Addadhd in Girls

ADHD has three forms;

ADHD-i
ADHD-h
ADHD-c

Inattentive
Hyperactive
Combined

I = hyperactivity is mental. The daydreamers, absent minded professors, writers, artists, scientists, etc.

H = the hyperactivity is physical. The athletes, dancers, military, explorers, etc.

C = combined. People with ADHD-c are both hyperactive physically and mentally.

HYPOfocus (distractibility), HYPERfoucus (intense concentration), stronger emotions (joys are over the moon, sadness is in tears) INTENSE emotions, but nowhere near as night and day as bipolar, and the ability to control them to a degree with practice (also completely different from bipolar disorder), giftedness, sensory issues, peculiar sense of time, difficulty transitioning, impulse control... These are all hallmarks of ADHD.

Girls TEND to be born with ADHD-i, and boys TEND to be born with ADHD-h, but anyone can be born with any of the 3.

It's NOT contagious.
It's NOT caused by
- parenting
- environment
- diet
- sleep
You don't grow out of it (although coping mechanisms can make it look that way, sometimes).

It's a brain disorder just like straight giftedness, dyslexia, etc. It runs (skips, hops, slides) in families / strong genetic component. Misdiagnosis happened frequently 'back when' (and occasionally now) by people who didn't understand the disorder at all (and just looked at hyper kids and lumped them all together) so a lot of malnurished, sleep deprived, badly parented kids were lumped in. These kids NEVER had ADHD (just like a tumor doesn't equal pregnancy... It's not like "Oh, I was pregnant until I had the tumor removed!", NOR "I had ADHD until I fixed my allergy/malnutrition, sleep, etc." it's as silly a parallel.)

Her friend will care deeper, hurt longer... ADJD types tend to be 'till death do us part' kinds of friends.

Her friend will not understand seemingly simple things, but instantly grasp complex things.

Her friend will most likely argue/debate more (not defiance, nor disrespect, but 1000 what ifs).

Her friend won't be running out in traffic, etc., unless she has lousy parents. The impulse control tends to be more along the lines of pushing boundaries on ALLOWED things (like climbing higher in the tree just to see if she can, blurting out things, wanting to play for 'just' 5 more minutes, etc.ADHD kids/adults are OVERLY aware of the world around them... Think of your sense of smell when pregnant, and imagine if that was sight, sound, touch, etc.)

Protect themselves from what?

Seriously?

You don't really need to KNOW anything. In fact, the mother didn't even really need to tell you. ADD and ADHD manifest differently in people, but really that is beside the point. Your child should simply be a friend. She doesn't need to be anything more. Your child isn't in danger. Feel better now? People behave differently, whether they have a diagnosis or not. You will rarely be privy to that information.

Stop listening to stereotypes!

I still can't sit still, it is just the type of ADHD you have. My older daughter, no one would have ever caught on she has it if she didn't tell you. She is amazing to me because as a child she understood and embraced every coping technique I learned as an adult. I think she hated her meds that much. :p

You do not need to protect yourself from anyone with ADHD. If she is exhibiting a behavior that causes you to fear her that isn't ADHD! Like my Andy, he has ADHD and PDD and a whole mess of other letters. I think Z is the only one not used in his diagnosis. :p He has a temper! It has nothing to do with his ADHD.

The biggest thing you can do to help them and you is don't attribute your reasons for doing things to why she is doing things. Like I forget things from time to time because my brain just didn't allow me access to the information to remember at the time I needed, it wasn't that I didn't care.

At least in my experience most frustration that happened with people with ADHD is people assuming they function the same and just don't try hard enough.

Hope this helps.

"protect themselves" It's not contagious

As a mom to a daughter diagnosed with ADD (mild inattentive), I have trouble understanding what you think you need to protect your child from. She tends to daydream and be forgetful, which ticks off her teachers and parents. She's loyal to her friends to a fault, kind and helpful, and totally wonderful. If you want to know trending behaviors for girls with ADD and ADHD, do a little research at the library, pediatrician's office, or on the web. But if your daughter has a "frenemy" who is (according to you) a crybaby brat (do you speak to your daughter about her that way???) who happens to have ADD or ADHD, I doubt the condition is the problem, but rather they have personalities that have created a love-hate relationship between them. But clearly, you have no idea what the mom has been going through and she shouldn't have shared this intimate information with you.

I have an Asperger daughter....there it's no need to "protect" her friends from her.....she won't hurt them nor can they catch it. If anyone needs to be protected, it's your daughters friend. The mom probably told you to explain the meltdowns out of embarrassment (lve been there)as these kids don't "look" different from your "normal" child. I no longer feel the need to explain my daughter to anyone, she is her own normal.

Added: she doesn't sound add to me....the tantrums and meltdowns sound more like asperger. My daughter didn't have playdates for that reason. I could barely get her to function let alone a friends mother. She needed to know exactly what was going to happen and when or we had a meltdown, she needed to be forewarned our we had a meltdown, she planned the playing out our we had a meltdown. She had meltdowns at other peoples homes because it wasnt consistent. She needed routine to going to a friends house here and there was not routine and shed have a meltdown. She was finally diagnosed at 10 and then we went to a gluten free casein free diet and that that helped her behavior improve drastically.

My eldest daughter, who is 11 years old, has ADHD-C (inattentive and hyperactive). She also has ODD. She's sensitive, emotional, A personality, talkative, bossy, kind, sweet, competitive, driven, unfocused, flaky and flighty, disorganized, highly intelligent, top of her class, always in motion even in her sleep, dramatic, bubbly, extremely social with EVERYONE, easily hurt feelings, swings back and forth between high and low self-esteem, energetic, excitable, moody, high with sibling rivalry, makes friends easily (out of strangers), personable, excellent memory but often scattered, messy room... oh my gosh I could go on and on.

In the middle of her 3rd semester of 6th grade we started her on Concerta, and within a week we started seeing improvements in her behaviors at home and school. Within two weeks her grades started to come back up almost to honors. She made honor roll for 4th quarter. She's more focused, happier, easier to get along with, still energetic and chatty and friendly... her core personality is the same. She's just more focused and is more capable of organizing and learning the skills of organizing. She wasn't receptive before. She's sleeping better too.

My middle daughter, who is 9 years old, has ADD-I (inattentive). She also has Sensory Integration Disorder, Autism, global learning delays, anxiety disorder, and other related health issues such as Seizure Disorder. Until a year ago when we started her on a non-stimulant ADD medication, tasks were much more difficult for her to even start at school let alone work on and finish. It's used in conjunction with a very specific anti-seizure medication, in a combination that's common in people with Autism, ADD, and Seizure Disorder and/or Migraine Disorder. It's harder to talk about her issues, though, because of what all else is involved.

The way you talk about this other 7 year old, a little girl who is the same age as my youngest daughter, just a little, little girl still... it breaks my heart. She could have sensory issues in addition to the ADHD. It's not really your business, although it was nice of her mother to tell you. I do suggest that you try to be compassionate to this child. ADHD is not pleasant for the person who has it.

this is what i found when i was looking into this for my 8 yr old.:

Possible Signs of ADHD in Girls

What are some of the red flags or warning signs that parents and teachers should be aware of related to girls and ADHD?

Difficulty maintaining and shifting focus
Easily distracted
Disorganized and “messy”
Forgetful
Difficulty completing tasks
Daydreamy
Slow to process information and directions (It may even appear that they aren’t hearing you)
Careless
Often late (poor time management)
Hyper-talkative
Verbally impulsive (blurts out, interrupts others)
Easily upset, over-reactive

I am still trying to figure things out with her, but it irritates me when people insult my child by calling her a crybaby etc. I know this doesn't tell you what you can do, but i hope it helps to understand that she may not be able to control the whining etc.

I understand what you are asking, that you want to continue letting your child play with this girl even though there are more frequent meltdowns and more difficulties than with other playmates. That's nice of you, some kids have trouble finding friends willing to have play dates! Please ignore people trying to make you feel bad for asking for advice. My advice would be not to use the term ADD with your daughter, my 7 yr old is very immature and I'd be afraid he'd repeat this diagnosis at school in front of everyone. Just tell your daughter that X has a problem that makes her more likely to cry over things, to get frustrated more easily and that daughter will have to be patient to be a good friend. This girl probably has poor impulse control, which can make her appear younger, as in she thinks of doing something and does it while another child her age might stop and think better of it. Or see something to eat and not stop to ask permission. Let your daughter know this is hard for her friend and she might have to be the one to say "wait does your mom let you..?" This could be very empowering and wonderful for your daughter to learn to deal well with children who are different than she is.

Are you sure she has ADD or ADHD? You describe has as a cry baby and no that isn't part of the disability. You mentioned that she has tantrums and that sounds more like she knows how to get her way.

I'm often a bit weary when I hear kids being diagnosed with it because often it could be something else and sometimes it is in fact ADHD or like symptoms of it based on how they are raised.

I have ADD. I am not hyperactive at all just the complete opposite but my mind wonders like anyone else and I am easily distracted and I fidget a lot. Now my best friend growing up has ADHD and she was ALL over the place. I was often the mastermind and would come up with ideas to do something. I was never brave enough to do it but she was.

Hyperactive could have been her middle name. There were other problems with her that I won't go into but no she wasn't a cry baby. Her parents were strict with her and tried to keep her reign in as much as possible. When she showed a negative behavior they didn't give in to her and didn't reward it.

It makes me wonder if this girl is rewarded for her bad behavior.

I'd just talk to your daughter about this girl. Ask her if the girl's behavior upsets her in any way or if it even bothers her. If it doesn't great, let it be. If it does talk to her about it. The only thing I'd watch out for it your daughter displaying some of the same bad behavior because she sees her friend doing it.

Maybe she's just a crybaby brat (though I don't typically call kids names). I don't think ADD justifies any type of behavior in a child.

But she's someone else's kid, so there's nothing you can do, except set rules that she has to follow while she's in your house. If the girl has a meltdown in your house, send her home. If she knows that's the consequence, she just might be able to control herself, ADD or not.

Okay, 3 of 4 daughters have adhd. they are 9, 7, 5 and 4. I have adult add and my husband had some add and depression issues as a teen, not as much now, but he does have issues with patience sometimes.

It isn't want they eat (they hardly EVER have sugar and never have caffeine and drink lots of water and we eat mainly organic and have our multi vitamins... etc...).

They are wild sometimes... well, MOST times and get antsy easily (however, in a setting with other kids, they are happy enough to control themselves well and tantrums aren't even an issue- i would NOT tie that into the ADD thing!) However, the two oldest love books and are able to focus on those quite well (because they LIKE them so much), and in school they are able to function without trouble mostly-although if my 7 year old is NOT being stimulated in class (meaning, learning something new or being challenged), she starts letting her mind wader offf and gets in trouble as a result. Oldest makes straight-A's and second oldest makes what the equivalent would be to straight-A's. both are in gifted programs. My youngest is a wild maniac, but very sweet. They are ALL fine when we help them direct their endless energy. the youngest has QUITE a talent for gymnastics.

ADD has NEVER interfered with their friendships. EVER. You barely would know the difference if at all. My kids have also not caused any other kid's parents to "work harder" at having them over or anything. We work QUITE WELL with them in using their energy for positive things and we keep them stimulated/interested at home- learning seems to be a great solution for them. Thankfully, they enjoy that. i will say, though that they don't have severe cases of ADHD/ADD. It is moderate to mild for them.

That is my personal experience. We do not medicate. We cope and direct the energy. Since I have it myself, they have understanding from me and my husband know first hand what medication can do (NUMBS YOU and only makes things worse and even if it doesn't, nothing is EVER fixed, only masked). He tried a few different kinds of meds as a kid for his ADD and depression.

ADDED: Add/adhd does NOT mean one is stupid or immature. Not saying you directly said that, but it is MORE of an inside personal struggle than anything else. My oldest plays the guitar and piano, is a great girl scout(loves volunteering for the homeless and is the most energetically cute salesgirl and works VERY HARD) and reads at least 3 chapter books a week....

My second oldest has such a creative and really funny and unique sense of humor, plays the drums and reads a lot as well, she is the most popular girl in her class (I'm telling you this because it does NOT have to effect someone socially) and is SUCH an awesome artist.

You will notice that I don't talk a lot on here (if at all... i don't kknow if I've mentioned it before in the over a hundred things I've said on here)about them having adhd.. because it isn't a big issue and most importantly it is NOT an "excuse" we have for bad behavior. Just mentioning it cause you seemed VERY uniformed of what it really is.

Well, my first response is .. I think she might be getting overstimulated and does not know how to handle it?

Try giving her yogurt, and have her drink it through a straw? Frozen furit bars also seem to setlle them down.

I am not sure I would call that ADHD? But I know my son has sensory issues and he gets overstimulated and we need to help him settle down. etc.