Been Feeling "Under the Weather" So to Speak!

Been there done that...my hubby is Nat'l Guard and was deployed 30/36 months since 2005. I think some of what you are feeling is sheer separation anxiety. It is overwhelming to suddenly be in charge of EVERYTHING and feel like you have no support system. First, I would recommend calling on friends and family to help you out...even give you a break with the baby. Second, you need to hire a babysitter and go for a spa day for yourself. And lastly, you need to talk to your PCP about possible depression and some talk therapy. You may not need it long term but it will help to just talk with someone.

I too found that after my husband left for Iraq and Kosovo I was mad more often...it wasn't until I really started journaling and counseling that I realized I was mad at him because I hadn't signed up for this kind of life (he was a weekend warrior...NOT full time Army)...it took a long time for me to come to terms that the National Guard had changed because of 9/11 (we all knew it was coming but it was still a shock). I resented my family (and his) who always said they'd be there and now suddenly weren't. I started taking parenting classes just to get out of the house and meet other parents (and get 2 hours free childcare) and realized from a lot of single parents that I could do this...that eventually he was coming home and I just needed to stick it out. The classes taught me how to cope with my anger and how not to take it out on my child...how to discipline without the emotion coming into play and how to parent as a single parent and then how to transition back to 2 parents.

Cry when you need to. It's alright. And you'll feel better for it. I remember having fits just like you're describing and my son coming in and just sitting with me and hugging me telling me it would be ok. Talk about a role reversal! But it helped for him to see that I too have emotions and I get hurt just like him...together we were able to comfort eachother.

But seriously, I would suggest talking to your PCP about this. If this is depression it can be controlled with medication and it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be a long term medication either...give it a few months and see how it goes. If you ever need someone to talk to...feel free to email me...here or at home ____@____.com Hang in there you have a strength you never knew you had! :)

Dear S....it is really hard to give you good advice without knowing you a lot better...and of course you aren't coming here for deep psychological advice!!
I am assuming, from the comment about Ft. Hood that you are an Army Wife...and THAT I DO have experience with..having been married to a career Army man for the past 40 years!!!
There have been a lot of changes in your life lately...you are now essentially a "single parent" since your Husband is geographically far away from you....you have gone back to work after having been able to stay at home with your children and you have moved. Any one of those is enough to cause a "ripple" in your emotional well being and you have THREE of them to deal with!!!
I see that you live in Junction City, Ks, therefore you have access to the support groups that would be available to you at Fort Riley...please go to the Army Community Service office ( or whatever they call it now!!! )and ask them where you can go for support and a social network to help you. Are you involved in a church there in Junction City?? If so...talk with your pastor about a group that I am sure they have there for military spouses who's husband/wife is away. Most of all...whatever the reason for your husband being in Ft. Hood...know that it isn't forever, you WILL survive this...and it WILL get better!!! Our son ( Who coincidentally is stationed at Ft. Hood) is on his 3rd tour of Iraq...his family is dealing with the seperation one day at a time...looking forward to the day that he comes home and they are all together again.
If I can be of help to you...as one military wife to another..please message me and I will be happy to just provide a listening ear!!
R. Ann

Hi S.,

I suggest you tell you doctor as soon as possible. It sounds like the beginning of depression. Depression can have symptoms of not feeling well, fatigue, aches and pains, over or under eating habits, etc. This is something you need to get under control before it controls you. I'm speaking from experience here.

There are options out there for you; prescription drugs, counseling, therapies, etc. Look around your town to see what options you have. Prescription drugs did not work for me but have for many others. A weekly call to a professional is what helped me along with joining Daisy Blue Naturals (a direct selling company).

Don't give up. Search your options to find what works for you.

Best Wishes,

J. H.

How long have you been feeling this way? I have been feeling "out of sorts" the past week or 2. I usually feel that way around PMS but this is a different feeling...it's a feeling of restlessness. I've been on Prozac for many years to help my PMS symptoms. I still get PMS but it's not nearly as bad as it was without medication...has anything changed in your life to feel this way? If the feeling continues I might talk to you doctor about it. Good luck and I hope things get better for you :)

Great advice already given. I would say your feelings are a lot stress related. You are away from your husband and basically a single parent right now. Do you have any outside support from family or friends? Don't be afraid to rely on their help. Also, you may be suffering from S.A.D.--seasonal affective disorder. A visit to your doctor is really needed. Medication can help you feel more like yourself and the suggestion about vitamin deficiency is good too. Lack of Vitamin B's and Vitamin D can cause these type of symptoms too. Last of all, how's your faith? We need spiritually fed too. Church, prayer and Bible study are all needed to keep us healthy emotionally. I'm 50 years old and "been there, done that", so I am speaking from experience!

Are you pregnant? I would not be afraid to talk to your Dr. about these issues. I was having some trouble after my second son was born and it took me a little while to talk to my Dr. about them b/c "I'm not crazy" and "I'll be okay in a few days", etc. But she was very understanding (I talked to my OB/gyn) and suggested a very mild medication that has really helped just "take the edge off" of things. I've always been against drugs and totally for working through things on my own, but I've learned that its okay to have a little help when you really need it.

S., i don't know your story or what has been going on with you, but i will tell you, it has been a hard winter for a lot of people. my husband has been virtually unemployed for the last three months, then we had an apartment fire, and had to move, and my work changed locations (another move). all this while dealing with a two year old. it has not been easy and i have felt at times just like you're describing. we are all okay and i realize that i should be grateful for what we have, but it isn't always easy. in my personal case, i SERIOUSLY need a vacation. #1 because i have not had any time off since my son was born, and #2 because i can not function well without something to look forward to, some kind of hope that things will get better. having said that, my husband has finally decided to get a S. part-time job (duh, hubby), and has decided to go truck driving school to get a BETTER full-time job, to provide for his family, and i also did our taxes, which, since we're in a lower tax bracket since he's been out of work, is giving us a nice fat check. all these things have helped pull me out of my little "funk". i realize it's not about the money, but you have to have that security that the bills will be paid. anyway. that's my story. i'd be glad to talk to you or listen to your issues if you need an ear, email me anytime. the key for me is hope, and something to look forward to. if you can find something to give you that i bet you'll feel better. good luck!

Great advice from everyone here. I'd just like to second talking to your doctor about it or some sort of support group or counseling. It does sound like you're going through alot and sometimes we just need the extra support. Even a low dose of anti-depressants might help. Your doctor and or counselor can certainly help you determine if that's the best course of action. With support groups, sometimes its just nice to know that there are others out there going through similar issues.

Sounds like it could be depression. Do you have a Pastor you could talk to? Or a counselor? Also, check out your diet. Eating lots of vegetables and fruits and whole grains has helped me. Stay away from sugar, deep fried stuff and saturated fat too. You say your husband is at Fort Hood. Can you go to be there with him? Maybe you just miss him. (My husband is military and it gets rough raising the kids alone sometimes.) God bless.

I haven't read all the responses, but noticed a lot thought it might be depression. You definately need to go to the doctor, but before they give you anti depressants make sure they check your blood. Vitamins affect your mood significantly. Vitamin D & B levels can immitate depression. If your levels are fine I would say it is depression. I had a period of 6 months that just kept getting worse and worse. I had went to 3 different doctors-all tested my blood, but only one tested my vitamin levels. I was only mildly vitamin d deficient (easy to correct without meds), but the other two doctors wanted to put me on lexipro. This time of year people get really vitamin deficient due to lack of time in the sun. Definately seek medical attention either way it sounds like to you need to get to the bottom of it. Goodluck! :)

Hey S.! I went thru a period of time like that and my doctor put me on Lexipro and it helped tremendously. I liked it because it had the least amount of side effects. Then I started an at home business so I could stay home with my kids and get out of that stressful job I had. My business is great and they have tons of all natural vitamins and supplements that help with the energy levels, emotional ups and downs, etc. If you'd like to know more about that, let me know. I'd love to help you the way they have helped me!

D. S.
www.wahu2day.com
www.livetotalwellness.com/DebbieS
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S.,

I had very similar feelings after I had my kids. I am
not sure it even matters if you have had kids or not, if your hormones are out of balance it can do all sorts of
weird things to you. I would go to a Dr. and get a full panel of hormone tests done. Some Drs. won't do all the
tests you need (b/c of insurance reasons ususally), so you may have to hunt around for one that will.

Hope that helps!
T.

I'm sue a lot of it has to do with everything that is going on in your life. You may be going through some depression. Personally I have been actually sick for over 2 weeks. Mostly cold and cough but also fever, sore throat, larygitis, ear infection. I have worked most of the time but still can not shake the cough.

S.,

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like to me, you're suffering from depression. If you can, take a break and call your doctor. If you don't, it could get worse. Please don't put if off.

God bless you,

L.

It sounds like you are over wellemed and need some family support. I also recamend seeing your doctor too she/he will recomend something to help. I know I have been working and my huband has been out of work for 6 months. I have two girls too I didn't ask for help and it put me in the hopital. I couldn't help my family after that for a few months. I think you sould focus on what you need and want. I t will help you in the long run.

Sounds like you are a bit stressed out. You could benefit from some internal cleansing and balancing in the form of colonics, massages, and accupunture. And its probably a good idea to have your hormone levels checked. www.naturalhighwellness.com

Cindy is right too about faith. trusting in God and allowing Him to help you through is the best advice. I just recently felt what you are feeling and could not have made it if it were not for my relationship with the Lord.

Hello, S.!

It could be a number of things most of which have been listed below. Stress from the changes in your life (going back to work, missing your hubby, the stress of taking care of your family day to day by yourself (even if he didn't really do much to help out, I am sure that he was there in support and allowed you the opportunity to escape by yourself for a few moments anyway), seasonal affective disorder at this time of year affects alot of people, but it also could be a hormonal thing. I was having similar symptoms. I knew something wasn't right with me and through a battery of test they found that I have polycycstic ovarian disorder which is affecting my hormones and has me out of sorts sometimes. I personally am experiencing the three at the same time. Which is why I think they just originally wrote it off to stress. (I am a single mom, and was facing a lay-off-now unemployed.) I have started trying to take better care of myself watching what I eat and exercising. The exercising and fresh air really seem to help me.

Gives you some things to think about. And then you need to pursue a solution. Start by going to your doctor or talking with your company's EAP Counselor, or your church pastor and they can guide you in where to turn. Good Luck!