed by too much going on - too much entertainment, too many people, too much noise. And all before they are old enough to even understand what a birthday is.

At 5 or 6 or 7, it's still not for them really - it's about overkill and one-upmanship and trying to keep up with what others are doing. Kids have mostly a miserable time, and it looks like a gift-fest only. Birthday children do not get to open a few gifts in front of a few close friends or family members. Instead, gifts are the "price of admission" and are dropped off at the door while everyone then goes to play in a crowd, then the birthday child resents having to write thank you notes. So he doesn't. So the gift-givers never feel appreciated. Then next week, someone else has a 25-invited-children birthday party, and it starts all over.

Even if people have a large family, I think there should be a small party, or it should be broken up into several events over a few days if it's really necessary to have the whole crew. I do not understand these huge events, and I don't understand parents going broke with venues and entertainment and so on. All the Mamapedia posts on this subject are about people being miserable over the expense, the lack of RSVPs and the fact that guests don't really get to interact with the birthday child/family because there's too big a crows. Guest children aren't dropped off - instead the parents stay and the host family worries about providing enough food and goody bags for people who haven't even RSVPd but just show up.

It's out of hand. For a 1st birthday party, I think it's important to just take photos of the child with a cupcake & 1 candle, have a gift or 2, and be done with it. It's much more fun and a chance to celebrate the milestone without turning it into a State Dinner. We never did the big party routine, and our son grew up entirely intact!

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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Our son's first birthday was a very small affair. I honestly don't remember it, Maybe we had a piece of cake and gave him some yogurt and nursed him, because that's sort of what was going on back then. We don't have family close by, so there wasn't a group of people to have a to-do with. His beloved aunties visited later and brought gifts or some were sent from family... he is a blessed kiddo. I think small, when they are little, is just fine. They love the familiarity of family and the safe novelty of the presents.

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

We just had a small party with close family at home.

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V.S.

answers from Reading on

People should do what makes them happy. Some people have large families that would be offended if they were left out. Some people are just so happy they want to share it with everyone that has touched their child's young life. And some, like you and I, think a small gathering is more appropriate - for me, we have no family near us, so it was just friends. And honestly, a one year old naps and leaves the party cranky. No point to a large party for us. But honestly, the party is never for the baby. It's for the parents.

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B.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

1st birthday parties are for the parents not the child. Do what you are comfortable with.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

We did small for our son - just him, me and Daddy, a few presents and a small birthday cake.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Small.
Kids are too young to enjoy it. It's for the parents at this age.
Have big, fun ones when they are bigger & can enjoy it. Age 5 or 6 & on,
etc.
You can still decorate, take pictures, get presents etc.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

We live away from family so it's always been small. But I would do small even if we were close. Kids don't care till they're 4-5 years old, so there's no point in going crazy when they're babies. It's all about the adults when they're toddlers.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I kept holidays and birthdays small until she was old enough to understand what they were.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

We do small, because there aren't many for us to invite. My husband and I moved away from our hometown, so we don't have any family here... And only a few friends. (And only two who would be interested in a party for her.)

IF we were still living at home... It would be big. Heck, my family alone would have at least 25 people showing up. Lol. Even though I fully understand that the kid doesn't care at that age, the family still wants to celebrate.

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F.B.

answers from New York on

We went big, and at home. My kid was oblivious, we had a good time.

Best,
F. B.

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O.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

We did a party at home. Family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

We did family--grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins, at home.

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M.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

Small for both of ours. Just family. My husband and I have small families so it wasn't a big group. Grandparents and godparents. In both cases we had lunch, cake and presents at home. I did try to add some nice touches like a photo display and 1st Birthday themed decorations.

I've never understood big first birthday parties since I think it can be overwhelming to the guest of honor and hard to schedule around nap time. Seems like the perfect scenario for a major melt down. However, as others have said, it seems to be a matter of personal preference.

We have had some good sized birthday parties as they got older, but not when they were so little.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son's first bday was at a park, because we lived in a townhouse at the time with no yard. We invited family, several family friends and a few friends I had met through music/gymboree/playgroup activities. I can't remember how many people we had total, but I would guess it was around 35-40. Since it was at a park, it didn't feel overwhelming. People were spread out. I passed out the goodie bags at the beginning of the party, because they were big sand pails filled with chalk, bubbles, and things to do at the park. The kids were easily entertained thew hole time, without having to hire anyone to entertain.

My daughter's first bday was similar, but at our house, since we had moved and had a backyard. We have a swingset in our backyard and I think I brought the train table outside for the kids to play with (several of the kids were in the 3-5 age range).

Neither was huge or expensive, but certainly more than just family or a couple of friends.

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B.B.

answers from Missoula on

Family and close friends at home, so fairly small.

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K.C.

answers from Denver on

We had a small party for my son's first. Cake and a couple of family friends at our house. Low-key and simple.

I've seen pics of MY first b'day party and my parents (actually my grandparents) went all out. I was the first grandchild and my grandparents knew how to throw a party. I don't remember any of it. Apparently I hated the enormous green marzipan covered cake (still hate marzipan to this day).

My cousins live in Hawaii and according to them, first b'days are pretty special. They both rented places (one got the party room at the fanciest hotel in town!), had the party catered, had what looked like a million guests, etc. Seems that's what they do there for first b'days.

Although I think it's silly to go to those extremes for a party the kid isn't even going to remember, to each his own. Doesn't really affect me either way.

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

We do a big one. The first two had a party at the park with about 60 people. Number 3 will have his at my mom's condo clubhouse and pool, since it will be too hot by then to be at the park.

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

a 1st birthday is more for you than your child. So it needs to be what works for you. If you have a big home and want to have a blow out party then go for it. If you want to have a small intimate party go for that. Your little one is not going to remember it anyway lol. The people who had the big party at the event place probably had a lot of people and didn't want the mess at home. We had all of our kids 1st birthdays at home. But we had a huge yard and there was plenty of space for the rest of the families kids to run around. our family is big. So even if we didn't invite extra people we were approaching 30 to 40 people if all the immediate family came.

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A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Small. Immediate family and my closest friends. 15-20 people I think.

I've been to those big parties. Mostly the babies seem to get overwhelmed.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Party at home-take a lot of pictures-sweet!

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J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

We have just had small family get togethers the past few years. Honestly as long as there is cake, balloons, and presents my daughter is happy. Now her next birthday she turns 4 and I think we will have a bigger party where we invite her friends. Throwing a big party for the 1st or 2nd birthday is more for the parents in my opinion.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

The first birthday party is for the parents, you may as well go big.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

For each of my kids, when they turned one, we had a party in the backyard. They were both late June birthdays. Probably had 30 or so people. These were primarily family parties, although with our second child, we had a few more friends with little ones his age, so a few toddlers were there. We catered in food and everyone hung out outside. Of course, these parties are more for the guests than the guest of honor. My oldest napped for a good deal of her party. With more tiny tots at the second party, we set up more things for them like the kiddie pool and outside play toys.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

The first couple of birthday's is only for those attending. The child is often unaware or highly embarrassed by all the attention. So it really really doesn't matter what you do. Please the family and that's going to go over big with the extended ones.

As they get older they want their own party with no relatives in attendance.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My first child: it was about 30 people.
My 2nd child: no "party" formally. Just something at home. Just family.

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