Bad Words or Phrases Your Kids Say.

Updated on April 13, 2014
W.. asks from Detroit, MI
17 answers

Was talking with some friends this morning and discussing funny things toddlers say. My two year old refers to cotton balls as "Cock and Balls".
When my son used to say frog, it would come out "F***".
Im not one for my kids intentionally cursing, but when they do it on accident its pretty funny.
Any words or phrases your toddlers butcher into being hilarious?

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Let's just say I never truly appreciated the nuances of enunciation until I had a toddler in my house. As well I find it amazing strangers barely understand someone else’s small kid until it comes to what sounds like a swear word. Then magically everyone can understand what the little darling is saying.

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K.C.

answers from Albany on

When my son was little, he had trouble saying the "dr" and "tr" combinations at the beginnings of words -- it would come out "fr." So he would say "frawer" instead of "drawer", "fresser" instead of "dresser", and the best was fire truck -- which came out "fire fruck" or "fire f**k"! It was actually pretty darn hilarious! Another favorite was him mispronouncing Cocoa Krispies as "Cocoa Pissries"... lol

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X.O.

answers from Chicago on

My 4 year old has a tough time pronouncing some words, so if you were to hear him say to you, "You're being a dick-" don't fly off the handle--he'll finish his sentence "a-lous." He's TRYING to say, "You're being ridiculous." Cracks me up.

My 3 year old, however, just picked up the phrase "butt-face" from the playground. Infuriating.

ETA: My MIL's first language is not English. When they were selling their house, by owner, she'd frequently try to get prospective buyers excited about their back yard by saying, "And look, we have a very big d***." DECK, lady, DECK!

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L.P.

answers from Dallas on

We took our 3 year old to the beach. She decided it was her beach. Walked up to nice people and told them "this is my b**ch!" We immediately started saying ocean, but even that sounded like "oh sh*t" when she said it. I will treasure the embarrassment forever.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

My grandson is 10. He has successfully been taught to not use "bad" words. He often asks if such and such is bad. Today with a grin on his face he asked if he could say bad words. I said he could. So he went down the list of common swear words prefacing each with "can I say-----? And then say the word a few times. Once he was through he reassured me he wouldn't say them anymore.

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A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

My youngest always wanted me to read "F__ks and S__ks" instead of "Fox in Sox".

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I remember when my son was about 2 yo, we were in the car going to a birthday celebration at my mom's house. I said "Wow! Look at the fog!". My son picked it right up and proceeded to say "fog" as "f*c*", over and over and over. We could not get him to stop! We arrived at my mom's and the "fog" talk continued. You should have seen the look on my mom's face when that rolled out of his mouth! We explained what he was trying to say and tried to correct him over and over, but it stuck as his new favorite word.
We also had some explaining to do at preschool the following day. Argh.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

When my eldest was about one, we went to see my brother (then childless). I don't remember what set him off but my brother let a curse word slip. His wife got on to him and warned him about "little ears". He replied "She's too little to repeat that, besides I said .....uhh.... schmucker"
Right then our daughter piped up "schmucker schmucker schmucker schmucker"

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My daughter used to pronounce sit with an "sh". I thought it was hilarious and never corrected her when she told us to sit down. Hubby thought it was terrible, but I wouldn't let him correct her either. :)

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

OH yes. My 4 year old likes to do the whole "where is thumbkin" song, and it is quite cute. Except it sounds like she is singing "where is f***in"... so hard not to laugh!

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O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

My kids are older now so I can't remember that far back. lol However, I do remember my son would call SpongeBob SquarePants...Bah Bah Pin Pin. We still laugh about that and tease him. lol

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C.P.

answers from Albuquerque on

I do not generally edit what I say around dd, and she is very quick to understand that there are some "grown-up words" that are not appropriate for her to repeat. She has asked me what they mean... :) I'm also not very strict about some words (like my mom was with me), I just make sure she uses them in correct context and not at school. We had a whole discussion one day about whether "hate" is a bad word... The one she recently picked up is "freaking out!" I think she got it from another kid at school, but it doesn't really bother me.

The one that still makes me chuckle is when my daughter would get so excited on our drive yelling out (what sounded like) "Michael's f(l)ag!!" (she didn't pronounce the "L"). What?! for a few days, I heard her repeat, repeat, repeat. Finally figured it out: American FLAG!

My nephew cannot pronounce the "k" sound (don't ask, I can't understand why they don't put him in speech class). Anyways, he ran around yelling "The Titty Tat is on the Tar!!" "Titty Tat! Titty Tat!" hahahaha! The Kitty Cat is on the Car! He just could not make that "k" sound!

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My nephew and I were at Best Buy one Saturday afternoon and there was fishing show on the big screen. He got so excited... he started yelling, "Aunty, Aunty, look that man on TV, he's pis*ing, he's pis*ing. Aunty, Aunty, can't you see him, he's pis*ing on TV!!" I was laughing so hard I couldn't even correct him! :)

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A.H.

answers from Canton on

Very cute...loved reading all the replies.
When my son was around 3, he couldn't say sweeper. He called it the
beek-a-boo. My daughter has never been able to get New York to come out correctly and she's 5. She calls it Yu Nork...lol!

1 mom found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My 3 year old can't do s-consonant sounds, so her spoon is her poon. That one can get pretty funny, depending on how she's using it on any given day. (spoon-poon, spill-pill, I guess they don't come out as bad words but end up meaning something else.)

She just recently started saying "Damn" though, and I'm a bit disturbed by it. Especially since she told me yesterday, "Damn, I need to pee." Oh my. SOMEONE better watch their language. Ahem.

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

My daughter has been in speech therapy for almost two years now, and is finally mostly caught up... But she still has trouble with "k" sounds when used in a sentence.

Every night its, "I need a night-night piss!" Or, "I want a piss from Daddy!"

Smh. We have been working in it for over a month... She is showing some progress. Lol.

I still love the time we were at the park, and she made friends with a little boy. He had a big stick. (At the time, she was also having issues with the 's' sound too...) They were taking turns using it to draw in the dirt. While she was waiting for her turn, she looks at his mom and says, "Your son has a big d***! But it's ok because he shares with me."

We were cracking up about it, while they continued to play... Completely oblivious. Lol.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

When my BIL was going through his divorce, we often had his then 6 year old. The little guy mentioned his mom had a job, so to show interest in the conversation, I asked what she was doing. He replied, "She is a belly dancer".

Umm...what? Ewwww. A belly dancer, yes of course.

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