Almost 9 Year Old Is Baby Talking

Ignore it and tell her "I cannot hear you when you talk like that." She's enjoying the attention (even though it's negative attention).

Dear P.,
Having younger twins can definitely have an adverse affect on you daughter. The younger twins get the attention and she feels awkward, I am sure.
I recently took a trip to a local township and their bulletin board listed a father/daughter dance for young ladies like your daughter's age. This is a wonderful opportunity for Dad and "his little girl" to spend some time together. It is really important that she goes into those teenage years knowing her confidence in both her parents. The other girls in her class could be a year older and more mature...
You also might want to consider charm school which will give her a sense of confidence of being ready for those teenage years. I had my 9 year old in charm school for about a year and I never regret it.
Being the oldest in the family can leave a young one a bit insecure with peers and she needs to feel good about herself. Otherwise, I would recommend a sport that she might continue in those teenage years.
Private time with Mom is great.....make it a shopping spree, or better yet....a cruise with the grandparents...this is the time that she needs to know that you care for her development to the next stage in her life.
Good luck,
E.

I know it drives you nuts, but try to ignore it and talk to her in big adult words. Or, fail to respond when she asks a question in baby talk -- she'll catch on and use big girl language because you will respond to that.

To figure out the why's, you have to re-run when it started. What was going on ? Did anything traumatic happen to her ? If not, then I'd just assume it's a phase and it's going to end. Surely her friends don't talk that way, and she'll catch on. Perhaps she's trying to be cute like the younger ones, so she'll get more attention. If you can separate yourself from them and give her some big girl attention, then maybe that will also help. ??

P.,

I have very vivid memories of being 9 years old. I had two things happen to me that made me begin baby talking and driving my parents insane. First, my baby cousin was born and he was getting a ton of attention. And second, I was TERRIFIED of growing older. I had, somewhere or somehow, heard of girls starting to "bleed" randomly when they got older, and not understanding the concept or the reason, was so scared that it was going to happen to me when I got older that my reaction was simply to begin baby talking.

I remember asking my mother if it was true that girls bled when they got older, and she confirmed it for me (she is a nurse) and that terrified me all the more. My mom tried to explain it to me, but I don't remember hearing the explanation because I was too distracted by the concept of bleeding! I was worried about whether it would hurt and all of that kind of stuff.

What I'm trying to say is that growing up is terribly frightening sometimes and the concepts that we, as adults, just accept and understand, can be overwhelming to someone so young. I doubt she even has the vocabulary to explain to you what is going on in her mind and emotions. She might not even be able to understand it herself.

I don't know when or how I stopped baby talking, but I do remember the irritation it caused my parents who just got plain fed up with me about it.

The other thing is that at 9, whether or not the body is showing any signs of puberty, her hormones ARE changing. The mood is the first indication of that, and the first thing I observed in my girls. I have also taught in the 4th grade classroom, and have observed that many children struggle at this age.

Another change that is going on is that she is leaving the stage where adults are her heroes. Most 5-8 year olds put adults they love upon pedestals and almost "worship" the ground they walk on. Indicators of this stage are when children say, "My teacher says..." or "My daddy says..." and whatever that adult says or does is like gospel. When a child approaches 9 and 10 years old, they start feeling holes is this philosophy. They might observe a mistake someone makes or note an inconsistency in a person's behavior and suddenly the person they once "worshiped" falls off their pedestal.

This is part of growing up, but it is so painful for the child. They feel devastated by the let down. It feels like they are losing something they had...even though what they are actually doing is gaining a better understanding of the world as it really is. This could explain the "meanness" you are speaking of toward her dad, in particular.

All of these reactions can add up to a reaction that she would rather be young again when life was simpler, easier, and people took care of her. She might not be able to verbalize this, but the baby talk could indicate it.

Have her talk about what it was like for her when she was little, what she remembers, what she liked about it. Also, bring up alot of benefits she now enjoys because she is older. And assure her that you will be there for her at every age and stage. Hopefully, some of this helps a little.

L.

I wouldn't worry too much but I know how annoying this can be. My 10 year old son started it about a month ago, like you said he had done it previously but it just stopped. Fortunately, he does not do it around other people except on occassion other 10 year old boys (which my husband and I can't understand). His is also coupled with whining. We yelled at him, we punished him, finally I got so frustrated that every time he talks in that voice, I say "excuse me" and keep saying it until he answers me in a normal voice. At first he got so frustrated after repeating himself so many times he walked away, its gotten a little better and I haven't said excuse me at all this week, yet. I also have tried to explain to him that he wants to do things that are more grown up but in order for that to happen he needs to act more like a 10 year old and the baby voice is not helping him. I think kids at this age are so unsure of their place, they want to be older kids but they still want the freedom of being little kids. I just try to make the growing up part fun so he won't feel the need to want to stay a little kid.

Hi P., As far as the babytalk goes, your best bet may be to refuse to listen to it. When we went though this with my youngest we just said: "i can't understand you when you talk baby talk." and we would not respond to her until she talked normally. As far as the moodiness, yes, she is starting into puberty even though you don't see any outward changes yet. With all three of my girls from age 9 until they started their peroids we went though a ton of moodiness, crying for no apparent reason, babytalk, etc. You might begin to notice that she wants to or needs deoderant soon, her hair might change (greasier between shampoos) some acne, etc. Hang in there...the fun is just beginning!

Hi, P.:

Your 9 year old has an unment need. Now, to find out what it is, that is the question.

Is she being treated differently than the boys?

Get help from your Doc, or child development center.

Always remember to be kind, she is still a child.

God bless you for caring. Good luck. D.

That would be annoying. I've noticed that girls tend to do that often. It may be getting re-enforced at school as well if other girls are doing it to be cute and funny. I'm sure it's all about trying to stay little, whether she realizes the reason or not.

I can only offer what I'd do. I would tell her flat out that it's annoying and for every time she talks that way I'd take something away or ground her. There's time and place for that. In her room when she's playing is perfectly fine. When she's with the rest of the family and the family finds it annoying, not an appropriate time. When the family is around extended family and/or friends and/or outside of the house, not an appropriate time. I would call it her "play voice" and it's fine to do in her room when she's playing. She's going to be turning 9 and needs to act like it when she's with others. I wouldn't forever ban it as it may be something she needs to do but there's time and place and she needs to understand that. There's also respect for others around her who find it annoying.

You're going to find many changes in her as time goes on. At this point, you will never have your little innocent girl back. That's not a bad thing. But the preteen stage is beginning to hit and she's trying to find who her new self is. I don't know who it's harder on, the child or the parent, lol. For me and my two older boys, it was always harder on me. I had to make a conscious effort to realize that these children were becoming men, even at 9 and 10 years old. Girls go through changes before boys do.

Be accepting of her new self as long as it stays positive. Set simple rules and expectations and if they're not met have simple and swift punishments to follow. Let her know ahead of time what the rules are, new or old, so there's no confusion. Write them down if necessary. Kids get good things when they do "good" things. Kids get bad things when they do "bad" things. You decide the good and bad things, and what the results will be.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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