3 Year Old Wont Sleep - Braidwood,IL

Start your bedtime routine earlier. Yep - earlier, as counterintuitive as that sounds. Why? Your daughter is clearly overtired and when it comes time to go to sleep she is likely so fatigued and wound up that she can't settle down. Without a nap, she'll hit the frenzied zone much earlier so watch for signs and cues of drowsiness: yawning, her level of activity slowing down, rubbing the eyes, etc. It could be especially productive to put your child to bed 30-60 minutes before her usual (when she should be going to bed, not the 11:00 hour) time. You want to catch her when she's drowsy and ready for sleep, not when she's so fried that she can't go to sleep - that's likely why she's battling you.

If you don't have a consistent routine, start one. Give her a nice warm bath with the lights low (remember, this isn't play time; it is prepping for bedtime), a nice pre-sleep massage with lotion, cuddle her in the chair with a favorite book or two (read in a low, quiet voice or even whisper), and then tuck her in.

Our almost 3 year old refuses his nap almost all the time at home (which is on the weekends; during the week he is at daycare and takes the nap just fine). Instead of fighting with him over the nap and getting him more charged up, we simply put him to bed at 6:30 instead of 7:00, his usual bedtime. Not only is it easier to get him down, he will still sleep until his normal wakeup time, which is 7:00 AM.

K.,

Sleep was a battle between my daughter and I from day 1. Right now (knock on wood) she is sleeping like a champ at 3. We had the battle to end all battles around 2. She basically needed to learn that once bed time came around she had to stay in bed, unless she needed to go potty. During the battle, there were timeouts and we took nearly all of the toys out of her room as punishment for her not staying in bed. Her dad took over after I was exasperated and at one point she was crying on the floor and said "Why are you being mean to your friend Mackenzie?" It was heartbreaking. However, she got over it very quickly (like she always does after a tantrum) and now she stays in bed and goes to sleep very well. We still have a baby monitor in her room and if she needs us she calls. There are still some nights that she fusses and she calls us many times, but she stays in bed. I often have to remind her that she doesn't have to go to sleep, she just has to stay in bed. It is bedtime, not sleeptime.

Some tricks I have learned: A routine is necessary for my daughter. We do bath time, then some play time, then book time, then I turn on her CD player. Telling her that I have to go downstairs to clean, or do the laundry, etc. but that I will come in and give her a hug and kiss as soon as I am done helps if she is a little clingy at the end of the routine. I always go back and give her a hug and kiss, even if she is sleeping when I do so. Usually I try to wait a half an hour before I go back now, but it used to be shorter. Sometimes she will call me if I don't go back quick enough.

Another trick is that she told me she was afraid of the dark when winter came and it was really dark at bedtime. She has 2 nightlights in her room that aren't especially bright, plus her clock face is an LED, plus a twilight turtle, but I gave her a flashlight (I recommend a metal one, that way I don't worry about her leaving it on when she falls asleep). That did the trick. What I found out is that she wanted to read her books for a while.

Finally I discovered that if she got fussy for a few days in a row, it helped to switch her CD. We went from lullabyes to a book on CD that read her one of her books. We have the Susan Boyton "Philadelphia Chickens" book and CD that was in for quite a while. We currently have a Christmas CD in and Feliz Navidad is the ninth song on the CD. She loves that song and if she is still awake will call her Dad or I in to listen to it with her. After the song is over we leave.

Finally, you have to be firm on leaving when it is time for you to go. Overy once is a great while we have a little battle. Usually it is when the routine has been switched up somehow. Normally though if I am firm and leave she stops crying pretty quickly once she realized I am sticking to my guns.

Good Luck,
D.

Hi, I have been having the same problem -- my 3 yr old won't fall asleep until 11 pm. I put her to bed at 8:00 pm. She keeps getting out of her bed -- needs water, potty, ghosts, kisses, etc. Need help too!

You've already gotten some GREAT advice, but I just wanted to agree with a couple points that are working for us (our son is 2 and a half... Routine seems to be very important.(Whatever your routine is.) We dont do the bath everyday, but if we do it is usually at night before bed. We do potty, teethbrushing, prayers, books, hugs/kissses, bed. We also let our son take a book or two to bed with him and a flashlight. We have the twilight turtle too which he has to have on everynight, as well as some soft music. He also (for whatever reason) needs me to say the same things to him before leaving his room everynight. "Goodnight my sweetheart, sweet dreams, I'll check on you in a little while" If I dont say them, he says them to me in a kind of reminder voice. Its cute. I also noticed that one time I didnt say something and he started crying about 30 mins later and when I checked on him he was crying saying the part I forgot. This is when I really realized how important routine was to him!

Anyway, so far even if he doesnt go right to sleep, he reads his books in his bed for a little while and then goes to sleep. There were a few nights that he tested his tears on me and wanted to get out of bed, but we just continued to put him back in and remind him that it was bedtime. Eventually he got it. (same goes for naps as far as letting him bring a book in to keep himself busy till he is tired, although I am noticing the naps are getting shorter and shorter and Im not real excited about it! - I have heard a lot of moms instituting a "quiet time" for the older kids that dont nap so I may be trying to figure out how to do this soon!)

I also agree with starting the routine earlier. I notice that we need to start the routine between 7:30-8:30p, even if he is playing quietly and seems to be in a good mood. If we wait till 9p or later, he is overtired (gets that second wind) and the whole routine, ect is exhausting and takes much longer (and he fights the sleep part like crazy.)

Good Luck!!