Advice on Kids Sharing a Room.

Updated on April 20, 2010
E.A. asks from Los Angeles, CA
12 answers

I have 2 boys - one just turned 3 and the other is about to turn 1. Right now the baby is in our bedroom and the older son is in his own room.
I want them both in the same room so we can have our bedroom back! The baby still isn't sleeping through the night and that's why we haven't moved them in together.
I would like your advice on the best timing to put them together, and any suggestions on how I should go about doing this so we don't lose too much sleep!
Thanks!

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So What Happened?

I moved the baby into his big brother's room 2 nights ago and I can't believe how easy it was!!! Thank you so much for all your input, I had been too afraid to do it because I kept thinking of the worst case scenarios. The baby is definitely sleeping better and the older one doesn't seem affected by it at all, in face he tells me that he loves his baby brother in his room. :-)

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Why is he not sleeping through the night? Are you still night feeding? If so I would consider night weening soon. My doctor told me that babies no longer need night feedings after the first 10 days of life, that they do it because we train them too. Following that advice my boys have all started sleeping through the night before they hit 1 month old. Once you have him sleeping through the night and self soothing, then they can share a room. My boys started sharing a room when my oldest was 2 and the baby was 2 months, and it has never been a problem.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Our sons are 3.5 years apart. They started sharing a room once #2 was about 16 months old. We put him in the crib next to the bed and he could hear #1 breathing and it made him feel secure. He started sleeping through the night, right around then.

They are now 7.5 years old and almost 4. The have queen bunk beds and still they sleep on the bottom bunk together.

We also have daughter who can cry and neither one of them wake up.

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

OOOHHHH this is a tough one.

We have a 5-bedroom house. We moved my oldest son into his own room when he was 2 (my second was born then) when my youngest was 2, we were pregnant and due with #3 - we bought bunkbeds and moved them into the same room (one of our rooms is a den and the other is a guest bedroom DOWNSTAIRS).

We lost the baby at 20 weeks and still left them in the same room. We just separated them into their own rooms on 1 Jan - they started the year off in their own rooms.

I don't know your bedroom situation - I think it all depends on your space and how your children are.....if one is a great sleeper and one is not - keep them separate. If they are both great sleepers - keep 'em together!! Do what works for YOU!!

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

We live in a two bedroom house and had the baby in our room until he was five months old. He was starting to get too big for his cosleeper so we moved him into his sister's room.

Before moving him into her room, my daughter would sleep with her door closed in complete darkness and would wake anywhere from 1-3x a night - mostly just needing us to give her a kiss or retuck her in and sometimes she would get into bed with us.

After we moved my son into the room, her sleeping habits improved. We also started leaving the bedroom door open so she was not in complete darkness. She sleeps through MOST of his waking and crying. He still wakes up anywhere from 2-4 times a night. Sometimes it's just long enough for me to plug his binky back in. Other times I feed him or change his diaper. I think she has only woken up 1x when he was crying and that was shortly after she went to bed and wasn't asleep yet.

I think now is the time for you to move your children into the same room. I would not worry about sleep habits for the two - based on my experience, the sleeping got better for my older daughter! Just remember when your baby is in another room and waking up - you now have to get up and go into that room instead of just rolling over and checking on the baby.

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M.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

We put our girls together when they were 6 mos and 2 yrs old. They are 3 1/2 and 2 now. It has been fine for the most part. Occasionally they wake each other but usually the one asleep stays asleep. Maybe also time to cut down on night feedings a bit if they are more for baby's comfort than hunger. I know my first child wanted that 2 am feeding until about 14 mos though. And no, I don't think night feeding is unecessary after 10 days! Whoa, my kids were way hungrier than that! You can tell if they are hungry or just wanting you by how voraciously they eat. Pretty soon the kids actually love being together and comfort each other. If one isn't there the other is asking for her. You will have some rough nights at first I would guess, but it will pass.

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D.G.

answers from San Diego on

I was in the same predicament last year with my then one year old and five year old boys. The youngest was also not yet sleeping through the night. I decided to have them share a bedroom and it was the best decision for the family. In the last year, my boys have been sleeping through the night, keeping each other company, and have really bonded. There was a short period of adjustment, but they quickly adapted to their new surroundings/circumstances. After I close their door for the night, I hear them giggling and laughing for a few minutes before they fall asleep. I check on them before turning in for the night and they are fast asleep. In the mornings, I hear them giggling and laughing again, even before they come to my room to wake me up. It's great to see my little boys bond.

K.E.

answers from Birmingham on

Well, I think it might be best to wait until the baby is sleeping through the night, otherwise you might have them both waking up during the night! Once he's been sleeping through the night for a few weeks constantly, then I say go ahead! Good luck!!!!

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

Gosh, it sooo much depends on your kids! My older one was 3 1/2 when we moved them together, but she is a sound sleeper, so the waking at night was not too much of an issue for her. We redecorated the room to my 3 y.o. specifications so she would feel special and then moved them in together after we had painted. We got new sheets and changed the room all around just like big sister wanted. It went well, she was excited to have a pretty new room and everyone adjusted quickly.

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S.M.

answers from Visalia on

I wanted to move my 1 yr. old into my 2 yr. olds room but was afraid he would wake his brother up, since he wasn't sleeping through the night yet. So we just switched the kids. My 2 yr old came into our room until my 1 year old started sleeping through the night. It didn't take very long since he only stayed awake when he saw me. When he didn't see me there, he started staying asleep. Within a week they were in the room together and sleeping through the night.

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C.S.

answers from Houston on

I've read to put them in the same room from day one to help them get on the same nap and night schedule. That's what I did and it worked. Helps them bond... too.

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C.F.

answers from Chicago on

We recently moved our three month old into the bedroom with the two year old and they have been fine. The three month old sleeps from 10p- somewhere between 5a-7a. When the three month old cries between 5-7am, the two year old doesn't usually wake up. Maybe I have just been lucky, but the transition was pretty easy and neither the baby or the two year old seems to mind being in the same room together. Good Luck!

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J.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

We moved our twins from our room to their older sister's room when they were 6 months old and the older one was 5. There has never been a problem. The older one could probably sleep while a train went through her room! The twins, now 13 months, rarely wake at night and haven't for quite a long while now. Like someone else mentioned, when the twins were next to each other in the bassinet, one would be sound asleep while the other cried. Go figure. The older child will adjust and, unless he's a very light sleeper, might not wake at all. By the way, our older daughter insisted that the twins share her room.

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