6 Yr Old Daughter Has a Lot of Anxiety, Poop Issues and Now Not Eating

Updated on July 14, 2014
S.C. asks from Little Rock, AR
6 answers

I have a 6 yr old daughter who, from an early potty training age, had a fear of pooping and would hold it. Turned into a lot of anxiety when she reached pre-school, would cry and make up excuses as to why she was upset but really, was holding it. She said it would hurt. Her pediatrician put her on Miralax and it helped for awhile but she would still hold it until she would get home but crying fits would subside. Over a year went by and we managed the poop issues but now, we recently went on vacation in which she got a stomach bug and threw up/ had diarrhea. She went 4 days without eating out of fear of getting sick, had a lot of visible signs of anxiety. Now that we've been back from vacation for several weeks, some of the eating has gotten better but the mood swings are back and she cries a lot when it comes time to eating and I can now tell she is back to holding it, when needing to poop. She states she fears it will either be diarrhea or it will hurt, so now we have that on top of becoming a very picky and sometimes avoidance eater. Any suggestions on how to help her with this or anyone go through this with their child? Is this common? Just at our wit's end and want her to get back to feeling more like herself and not so afraid.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

My grandson, a bright and happy 8yo in so many ways, has always showed a leaning toward anxiety (it runs on both sides of the family, so partly, it's just this kid's genetic makeup). In recent months, he almost stopped eating over fear of choking, and he's a pretty skinny guy to start with. He's now been evaluated and is having a treatment plan set up with a team of MD, speech and swallowing therapists, plus a psychologist. Thank God they've got decent insurance, or all of this would be quite impossible.

This may be serious enough that you and your child will need help finding your way through a maze of baffling behaviors and fears back to a healthier baseline. Your daughter is already stuck, and it sounds like you are, too. If you have adequate insurance, I'd start there.

One other thing we have scheduled for my grandboy is a session of EMDR (a simple, non-invasive technique that can significantly defuse emotional problems brought on by a traumatic event, like choking or fear of pain.) It's effective for many soldiers suffering PTSD and is approved and used by many Veterans hospitals. Some insurance plans cover it. It is reported to be very quickly effective for children, and might be a gentle way to help your daughter conquer her fears. You can google this for lots of information.

Wishing your family the best!

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I would put her back on Miralax. My son went through something similar and we went off the Miralax and the pain/anxiety/fear came back. Also, have her sit on the toilet for a few minutes after every meal. That may get her running regularly again. Sit with her and read her a story or play with stickers or tell her a story. Make it no big deal but something that HAS to be done.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I might consult with the pediatrician. Even little ones can have anxiety (over many things). Maybe he/she can give some advice for helping her manage the anxiety - or even refer her to a counselor to help. Best of luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Milwaukee on

Some kids with OCD can fixate on an anxiety producing issue and then other non productive behaviors develop around it. Im not saying she has it but you may want to read a little about it and talk to your pediatrician.
Good luck, I hope she's ok.

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M.O.

answers from Dallas on

It's very common for kiddos to have transient bouts of anxiety that bring on all sorts of issues. Just like adults, anxiety can be triggered by stressful events and lack of sleep or nutrition.
Unlike adults, more anxiety issues in kids are not diagnosed as an illness or disorder (like OCD, mentioned by one of the other posters) because kids tend to go through periods of anxiousness, especially in elementary school.

The stress of sickness while being away from home could have brought up the issues she's talking about. It's awesome that she's talking to you about it, and it gives you the chance to normalize the whole diarrhea/hurt fear. You can try to do that with empathy, like: "Oh, I remember that happened to me once and it was awful. I remember my stomach cramping and just being scared and hurting. I had a hard time eating again after that too."

Then ask her how she would go about 'fixing' it: "What do you think would help you?" and if the opportunity arises, offer up suggestions that may have worked for you personally in the past, like: "I remember my mom always told me to eat bananas and rice and applesauce when I had stomach and potty problems, and that helped a lot. Do you want to try that?"

Other than that just trying to keep everything as stress-free and routine as possible might get her back on track. If she is truly not eating and holding it for days, then I would definitely call the pediatrician.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Take her to the pediatrician. First, to rule out medical issues and then to ask about getting psychological help for her. I suggest her anxiety has gone on too long. I suggest it's worsening. She needs professional psychological support.

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