8Yr Old Girl That Turned 16Yrs Old

There is a school of thought that says that children in part become who we tell them they are--so you might try going out of your way to notice other things about your daughter--or to redefine her attitude in a new way. If she thinks of herself as a kid "born" with an attitude then she has every reason to believe that doesn't need to change her behavior because she was born that way. You might try giving her a new definition of herself--what other role does she play in the family--and focus on that rather than on her attitude. It's worth a shot if you've tried everything else. Good luck!

Sounds like to me that if she is being sassy to you and not obeying....she looses her privilages. Period. You need to regain your authority. Sounds like to me that she has been a challenge from the beginning, but what did you do in the beginning to discipline her? What happened? What caused you to loose your control with her? I think you need to get back to basics. I am afraid if you don't get a handle on her - it will be chaos later down the road.

I have 2 kids that are like that! They test their dad more then me. I tell them that as long as they talk sassy to me I will not listen to them. If they don't do what I ask them to , they have a choice do it noe or sit on the stool until you are ready to do it. And make sure they do it. My son who is 5 has a key phrase I use when he knows I am serious, When I get to the point of say "Alexander James front and center" He knows that arguing. Also as a preschool teacher I have told many of children that it is not a choice and I was not asking you to do it. Children need to know that no is not always an option.I also tell them, and my own kids, its your choice to either have fun and follow directions or be in trouble, make a choice. It gives them some control.

Sometimes the stress of the day builds up at school and then is released in the "safe" environment... at home.
When my son was young, I figured out what works for me. I try as much as possible to be neutral in volatile situations, like Switzerland. Calm, not overly reactive, asking questions, or saying how you feel. "I' messages. Cooperation, understanding, negotiation, all these things helped us navigate childhood together. Humor, too. Not "obey", but be helpful. Talk about the things under the surface. I think you'll find that maybe the great person she is outside the home is also bottling up her emotions and fears. Guide her to express herself in ways that don't hurt peoples' feelings. A journal about what happened that day might help. Then read it together and talk. I know this may sound unrealistic, but if you spend the time now, you will be so rewarded later.

One thing that I did and it was successful with my very emotional and testy daughter (much like yours) was to separate which anger was legitimately against me, or someone in the house. If it wasn't, say...I hat to learn to stay out of it...I one time told her (when she was yelling about everything) to go yell at the tree, and then I took a picture of her. (I have lots of pictures of her yelling at things.)

The biggest thing that helped me deal with the teen years was sports (multiple). She got into sports and was so tired she couldn't talk back and what with the homework life was better.

I love the book John Rosemond's Six Point Plan for Raising Happy Healthy Children. He explains what kids need to be happy, including appropriate discipline, chores, respect, etc. You can learn more about him at his website www.rosemond.com. He advocates traditional parenting (not new age psychobabble).