3 Yr Old with ADHD?

Wow I feel for you, 1) How do you keep up with 4 children, and house stuff? 2) And your support system(husband)is gone a lot, so that will drain you in every way and the kids will play off of your weakness and your husband's absence. 3)Have you thought about a nanny, esp. a live in since you have 4 children, after all, you are only 1 person!!! 4) Does your adhd child go to therapy sessions? And I know you don't like the medicine that's he's on, but if he needs it to handle being around others, you have to take the good with the bad. Or you could see what other med's they have available for him to try? Try to involve that child as a helper, unless he likes to be an observer instead? It would help if you and him alone could spend time t/g, he may act out just for that? It's attention too them weather it's - or +!!! I use to be a preschool teacher and I have seen it all I truly think, so I hope this info will help you, good luck & t/c Jules:)

M. -

My heart goes out to you so much. You really have your hands full. I know you are so frustrated with your son and it is so hard to love him - he is challenging you severely. I know you can meet his challenges. It may take time but do not give up on him. He needs you more than ever to help him find some peace and find ways to cope. I cannot imagine how it must be in his little mind and body, to cope with what is going on - as he is acting out so much - he must be so very uncomfortable in his own skin.

First, there is an excellent book on these severely challenging children - please go and order it through amazon. It is called "12 Ways to COPE with a Challenging Child" A guide to Indigo/ADD/ADHD Children, by Jennifer Sue Kamish - this woman covers everything possible and I think just having this book will make you feel so validated in so many ways. This writer had a son who sounds so much like yours and she talks about every possible issue that came up for their family and how to handle these very special children. It's all in there.

And, find out from you doctor how you can get your son properly/officially and completely tested. Get him scheduled for the testing immediately - It will give you lots of information and explanation for many of his behaviors - the book will tell you all about so many key disorders that go along with the extra challenging ADD/ADHD kids - there are sometimes several as in your son's case. The more info you have, the more you can work this out. I cannot say enough about this book - It is remarkable.

And, in my opinion - you are his mom and you know him well. Get him off that medication and try another. Every child's chemistry is different and your son may need a very different medication to help him. Also, the book will teach you to teach your child many ways to cope so that he can get off the medication eventually and manage himself, with your help.

Hang in there and know that you will get to a better place with your son - a managable place with him. And you will find love and joy with him again, as will all family members.

Alli

Nutrition is oh so important. My family eats very well (no artificial junk esp dyes and sweeteners.) My oldest daughter was so horrible, though, I was considering putting her on meds. But then we went on the gluten-free diet and she is so much better! Not perfect, but there is definitely an improvement. I really like the book The Kid Friendly ADHD Autism Cook Book- it does a good job of explaining food sensitivities in our special kids.

I would find a professional that sees autistic/ADHD kids a lot. He/she should be able to tell you if there does seem to be a problem. A pediatric neurologist is often a good source for this kind of testing. ADHD is believed to be on the autism spectrum (don't be worried, nothing to be worried about, remember you are trying to make your family much happier, so good treatment is what counts, not just a diagnosis.) The speech delay and behaviors would indicate autism. Several people said 3 is too young to diagnose ADHD. I don't know, but I do know that it is entirely possible and necessary (so you can get good therapy) to diagnose autism before three.

Did ECI test your son for sensory integration dysfunction? My oldest daughter was in ECI for a year and a half before I found out about SID and had their OT see her. Yep, she has SID. So does two of my other children. Why didn't ECI figure this out before? Because the therapists are not diagnosticians. I thought having ECI evaluate my children was enough, but I was so wrong!

I do hope that you find the answers you seek.

S. (mom to four girls, two with classic autism and two asperger syndrome)

My aunt is a biologist and my couin (her son) was also diagnosed with adhd. She refuse to put him on the meds because they were not "natural". She did however find something at an herbal shop that she could give him that calmed him down a great deal and there was no mood swings. She also watched very closely what he ate. She actually did a study and found out that if you cut out certain sugars and dyes that you can control ADHD with simple diet changes. Fish oil to is proven to calm children down naturally there is no taste to it you just mix it with juice. you can find it at the health food store.

M.,

Hi my Name is M. my sister Esther replied to your message earlier and fowarded me you message. My son Jason is ten years old when he was in kindergarden he would sit on top of his desk and scream or refuse to do his work and would be ugly to his teacher, I dismissed his behavior as him adjusting to school and just being a trouble maker, but with time things got ALOT worse, mind you he got diagnosed with ADHD in 3rd grade, he has been suspended from school given saturday detention and now he was transfered to an alternative school because the school could not handel his behavior he was very violent to other childeren, I finally decided to take him to a physchiatrist and she put him not only on medication for his ADHD (aderall XR) but also on a mood stableizer (Abilify) and on an Antidepressant because he was feeling depressed and had suicidal thoughts because he did not understand why he acted the way he does. It was very hard to hear that my son was thinking about killing himself over this!!! the Physciatrist said if he was diagnosed early and had been on his medication all this while most likely I would not be going through all this now! I know its hard to have your 3 year old child on medication but, you just need to find the right on for him! I know EXACTLY how you feel I have been there and is still struggling with a beautiful INTELLIGANT 10 year old boy! dont lose faith and I hope my story has helped you at least to know that you are not alone!
My the Lord be with you and your son I will pray for you and him

-M.-

M.,
I feel for you so much. I am a teacher of special education and a mom of four. Right now I am working one on one with a little boy who sounds exactly like your little boy. He is very agressive, cannot sit still, cannot follow directions and is basically out of control. He is very bright and really deep inside sweet but he cannot control himself. We recently had Brighton come to the school where I teach and evaluate him. He was also diagnosed with ADHD and they felt that he had some red flags for Opositional Defiant Disorder but that he was way to young to diagnose with that yet. Is the pre-school where your son goes supportive of you son's issues? If not, and he has a definite diagnosis, he would qulify for services in the public school system in a PPCD class. That is for special needs children ages 3-5. I did my student teaching in that area and it is so effective for these little ones with problems. I would continue to follow some the advice in these posts about modifications in diet and exercise and discipline and I would truly use meds as a last resort. I know that you are frustrated but please believe that your little boy is an amazing little gift to this world and that he has an amazing potential to be a spectacular adult. Especially as you are working on this while he is so little. Early intervention is truly the key for success! Good luck and keep you chin up girl! You are doing a great job!

My husband works with kids and one of his favorite books to recommend is No More Ritalin by Dr. Mary Ann Block (http://www.blockcenter.com/). Dr. Block has a practice in Dallas and we have some friends whose children have been treated there. The difference is remarkable! Our friends' son was dangerously close to being diagnosed as bipolar at six years of age! Before they put him on any medication, they went to Dr. Block. He was sensitive to wheat and gluten. They changed his diet (and his brothers' diets) and he is a new kid. It's completely amazing.

I agree with many of the other moms - try any and everything you can before you medicate.

What about changing his diet? Remove diary/yeast/sugar from his diet. Read Jenny McCarthy's book A Mother's Journey to finding a cure for Autism. I know you said your son was diagnosed with ADHD but in Jenny's book she talks about her son's diet and when she changed it, his behavior changed for the better. Also, maintain a structured/disciplined environment. I read somewhere that ADHD children should have limited television/movie access because of the "stimulation". Give him books and put him in time out for three minutes. A minute per age. Do not back down from a punishment. No means no. Good luck.

M.,

I feel like I just looked into my own past here. So many things you just listed was me (at witts end), my husband(worked in the oil field, okay offshore)when the kids were that age, and our son diagnoised at age 4.....BY A SPECIALIST.

At that time in our life we lived in Lake Jackson. Our daughter/first born, and son/last child, Due to stress on my part. I thought I couldn't bring another child into this world if I could control him, so I had my tubes tied. NO JOKE.

This story could be really long so I will try very hard to give the shortest version. Okay here goes.......

I taught Mothers Day Out, 2 and 3 yr.olds. By the time our son was that age, I knew he was different and had some major issues with hyperness. After all I was an ADHD kid myself. So many people would tell us "it's only because he is a boy" and being that my husband nor myself had brothers when we grew up tought "well maybe" but what about all those 2 and 3 yr. olds I had taught for so many years. Most of them where boys and none compared to my son.

Now given the time our son was sick alot...normal things ear achs, sore throats, runny nose ect....but always. The pedi. Dr. sent us to an ear,nose,and throat Dr. who wanted to take out his tonsils....however we were about to move for my husbands job and insurance was about to change..so we didn't do it.

Sceen two: we were now living in League City and again I was teaching MDO, 2and 3yr. olds again. Our son now age 4. The hitting, bitting, tantrams, not behaving, not minding, couldn't sit still, would look right at you and cry because he knew he was about to get into trouble for what he was ABOUT to do and still would do what ever it was....yeah all of that had been going on for yrs. already. I honestly thought that if someone couldn't help my child then they were going to have to look me away in a loony ben. Well at MDO, even with me teaching there, we almost got kicked out because he was just so hard to deal with.

So we went to the pedi Dr. she referred us to the Devereau Clinic in League City. We had him evaluted and low and behold....ADHD. Yes they looked into the family history of it all and I was as a child too. My parents didn't medicate me and I did strugle in school. Mind you I was very into sports, track, diving team, even Cheerleading. I had to keep my grades up to be able to do any of that. But I strugled and felt like I personaly want more for my child. I didn't want him on meds. I was so scared of it all. But the Dr. explaned....that if a child truely had a chemical imbalance that was causeing the ADHD that the meds would work right away. He asked us to just give them a try for two weeks and then see. So we did and man what a differece it made. This child that I was going crazy about all of a sudden was normal. (with meds.) he could mind, sit still, the wild, crazyness was all calm now and we were so amazed. We loved it.

Sceen three: We moved around TX alot over the next few years. Each time we would have to find new Dr. and repeat the process over and over again with informing the schools on our sons problems....each yr. it seemed we would have to increase the meds. or add a new med. because of someother problem that suddenly came to light...or change the ADHD meds. all together. It was a night mare at times. And so emberacing at times to deal with at school, and with friends. We honestly thought at one time..." now we understand how some kids grow up and end up in jail despite have good parents" because we were trying everything we could think of to help this child and he just didn't "get it". Something in his brain just wasn't "clicking".

Sceen four: We moved yet again...oh and by the way kids with ADHD need stability. And don't do good with change. Well at that time it was our tenth move in our sons 11 years of life so far. Major moves and major upsets in routin. So the typical ADHD child may not have had as much trouble with copping as our son did...but who knows. We found yet another Psyc. Dr. in our new town and for once it was a Dr. that said "why is your child on so many meds. he is only 12yr. old" (he had his 12 birthday in our new town after we moved there).I voiced my concerns as well telling him I wandered if he would ever be off the meds. and be able to suceed in life, hold down a job, have a wife and children and be able to provide for them all of those things a parent could think about. He asked me if he had ever had a sleep study done. Well right when he asked me that it triggered a memory I had of reading an article about a new study that had been done. Stating that some children with ADHD may have a form of sleep apnea. This study showed that the chemical that should be produced in the brain that deals with concentration and tension, hyper/calm was produced when people are sleeping with the help of oxygen. The more oxygen a person gets during the sleeping hours the more this chemical was produced. If for any reason a child wasn't getting enough oxygen that chemical wasn't being produced in the quantaty it should to help that child for the next day. Reasons such as enlarged tonsils, and adnoids. I was so impressed with this Dr. for addressing this and bringing it up, and wanting my child off of some of the meds. My husband and I both felt like it was an answer to our prayers. Finally a Dr., a Psyc. Dr. who was willing to look at other things instead of pushing more pills.

We had two sleep studies done....showing a sleep apnea problem. We were refered to an ear,nose and throat Dr. and found out that our son did in deed have in larged tonsils,but that the adnoids were the main culpret..they were three times larger that normal. And after futher testing was done the Dr. found that our son also had a ?deviated septum? and impacted sinus's. WOW....do you see everything that I just said? If this were true....we medicated our son for over 10yr. and may not of ever had too. He was two yrs. old when an ear,nose and throat Dr. wanted to take out his tonsils originally...and we moved and he got better(not getting sick anymore),then two yr. later at age 4 he was diagnosed with ADHD. Do you see the pattern?

Well we did have the surgery, just two weeks ago. It was a huge success. Our son woke up from surgery singing "I Feel Good, dunananah" and then drifted back out of it. The next day while still in the hospital, he asked for some water, I handed it to him and he said "thank you mom", my husband said "what did he say thank you for?" and I told him, "oh I just gave him some water" and our son replied "no mom not for the water, thank you for letting me get my tonsils and adnoids out." We wanted to cry.

It has been two weeks after surgery, everyone who has ever been around our son had noticed a major difference in him. Not only does he just sound different, much more clear,and autable, but some of the "ticks" that he had for yrs. are just gone. "ticks" are somethings the Dr. calls bad or weird habits the a child does over,and over with out thinging. Like a compulsion. Anyway his behavior was like a "normal" boy who never had ADHD. So we just waited to talk to the Dr.'s maybe all of this was still just anatisia from the surgery still in his system or something. After the first week we went in to the E.N.T. Dr. for a check up. He wants to repeat the sleep study now that all of those problems were taken care of, to see if he still has sleep issues, which already we know he doesn't. And we went to see his Psyc. Dr. the same day he is being weined off his ADHD med's because the Dr. thinks he is better. Cured,? we don't know yet. It is still to soon to really know. But we are hopfull.

you may want to google this.......Does tonsil removal cure ADHD and read some of the links.

Don't know what you should do about your own child, but this is just our crazy little story. Good luck to you and your family. email me if you want. and share this with everyone you know that has a child with ADHD...I do and I shared it with one friend the other day, she told her psyc. Dr. about it and he said,......"oh that is not true, removing someone tonsils will not cure ADHD". So you will run into some of those DR.s that will not even try to look at the research that has already been done. So my suggestion is read about it yourself and print is out then take it to your Dr. so they can see it for themselves.

Here are just a few of the places this study has been done:

Arizona State University
Harvard Medical School
John Hopkins University Medical School

just look at this web site for more info: MedTrack Alert go to the link for ADHD and look thru the archives you will find about five differnt studies that have been done which refer to this.

Hi M. -

Wow, you certainly have your hands full! I have a very active, strong willed son that is almost 4 (my husband also travels Mon-Fri most weeks) that is, and always has been a climber! We don't think he is ADHD (I've asked the Drs), but VERY strong willing.

We were having very similar issues as you stated with your son. What really helped us was "Setting Limits With Your Strong Willed Child" by Robert McKenzie. It is an EXCELLANT book for those of us with truly strong willed children. I would highly recommend you get it (if you don't already have it) and read it (re-read it if you do).

We have to really handle work at how we interact/disciple these children. It does take more work at first, but in a short time it really is worth it! For us not yelling as often, and about everything, really helped. The other big thing was no spanking... my husband and I had to also get on the same page as far as how we disciplined our son.

It's hard work no doubt, at first, but well worth it!

Good luck and with Hubby being gone so much the bulk of the burden is on you. :(

I feel your pain M., I too have a son diagnosed at an early age (3). My pediatrician didn't believe me, they just said he was a "toddler". We were asked to leave daycares and I felt hopeless and joyless as a mother. I couldn't imagine him ever attending a school. I didn't want to put him on meds so young so I started researching homeopathic remedies, diet... none of it worked. We did go to extensive Interventional Behavioral Therapy at TCH to help us cope with his behavior and learn how to discipline him and it helped us tremedously. We started Cameron on Adderall which made him agitated and I felt zonked him too much and he seemed really agitated and moody like you said. We switched to a new slow release drug Focalin which was much better but in the end have rested on the Daytrana patch. We love the patch, at such a young age it's effects are subtle, no pill to swallow and you can peal it off when you dont need it anymore. Every once in awhile he gets frustrated easy and I feel it is a side effect but it doesn't happen often and may be a result of not enough sleep. Another alternative we've tried this last year was lowering his ADHD dose and taking a 1/2 of a clonidine pill at the lowest dose at bedtime. It's not hard to believe a child this active can't sleep throughout the night and he revealed to his doctor that he gets up at night, alot! We would find him sleepwalking all the time too. My husband and I can't believe the difference in our son! His moodiness is much less and he's bright eyed and bushytailed in the morning. He's 5 now and gets green smiley faces everyday and participates in class. We also go to his doctor every 6 months for med checks and I wouldn't have it any other way. When my son was evaluated by Texas Childrens Hospital he was off the charts and I know how stressing kids like this can be so please don't feel guilty because you put him on meds. I get to work with alot of teenagers, one that was leaving for college told me he too was on Focalin(and had been for awhile) and didn't mind taking it at all. He knew he couldn't get his work done without it and is finishing his degree in Chemical Engineering. It's an extremely hard decision to put your child on meds, I don't even like taking aspirin but Cameron couldn't function without it and it's done wonders for his self esteem. He's so intelligent and now everyone can see it. I wish you and your family the best!

Have you tried biomedical intervention? My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a high functioning form of autism, which most doctors now believe is related to ADD/ADHD. We took him off gluten and casein (dairy), and did supplements on our own of Omega 3 fatty acids and we saw a great reduction in the aggression. We had our first visit with Thoughtful House, and the NP has prescribed additional supplements for Zach (we're going to be starting those next week). It's amazing how food allergies and sensitivities can really impact some kids. Now if mine gets gluten, there's hell to pay!!

Hi M.,

As a mother of four, you have the wisdom to recognize when you as your son's advocate need to take further action. Look into the books and resources mentioned by other moms and check out this link: http://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/guide/attention-deficit-hyp...

Although 3 years seems young, some children exhibit signs at an early age that warrant a bit more attention. You may find part of this is diet, but some of it sounds behavioral, which could be helped by an evaluation and then play therapy or something similar.

Since he is so young, it might be wise to find a few things that help for now and see how he is doing in 6 or 12 months. If things are not a lot better by then, then pursue what you feel are the next steps to take. Your Pediatrician can be a good first resource, but make sure he or she is willing to consider other factors that may contribute to what is going on. For example, one of my sons (age 11), has GERD and seasonal allergies. He is not at his best unless we are taking care of both issues.

You are simply wanting the best outcome for your son, so keep asking questions and keep gathering information and trying suggestions from trusted resources. I know you can help your son to get through this and learn to work with whatever is going on.

Good luck!

J. B
Parent Coach

Year ago I had a licensed home daycare in Maryland and i took care of a little boy and his sister for a long time they came from a stable home with very attentive parent but the boy was insanely hyper. One day his mother heard about a nutritional program called Feingold and she put every one in the family on this diet and then as recommended introduced certain foods one at a time. for her son she found that if he didn't have any food or medicines or vitamins that contained food dyes (which are made from petrol:I)that he was a very calm and normal child. it takes discipline to keep them away from these foods, but it was so worth it for them and costs allot less than meds. I am not a fan of using meds on kids because no matter what the Dr. tells you it will effect their physical and mental development.

i would make an appt. with a child psychologist or neurologist. a regular dr. can make a diagnosis, but i would rather a specialist see him. besides adhd, it seems like there are a lot of anger and behavior issues too. you want to make sure he is getting all the help he needs and the right meds too. good luck!

My stepson and daughter in-law are in a similar situation. They have a 3 1/2 year old little boy and a 2 year old little girl. The boy sounds exactly like your son. After many trials and tears, they, too, decided it was time to medicate their child. Although they do not like all of the side effects of the meds, they feel that it is the best choice for their family and the safety of the little boy and others around him. Don't give up hope. You have to do what is best for everyone.

Dear M.,
I too have a very active little boy, soon to be 5...but I refuse to let anyone, including professionals with letters after their names, label him and medicate him.

Have you thought about alternative/holistic care? I was just talking to my holistice practitioner yesterday afternoon regarding my son, and she recommended some remedies. Also, how is your son's diet? Could be he has a food allergy and is reacting to that...my son doesn't do very good with sugar, so I limit the amount he receives plus I use turbinado sugar instead of white...plus my kids aren't allowed sodas at home, only for a special occasion,
but never ever caffeinated sodas!
I myself am sensitive to wheat products. If holistic/alternative remedies don't interest you, perhaps consulting with a nutritionist might be to your advantage.

Good luck,
J. R.

I have a grandchild who is ADHD and a family member sent me an email from someone and I will quote it for you. I am sending it on to all of my children, although I only have one grandchild that seems to have problems.

"I have to share with you an experience I had years ago when my oldest was 4. He was "out of control" at times and after talking to his doctor I took him to a child psychologist and had him tested for ADD/ADHD. I didn't want to come down heavy on him if he simply could not help his acting out.
Long story - a little less long - She spent just a few minutes with us and said "I can tell you right now that he is not ADD or even close" That was a relief - but now what do I do with my little sweetheart that could be viewed by those that don't love him like I did as a little terror.
She said "Please don't take offense but I have seen many parents like yourselves. You love him - just a little to much and he is extremely smart". Yup, you guessed it - we were being played like a fine tuned fiddle. She sent us home with a video called "123 Magic" (You can still find the program on line today) She told us to use of it what we felt fit. Well, to our surprise we went home and watched the video and it had us pegged. It fit us right to the letter.
We went to grandparents,etc and explained the new approach we were going to use - Within a week we had our little boy back. We were in charge again but it was handled very lovingly and as calmly as possible. It was very freeing to me as a mother - now I had a way to deal with him that he could relate to but it wasn't "over the top". It just worked!
Now, I have an 18 year old, an almost 16 year old and yes, a 2 year old. I still use 123 Magic - seldom need it with the older ones - but oh so glad I had it over the years.
When my husband and I got together 5 years ago he was just one of many who would hear me very calmly but firmly say "that's one-" and see my kids pull right out of a tailspin - he was amazed.
Worth checking out"

I wish the best of luck to you and hopefully this may be helpful. Hang in there! L.

M. - have you tried eliminating things from his diet? Sugar? High fructose corn syrup? Artificial colors? Some of these things are too overwhelming for little bodies. I would highly recommend visiting a naturopath and nutritionist first before giving him any pharmaceuticals.
Have you ever read the book The Maker's Diet? Good information !

I have been there. I started taking my son to doctors for his behavior at age 3. Over 3 years, we saw several psychiatrists, pediatricians and behavioral specialists. He had EEGs and a brain MRI. He was diagnosed with Bi-polar, Aspergers, ADHD, and autism. I had to quit my job and get rid of our pets - he was hurting them. I was put on a waiting list to see an Autism specialty team at Madigan hospital in Washington. When we finally got in at age 5 1/2, they said he just had severe ADHD and he has been on Concerta and then switched to Strattera ever since. He's 11 now and a straight A student. As he gets older, his impulse control gets better. The medication helps some, but he has never had complete alleviation of the ADHD symptoms. What I'm trying to say is: it's going to be a long road, and your son will have more challenges. There isn't a medication that will be the magic bullet. I would resist adding more medications to fix the side effects of others. I would just try one ADHD med at a time until you find the one the works the best for him. I would also focus on being very clear and consistant with expectations and discipline. We use timers (cleaning up and time in the shower, etc.) and once he was in school he had lists for getting ready in the morning. Reward the good behavior and have an incentive program. Accept that you can't take him to the grocery store with you, and give him opportunities to vent his aggression and hyperactivity - punching bag? Good luck.

Have you tried having him tested for food Allergies? My cousin has a 4 yr old son that was the SAME way, poor baby nobody wanted him over at their homes because he was so destructive. Well she was at her wits end and had him tested for any and everything, His doc wanted to put him on ADHD meds but she was reluctant. After all his tests came back it showed that he was allergic to Wheat and other food items (I can' remember them all). But she adjusted his diet and now he is an ANGEL he even holds his baby sister!

Hi M.-
I would ask your Dr for a prescription for an evaluation by a pediatric occupational therapist. It sounds like he has some sensory processing issues from the behaviors you mentioned. An occupational therapist can help you and him recognize those issues and then deal appropriately with them, at the same time trying to minimize them.
If you have more questions, feel free to ask me!

K.

Age 3 is very early to diagnose ADHD and considering the fact that he has had other issues, I would definitely see a specialist before trying the meds.

I dont have any experience with a 3 yr old with ADHD. Now I do have a sister who has a now 10 yr old who has the same thing and I see how she has so much on her hands. The best I can do is keep you in prayer. Have faith and belive that he can overcome and be healed through God who is a supernatural healer.

God Bless,

try putting him on a gluten free, casein free diet. it may help calm him down. i used to belong to an ADHD/ADD moms Yahoo group, and a lot of the moms had done that, and it made a lot of difference in their kids' behavior. It's called the Feingold diet.

I have to agree with Karen. I do not live with your child, nor do I specialize in ADHD, but I don't think there is a person in the US that does not know someone with this story. From everything I have heard, they cannot diagnose a child this young simply because of all that is going on in there development. (My friend has a 5 year old who’s teachers have been pushing to go on meds, but his dr won’t start them this young.) I would be especially leery of a preschool that would suggest this. As early childhood development professionals, they shouldn’t have that much experience with this as we’ve all heard how rare this is at this age. This is horribly over diagnosed and is often an easy out for over worked teachers. I hope that they don’t label too many children with this at this age. I urge you to seek out a second opinion. IF he does have ADHD, have you tried managing this with diet and therapy? Can you? Would you be open to this? I am not against meds per say, but in a child this young I worry about ANY regular medication for developmental reasons only. His little brain is still developing so fast and who really knows what these meds could do on a child this young ESPECAILLY when he is having the moodiness and unhappiness. I think that you know in your heart that this might not be the best option for you and your son or you wouldn't be posting this. Mother's intuition is the best gift that we are given.
I also have an extremely energetic 3year old. We learned very early on (like as soon as she began eating solid foods) that we would have to monitor her diet very closely. If she would eat a banana you could literally see it “kick in”. My mother who had 4 children (one of which was diagnosed in high school with ADHD) of her own and had a daycare and now works in the public school system, has said that she has never seen anything like it. This is the diet that I unknowingly gave my daughter that has saved me a lot of headaches. I also served it in my daycare and parents raved about the change in their child’s behavior only days after starting it and one family went so far as to hire me to cook for them fulltime. My daughter does eat and drink dairy just fine, but the rest is dead on. Also I recently had a post about my daughter’s 11am melt downs. Someone posted that I should give her a morning snack around 10:30am. I broke her lunch into two settings and this has solved all of these problems too. My daughter doesn’t eat a full meal at all anymore. She is a grazer. She now eats about every 3 hours, just like she did when she was an infant. She gets the same amount of food and the same types, she just doesn’t sit down to eat them as we do. Her temper is nice and even and she is happy again. I am not a nutrition freak. I have a horrible diet, but I make sure that Ana has what she needs for her body to work at its best. I wish that I had the same control over my own diet. LOL. I’ve often joked about writing a book about the “Ana Diet” as I call it.-Eat constantly, just don’t stop moving while you do it. LOL

http://www.oneaddplace.com/adhd-diet.php

I just wanted to share some ideas. I respect or decision to follow your dr’s suggestions, but I hope you follow your gut and maybe get a second opinion. If you are not comfortable with that, then I would at least schedule something with your current dr and share you concerns with him. Maybe the level of meds or another med would be available. Good luck and please keep us posted. I am always interested in learning more. I wish you the best of luck and will keep you in my prayers. I can’t imagine having to go through this with my husband being gone so much. You are a brave women. Keep up the good work.

I feel for you. My son was 4. He was "thrown" out of 2 daycares at 3 and 4. He was horrible. He would throw whatever he could get his hands on...hit..bite, I am sure you get the picture. Whatever you do a child diagnosed with severe ADHD should never ever try the Adderall medication. That particular medication usually makes them more aggressive. Of course, each child is different. The concerta is a wonderful drug for this and you may talk to your doctor about putting him on an anti-depressent to help with the aggressiveness. There is another medication called Rispadahl (spelling) great for aggressiveness but be careful if that one is prescriped it can cause weight gain. I will let you know when I think of the name. Also, watch his sugar intake and I was always told not to give him anything with red dye in it, such as koolaid, red sodas. You can also go to your local nutrition store. I had a friend who children were exactly like my son and she used Bee Pollen pills to help him. Look in your local nutrition store and talk to the specialist there. They are usually experts in this area. The best thing you can do for your child is research. Online and there are many good helpful books. Keep him busy and entertained. Good luck. It is hard. The decision to have him on medications at such a young age was something that I fought and I tried everything possible before medication was okayed by me. Be patient and since you have another child, make sure you give your ADHD child one on one...because self-esteem is a huge factor for them. Praise them and love them were you are at.

I was there with my oldest daughter, she still to this day has adhd. She wasnt abusive to any one but her hyperness was to the extream....Thay have tried several meds for her and the one that seems to be working the best is Adderal xr. You might be ableto ask your doctor about this med. I dont know if your little man is to young for it but its worth a try.
You might also ask about anti depressants for your son if your doctor says that may help.

I wish you the best of luck. My youngest son is just getting started with being elvaluated for being adha or with something else he is four.

Have you tried diet modifications and ridding your home of toxins? I've heard MANY testimonies about this and it is a viable option that has worked for quite a few people we know.

I know it seems too simple, but anything is worth trying to avoid prescription meds. :-)

Hi,
I have two very active over the top boys. My youngest is 6 and attends the Parish School in the Memorial area. It is a school for children with language and learning problems. There are several kids at this school with behavior as you have discribed. I know that ADHD and various other things can contribute to behavoir.
One thing that can mimic ADHD is sensory integration problems. There are two really good books out there about this. "The Out of Sync Child" and "Sensational Kids".
I suggest you have your son diagnosised by a Developmental Pediatrian or Child Psychologist.
He may have ADHD. Sensory issues come with ADHD too.
I have seen parents go through various medications to get the right one. I have also had parents tell me that their kids were missed diagnosised. One particuarly hyper kid actually had an anxiety disorder with speech delay and sensory problems. Not ADHD.
If you check out sensory therapy for your son, make sure you get an Occupational therapist that is sensory certified. The treamment area should look like a gym. My son uses a trampoline, climbs a rock wall, rolls on therapy balls, etc. Also does fine motor activites and works on his handwrtting, in OT. He is much calmer when he leaves his therapy. The Therapist has given us things we can do at home that have helped a lot.
Good Luck.
L.

You might want to check with an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory integration issues. Also, try working with a pediatric psychologist. They can do wonders with behavior. Don't give up! Meds aren't always the answer. Talk it over with a pediatric psychologist first before your pediatrician...psychologists are better licensed to diagnose ADHD symptoms.

girl i feel for you i am a stay at home mom of a 8 year old daughter and a 5 year old boy and the my boy has adhd just found out just about 6 months ago i have him on a blood pressure medicine of 1mg but only give him 3/4 of the pill every morning and let me tell you he is much better in school and not being sent to principles office no more referrals no more teacher calling me during the day it tires him to be on everyones level like he should be and you can tell if i dont give it to him but i am very pleased with it i dont have it with me now but it sounds like tenic 1mg and it is for blood pressure good luck i know you need it and hope i helped!

My oldest child was diagnosed with ADHD when he was around 4 and I have had great success with ADDERALL. My son is now 14 and he is making A's and high B's in school. I suggest that when he gets old enough to get into Headstart, that you enroll him. That will give him the chance to learn to interact with others and a structured way to focus. It helped my son a great deal to be on his meds and in some structured enviroment with others his own age.

M.
You may want to consider going to a phycologist for therapy for your son. They will be able to control his meds better and give you direction for his behavior. Meds do not work alone. My nephew did not start talking until he was four and he started a head start program. My sister in law started him on meds perscribed by the phycologist and they went through serveral diffrent meds before they found what worked for him. you have to have great communication with your doctor and let them know how he is reacting to the meds. He should be focused but should not be moody. Hope this information will help you and I wish you the best of luck with your son. It will get better! Communication with the doctors are the key.
J.

M., is your pediatrician aware of your child's aggressive behavior on his meds? It could be that it's time for a change in RX. Some ADHD RXs may cause or increase aggressive behaviors, as a side effect. My normally sweet-natured child with ADHD and high-functioning autism had to switch ADHD RXs twice due to aggressive behaviors.

Second, although you've addressed speech therapy, has your child ever been evaluated for Occupational Therapy. It's possible your son could benefit from OT for sensory dysfunctional issues. He may be exhibiting aggression due to sensory overload in the areas of sights, auditory, touch, vestibular, etc. Addressing the OT issues now, as I believe they may exist, will have a HUGE impact on learning, particularly with an ADHD child, such as being able to focus in a classroom filled with extraneous noise and handwriting issues (writing and listening at the same time).

Also, has your child ever been tested for food sensitivities or food allergies? Certain foods can cause or aggravate behavioral issues. My child was given the "RAST" test - a blood test and found to be allergic, NOT intolerant, to certain foods. In addition to what she's allergic to, I have found she's best served, from a physical, learning and behavioral standpoint on a GLUTEN-FREE/CASEIN-FREE DIET. Determine what your child may be allergic, intolerant or sensitive to, AND what the result would be if you gave the offending foods.

Lastly, I believe Shaklee's natural supplements make a huge difference for MY child with ADHD and autism, particularly the Probiotic for cleansing and keeping the intestines healthy, Omega-3 for the neurological system, particularly the brain and sensory issues, Nutriferon for a healthier immune system, and B-Complex to help regulate mood, stress and growth.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me at ____@____.com luck and God bless, M..

This may sound simple, but how does he sleep? I know that when my daughter goes to bed late and doesn't get at least 11 hours, she is uncontrollable. She just can't seem to shut down. I wouldn't suggest taking him off meds, but maybe you could try some other things (more sleep/quiet time, natural foods) while lowering his dose (only with docs okay)?

I am so sorry for your frustration. Here are several things to try: 1.) Evaluate his diet. Avoid sugar like the plague. Sugar is a chemical and not only attacks your immune system, but can contribute to hyperactivity. 2.)Limit television as much as possible. I have read several negative articles related to television and ADHD. 3.) Take him off of dairy for a week and see if you notice any improvements in his behavior. Some people process dairy products like it is a drug and just don't tolerate it. It is easier than you think. We use Soy (Silk) milk and soy cheese. Doctors are not required to take even an hour of nutrition in med school. 4.) When my second child was born, my oldest daughter was so jealous and would hit the baby and yell at her. It eventually subsided, but I tried by best to remain calm. Her teacher even recommended taking my oldest daughter on an outing once a week if possible, (without her other sibling) so she could have my undivided attention and know she was still just as important. I hope some of these ideas help you.

Give the medication a chance under close supervision with your doctor. We have been successful with my son with a combination of behavioral therapy (counseling), medication and diet control. We are working with a nutritionist to reduce sugar, processed foods and artificial colorings (red dye, etc). We are happy to report good results.

Having your husband away I imagine you are exhausted and stressed. I am sure your boys pick up and play off your emotions. Try to get support of friends, exercise and rest when you kind. Be strong!!

I have a friend whose daughter is ADHD. She started giving her a juice called BodyBalance, made from Aloe and Sea vegetables, and her behavior has been very much improved. There is a money back guarantee, where if you decide it's not helping, you can send back the empty and unused bottles for a refund. The amount is to figure 1 oz/50 pounds, adjusted accordingly. You can check it out at www.lifeforce.net/20718417. Good luck with everything! J.

I suggest you be patient. Medication isnt the best thing for them, especially since you see him moody and unhappy.

Nutrition, nutrition, nutrition. Don't be afraid to parent -- I know this sounds crazy, but Supernanny is a fantastic show to watch - and I do believe there is a book out by her -- she deals with "wild" child syndrome as I call it. Go to michaelsavage.com and look for his book on nutrition for children -- getting the nutrients from the gut to the brain is soooooo important. Structure - stability - is very important with ADHD children. That's why the way you discipline is crucial -- the timeouts that Supernanny uses and the repeating of why they are there works - a schedule to their day - a time for eating, playing, reading, napping, etc...make a chart and post it so he can see it and start to rely on it. As he grows don't give him too many tasks at once to do -- they get overloaded very easy --I used to make a list of things they needed to do and then they just took one item at a time and then checked them off. Time to do some research on handling a child with this condition. Teach him correct behavior, positive ways to deal with the over sensory feelings, to be organized as he gets older....you are his first teacher. I have been watching some specials on autism and the way the parents get involved and interact and work with their children is inspiring -- helping our children is our job -- 24/7 and other things will need to take a backseat to their special needs, do the work now and when they get into school they will adjust better. Good luck -- these kids have challenges - but they are bright.

EDITED TO ADD: Here is a sensory checklist that might be helpful, I have been trying to watch my child for this also:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

I know I am no expert. But I have done some research myself for my son who is 4. I think the things that you are explaining do not necessarily diagnose ADHD. Even if your pediatrician says so you should get a second opinion. I think it is too young to diagnose and I also believe that medicating could do more harm that good, especially if you say he is moody. If it is not ADHD the medication will not work as is should. In my research there is a diet to rule out food allergies that can cause behavior problems. It is very strict but worth it if you do not have to medicate. Also there are other things that would present themselves as ADHD if you do not know otherwise. There is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Please do comprehenseive research on the internet and then visit with your pediatrician again. My friend has a daughter with the sensory dysfunction and if she had not had a background to be aware of it her daughter would likely have been labeled as ADHD. Now they have ways of helping her to control herself. Having said all that, you said that your husband is rarely home. Couldn't that have something to do with the child's behavior also? I hope you are able to take care of yourself. I know it is difficult going it alone. But you can't take care of your kids unlesss you take care of yourself first! Good luck in your research!

I agree with NOT giving your child meds! I have an ADD son, wo is now 11, and I have him on very good, high absorbable, vitamins and supplements, including Omega-3 and Grape Seed Extract antioxidants. He is doing great on them and even remembers to take them himself because he really notices a difference in his behavior and stress when he doesn't. I also got rid of ALL the toxic chemicals in my house. Many people don't realize what this "cocktail" of toxins is doing to our health and that of our children. Many people have chemical sensitivities, especially those with ADD, that come from those products you are buying and bringing into your home. Many, many people don't realize that they can get these products for less money without all the toxins in them from a company called Melaleuca, Inc. The Wellness Company.

I also have a son with immune deficiency (he has CHARGE Syndrome) and even his pediatrician said a few months that my son has never been healthier. He asked what I was doing and I explained to him about toxic free products and better vitamins.

Diet is also another thing that may need to change for your son. Gluten is sometimes a problem. I try to limit gluten for my ADDr, although not always successfully. We are still working on that.

Good luck.
J.
www.livetotalwellness.com/janislanz

It sounds to me like he may have autism or a form of it. Do your research yourself via the internet and see what you come up with.

I would like you to read 123-magic. Its a wonderful and helpful book. Please also seek out a behaivor therapist. Medication should be a last resort,they have many horriable side affects!!
Take care and good luck.

Hi there M.,

My daughter and cousin were both on Concerta; and neither my aunt nor I noticed any mood swings with it. Check with your pedi to see if Concerta would work for your son.

Best of luck!
A.

Hello M.-

You said that your pediatrician diagnosed him, is he a specialist? I don't mean any disrespect to him, but if he is not a specialist I would recommend that you see a developmental pediatrician to have your son diagnosed. There are a lot of different developmental delays that are sometimes misdiagnosed as ADHD. Once you have confirmed the diagnosis, the dev. pediatrician will help you to identify the right treatments for your son.

Good Luck!
K.

Hello
Have you tried a nutritionist?
I would think that your PCP would have advised this.
My child is grown and has grown out of ADHD.
I do know that my husband could not drink hawian punch it would make him very hyper this is before the ADHD wave so to speak.
Hope this helps

Hi M.,

I, too, have a severely ADHD child. Our situation is quite different, however, as we adopted our boy when he was ten. His life before adoption was pretty awful, so we have a lot of damage to repair. In researching all of his many disorders, and how to help him, I came across a company that offers natural health products that are different from any I've ever seen. I was so impressed with them, that I went to work for them. The company is called Nikken, and their approach to wellness is extraordinary. It encompasses all areas of life--air, water, sleep, fitness, nutrition, and even finances.

I heard a recorded interview with Dr. Melanie Caldwell, a pediatrician, and Georgetown University graduate. Dr. Caldwell said that she treated children with primarily asthma, ADHD, obesity, and diabetes. Fifty percent of her patients have ADHD. Dr. Caldwell believes that the most significant cause of ADHD is sleep disorder. She used to write over 600 prescriptions per month for stimulant drugs for ADD and ADHD. In her frustration with the lack of results from the pharmaceuticals, Dr. Caldwell performed her own research and discovered Nikken. She started her own, informal clinical trials with her patients, and loaned them Nikken Sleep Systems to try out. 80 to 90% of her trial patients saw great behavioral improvement. I'd love to share the benefits of Nikken Wellness with you. If you visit my website, at www.nikken.com/brendaramsey, there are video presentations that you can watch, that explain the whole, Nikken Wellness concept.

I strongly recommend that you look into natural alternatives to medication, whether you go with Nikken products or not. The known-side effects of Ritalin are insomnia, appetite suppression, jitters, and withdrawal. Ritalin has also been linked to the onset of Bi-Polar Disorder and Schizophrenia in young adults.

I hope this helps.

We had the same type problem with my stepson, who is now 17. Apparently, he had problems from very early toddlerhood, but I came around when he was 7 yrs. old and spoke up to my husband about what I was seeing. After a 2 year search, we found a wonderful, wonderful doctor. His name is John Steffek. He is off of Louetta, fairly close to 249. He is a pediatric psychiatrist. Don't let the word "psychiatrist" scare you off. If your child has ADHD, a psychiatrist and not a pediatrician is who you need to see. He will help you in more ways than just medication. We learned alot about changing our parenting methods, he reinforced what we did that was effective, changed his diet, and he gave us hope. He is unbelievably good at what he does. There are very few doctors that know their stuff the way he does. I have to tell you first that you may wait a few months to see him, and you may wait in his waiting area for quite a while if he has had an emergency patient that day. But, he is well worth all of the waiting. He literally saved my stepson's life 3 times. Once you have an emergency w/ your own child like we did, and he agrees to see you first thing in the morning even though you don't have an appointment, you will never mind the waiting room waiting time again! I can't say enough good stuff about this man! Side note....I am NOT a "get a prescription" person. I am an all-natural, alternative medicine kind of person. I quickly learned that there are some cases where prescription medication is what is needed, and that it can literally change a person's life for the better.

Try a Natural Altenative, like the mangosteen juice by xango

Hi M.
talk to you pediatrician about it and see what he suggest

I have worked with ADD and ADHD children for many years and my recommendation: even to my own loved ones, is to have your pediatrician check to see if the acting out or behavior is related to what your child is consuming. Unknowingly our children could be allergic to an ingredient in food we buy, cook or eat, in most cases the parents that talked to the doctor about this went through a process of testing or a process of documentation and elimination. Documenting every thing the child consumes and when the child is hyper active, how they relate and how it can be handled and eliminating it from the home and the child's diet.

A good example is my cousin, now about 15, as a child he would always cry and as he got older he would go into rages, my aunt finally connected that he only did this after drinking cow's milk so she had to give him diluted evaporated milk as a child and that cut out his uncontrollable rages and his hyper activity. You can do it on your own or include your doctor.

Another suggestion is that you reintroduce your youngest to the 3 yr old and allow him to part of the babies care with your supervision. Show the 3 yr old (literally) how to be gentle and how to take care of their sibling and ask the 3 yr olds feelings on having a younger sibling, talk often be an example and be pray fully patient. Children learn faster from what we do in front of them, more than from what we say to them directly.Consistency, consistency, consistency!!!!!

Blessings to you.....

Girl, I have no idea what to tell you about your situation, but wanted to say hi from a roughneck wife to another. My husband works for patterson! Its crazy their schedule but I love it. I would love to chat with ya. I am also a SAHM of 3. Email me at ____@____.com if you wanna chat.

D. Mattern-Muck
The MOM Team
Raise your income and your rugrats at the same time.
www.formyrugrats.com

Well I have been there? You said his pediatrician said he was ADHD, did you have a specialist that is specifically trained with a psychiatry background to diagnose him. He will need to be diagnosed this way. My pediatrician is excellent, but he will give advise and send the paperwork to you and caregivers to fill out to then be taken to the specialist in the field of ADHD diagnoses. There are so many other things that he could have and the important thing is that by the appropriate age he be diagnosed correctly.

Have you tried any other medications? Sports also helps--the more energy he can use outside the less he'll have to use inside. There is also a book entitled "You mean I'm not lazy, crazy or stupid; I just have ADHD. The first half of the book discusses the disorder and the second half gives suggestions of what to do. My son was severely ADD from birth to adulthood--so severe he could receive disability--and this book helped him understand and the rest of the family also. I found it many years ago so you might need to go to a second hand book store. I don't know if it is even in print any longer. Hang in there it does get better.

Excuse me, I find it interesting that a teacher and a therapist diagnosed a 3 year old with ADHD. And you doctor? There are studies out there that 3 years old is way to young to diagnose for any disorders.

He's too young to be diagnosed with ADHD. He could just be a kenetic learner with some behavior problems. He could just be an active little boy that needs to be thrown outside to get all that energy out.

What is his consequence for bad behavior and are you consistant? I'm sure daddy being gone alot doesn't help him any.

I highly recommend this book: Healing the New Childhood Epidemics: Autism, ADHD, Asthma, and Allergies
By: Kenneth Bock, M.D.

Hi M.-

What a difficult situation you are in! It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to help your son - which will help your family as well. Have you seen a Pediatric Neurologist? This sounds like a complicated case that needs a specialist. I know that there are Pediatric Neurologists that specialize in behavioral issues as well. He could have other things going on like ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) or something else. Medications are often a last resort and parents can feel conflicted about putting their child on something - but in some cases they can make family life bearable.

Best of luck and God Bless,
D.

Get a second opinion. While pediatricians may have a general knowledge and may have done a rotation in Psych departments of hospitals, I wouldn't count on them as the end-all expert. Have you taken him to a child psychologist? I have a friend whose child sounds like he is exhibiting similar behaviors/violent tendencies. She took him to a specialty clinic in San Antonio. Maybe you should look into finding a specialist for him. May God bless you with strength and patience during your struggles.

My son is almost 3 he's having almost the exact problems..I read alot about it. I found medications at this age dont work as well as self soothing methodsTell him you understand him. That hes special and loved . That its not ok to hurt sister. Just tell him Try hugging him. Make him look at you. THIS WORKS FOR AWHILE. EMAIL ME ____@____.com PROBLEMS....4ADHDKIDS