If you have read my previous posts, you know I am getting a divorce and I have two young children (8 months and 3 years) and my career is being a R.N. I am so upset with having to go back to work so much more to support us and pay someone else to take care of my children and missing out on precious time with them. It was always the plan for me to primarily stay at home with the girls and just work on occasion when my husband was able to watch them and we would do this until they were both in school. Well, not gonna happen now and it kills me that my youngest is only 8 months and this is happening...I think its much harder now that I have already gotten to stay home with my oldest and now know what I'm gonna be missing. I know mothers have to do this all the time and I too know I and my kids will be fine, but it is giving me such a heartache that all this is happening...the divorce is enough but add this on and ugh :( I guess I'm just looking for your experiences or comments to make me feel better. I always appreciate all the advice on here so much, thanks! When I start working full time it will be 4 days of 10+ hour shifts(8:30 to 6pm weekday only and no holidays) depending on when the day surgery patients all go home, so atypical hours.
Ugh, I just found out that our shifts are actually until 7 pm unless we are stuck there late because of patients still being there, so longer than I expected. May be hard doing 4 days of those even if get off weekends and holidays...I just don't know what is gonna be best. Thanks again for your responses :-)
can you get enough $ from him so you don't have to work yet? I know judges have given that before, worth a try.
I guess you have to put into perspective for yourself. Glass half full kinda thing. You have 830-6 so not your typical 7-7 and that is great! You will still have your evenings and you can still have a little time in the morning. You will have a 3 day weekend every week so a whole extra day compared to normal full time hours. It will be hard, but you can do it and so can your children. Lucky you to have a career to go back to that will allow you to not only support your family, but have time with them as well. You can do it!
My Mom worked at a Nuclear Power Plant and had atypical hours. We turned out just fine. We went to daycare. We are all healthy grown ups with a great relationship with our Mother. I think we are closer because we were all we had. My sister works 4 on days - 4 off and 3 on nights with 3 off. She is lucky as my Mom was laid off and was able to move in and help. Is it possible that you have family in the area that could help out (with pay?) If not, tour the facilities that you are thinking of putting them into. They will be fine. Be present in your child's life. Make use of the time you do have. Kids remember the simple things you do for them more than the big ones. Good luck to you. I was divorced almost four years ago after a 12 year marriage. It is hard at first but it does get easier after you settle into a routine. I am sorry for the loss of your marriage. CB
I haven't been through any of that, but my mother-in-law is a nurse as was her mother, and her mom was widowed when my MIL was a little girl and raised her alone--that was 40+ years ago. You will be okay, your girls will be okay, and they will grow up seeing what a hard working, inspirational mom they have. My parents were together while we were kids, but my mom also was a nurse and worked crazy hours, but we learned to tiptoe around the living room after school when she had done overnights and my dad was at work still. Just try to maximize your weekend time with your girls.
There is a fantastic board, called allnurses.com, they have a great forum, where I bet you will find your answer
Well I'm not a nurse, but I did work atypical hours (finally starting somewhat normal hours at my new job tomorrow, but they will eventually get to be atypical as well) and had to put my son in daycare and essentially since he was about 2 months old have now been doing the "single" mom thing (his dad is around, but is somewhat useless after a lot of problems happened). I'm not gonna lie, it's hard. There are days that I get so frustrated because I feel like I'm having to do everything by myself. I'm expected to have two hats, breadwinner and caregiver. But, I will say that he makes everything worth it. He always has a big smile on his face when I go to pick him up from daycare and I have learned to cherish the little moments that we have together (giving him a bath each night is my favorite part of the day!). It'll be hard, but I hate to say that you adjust, you get used to it cause you know you have to and have no other choice, and start to value all the moments you can have with them! Good luck with everything!
You'll do great, but keep looking around. I know several mom nurses who r essentially SAHM's bc they work 3-12's see if any hospitals in your areaoffer that schedule. It's wonderful for moms. Take care & good luck :)
Be strong mama, you can do this.
I'm sending you a hug and lots of strength.
I'm thankful that you have a profession that you can go back to. I read on this post so many who don't. I know that it is difficult, this wasn't the plan. No one plans for divorce! I worked with both my kids. My daughter was in daycare and when our son was 6 weeks old, I put him in daycare and went back to work. Hardest thing I ever did. I will say this, I was laid off when our daughter started high school. I am so glad I had that time. I feel it is very important for parents to be there when kids are in high school. So much is going on in this world and kids are so eager to grow up fast!
This might not have been your plan but it is now. If you have family that can help that would be wonderful. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It will get better!
HI There,
My Mom got her RN when my parents split so that she would have a job that she could support us with. She already had her LPN and had to go to school fulltime and work as a single mother with 6 of us to support. After that she worked graveyard shifts, so she worked 4 on 3 off, but was often very tired trying to acclimate back to daytime hours. It was very very hard.
Looking back on it as an adult, and also knowing as a child that these were the things that she had to do, and we all turned out ok. I would, however, encourage you to be sure to reach out to any relatives, your ex or close friends that you might have to make sure that your little ones are getting what they need while you have to work.
The really nice thing for you is that you'll get a little time in the a.m. and at night, and you'll get those 3 full days to spend with them. It will be an adjustment, but you'll al make it through! Hang in there Mama!
My mom is a nurse and was a single mom. So just to let you know my sister and I turned out just fine!
a 4-10 schedule is good because you will have 3 days to spend with your little ones. But if the long hours don't work for you you may want to look for a different job with a more flexible schedule. Luckily as a nurse you have lots of options. My mom took a job in home care and it was very flexible. So she was able to get us to dr appts, dentist appts school functions etc. Just a thought!
I really feel your pain, my son is 9 weeks old and I will be going back to work in a few weeks and it's really tearing me up. Unfortunately we can't afford for me not to work. So even though I'm not a single mom, I know what you are going through. Just know that it gets better and easier!
My mama worked graveyards in a power plant and my sister was special needs. She didn't make a lot, but we made it! We are very close and I was very close with my sis until she passed a couple years back. I am so sorry that you are having to go through all this but I know you will do well and a nurse's salary will provide nicely for you guys I believe. As you said you and your daughters will be just fine. I totally feel for you though because as a SAHM myself I can't imagine the pain of not being with my kids full time even though they drive me bonkers!! I contemplated working a little while back and felt like my heart would explode. Hang in there, this is tough, I'll be praying for you guys. But yes, my mom did it on less money than is ideal, somehow didn't get on any assistance and recently retired with a nice little nest egg(she didn't have to do the power plant thing forever!). God helps single mamas a lot, He's got your back ;)
