Another One About Teacher gifts....and Communication with Teachers

What about calling these people? Sometimes people are busy, or don't use email very much, or forget to respond. My DD's teacher doesn't email at all, she does notes, flyers & calls. I like that she's open to phone calls because we discuss whatever needs to be discussed & it's a done deal at that time - no waiting, wondering, assuming.

I find email the best way to communicate with my son's teacher.

As for what teachers "expect"? NOTHING.
What they'd LOVE? Note from you expressing thanks for all they do, you can detail a particular thing that has been helpful, etc. And for sure a B&N gift card would be a special bonus!

Hmm. Yes double check the email. I had my own asst principal emaling me for months and he had the wrong email address (apparently I had two - one with my maiden name and one with my legal still-ex's name).

I see what you are saying about not wanting to work so hard to push people to use you as a resource. It's exhausting to try to help people, going out of your way to try to help and then just be given the cold shoulder. Perhaps you can go meet with the principal and say "What does this mean about the education my son is getting if I am here screaming "I will help! I am a science resource!" and the teachers ignore me? Don't y'all like free help?"

As a former teacher of 2nd, 3rd, and 5th, I'd LOVE for someone else to come in and teach my kids science stuff for an hour. I can take a breather and the kids can have the expert teaching them, instead of lame-ol-me who doesn't quite understand molecules and volcanoes and planets exactly (I STILL don't remember which planets have rings and which are hot and which have multiple moons). So why would a teacher NOT call you back? Eh maybe they're busy - grades and Thanksgiving break and Christmas break all coming up? Or they think they're know-it-all's and they think you are a pushy know-it-all and they don't want you butting in. ??

As for Christmas? - A Barnes and Noble gift card sounds great. I never once got a gift card and would have loved one. I got nick-nacks and chocolate (the crappy kind). I'd have loved a 10-pack of Snickers with a big bow on it much more.

First make sure you have the e-mail address correct. I was sending an e-mail to a teacher but had one letter wrong and it still got sent, where I do not know.Second, during a parent teacher conference approach the subject of communication and your concerns. Sometimes, you can request a meeting that is not during the usual parent teacher conference dates. As for the gifts. I know they love gift cards. And as for helping out typically at the beginning of the year there is a sign up sheet that asks parents to help with things through out the year. Ask her if there was one that you missed signing up for and that to add you to it cuz you want to help and can help with supplies if needed.You may choose to drop off a letter to the main office to put in her mailbox. Hope this helps!

As for the emails, check your junk-email to make sure its not going there. I had three emails from Ebay and Paypal end up there last week. 3 emails from the same addresses came through, 3 did not. all sent around the same time...

As for gifts, I ususally do a $10 gift card to Subway, Pizza Hut, Target, so B&N sounds fine. Then again, just a card from your child saying Merry Christmas with no gift card or gift is fine also...

I would start by setting up a meeting with your teacher, just as a checkpoint to see how she feels things are going. While meeting with her ask her how she prefers to be communicated with. I have had a variety or teachers from those who use email daily to those who hardly use it at all and prefer handwritten notes, to others who call me and have actually given me their personal phone #'s.
Regarding volunteering. Our school generally does not allow parents to volunteer in their own child's classroom. You can volunteer in other areas of the school and there should be plenty of opportunities. Contact the PTA president and let her know you are available to help and are there any areas where they have a shortage of volunteers. We are in Miami Dade county and to get certified as a volunteer, we just have to go to the Parent Portal on the MDPS website and sign up to be a volunteer. You enter your personal information and they do the check and notify the school that you qualify. It's pretty quick and easy. The PTA is usually the best place to work with in terms of volunteering - they usually know all of the opportunities available at the school, whereas the school office staff usually doesn't. In the public schools, at least, they have been cut back to bare bones staff and are just keeping up with the day to day responsibilities of running the school.
Regarding teacher gifts - the best thing is usually to try to take up a class collection, maybe $10/child (but make it optional and let people know that any amount will be appreciated), then buy a gift card to someplace like Barnes and Noble or Target and present it to the teacher as a gift from the class. This actually makes it easier for everyone involved, 1 less gift to shop for, teacher gets something they can use, no one feels like their gift doesn't measure up. Sign the card from everyone, so no one gets left out, regardless of whether everyone donated or not. These are tough times and you never know what someone else can and cannot afford.
Good luck. There are good teachers and there are bad, but my experience has been that the vast majority are good and all of them are really trying their best.

I have been a teacher for 15 years. Although I NEVER ask for gifts, gift certificates are always thoughtful, as ALL of the items in my room (minus textbooks) are purchased with my own personal money. Not to sound too cliche, I do also love the simple things that come from the students' hearts.
I also would say that it is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE to wait a week and a half for an email reply or more than the next day for a reply in the planner. I would expect a call from an upset parent if I took any longer. The only acceptable thing that would prevent me from doing this would be my absence. My school's policy is no more than 24 hours, unless in my absence or on a non-work day.
As you wonder about whether your teacher goes above and beyond, I have several questions for you to ask yourself. Does your teacher suggest and send home resources to assist you with your child's SPECIFIC needs? This shows that she knows your child's needs and wants to help you assist with his/her progress. Does she think about your family's needs and schedules when scheduling conferences? This shows that she knows your family and respects the home-school relationship. Is she an active member of extra-curricular activities or academic committees at the school? This shows her commitment level to the school's progress. When she speaks to you about your child, does she seem genuine, sincere, and kind? This speaks to her personal commitment and feelings towards her job duties and children in general. Does she seem knowledgeable about the state curriculum and best practices for teaching it to her students? These questions are just ways for you to reflect on your feelings about the teacher's actions. If she doesn't know something, does she find out for you in a timely manner? Some people expect teachers to know everything, but depending on policy changes, standard changes, experience, etc., they can't. BUT they should be more than willing to find out in a timely manner. With three kids of my own, I have had the pleasure of having some amazing teachers for my students and some not so amazing teachers. You have motherly instincts. Those instincts are definitely the best way to gauge your child's teacher. You'll know when you have a teacher that knocks your socks off!
As for the volunteer process, I am also the VP of the PTA at my childrens' school. By no means should you have to beg to help. When you fill out the required form at our school, your name goes on the "cleared" list for the year. At this particular school, we don't get many parent volunteers. When we need someone, we use this list to call. I would suggest you call the school to check to make sure your name is on the list. Sometimes you are required to have you ID scanned to make it "official." I had a parent who made a simple mistake in the app. process that prevented her name from making the list. She quickly fixed it and was put on the list. As a teacher, I make sure to call the parents that make it well-known that they are available to assist. Not because of favoritism, but by nature I don't want to "bother" others. Additionally, some schools are accustomed to functioning without volunteers simply because there is usually a shortage. I would suggest attending the school's advisory committee meetings and PTA meetings. You know your skills and strengths. At these meetings, you will hear about what is going on around the school and be able to put yourself out there based on the actual need at the time and your schedule/abilities. There are usually multiple volunteer coordinators for different departments of a school and a lot of times they just don't coordinate with each other the way they should.
Lastly, I would like to applaud you for your willingness to assist in your child's education. It really makes a world of difference in a teacher's life.

With the volunteering, I completely feel your pain. I live in s. Georgia, but I, too, filled out a form that went nowhere. As it is, filling out the form left things vague, so I wasn't even sure what I was volunteering for.

Those forms often do not go to your teacher at all. The teacher may collect them, but the forms go to the principal at the very least (or front office), and they might even be collected at the district level. With funding cuts everywhere, in every state, the people who handled these forms and coordinated volunteers may no longer have jobs. The positions may be spread out to other people and that may mean nobody's manning the fort, so to speak.

The district here has been dealing with the same. I went to a volunteer meeting (and this is where I filled out the background check form--it was never sent home, and they cannot do a background check without your written permission and SSN, etc.), and the district is trying to create a parent task force to streamline volunteering programs to make them parent-friendly, since the disorganization seems to be neglecting parents now, turning them away (so that they don't even fill out the form next year), or causing them to connect less to the school (and their student's performance/homework/etc.). I have the time, and I really want to be involved with the school system until my kids graduate completely, so I'm going to try to help with this... but that doesn't help Tampa, FL, where you are. I think this is a common problem for us parents, though.

Go ahead and check e-mail, but I would call. Or send a note in an envelope, with the teacher's name on it. The teachers are really busy, especially at the elementary level... no, at every level... good luck, and thanks for trying so hard to be involved! I hope the communication improves.

We are in Sarasota, FL and experience the same thing. In fact, I have a family member who lives in another country and would love to support my son and his teacher from afar. My son is in the ESE program here and they have almost zero money for extras. I asked DS's ESE teacher that a member of my family basically wanted to write her a blank check for needed supplies and she declined. I was aghast.

As for volunteering, try to contact the head of the PTO/PTA. Short of that, go up the chain and speak to the Vice Principal or the Principal. I just started volunteering in the library at my son's school, after waiting almost a year to be presented with an opportunity. After speaking to the librarian about how hard it was to find something, she said that so many teachers are weary of reaching out to help since so many parents can be flaky. Many show up once, promise they will be back, & they never come back. She said it was basically a waste of time. Is that an excuse, no, but it might be an explanation as to why there is a lack of communication.

As for communication with the teacher in a general sense, a rule of thought that we were told not too long ago was, "that is what parent/teacher conferences are for. Personally, I think it is unacceptable for teachers to blatantly ignore parents once in a while emails and/or phone calls to ask questions about their child's education. That is my own personal opinion. I have never been able to make any headway in this area, so I can't offer any advice on this part.

Gifts, gift cards are great since they can choose whatever they deem fit for their classroom. Barnes & Noble is good, but what about a more local teacher resource store like Lakeshore. One teacher told me that the Dollar Tree was a great idea as is Scholastic Books.

Good luck to you! Having a child in public school these days is tough. Let us know what happens! :-)

Are you sure that you're in Tampa and not another city not too far, in a certain Science & Technology based elementary school....because it sounds just like my daughter's school...although I am in the school at least 1 day each week, + parties, field trips etc.

Hi T.,
I am an elementary school teacher on leave raising my toddler and I was surprised to read about the lack of communication going on at your child's school. Kindergarten teachers have an exhausting day that provides little time to sit down and respond to emails. Most do it during their quick thirty minute lunch or before/after school, providing they are not tied up in meetings or parent conferences. Most school guidelines give a teacher 48 hours to respond, as depending on the class size a teacher could have many lengthy parent emails. That being said, no response is unacceptable, and unprofessional. You should be commended for wanting to get involved in your child's school. The best education is one where the parents and teachers work together. Maybe you could try talking to her again in person and remind her that you'd really like to help out in the classroom on your free days. Good luck... And a gift certificate is always an appreciated and thoughtful gift .