6 Year Old Son Related Question

He's a boy. It is so hard for them to sit still at 6. They should be getting hands on learning and lots of manipulatives.

Sometimes I think we have it all backwards. Is it he who cannot fit the mold or the professionals who cannot see outside the box?

If you have him tested for any number of "learning disabilities" they may come back all too quickly with ADD. Here you go mom, now medicate him so he sits like a zombie in the teacher's class and is a good boy.

I homeschool, mine is in 5th and still can't sit still for more than 30 minutes or so and I still have to give him recess. He is not ADD, just boy.

It sounds like he could have sensory Processing disorder. If you look that up or read "The Out of Sync CHild" that may help you.
It is a real issue and there is help . Find a therapist who is certified.
Besty Willaims at Top Pediatric Therapy or Integrative Pediatric Therapy can help.
LC

Talk to your pediatrcian about getting a private assessment done. His behavior may be typical for boy this age, or it might be adhd or some other similar condition. What is certain is if teacher is complaining it's only a matter of time before the school suggests the same.

There is a Federal law that requires school districts to provide an assessment of any condition that interferes with learning. Ask his teacher if this is serious enough for them to provide such an assessment.

My granddaughter was this way on into 4th grade. The school provided an assessment for her, diagnosed her with ADHD and she has an IEP. (Individual Education Plan). Reluctantly her mother eventually followed her pediatrician's advise and put her on medication. Doing so has worked out well. The IEP provided her with extra help in reading and writing, both subjects she was having difficulty with which caused her to not focus when those were being taught during class.

My grandson was also evaluated by the school district and is in a special school for children with more than just attention issues. There are 6 students in his classroom. He has several possible diagnosis. He makes strange hand movements. He talks to his invisible buddies which does distract him from listening in class. HIs teacher includes his buddies in the class routine. ie. "tell your friend to sit down and listen." This helps him do the same. I don't know if this is similar to your comment about "he will make hand movements."

If your son is doing well academically he might not qualify for an assessment. The school may see it as just a behavior issue. You can still talk with his pediatrician. Who may be able to give you suggestions on how to change his behavior.

I would ask the teacher what it is that you can do to help him settle down. Surely this isn't the first student who has acted this way in class.

Is he able to sit still for short periods of time at home? If not start with teaching him how to do that at home. Does he sit and complete his homework? That might be a good place to start. Try different approaches until you find one that works.

Another thing that helps my grandson is to give him something to manipulate during class so that he doesn't have to just sit and focus on the subject. A small squishy rubber ball, silly putty, a marker to draw on paper. He is also allowed to chew gum because experts have found that often helps students to focus. It's all related to sensory issues.

We expect an unreasonable amount of sitting in one place. It is not how kids learn best and it promotes obesity. There are a number of schools looking at much more movement in elementary school classes - some are doing standing desks - it is really a systemic problem and yet we label the kids.

You might look into a Montessori or Waldorf school. Both expect children to engage in movement during the day and not to sit in one place for prolonged periods. How often does the teacher have the kids get up and move? - when I was little we often did jumping jacks in place - an experienced teacher often has lots of tricks for teaching.

Hmmm. Sounds like my son. I also get feedback from my son's teacher that he touches things, makes sounds in class, has a hard time calming down after recess, talks to friends... I'll be interested to see what your responses are.

So far, I'm am feeling like my son is just immature. (He's on the younger end of his class.) And he's also a high energy, creative boy. I don't think there's anything "wrong" with him. I also feel like school has just begun and it may take some time for him to get his feet under him and learn the expectation in the classroom. I know that not all boys are this way, but I don't think it's out of the norm either. Having said all of that though, your post isn't very specific and of course it's hard for all of us to tell exactly what behaviors he's having and what it might all mean.

I would have a meeting with his teacher and determine what kind of positive reinforcement procedures she has, how she communicates with your son and try to come up with a plan of action to help him be successful in class.

Good luck!

I agree with J L, talk to your pediatrician and proceed from there, if two consecutive teachers have noticed and commented the school will soon request an assessment. He may simply be immature, so don't worry.

My son is very similar to yours. Although he's just 3 and in a montessori, I get reports from his teacher that he loves to roam around and is really in his own world. Apart from that minor thing (oh yes I call it minor), he is really sharp and talented. So I will wait for this phase to get over just like his teacher suggests and wait for him to mature a little bit. I wouldn't rush to label him anything. Maybe the Montessori system might help your son as someone suggested.

Hi S., I too went through the same things. My son eventually grew out of it but I heard the same story year after year until 6th grade. He is now 15 and manages much better now. I had the teachers put him at the back of the class and ask that they not draw attention to his actions unless he was bothering someone else. He wasn't loud be he moved a lot. He too would be lost because he would only hear some of the directions due to not paying attention to her. I know it wasn't ideal but I truly believed he did not need medication. A lot of the kids did shun him so I was worried about his self confidence but there were also kids that were friends with him. He is now in several High School Honors classes. What we did do is make sure that his diet had as least preservatives as possible and created a strict regiment at home of getting up exactly the same time, eating at the same time, bath at the exact same time, etc. All of these were his responsibility to follow. It was quite the boot camp at first but he fell into line quickly, at least at home. I just wanted to chime in to let you know that it is possible to get better with time. I agree that you should visit the doctor but get several opinions before you choose your method of treatment. Wishing you and your family much success!

First off, I know it's super hard, but don't panic. I'm giving you this side of the scale, where your child could be totally opposite of the scale, or he could be somewhere in the middle. I do NOT give this out lightly or with judgement. You choose what is best for your family & that's all that matters. No one thing works for everyone. Again, I'm only giving you my opinion based on what you have described & my experience with this subject. It does not mean in any way, shape or form that I think he is or isn't "labeled" anything, meds or no meds, just my ideas. I could be 100% wrong, 100% right, but probably somewhere in the middle. PLEASE don't bash me for stating my opinion. She asked for help & I'm giving suggestions. I respect your opinions, even if I don't think they are correct, it's your life, your child & your decisions. He sounds like he might be ADHD or even some form of Autism. Asperger kids tend to super focus on something & they become experts at it & can tell you everything about it, to the point that they can become very upset, cry, anger, when the object of their focus is not readily avaliable. You said he will make some hand movements. Does he not verbalize at all? If not, then I would say with 75% accuracy, he is autistic to some degree. Alot of kids who are ADHD, Autistic, Aspergers, which fall under the PDD (Pervasive Development Disorders) are actually ahead of their peers in academics, so they can be bored in class. You couple that with the inattention, impulsiveness, having your hearing, smell, taste & sense of touch hightened to a degree of uncomfort for them & it's incredibly hard for them. Imagine having all your senses turned up to the maxium. You can hear the person across the room tapping their pencil, you can actually feel the breeze across your skin, the teachers perfume is burning your nose & the waistband of your underwear feels like sandpaper. Then think of this all being at once & your required to sit quietly & do your work. Pretty hard stuff for anyone to handle.. The social aspects, the focus, sitting still, need for continual prompts to stay on task, only eating certain things, clothing can really bug them, the line of the socks, the collar on a shirt, long sleeves, buttons, decorations that stick up on clothing, all of these things can feel painful to them. Does he like things to be a certain way in his room, on his bed, on his plate, same cup, lines up things? All classic Autistic/Aspergers signs. Does he walk on his tippy toes, clumsy, drools when concentrating on something, does he have any vocal or physical tics (clearing his throat, grunting, blinking, rocking, rubbing a particular spot, flap his hands (picture acting like a seal, arms together & hands flap back & forth. Does he sleep less than "normal", doesn't pick up on social cues or body language. Does a change in the normal schedule really throw him off or really upset him? All these things I'm mentioning are PDD signs, specifically Autism/Aspergers. ADHD has some of these symptoms, but not the severity & are more about inattention & hyperness. The good news is, that you are catching this early, if it's the case. Talk to the teachers & ask them to screen him for ADHD. Their test results can help you, if they indicate ADHD or more. Then your child becomes available to extra assistance. I would also tell you to NOT rely totally on the school. They can & only will do so much. You really need to know what you can & can't ask for as far as accomendations for your child & the schools can't afford all the things your child may need. It can be a real battle to get the schools to do things, but research his rights in special education regarding whatever or if any diagnosis is given. The FIRST thing I would do is find a child Psychatrist with knowledge about ADHD/PDD. They can diagnose, treat, point you to the right direction, help you with getting help at school & mostly make things better for your child. Of course, med's are typically required to treat these conditions, but if your against that, then that's a decision you have to make. It's your child & you have to live with the choices you make about this & as long as you feel in your heart that you are making a well informed & thought out decision, you can't ask for more. I won't get into debates about no meds vs. meds. That's a personal decision & I respect any of the choices parents make about the care & well being of their children. 99% of us only want great things for our kids & no one can tell us what that is or isn't. I'd also get online & start educating yourself about these possible issues. You may find that your child doesn't meet any or meets all of the typical symptoms. Don't be afraid of a label. We all have labels, the S. one, the quiet one, the rowdy one, the sweet one, the stubborn one, the schools are full of these "labels." If the "label" HELPS your child get the SERVICES he NEEDS, then who cares! To me, it just shows that the "labeled" child is working very, very hard to overcome & work with his best abilities in a more difficult environment, that they can't control, than any other student in the same building. I live in the D/FW area, so if you wouldl ike to contact me privately, please feel free to do so at ____@____.com I hope I didn't scare you too much. I know it's overwhelming, scary, sad, anger, disbelief & total chaos in your mind & heart right now. Just remember he's your son, you love him no matter what & YOU are his best advocate. I hope this helps you in some way. M.

Please consider having him tested for Gifted & Talented. Many GT kids exhibit ADHD symptoms simply because of asynchronous development. They are also the ones who can focus for hours on something they like. Some learn better when they are moving around. It's really important to know if he's GT before treating any ADHD with drugs as that is detrimental to your wonderful absent minded professor! Visit www.hoagiesgifted.org.

Also, has he ever had strep? Some children are predisposed to a reaction to strep wherein the body creates too many strep antibodies and they attack the part of the brain that controls movement, causing tics and chorea (arm/leg/body movement). P.A.N.D.A.S can also cause OCD. visit www.pandasnetwork.org

If it is intefereing with the flow of the classroom or he is not able to learn then it must be addressed. If it isn't then the teacher can let him do what ever he needs to do. If the other kids watch him and start not doing their work then it is distracting them.

See what she wants you to do. He may need to see someone to do some evaluations, the school must supply this free. They have a school psychologist who is qualified to do evaluations and may even be able to formally make a diagnosis.

I am pretty direct. I would sit down with the teacher and ask her what she recommends or why is she telling me this? does she need my help, does she recommend he get tested for something or did she just want me to know.
sometimes we are told things about our children by teachers to see if this is something just school based or if they do at home, too.
If you are worried about it (before or after you speak with teacher) chat with your child's physician.

I really like Smartgirl's answer. My son has Asperger's and has many of the same traits. He started reading early, is advanced in many areas of school. He is obssessed with some sort of electronics (computers, etc) and has been since he was young. On the other side, my son has trouble following directions and doesn't understand what is expected of him in social and even classroom settings.

My son is now 9, but I've known that he was "different" since he was 2. If you suspect a problem (I think your teachers do), ask for a full autism evaluation. I know this sounds like overkill, but it is the best way to get the most detailed evaluation possible. If he is not on the spectrum, then you can move on knowing that is not the issue, if he is, then you can start dealing with it. Earlier is much better than later no matter what!

All I can say is follow your instincts! If you have more questions, please message me and I can share more with you!

He sounds like a child with a wonderful imagination! He is ahead academically and probably just day-dreaming because he's just bored. Just because he doesn't fall into the robot category that our wonderful school systems expect every child to be doesn't mean anything is wrong. I wouldn't do anything with this information-just relish in your son's imagination and writing talent! God Bless!

Based on the limited information, I am betting your son is GT. I highly suggest you get him tested. And there are GT resources which I won't re-list since I saw many of them mentioned in another response.

My now 16 year old daughter is GT. And she is a restless learner and always has been. She learns better my moving. When she was younger, any time she would get excited she would shake her hands (she slowly outgrew this habit). And she has always been obsessive about things that interest her; when she was younger it was dinosaurs, then the Titanic, etc.

Unfortunately most teachers consider this need to move to be disruptive to their class. But there is a lot of evidence that suggests we do our children a disservice by forcing them to sit still during learning.

Anyway, reach out to the head of your school district's Gifted & Talented program and get the ball rolling. There are many challenges that come with GT children, because often the GT students have conditions such as Asperger's/autism, so getting on top of it now will make him successful for the future.

That sounds like my son to a T! From the time he was in Kinder, his teacher said those things and they still do to some level. My son is 10 and was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD earlier this year. He is not on meds, we opted to keep him off the drugs as long as possible. My son has also been recommended for the GT program 3 times, each time not meeting their standards.

Someone mentioned below that some kids that exhibit ADHD symptoms really just need to be in GT, however let me clarify something. Tons of kids that are ADHD should be in GT and are beyond smart.

My son is similar to the description of your son, and now receives physical therapy for Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). My son is not on the autism spectrum and does not have ADD/ADHD. His brain simply has trouble processing everyday senses. Many kids with autism or ADD/ADHD also have this sensory disorder. There is a wonderful checklist at www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-di... that helped us understand that this was the problem for our son. Our pediatrician diagnosed him, and now we go to Excel Pediatrics in Rockwall for physical therapy. So far we've had therapy for six months, and are seeing MAJOR improvements. SPD is very complex, and we are constantly learning how is manifests in our son. I second the book "Out of Sync Child". It is an excellent resource for SPD.

My now 7 yr old went through very similar situations last year in 1st grade. After multiple meetings with his home room teacher, assistant principal, and guidance counselor the counselor suggested having him evaluated for ADHD. I was very reluctant at first, but after finding out that our pediatrician is also an ADHD specialist (He has taken extra schooling and frequently attends seminars) I submitted. What a life changing diagnosis (for the better!!!) There are several different degrees/types of ADD & ADHD. Our treatment plan is working very well.
I do suggest going to a professional who specializes in these type of diagnoses. I was fearful of my child becoming a statistic. A doctor who understands the disorders will not just prescribe medication and send you on your way.... Best wishes to you & your son!

Boys want to be told what to do and some have absolutely no initiative. They will only put forth effort towards anything they want for that moment, not what they need to do. That's why alot of them grow up and expect their wives to turn into their mothers.