A friend of mine is on her last strings of patience with her husband. They have been talking divorce, however, they continue to have the same arguments over and over....nothing changes, deadlines for things to be done are missed or forgotten, he won't share the financial information with her, etc.
She is stressed out beyond repair! I feel so helpless.
They are trying to get into counselling, but again, it just isn't happening.
I realize no "book" is going to save them, but right now my friend could just use some sound advice or "self help".
Any of you mamas have any recommendations? (For books that is...;) )
Thanks Mamas! I did just suggest to my friend to maybe take some time and find a book or two that really speak to her. I gave her some of your suggestions and decided to get a few myself to read. Who can't use better communication skills in their marriage?
Thank you all so much for your insight!
I second "Fireproof" the movie and the "Love Dare" book as well as "The Proper Care and Feeding of..." books!
I've read so many good ones - Love and Respect is probably one of my top favorites - very eye-opening and helpful.
"The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage" or "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" both by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
Proper care and feeding of husbands!
Divorce Busting and The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.
The movie Fire Proof in addition to the book The Love Dare.
I posted this response to someone else's question just a day or so ago and I thought it may help your friend too:
Have you ever heard of the book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs? I first heard about it in my MOPS group. The activity for the day was a "man panel" -a group of husbands that volunteered to basically sit in the hot seat and let us women have a Q&A session. Several of the men mentioned this book as an awesome tool that made their marriages stronger. The whole concept of the book is that women need love and men need respect. As women we are just hard-wired to respond to gestures and communication in a loving way. For men it is respect that really makes them respond to us more readily. It is fascinating and there are even workshops and conferences you can attend to help with issues within your marriage. Go to www.loveandrespect.com. for more information.
A.
Both by Dr. Laura: Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John M. Gottman (Author)
Excellent resource!
"Fighting For Your marriage"
http://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Your-Marriage-Preventing-P...
A friend of mine is using this book right now. Seems to be working
I have bought many books. I have visited many sites. For some reason the emails that he (Mort Fertel) sends every few days contain such great advice and make such sense. He actually makes the most sense. Even more so than any of the books I have bought.
I like "A Grown-Up Marriage" by Judith Viorst - I don't think it's exactly a self-help book per se, but it does help give some perspective on things.
http://www.amazon.com/Grown-Up-Marriage-Known-Still-Marri...
Dr Phil has some helpful advice on his website and practical advice. Hope your friend gets the support she needs. I know its rough!
M
I second the John Gottman book. I studied him in some of my psych classes years ago. He's a great resource for information.
This isn't exactly what we typically think of as a "save your marriage book", but IF a significant part of their marital problems are about $, I recommend Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover" (I especially recommend the audio version- I think it has more impact).
$ is the #1 reason couples split. This article is good at explaining that
"You can't have a great relationship until you can communicate and agree about money."
http://www.daveramsey.com/article/the-truth-about-money-a...
My DH weren't having any real problems in our marriage, but we both feel that when we both got on the same page about $, and worked together to decide how to spend/ save it, it brought us even closer. He is so good at telling couples how to go about doing that, which is why he's saved countless troubled marriages.
http://www.daveramsey.com/store/books/Audiobooks/Total-Mo...
It's available at many other sites too.
Very best wishes for your friend and her family!! :)
A good book is "For Women Only". It's from a scientific study of men and what they think about things and why, giving women a better understanding of them. It's written well, easy to read, so the data does not get in the way of understanding what the author is saying (who is a woman, so she is able to explain it to us). Here's a website about it: http://www.shaunti.com/BooksStudies/ForWomenOnly/tabid/13... There's also a Men's version written by Shaunti and her husband.
I highly recommend the 5 Love Languages! (and I'm going to buy The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands) !! so thanks ladies! :)
check out:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
great book and it can be applied to all aspects of relationships not just marriage..
good luck!
